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The seriousness they deserve

I know, I know. It’s the most important election of our lifetimes. You know what? Every single election of my adult life has been described (in all seriousness) as The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes.

And it’s always true. And about half the time we win TMIEoOL, and about half the time we lose it, and society lumbers on.

Don’t mean to sound cynical, but do you know we’re about the only country in the Anglosphere without a tradition of joke parties? (Well, we did have the Cool Moose Party in Rhode Island. Go Rhody!).

At a minimum, joke parties thumb their noses at the main parties, who take themselves entirely too seriously. At best, they win a few seats and are able to wreak a little much-needed havoc on The System. I know, I know…third parties throw elections to the other guys. But sometimes I think…has the GOP really been a worthy custodian of our loyalties?

You’ve probably heard of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party (pictured) in the UK. There are scores of others, though…some with a serious point, others not so much.

There’s the Church of the Militant Elvis Party, which is a sort of anti-Tesco’s supermarket party. The Citizens for Undead Rights & Equality (CURE) is the largest Zombie rights organization in the world (launched as a publicity stunt for the video game series Dead Rising in 2010. They fielded four candidates and got three hundred something votes). There’s New Millenium Bean Party, run by an orange guy on the platform of letting children choose their parents and making tattoos bilingual. Then there was the I Want to Drop a Blancmange Down Terry Wogan’s Y-Fronts Party, which was…well…it’s a sort of a pudding and he’s a sort of a radio personality.

Oh, and they have ’em in New Zealand (hullo, Oceania!) and Europe and even Iceland. Turns out, there’s even a Lemon Party in Canada! They have vowed to restructure Canada’s economy to be centred on lemon production, support global warming so lemons can be grown in Canada, abolish Toronto and repeal the law of gravity. No relation to that other thing — if you wish to sleep soundly in your bed tonight, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, do not Google “lemon party.”

Oh, well. Maybe the next election won’t be The Most Important Election of Our Lifetimes, for once, and we can treat politics with the seriousness it deserves.

As if.

October 2, 2012 — 10:06 pm
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