They’re after my blood
So hungry. No food.
An hour. Maybe two.
Yeah, tomorrow morning is my annual blood letting, so I’ve got me a fourteen-hour fast going. That part is mandatory. Before that, I was packing down oatmeal and icewater, trying to game my cholesterol numbers.
I don’t really give a shit about my cholesterol numbers, but I don’t want to go on a statin and I don’t want a confrontation with my doctor.
Four blood samples now (including my last one in the States), the doctor has given me that I’d-really-like-to-put-you-on-a-statin look.
In fact, I think the very last phone call I took in the United States was from my doctor’s office, calling me back to talk about my blood numbers.
Imagine that — my last memory of America is, “wait! Come back! Staaaaatinnnnn…!”
Ugh. I’m so hungry right now, I could eat a rottweiler.
Remember – tomorrow, 6pm sharp WBT (aka GMT) – Dead Pool Round 27. See ya!
April 19, 2012 — 9:16 pm
Comments: 73
Perfect
What the hell? I didn’t win a Pulitzer? AGAIN?
Oh, this guy won?
That’s okay, then. Lefty hack. Can’t draw. Prize!
April 16, 2012 — 10:30 pm
Comments: 31
Every girl crazy ’bout a sharp dressed man
This is a photo from last year, it came to my attention via this tweet (who is that guy? Why do I follow him? God lumme, I don’t know).
The text helpfully explains that Obama was taping a statement about the retirement of Supreme Court Justice Paul Stevens, who wears a similar bowtie.
I bet the caption writer was thinking don’t think Farrakhan, don’t think Farrakhan.
April 4, 2012 — 10:25 pm
Comments: 31
Don’t point, honey
I browse the latest images of Obama regularly, hunting blog-fodder, and I’ve noticed Dear Leader doing an inordinate amount of finger-pointing lately.
I don’t mean blaming other people for his problems — he’s always done that — I mean waving that ol’ first digit in the air. That’s got to mean something. Doesn’t it?
April 3, 2012 — 9:59 pm
Comments: 27
Another easy one
So, everybody’s talking about this thing. It’s really and truly from the official Obama Tumblr. And Gabriel Malor said it looked like Obama had snagged this guy’s hat (at least, I’m *sure* he said it, but I can’t find the tweet in my Twitter stream. I suck at Twitter).
So I did that.
I was really hoping Dumb Donald was the one that talked like “Ubba nubba wubby bagubba.” But, sadly, that was Mush Mouth.
Too bad. I could’ve squeezed a lot of campaign posters out of that.
I was never a great fan of the show. I tuned in mostly to stare at it in utter effing disbelief. You know, if anybody on the whole planet but beloved token Bill Cosby had made a cartoon about a group of ugly, stupid poor black children in the ghetto, he’d’ve been run out of town on a banjo.
March 22, 2012 — 11:42 pm
Comments: 22
Yay! I get to use this graphic again!
Ah, I thought I’d never get to run with this illo again.
Arlen Specter. ‘Member him? Defected from the Republican Party in time to be the 60th yea vote on Obamacare.
Duplicitous rat bastard has a new book out, was shocked that the Democrats reneged on all the goodies they promised. Wouldn’t campaign for him. Didn’t let him keep his seniority (and hence snag a plum chairmanship).
Specter believes Reid acted with “duplicity” while managing the party switch. Specter said Reid promised him that he would be recognized on the seniority list as a Democrat elected in 1980, but failed to deliver on it.
Had Specter been given the seniority he was promised, he would have become chairman of the powerful Labor, Health and Human Services Appropriations subcommittee and next in line to chair the Judiciary Committee.
Instead, Reid stripped Specter of all his seniority by passing a short resolution by unanimous consent in a nearly-empty chamber, burying him at the bottom of the Democrats’ seniority list.
Specter found out about it after his press secretary emailed him a press account of the switch. Specter was floored that Reid had “violated a fundamental Senate practice to give personal notice to a senator directly affected by the substance of a unanimous consent agreement.”
The fairytale ending? Specter didn’t even make it through the primary next go-round, when Democrats decided they’d rather vote for an actual Democrat, thanks very much.
Ye gods, our lords and masters are stupid people.
March 12, 2012 — 10:17 pm
Comments: 33
Dog’s breakfast
The artwork isn’t mine. It’s one of the first page links on an image search of “dog’s breakfast.” Tineye turned up too many versions to attribute it properly.
Anyhoo — bit of a random link roundup for week’s end. I don’t remember where any of this came from; it’s just some tabs currently open on my browser.
You know that thing about how there are more people alive today than have ever lived? Nope. Not even close. Also, per the BBC’s handy calculator, I am the 3,029,753,026th living person born on this earth and the 76,672,989,525th ever to have lived.
I feel special.
In the Summer of 1896, railroad employee William George Crush decided to boost the fortunes of the sagging Missouri, Kansas & Texas Railway Company by staging a head-on collision between two of the company’s obsolete trains. For spectators. Like a monster truck rally. It didn’t work out so great, but then it didn’t work out as badly as it could have, either. Also, Scott Joplin wrote a song for the occasion.
No, it is not called sunday-SUNDAY-SUNDAY!
Speaking of train wrecks, Dr Seuss tried his hand at an adult book. Seldom in the field of artistic endeavor has nudity been less salacious.
And speaking of art, this guy put an ant colony in his scanner and scanned it once a week for five years. I’m a sucker for time lapse.
Oh! Reader Can’t hark my cry alerted me to this one: Lizzie Borden’s lawyer’s diary has been donated to the Fall River Historical Society. Sounds interesting if not completely revelatory. They’ll put it online eventually.
Finally, in a related matter, murdrum was a fine levied on the local Saxon population when a Norman was murdered by persons unknown. The distinction was between murder, which is done in secret, and homicide, which I guess you did in front of your mom and everybody. Do you know, there’s still more than a touch of the Saxon/Norman divide in England? The invader didn’t interbreed with the invaded much.
There, that should keep the bastards busy for a while. Good weekend, folks!
March 9, 2012 — 10:58 pm
Comments: 15
I made something for the Presnit
…but I think he’s going to need a new one after today’s press conference…
March 6, 2012 — 11:08 pm
Comments: 11
Just throw the damn hammer, wingers!
I don’t BELIEVE this week — this week of ALL weeks, when we’re eulogizing gleeful bomb-tosser Andrew Breitbart — there are commenters on the Right who found it necessary to scold Rush Limbaugh for using the word “slut.” (And no, I’m not happy he apologized).
Let’s review some basics, shall we?
■ If your name is not Rush Limbaugh, you are not responsible for anything Rush Limbaugh says. You do not ever have to apologize for things other people do. Even people on “your side.” That’s Individualism 101.
■ “Slut” is not a shocking word. You can say it on TV. Chaucer used it, for god’s sake. Your mom probably read it in her Advanced Placement English course. It’s a deadly insult (to most) but it is not a shocking profanity.
■ A year ago, the feminist Left embraced the word “slut” all around the world and carried banners proclaiming themselves sluts…and now hearing the word gives them the vapors? Pff!
■ A distraction? Really? So if Rush hadn’t said “slut” we’d have spent the last week talking about taxes or gas prices or all the other stuff we want to talk about and they don’t?
No. HELL no. They’d have found something else to knock us off message. Anything at all will do. Members of the media and the institutional Left leap out of bed every morning screaming, “WE AM RUBBER, TEABAGGERS AM GLUE! RAAAAARRRRRR!”
Stop apologizing, Righties, and THROW THE FUCKING HAMMER!
March 5, 2012 — 11:42 pm
Comments: 50
Hm. Must’ve had a fight with mom
Nope. No idea the backstory on this one. I was flipping through images on an old hard drive and ran across it.
That’s the great thing about being a nartist: your petty grudges are immortalized in mean-spirited images.
January 19, 2012 — 11:47 pm
Comments: 10