Yes, that Hastings
Yes, Hastings is supposedly where the Battle of Hastings was fought in 1066. Nearby Senlac Hill, to be exact. William vowed to build a monastery on the site of the battle, which is still there (though partly in ruins). The high alter is said to be built on the spot where King Harald fell.
That’s a lot of supposedlies, because there is some debate. A fringe debate, perhaps, but a debate. Not a single artefact of the battle have been found on the spot, which has led some to speculate the actual fight was elsewhere.
But as far as I know, artefacts haven’t been found elsewhere, either.
Uncle B and I walked across that field once and I found a shot glass. I think I still have it. Interesting, but not medieval.
December 4, 2025 — 5:26 pm
Comments: 9
Shoot, we missed it
Hastings is the last town in Britain to celebrate Catterning and Clemmening. It was on November 28. It’s where a man dressed as a blacksmith and woman depicting Saint Catherine walk around the town and…pass. No idea. Ask for apples? Read it at the link.
The Bonfire Society has a lot to answer for.
Have I ever mentioned that Hastings is my family seat? It’s where at least one branch of the family was said to hail from. It’s even a family name.
I don’t know how to tell them it’s not a very nice town.
December 3, 2025 — 5:54 pm
Comments: 9
Border Agents Find Sedated Parakeets Hidden in Man’s Underwear at Entry
Title says it all. Though, looking at the picture, I’m pretty sure those are parrots.
I gave the headline as a prompt to MidJourney and it refused the commission until I changed “underwear” to “trousers”. It really is like someone’s maiden aunt.
December 2, 2025 — 5:01 pm
Comments: 5
🅷O🆆 🅳O🅴🆂 🆃🅷🅸🆂 🆆O🆁🅺?
T𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔞𝔫 𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔢, 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝔸𝕊ℂ𝕀𝕀 𝕥𝕖𝕩𝕥. 🄸 🄷🄰🅅🄴 🄽🄾 🄸🄳🄴🄰 🄷🄾🅆 🄸🅃’🅂 🄲🄾🄿🅈🄸🄽🄶 🄵🄾🄽🅃 🄸🄽🄵🄾🅁🄼🄰🅃🄸🄾🄽 🅃🄷🄰🅃 🄿🄴🅁🅂🄸🅂🅃🅂, 🄴🅅🄴🄽 🄸🄽 🄽🄾🅃🄴🄿🄰🄳. ς𝐀𝔫 ʸόย 尺𝔢𝕒𝐃 ＴĦเş ค𝐥Ｒ𝕀Ǥ𝓗𝓽? ℕ𝕠?
December 1, 2025 — 4:34 pm
Comments: 6
Well, this is awkward
This image, I mean. It’s awkward. I asked the robot for a Thanksgiving dinner with all weasels this time and most of them were similar to the badgers one. Except this one, which has a real “you farted” vibe.
Naturally, I went with it.
Our roast beast was excellent, and now I’m boiling bones to make a stew. We’ll try that slow cooking method again.
Have a good weekend, everyone!
November 28, 2025 — 3:29 pm
Comments: 3
Happy Thanksgiving!
I told it “thanksgiving dinner but badgers and weasels around the table” and this is what I get. Badgers obviously have better PR.
Joke’s on the robot – we’re having roast beast of Olde Englande. I never realized until Uncle B pointed it out that Americans have two turkey holiday meals less than a month apart, and then no turkey again for ten months.
It usually takes us that long to eat the leftovers.
November 27, 2025 — 4:21 pm
Comments: 12
Chew on this!
I gave the robot the first line of Lorem Ipsum to chew on, usually rendered as “Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.” I have no idea what I thought it would do.
Lorem Ipsum is kinda sorta Cicero, but deliberately scrambled a bit. Graphic designers use blocks of this nonsense text to do layouts so that the design isn’t overshadowed by any actual meaning.
It supposedly goes back to a 15th Century typesetter, which come to think of it is as far as typesetting goes back. It’s gone in and out of fashion (currently: in). In this day and age, you can get a computer to generate it for you, any length you like.
More Lorem Ipsum lore at the link.
p.s. trying to talk myself into a subscription to the music robot. Black Friday sale: £40 for a year.
November 26, 2025 — 4:16 pm
Comments: 4
Heyyyyyy
The prompt, at Durnedyankee’s suggestion, was “asshat”. I think we can all recognize who THIS is. I detect a touch of bias, MidJourney!
Uncle Al’s suggestions: Colonic Cornet (gave me a regular old cornet), Pooter Tuba (gave me a regular old tuba), Flatus Flageolet (three ordinary-ish flutes and a sort of nightmare rabbit crawling out of a roll of paper towels) and Tail End Trombone (an assortment of trombones).
They weren’t really regular old trombones, though. As someone who used to play the trombone in Middle School band, I can say quite confidently that the tubes do not go into and out of each other in anything like that way.
What? I inherited the trombone from my big brother and it meant I could sit with the boys and poke those snooty cellists in the butt with my slide.
November 25, 2025 — 7:59 pm
Comments: 6
Not as sophisticated as a Medieval monk
Midjourney wouldn’t draw me a butt trumpet :(
“Sorry! The AI Moderator is unsure about this prompt. Please try adjusting your prompt or trying a different idea.” I get that they don’t want to be used to draw porn, but it’s awfully sensitive about fart jokes.
Don’t ask me how I know.
It let me do a peach trumpet and a budgie smuggler, but the resulting images had all the ribald humor of Aunt Bee. Speaking of which, Ebay has decided I really, really wanted the Aunt Bee Cookbook and lets me know about it every time one comes up for sale.
Article about Medieval butt trumpets here.
November 24, 2025 — 5:39 pm
Comments: 4
I could have posted something interesting tonight
But I didn’t.
Coldest night of the year. I’m going to go sit by the fire. Have a good weekend!
November 21, 2025 — 7:06 pm
Comments: 6