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Look! This bear has a very long tongue!

Oh, god — this is what I’m reduced to. I am so unplugged, disengaged and utterly bored with everything, this stupid bear is the best I could do today.


Oh, I started to P’shop Obama sticking his hand in a hornet’s nest (forcing Catholics to pay for birth control is one of the most hilariously stupid political gaffes ever, innit?), but I got as far as Googling “hornet’s nest” and promptly lost the will to ‘shop.

I think I have a nasty case of The Februarys.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 9, 2012, 11:30 pm

The chickens haven’t stuck their beaks out of the house since Monday, except to eat and drink in the run. We had four inches of snow Monday and they’re freaked all to hell by it. Today I chased the two older girls out into it, but they dashed across the lawn and found a snowless patch on the patio and huddled together looking so pitiful, I finally picked them up and walked them back to the run.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 9, 2012, 11:32 pm

Earlier today, I was staring out the window, having a good stretch when there was an audible POP (seriously, Uncle B heard it from across the room) and I busted an intercostal…muscle or attachment or something. Hurts like a bastard.

Comment from Mitchell TAFKAEY
Time: February 9, 2012, 11:39 pm

Oh dear, hope everything gets better soon!

Here, watch this disgustingly talented young lady play the banjo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIEC9DSc3aw&feature=related

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 9, 2012, 11:45 pm

Nice. I tried all Summer to get that drop-thumb stroke right. Try again next Summer, I guess.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 9, 2012, 11:45 pm

The February’s are a recognized disorder in the Vegetable clan; a least 3 generations of us get them. There is an old family saying about this:

30 days hath September, April, June, and November;
All the rest hast 31 except for February which is a generally fucked-up month anyhow.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 9, 2012, 11:52 pm

I like Bugs Bunny’s version:

Thirty days hath September, April, June, and Montana.
All the rest have cold weather,
except in the Summer, which isn’t often.

Comment from Nieta de Bob
Time: February 10, 2012, 12:13 am

We got a few inches last week and it’ most melted away and then it decided to snow again today. Looks like we’re up to an inch right now and it’s stopped snowing for the moment so we’ll see what happens.

I think I’ll take the bus to class in the AM.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: February 10, 2012, 12:29 am

Mr Compton use to have the Februarys until we moved to Florida. Now we only have one season, sunbakeyourbrains, with a little bit of hurricane thrown in.

Can you get one of those SAD lights?

Comment from Oceania
Time: February 10, 2012, 12:40 am

Meanwhile – the SS are back!


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: February 10, 2012, 1:01 am

We had four inches of snow Monday

So that’s where our snow went! UPS really screwed up, hunh? Well, ne’ermind, you don’t need to forward it on. . .

Upstate New York, and if we’ve had 6″ of snow cumulated over the course of this winter, I’d be surprised. OK, yeah, we did get hit by Irene last fall, so it’s not as if our precipitation is down for the year. All the same, I have this ominous feeling that we are in for a bloody blizzard in late April!

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: February 10, 2012, 1:06 am

Cruel February…Written a stack of poems and essays on the malaise of February. The cabin fever, watching the dwindling cache of Mason jars that glow with the color and heat of last summer, knowing that late March will bring the first cold weather greens to the table. The frozen dog turds in the crusty ol’ snow banks that have become geologic formations:

Yes, see that lower layer? That was laid down during the Pre-Christmas era that almost canceled Midnight Mass! The next two were mere meteorological hiccups compared to the next two monsters. The first was a 10 inch high blow, cold, outa Canada. That was January’s last gift. Notice the hard ice crust on top…a false hope of a real thaw. Then there’s the top two layers, a 15 to 18 inch haymaker outa the Bering Sea that closed the city for a day, and it’s little brother kidney punched another 5 inches two days later. It was only supposed to be a trace….

There are more waiting, of that I am certain.

As for the dog turds….I am a bit reticent to pick up a select few. They belong to our old rescue hound, Daisy. She was an Aussie Kelpie. (google it, I’m too frikken tired and morose…It is February, afterall!) We picked her up a little less than two years past at age 10. She had been sequestered in a large back yard to act as a guard dog, fed once a day and basically left to fend for herself the rest of the time. That, dear ones, is Nota good thing to do to an animal whose innate programming is to be within a pack.

We took her in. Deb trained her, worked her with some great neighborhood dogs. She blossomed and slowly began to be that pack critter that was her core and soul.

Long story short….the old girl came to us with multiple physical issues: cataracts that blinded her left eye, heart murmurs from a poor diet, and a busted up hip from climbing fences and falling. Little less than a month ago, she started to look like a pregnant Heifer. Her heart was failing. Blood was being pumped back into liver…flooding her abdomen with fluid. She could barely breath.

D and I sat with her as our dear Vet gave her the sedative to relax her…then administered the dose that stopped that poor old beat up heart.

I know….TMI. Sorry. Its frikken February and I am a bit more nutz than usual.

Sister Swease, did the same thing about three weeks ago. 6″ ACE bandage wrapped around the torso, or the Brit equivalent….ibu in the day…plenty of wine at nite. Hot showers help.

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: February 10, 2012, 1:37 am

BTW…Gawd I miss that ol’Eyore eyed, Ditzy Daisy dog and her sweet disposition. She always seemed to be…as C.S. Lewis titled his great theological tome: Surprised by Joy.


Oceania, ya’ might just want to take some time to read some of Clive Staples Lewis’ work, an affirmed atheist and Don at Magdelene College at Oxford.

You might be surprised your own self.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: February 10, 2012, 1:48 am

Sven, I know you weren’t looking for sympathy, but you’re gonna get it anyhow. Losing anyone you’ve become close to is tough, and it sounds like Daisy was worth being close to. I sorrow with you.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: February 10, 2012, 1:58 am

If it’s any consolation, the cherry trees just started blooming in Nor Cal. Daffodils soon to follow.

I get the January blues. February is all downhill to SPRING!

Comment from Oceania
Time: February 10, 2012, 2:41 am

Spring fallout … SF area has caesium 150 times the EPA limit …

Comment from Scubafrreak
Time: February 10, 2012, 3:22 am

Flashy, I have a bit of a spoiler for you.

EVERYONE DIES. Get over it.

Sorry to hear that you’re so down lately, Stoatie. maybe a bit of humor to liven up the day…


Comment from Scubafrreak
Time: February 10, 2012, 3:24 am

Gawd, I keep looking at that bear, and all I can think of is Jeff Foxworthy in the Blue Collar Comedy Tour walking around on stage saying “HELLO LADIES!”

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 10, 2012, 3:50 am

When I’m preznit I’mma force the Musslemans to buy me beer & bacon & their wimminfolk to deliver it to my crib.

Comment from GregO
Time: February 10, 2012, 4:15 am

Time to break out the banjo…

Comment from catnip
Time: February 10, 2012, 4:31 am

I’m with EZnSF. I live in the mountainous Pac. NW, but beside a river at a low elevation. The crocuses are peeking out of the soil, the robins are back, and the maples are beginning to flower. Better yet, it’s still daylight at 5:00 p.m.! All downhill, for sure.

If my stinkin’ new washer worked, life would be beautiful. Do not buy Whirlpool.

Comment from Rodent
Time: February 10, 2012, 5:25 am

Oh, Oceania, you poor pitiful thing. If you’re the best that the East has to offer, the USA has nothing to fear.

I did a quick search on your “caesium 150 times the EPA limit” comment. First off, the claim is 150%, or 1.5 times, not 150 times. But, hey, what’s two orders of magnitude when you’re a stupid troll? Second, the number is for Cesium isotopes in milk, so it is somewhat concentrated naturally, not just airborne isotopes.

Once I got past the wacko leftard “omg scary nukes” sites to the source at UC Berkeley (I wonder how many of their students know that Berkeley was a big contributer to the Manhattan project?) I find that they have a really nice ultra sensitive detection system. I’m jealous. It’d take me days of scrounging around my little home lab to get anywhere close. What I mean is: Just detecting such tiny levels of radiation is difficult, and a big part of the problem is screening out background.

Anyway, after I get over envying their equipment, I notice their chart has a real-world equivalent shown for the levels they are seeing. For their latest sample (2/16/2012, the “use by” date on the milk) it says “2.4e+04 liters of milk that one would need to consume to equal the radiation exposure of a single round trip flight from San Francisco to Washington D.C.”

For the decimally challenged like you, Oceania, that’s 24000 liters of milk. To drink. To be even equal to the exposure from a modest airline flight, let alone be in actual danger.

(Oceania thinks: Airline flight! Radiation! OMG! The pilots! They’ll turn into mutants!)

So thanks for trying to play tonight’s edition of “Fear Monger”, but, sorry, you only get the consolation prize: Vanna White stuffin’ a pineapple in yer bum. Sideways.

If anyone cares, the Berkeley website is:


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 10, 2012, 12:00 pm

We had a very, very mild Winter this year…until about a week ago. It’s now normal for February (days in the mid-thirties, nights in the high twenties) but I just wasn’t braced for it.

Also, I’m on week 13 of The Cough, week three of the sciatica and now I’ve popped a rib thingy? Sheesh, what a crock!

Comment from Redd
Time: February 10, 2012, 3:01 pm

Those claws scare the hell out of me.

Comment from mojo
Time: February 10, 2012, 3:38 pm

“February was named after the Latin term februum, which means purification, via the purification ritual Februa.”

Or so says Wikipedia, anyway. It’s not politics-related, so it might even be true.

Comment from Mysterion
Time: February 10, 2012, 4:43 pm

Did you hear about the “woolly mammoth” spotted in Siberia? Most people say this is a video of a bear holding a fish. To me though it looks like the bear or whatever has tusks and big giant ears.

Comment from Oldcat
Time: February 10, 2012, 5:49 pm

Berkely hardly has to worry about imported radioactives. The Bevalac on the hill there makes its own, natural stuff.

We were doing a test there one year and the operators went a little crazy and irradiated the chamber so hard every piece of equipment left in there was a noticeably ‘hot’ in the nuclear sense.

Nothing to worry about, but it would fog the film a bit.

Comment from Oldcat
Time: February 10, 2012, 5:50 pm

cinnamon candy for the cough, Weas. I find it helps, and it tastes good at least.

Comment from Oldcat
Time: February 10, 2012, 5:54 pm

Mysterion – if it were a mammoth, the dude would have gotten a hell of a lot closer to get that unmistakeable shot.

I don’t see any sign that the thing is as large as an elephant – it hardly seems far enough from a gravel river bank for the water to be up to an elephant’s belly.

This reminds me of that Sasquatch TV show that drives me nuts on cable. They ‘found’ one in Rhode Island, for goodness sake.

Comment from Mike James
Time: February 10, 2012, 7:01 pm

“Meanwhile – the SS are back!”

Yeah, Oceania, those guys should have known better.

I’m sort of inclined to let them have a free one, however, because last month’s foofaraw over pissing on dead Taliban was unwarranted. Really, truly, unwarranted. Stupid dirty savages don’t rate, when it comes to where our guys decide to “aim in”, so to speak.

I’m also inclined to be forbearing because, unlike myself, these countrymen of mine are faced every day with a not small chance of sudden violent, or perhaps prolonged and excruciating, death, and they are enduring this for a righteous cause. On the face of it, I think every man jack in that picture is better than I am. So the most I might impose on that group of Scout-Snipers is to pick a unique font for the banner, and to not recycle the Schutzstaffel rune.

Comment from Mike James
Time: February 10, 2012, 7:18 pm

Also, if you’re interested, and absolutely no one is interested, I’ll tell you sometime about my idea for a Harry Turtledove-style alternative history dystopian science fiction novel, entitled “SSMC”. Germany wins the War, you see, by invading and conquering North America, and the USMC becomes this awful adjunct to the SS. There’s a brave dissenter who finds out the alternate timeline is the diametric opposite of being evil, and the cover design was going to combine the SS runes with the USMC stencil we had on the breast pocket of our utilities.

That’s as far as I got, I figured it was a repulsive plot for a novel. Dang, I guess I just did tell you all about it, without your asking.

Comment from mojo
Time: February 10, 2012, 8:30 pm


Some rumors going around that Kim Jong-Pudgy got whacked at a luxury hotel in Bejing. Sounds like top-grade bovine excrement to me, but who knows?

Anybody have him in the pool?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 10, 2012, 8:48 pm

James the Lesser has him. Question is, how long before we know the truth?

Comment from Oldcat
Time: February 10, 2012, 9:01 pm

Mike James –

There’s no practical way the Germans could have taken the US from a WWII start – their punk navy couldn’t get them across the Channel. Better to start with an alliance with a Fascist USA, although getting there would take some interesting alternate History thinking.

Comment from Nieta de Bob
Time: February 10, 2012, 9:16 pm

I have to agree, that looks like a bear with a fish. The Nurse said it looked shopped to him.

Comment from Goober
Time: February 10, 2012, 9:31 pm

Continuing the off-topic discussion of the mammoth – I’ve hunted brown bears, and I can tell you right now without any doubt at all that what you are looking at there isn’t a brown bear carrying a salmon. (I’d have to know where in siberia they are to even comment on whether there would even BE salmon in that river to begin with…)

I can also pretty much guarantee you that it isn’t a frigging woolly mammoth, either. The water is not breaking around the animal properly, and the area where it’s legs meet the water looks like it has been intentionally blurred (at least more so that the rest of the video).

My guess is that we have a superimposition of some known animal video that is blurred and manipulated to look like a mammoth, put into the river and rather inexpertly photoshopped to look like it is walking in the river.

Finally, the blurry nature of the video, although not proof of a hoax, is indicative of one, since all hoax videos seem to be pretty vague and blurry. Why not take more than 5 seconds of video, too?

Oh, and one more PS – the guy that put it up is a known hoaxer who has gained notoriety for two other hoaxes. One of an ET in the background of a group pic and one for some other damn thing I can’t remember – a chupacabra or something.

Comment from Goober
Time: February 10, 2012, 9:33 pm

Oldcat – as an avid jet boater I can tell you that the water there is almost certainly deep enough to be up to a small elephant’s belly. I’ve gotten rather good over th years at judging river flows and depths. Mis-judgements can be rather costly.

Comment from zooomzooom
Time: February 10, 2012, 9:53 pm

Hairless bears are creepy.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: February 11, 2012, 1:52 am

Personally when I saw the “SS” part of the picture I immediately thought of Gene Simmons & Co. I bet they did too.

Comment from Nina
Time: February 11, 2012, 2:09 am

Sorry to hear about your dog, Sven. It’s hell to lose them no matter how long they live.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: February 12, 2012, 1:36 am


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