sweasel.com

I’ve gone swimming in the Dead Pool but once, and I felt awful afterward, so I won’t be playing again. BUT a signed, numbered (perhaps refreshed/revised) Dead Pool print seems logical and appropriate. You could fill in the name of the departed, the name of the winner, the date, and your name (Stoaty Weasel that is). Quite a keepsake, I’d think.

Didn’t Uncle Badger give you a piece of weasel jewelry? You could drop some hot wax over a bit of ribbon and apply your “seal” to make it official.

70 day old dick??? Ugh.
I still like the idea of WeaselArt. I can always read the delightfully trashy UK papers online.

Oh yeah. Amazon sells dick.
http://www.amazon.com/Auntys-Spotted-Dick-Steamed-Pudding/dp/B003U4LDXQ/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1362693945&sr=8-2&keywords=aunty%27s+spotted+dick

Dick Sponge!
http://www.amazon.com/Heinz-Spotted-Sponge-Pudding-9-4-Ounce/dp/B000II27QE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_gro_1

I got the Dead Pool idea from Howie Carr’s radio show, Deborah. People always loved his Dead Pool and were cheery and chatty calling in for it. It really puzzled me at first.

And then I realized that morally, it wasn’t as ambiguous as it seems at first glance. It would be an awful thing to do if only some of us were going to die, but in reality every single one of us is. So we all have a right to make light of it. I think that’s why people sounded so celebratory.

Or maybe I think too much.

Does this mean that Skippy can’t be Governor now? Not ever?

Dick is available at my local Safeway, so I’d much prefer a from vous.

If I win, would you do a label for my coming line of spirits and commestables?

Any, or all, of the suggested seem a fair reward for spending 15 seconds typing a name that’s beyond it’s expiration date. I like the WeaselArt idea. An signed Zombie Reagan would embiggen a shriveled, blackened, conservative heart.

My vote is for Weasel Art for sure. I still have the little waving weasel you drew on the box you sent the beans in (the original pre-dick Dead Pool prize for you newcomers).

You’re in England. Matt Smith is in England. The place is only about the size of Illinois. How hard would it be to stalk him and steal, I don’t know, a used coffee cup or something from him? Or his shirt? Or him?

Keep the dick prize going but make it a virtual one, with the winner getting your artwork by mail.

Or send them a sketch of a dick!

I am GEENIUS!

Just a thought… What about finding a company in the same country as the Dick-Winner, that you can purchase the Dick, and have said company ship it to the winner?

To start you off…

USA: Amazon

Canada: Flowers & More (yeah, I was a bit surprised by this one too)

Hrm. Two links. I’m going to the Special Spam Filter Hell now aren’t I?

Grom,

Whenever I’m so depressed that midget lesbian porn or even Youtube videos of hillbillies getting tasered won’t help, I listen to Dick Cheney reading from the Necronomicon.

I tried to fob steve off with a drawing of a dick, mojo. You know, the eighth or ninth time he won the Dead Pool. Turns out, I can’t draw dick.

Huh.

Bob made me LOL.

Win a dick was a great idea, but I can see how it would become expensive as more people try to win a dick. But I think now it has turned into a chore; the thrill is gone, Lucille.

So I would vote for a signed, numbered print so you only have to do one, and make it a printable digital image. Have the winner print it up and mount it and frame it as they choose.

It’s the autograph that would make it special.

I’d play for weaselart! Especially if, within reason, one could specify the subject…? (i.e.: Chicken, weasel, zombie-someone, ferret pirate, etc.) 😉

Okay, but I’m lousy at drawing girls.

WEASEL ART! WEASEL ART! WEASEL ART!

WE WANTS OUR WEASEL ART, YES WE DOES!

WEASEL ART! WEASEL ART! WEASEL ART!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

I rarely play so I’m pretty sure I’m never going to win, but I vote for WeaselArt, too.

– from the (Mostly) Lurking Cheap Seats

I rarely play, but a drawing would be cool.

Since you brought up UK media, I’m absolutely shocked that more UK journalists aren’t found floating face down in the Thames.

p.s.: There’s some scuttlebutt going around that we are all descended from weasels.

Yeah, what Jeffs said.

Weasel art, it is then, eh? I’d like chooks or zombies…mebbe zombie chooks.

OT: Whatever youse guys in Old Blighty do, DO NOT try to play Sim City tonight..assuming they go ahead with the release.

EA is in the midst of a major self-inflicted clusterfuck.

It’s so bad that Amazon has suspended sale of the game. EA’s servers are mostly down. When I manage to log in from Origin I get a countdown message with an 18 minute wait for a server, then I’m kicked to a lame tutorial that won’t load and locks my system. AWESOME!11!!

PS I got to play for four hours early Wednesday morning PST and the game is pretty danged cool…with a very, VERY steep learning curve.

Sim City runs off a server now? *blinks*

Just spending the majority of my week deciding on someone deserving for the dead pool is its own reward for me. Doesn’t matter too much if I win.

But, I think the ordering online from Amazon and having it shipped directly to the winner is an idea is worth considering. It also looks like they make dick in a can which might stay fresher longer.

I think if you put up a Paypal link you’d get more than enough in donations. You could call the link “beer money for me and dick for you” or something.

You guys understand that these are little teeny drawings? My sketches are naturally real small.

I vote for weasel art! Not that I’m ever gonna win it either…Always too late to the game. But hells yeah we enjoy it!

Yes! Like a little Holbein miniature.

I would love to have some Weasel Art! I also second the motion for you to put a PayPal donation link up. I will contribute. Personalised mini-sketches where we choose the subject? How cool is that?? I just love this website.

Definitely Weasel Art. Preferably of chickens. Or Zombie Reagan.

Or Zombie Reagan with a Zombie Bantam Hen…

I too echo the desire for nom-de-guerre autographed art from Her Stoatiness. My daily battle against tedium is given succor by the levity of this blog (at least 71.42857142857143% of the time, anyway) and I would GLADLY accept this artwork as reward. And dare I say cherish it.

Looks like Hugo is to become the Venezuelan version of Spotted Dick:

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2013/03/07/chavez-body-embalmed-to-be-permanently-on-display/

Art! Yes, art would be great. Maybe a zombie version of the celebrity that snagged the dick for the winner.

Oooh yeah, the art of the ermine, or the coin of the realm would be sweet. You don’t pimp your wares enough, Madam Weasel, a paypal link is not as tawdry as you think.

Just the thought of my little contribution helping to fund a day trip to a creepy old castle, or a bottle of spirits, warms the cockles of my cold dark conservative heart.

I’d be just fine with a chicken sketch, or sketch of whatever. Could have a smaller icon in a corner of Aunty’s Dick packaging. And signed by the artist, of course.

um yeah, like I’m gonna win the Pool or something.

How about a “Hutch wuz robbed” tee shirt with Hugo’s mug on it. Viva La Revolucion!

I have a Weasel’d picture of a Scottish cat what’s I dearly love …and which resides in a wee (that’s Scott’s lingo right there, folks) frame on my office wall; whenever people ask about it, I tell them I won it in a dick contest. The reaction varies, but men and women alike give me a look, and never ask more…

Me, I likes it.

I vote for (signed) WeaselArt too. Someday, Ms.Weasel, you will be famous!!!

I could go for some weasel art, too!

Of course, I’ll never win, so asking me means practically nothing. 🙂

Smut. Just fill a largeish mailer with the most horrible smut you can find. & if you go for German smut, pretty soon you’ll stop having to send it.

I’m good with the concept of virtual dick, and signed actual art. Especially if you would accept a suggested theme. In deference to your claim at being lousy at drawing girls, I suggest that giving you a veto over the suggested subject matter [after all Oceana might win someday, and the concept of him engaged in amorous activity with a kiwi and a sheep on the Hobbiton movie set would not bear illustration. There ain’t enough brain-bleach in the world.] would handle that and other problems that may arise.

You mentioned that they were “little teeny drawings”. Are they big enough to be framed, say 4 x 6?

Subotai Bahadur

http://www.youtube.com/embed/vhnLk3TJWFY?rel=0

As a one-time winner of the dick, I told you I didn’t want it because it seemed a big expense for something I wouldn’t eat.

I’d say Weasel art is far more valuable and desired. I can see dick anywhere (there is lots of it on the intertubes), but I can only steal get weasel-art here.

I Would be THRILLED to get a real life singed weasel art! May I suggest a sketch of a dick? em. no. forget I said that.

Chicken and Stoat sketches are the way to go! We don’t wants no shinny trinkets….

I hold out for dick. For one thing, I have a friend who regularly flies over from Britain (he lives in Oxford) who would carry it, I think.

I would love a little art, chicken preferred or weasel. I only choose people I don’t like, so will probably never win. Paypal is a good thing too, as you entertain us and should receive something in return.

I like that idea of a sketch of the zombified “winning” celeb, that seems really appropriate and might play into the picks.

What JeffS said!

You could write (caligraph, print, whatever) below your artwork something like:

(Name of recipient)
Winner of the coveted Order Of The Spotted Dick – mm,dd,yyyy
-S. Weasel, Grand Poobah & HMFIC

What Steamboat McGoo said!

I, too, would love to win some nice weasely art, but don’t want Stoatie to feel all squidgy. So, how about sending the winner a nice congratulatory note on a Donald McGill post card?

It looks like the idea of the art is going over quite well, Stoaty. 🙂

A teensy signed–only EZnSF’s prize should be singed–piece of WeaselArt would be a joy forever, much, much preferable to dick, regardless of its subject.

Not that I have a hope in hades of winning, but I’m down with weasel art instead of dick.
.
If I really wanted spotted dick, I’m told one of the larger warehouse stores in the area has an “English Imports” section.
.
By all means, keep the dick jokes .. add a “sponsored by” tag to the art?
.
Mew

Signed, signed, signed. Not singed. Signed. (Although I’m sure our Stoatyness has a lovely voice)

Something frameable. Flammable?

What about a poster, and if you win 3 times, you get a t-shirt? I don’t know how often that happens, but it could help make people want to play and get to the blog first. I know I always forget and then I gotta make sure none of my guesses are in the already 65+ comments… And they usually are.

My two cents. You aske for em.

I gotta be honest, I feel the same way about doing art as a gift. I feel like they’re humoring me, like mom magneting some piece of crap on the fridge no matter how awful just because a child did it. Its probably all just pride, but I just am uncomfortable with the whole “draw me a picture” thing from family.

Well, as someone who can’t draw worth beans, hand-drawn art gifted to me from someone who can is treasured. I have on my wall a picture done for me by one of our art teachers when he found out I had cancer the first time. He told me that he knew that there wasn’t anything he could really do to help, but hoped the art would at least remind me that someone was rooting for me to beat the beast.

Now, I’d never have bought it ordinarily, not my style, but it’s hanging on my bedroom wall where I can see it first thing when I wake up and last thing before I sleep, and it reminds me every day that there are a lot of folks rooting for me to beat the beast. Treasured.

I hope those who have received art from your hands, Chris, value your gift of the heart and hands as much as I value those who have gifted me.

(Sorry to be serious on your site, Stoaty. :))

Speaking as a wife,mother,woman,actress someone who desperately wishes she had greater artistic skill, I love the idea of getting a signed bit of a sketch from one whom I admire. It’s the equivalent of a long hand-written letter that you keep for years, simply because you want to relive the pleasure of reading it.

Just in case, if you decide to go with the art, and If I win, I’m asking for a pitcher of my son and his Norwegian girl, just like the chicken one up top, to give them as a wedding gift.*

Better win fast, wedding’s in October!

* or maybe jus’ keep fer meself

O-riginal S.Weasey signed-artiness has gots to be da tops…The Artiste’s Choice, as to subject, I’d think.

Signed, dated, inscribed as to purpose (“Awarded for/because…”,etc. – drop-ship of Amazon (et.al.) Spotted Dick would be possible, of course, and doubtless fully-subscribed via PayPal, but Stoaty-Art?…priceless, indeed.

(Among the few items I treasure from my late spouse, and will never, ever part with until my own demise, are several small pieces of her own artwork, simple in theme and execution but uniquely hers…she was pretty good at it, and getting even better…)

I figger, hey, if I persist (and SomeVeg doesn’t nose me out at the critical juncture), Insaney Red-Britches Janey Fonda’s gotta go sometime, right?

(Unless I maybe get caught betwixt/between, like Hutch, of course…)

Just my $0.02-worth.

seeing as I never win the Pool (or the Pools, for that matter) I’m up for Weaselart even tho I kinda got it by proxy with the whole Nixon/Agnew 2016 thing you did for me! Go you!!!

You guys are nuts. I’d have gone with the coin, no doubt about it.

Veeshir, send me your address and I’ll send a retroactive dick. We all understand that “dick” is now a metaphor, right?

I’ve never played the Dead Pool, but it sounds like it’d be fun to anticipate some Weasel Art.

World Market here in Da Swamp sells Spotted Dick, so if any of you adventurous souls want to try it, you probably can.

What Steamboat McGoo said!!!!!
Nice touch…
(Name of recipient)
Winner of the coveted Order Of The Spotted Dick – mm,dd,yyyy
-S. Weasel, Grand Poobah & HMFIC

Let me join the signed art crowd. Original Sweasel art, no matter how small, would be cherished. As a matter of fact, let me put in my order for a signed copy of your ‘Holy Ermine wearing ermine’ when I win DP47. Seeing that illustration just cracked me up…ermine wearing ermine…H’aaaaaah!

1st of 2 Twitchy links for Zombie Hugo…

http://thisistwitchy.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/chavez-weekend-at-bernies.png?w=230

2nd to avoid the spam filter (maybe)…

http://twitchy.com/2013/03/07/creepy-hugo-chavez-body-to-lie-in-state-permanently/

*shrug* seems as good a time as any to stop lurking. I think the art idea’s awesome (not that I’m likely to ever win any…)

Wow, one of the favorites in the DP goes during an intermission in the DP.

I do have a question though. With the way that the media is fawning all over Huggy Bear, when he rises from the dead, can we pick him again, or is he “dead” dead now?

Well for me to say whether I would prefer the prize to be actual spotted dick or some kind of drawing would be like saying whether I would prefer my Publisher’s Clearing House Grand Prize as $1,000,000 per year for life, or as a lump sum of $25,000,000.

I do like the site a lot and admire dear S. Weasel for her pluck and creativity.

Well, when I won twice in a row, I actually requested art…but it was way down the comment thread, so the Weaz didn’t see it. So I will request again 🙂

I wanted a weasel all done up in aviator glasses and scarf for my son’s airplane-themed room. No need for hand drawing – it could be a Photoshop and still look great. I can probably find a comparable image with a dude if you need one.

Looking for a reference picture, I found a ton of super cute Asian kids in the old-timey hat and goggles. So cute!

Also, apparently Rule 34 applies to aviator getup. I shall say no more.

What Steamboat McGoo said!!!!!

Just the mere thought, upon a compliment from one of Mrs. Skridlow’s artsy friends regarding the lovely framed art above my desk, and my being able to respond with “oh?, that?, that’s my weasel dick. . . ” That’s the stuff of dreams right there.

And I’m afraid we’re just going to insist on the PayPal button. Not much you can do now but put one up. Sorry, but get to it.

It’s not the kill, it’s the thrill of the chase. The weasel art is gravy.

Exactly Pablo. When I won, I said “let it ride” on my dick. As a matter of fact, from now on when I win, I just want my dick to be given to some Oliver Twist type of lad. Not for him to eat, but to turn over to Mr Bumble.

I have suggested this in the past, and for your re-consideration….

Some one or another of us (if anyone were to trust any one other of us) on this side of the Western Ocean could become the perveyors of the “Weasel Dick Fulfillment Company, LLC”.

In and of itself that would reduce the costs associated with the packaging and mailing (at least to the weiners on this side of the pond). It would also greatly reduce the delivery time (which, considering that it currently stands at 70 days and counting, a mediumly well motivated kid in a row boat could easily best.)

Now, as those of us “in the know” already know (shameless bragging, that), the WeaselArt(tm) is by far the better part of the whole prize deal.

So….receipt of the WeaselArt(tm), by the “Weasel Dick Fulfillment Company, LLC”, would be the trigger for packaging and forwarding the “winning dick” to the happy recipient.

As always, “virtual dick” is as good as real spotted dick, to me. My daughter has laid claim to most of the dick I have gotten…..and my wife re-gifted (if that’s the appropriate term) one package to her sister and brother-in-law for Christmas a while back…. (I can only imagine the hoots of derision eminating from my two young nephews when that was opened under the tree.)

I love my Weasel Art!!! We have enough dicks in our legislature…..

Another vote for WeaselArt, ma’am. A signed print of the Dead Pool skelly with Mai Tai with the date and name of the deceased, signed by Stoaty, herownself, would be da bomb!

I would love a hand-drawn picture of a weasel sitting down to tea with two chickens, enjoying a grilled dick.

Holy Shit…Stoaty, Are you aware that this exists?

Poultrygeist:Night of the Chicken Dead

What’s next?

The Two-Headed Chick-odile
Chixorcist
Night of the Living Jerked Chicken
It Came from Within the Henhouse
Eraserhen

Holy Shit…Stoaty, Are you aware that this exists?

Poultrygeist:Night of the Chicken Dead

Troma Entertainment? Check!
Cameo by Ron Jeremy? CHECK!

Weasel art is fine with me

Myself? I’d like a 5X7 autographed picture of You and Uncle B.

Snerch. I go away for two lousy days and now it looks like I’m going to be forever dickless.

Growl.

I thought the solution of using a local supplier would be obvious. Faster and far cheaper. However, I can’t expect you to spend scads of cash on this silly business. Your art is free to you, and gets here with merely a stamp.

Sigh.

When I worked for the giant technical consulting company EDS many years ago we had a slogan competition to come up with some new catchphrase that was supposed to drum up business. Emphasize value and cost savings and stuff. Our CEO had recently changed from Les Alberthal to Dick Brown, and we all knew the competition was fixed anyway (boss’s secretary won it, uh huh). So my submission was “We used to work for Les, now we do it for Dick” – and not one person got the joke or was willing to even bat an eyelash in recognition. Uh huh. I was well rid of that company when they laid me off a month later. Soulless zombies.

I’m totally down with getting WeaselArt instead of dick.

But is it real art?

Yep, us non-artisty types are all happy about the idea of getting a Weasel sketch just for us. Me too !!leventy1!

Well, if you can’t get weasel dick, then ….

Wait, what?

http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/8412730/Pitch-invader-pine-marten-bites-player