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Round 53: they’re dying to win this one

JC takes the dick with Elmore Leonard. Here’s an old NYT post (pinched from Ace‘s) on Leonard’s Rules for Writing. Dude hated him some adverbs. See? This is why I can’t write fiction. My dialogue is all retarded.

Okay, ready? Here we go:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m all about giving.


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:01 pm

Back to Zsa-Zsa Gabor.

Comment from Fawn
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:01 pm

Wilko Johnson – Game of Thrones star, guitarist in band Dr. Feelgood.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:03 pm

I’ll take Hosni Mubarek, and apres him, le deluge.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:04 pm

Harry Reid.

May he fucking die in such pain that I spend the rest of my life giggling like a homosexual schoolgirl.

Comment from Janna
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:07 pm

Kirk Douglas–again.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:10 pm

Jimmy Carter

Comment from JeffS
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:25 pm

Nancy Pelosi. My second pick. Jimmy Carter is first, but weaselwannabe is lucky, so no complaints.

And my auto correct put ‘pelvis’ for Pelosi. Hmmmmmm!

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:36 pm

Back to Eli Wallach for a change.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: August 23, 2013, 6:48 pm

Hugh Hefner

Comment from Ben
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:13 pm

William Shatner, again.

Comment from eirik
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:21 pm

Robert Mugabe

Comment from StPatrick
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:22 pm

Fred Phelps!

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:28 pm

Lets go with Mohammed al Zawahiri, younger brother of Ayman al Zawahiri. Maybe some nice Egyptian soldier can make a lucky shot to the base of his skull as he runs for it.

Comment from mojo
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:35 pm

Don Easterbrook

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:41 pm

Pervez Musharraf

Comment from Michael
Time: August 23, 2013, 7:46 pm

Rosalyn Carter

Comment from Some vegetable
Time: August 23, 2013, 8:30 pm


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:06 pm

Nelson Mandella, please

Comment from LesterIII
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:23 pm

Muhammed Ali

Comment from stina
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:24 pm

Michael Moore. For the elephant shit particles.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:44 pm

Mumbles menino soon to be ex mayor of beantown

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:46 pm

Insaney (Redpants) Janey, the Fonda we’re not fond ‘o…

(Amazin’ ain’t it? I actually got here more-or-less on time, this time!)

Actually, I might be inclined towards SomeVeg’s selection – ‘cept, given the nature of State Secrecy in present-day Cuba, I think Castro’s gonna be worm-food for ’bout a year or so before they let him know, much less anybody outside their li’l island “paradise”…

Lotta good choices still up for grabs – go get ’em!

Comment from gullibleprtt
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:54 pm

phil the greek

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 23, 2013, 9:59 pm

BTW – If A. Nonnymouse fails to lay a proper claim and Mumbles bites the big one sudden-like, I claim fins on his pick (citing Rule Three, of course – Remember: it’s only poaching if the poacher successfully beats out the poachee, and if swiping sombunny’s pick ’cause he/she didn’t show Proper I.D. isn’t a useful “dirty trick”, then what is?)

Comment from acat
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:11 pm

Who to pick, who to pick, who to pick to win the not-a-dick…

Javier Pérez de Cuéllar

Yeah, yeah, he used to be a bigshot, ran the U.N. for a bit. Still alive at 93, so evidently he either didn’t make the wrong enemies or made the right friends …


Comment from Montenegro
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:23 pm

OK this time I’m going with Doris Day for the dick!

Comment from cobrakai99
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:25 pm

Hamid Karzai, before the pullout is even complete.

Comment from Vince
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:27 pm

Olivia de havilland

Comment from Bob
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:33 pm

Jake Lamotta beats his own brains out for the win.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:36 pm

Nigel Farage, by choking on his own words, either by his own hand or by having them forced down his throat by Richard North.

(My usual pick David Rockefeller Sr. will likely croak over the weekend, sigh.)

Comment from kilroy182
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:37 pm

Mohamed Morsi

Comment from currently
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:38 pm

Nelson, Willie

Comment from Spunkus
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:52 pm

Harry Belafonte

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:53 pm

Stan Lee

Comment from Erin
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:58 pm

Bradley (Chelsea) Manning
since Pelosi was taken

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: August 23, 2013, 10:59 pm

Keith Richards, for no particular reason.

Comment from Some vegetable
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:02 pm

If annon fails to appear anon, and Jane Fonda croaks, I am going to use J.S. poaching tactic -on him- and insist that J.S. gave her up in the event of the (posited) non appearance of annon and thereby gave up his claim on her! Oh, and in anticipation of others attempting to poach my pick on a technicality my selection of “Fidel” means Fidel Castro.

Nuthin’ personal there J.S. I doubt the problem will arise. I hear that Jane’s STD treatments are really supposed to be working this time.

Comment from Owen Kellogg
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:07 pm

Ben Affleck

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:09 pm


Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:15 pm

Stephen Hawking, again.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:15 pm

Ok. The anonymous pick for mumbles menino was me.

Comment from Some vegetable
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:22 pm

Curses! Foiled AGAIN

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:24 pm

Hahaha…Owen Kellog makes an inspired choice.

Comment from dissent555
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:28 pm

Joan Fontaine. Yet again.

Comment from Dan
Time: August 23, 2013, 11:42 pm

John McCain

Comment from PatAZ
Time: August 24, 2013, 12:13 am

Larry King

Comment from steve
Time: August 24, 2013, 12:44 am

Erich Priebke

Comment from Dustoffmom
Time: August 24, 2013, 12:57 am

Nancy Reagan….again. Can’t believe I forgot this afternoon!!

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:23 am

Damn – late to the party again.

And I’ll take *spins the wheel* Gloria Arroyo, ex-presidente of the Republic of the Philippines.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:24 am

Nobody wants George Soros dead yet? I’ll go with him.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:42 am

Bob Barker. Barker Barker Barker

Comment from Armybrat
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:42 am

Oh, and nice try at poaching J.S.Bridges! There I was slaving away at work today, the hubby was off and fishing off Castle Island. I got a text to join him at the favorite watering hole post fishing. I walk in the pub and realized that I had missed WBT. So I put it out to the pub…who to select for the dead pool? The choice for Mumbles was unanimous! So there it is…Southie votes for Mumbles.

Comment from Nanny 1
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:44 am

George H W Bush not that I mean him harm. He just hasn’t been well lately.

Comment from Pupster
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:44 am

Abe Vigoda.



Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 24, 2013, 2:08 am

Bugger, I forgot this was dead pool day. Morsi [whose continued existence is inconvenient to the current Egyptian government] got grabbed, so I will jump across the Middle East a tad. Bashir Assad of Syria. He seems to have fought the Obama-supported Al Quada/Muslim Brotherhood “resistance” to a standstill, and may or may not have used poison gas on said “resistance”. We are not allowed to discuss the likely provenance of said gas, because … “look, Squirrel!”. Obama’s friends in Egypt got kicked out, their compatriots in Syria may be losing. And there are rumors afoot that Obama is going to do a cruise missile strike to save his friends. Assad may want to stay away from his presidential palace.

Comment from Spad 13
Time: August 24, 2013, 2:33 am

Charlie Manuel. Just fired manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Comment from The Neon Madman
Time: August 24, 2013, 2:36 am

I’ll take the old commie, Pete Seeger. Can’t believe that no one picked him yet.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: August 24, 2013, 2:46 am

Antoine “Fats” Domino, again. This new job is interfering with prime picks in the dead pool.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: August 24, 2013, 3:10 am

In my never-ending quest for the unique, deserving, and probable…

Mikhail Gorbachev, last of the Bolshevik tyrants.

Comment from P2
Time: August 24, 2013, 3:40 am

Leonard nimoy… May he live not long so i can prosper…..

Comment from xul
Time: August 24, 2013, 3:51 am

Goin’ with Christopher Lee again.

Comment from BJM
Time: August 24, 2013, 4:15 am

I’m going with my usual; HRH Phil the Greek.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: August 24, 2013, 5:11 am

Ramsey Clark deserves to pay with dick for his many crimes.

Comment from Capt. Kranky
Time: August 24, 2013, 8:18 am

Holy Harry-Krishna I just found out that Henry Kissinger was still alive. I guess I will vote for him……

Comment from tinman
Time: August 24, 2013, 8:32 am

Betty White

Comment from platypuss
Time: August 24, 2013, 12:15 pm

Silvio Berlusconi, with an underaged hooker.

Comment from Lazlo
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:05 pm

Barak Obama

Hopefully he chokes on broccoli

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:56 pm

jesse jackson sr. lest that choice be frowned upon.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:59 pm

Hey Lazlo: Baroccoli Obama.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 24, 2013, 1:59 pm

…ya might wanna check gullibleprtt’s pick…JS…

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: August 24, 2013, 2:09 pm

Double bugger, I missed the whole day, now I need to go off and sulk and think about it.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: August 24, 2013, 2:16 pm

Aha, Carol Channing!

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: August 24, 2013, 3:49 pm

Mrs. Compton, you’re not alone in pondering a list of candidates, butt, after due deliberation, Broccoli Obama being selected most likely to become a vegetable by Lazlo, and knowing how President LastNameUnknown loves a distraction, and how he hates uppity conservative Uncle Tom Negroes, I believe Clarence Thomas has a drone circling him to make room on the Supreme Court for Hillary Clinton. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ with it, besides, what difference at this point does it make?

Comment from BJM
Time: August 24, 2013, 4:36 pm

@AltBBrown..well sheet…thanks. I read the thread twice too.

I’ll go with George Shultz, not that I wish him ill but he’s gettin’ on.

Comment from ama
Time: August 24, 2013, 5:02 pm

Justice Ruthie Ginsberg…did someone claim her and I missed?

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: August 24, 2013, 5:42 pm

Lindsey Graham (R-INO)

Comment from HTB
Time: August 24, 2013, 7:36 pm

Amanda Bynes, coz she not right. Also, the curse of 27

Comment from Veeshir
Time: August 24, 2013, 8:10 pm

I can’t believe I get my pick,

Good ole’ Ed Asner.

He peaked as Lou Grant and it’s been downhill ever since.

Comment from Thursby
Time: August 24, 2013, 8:50 pm


Comment from Carl
Time: August 24, 2013, 11:32 pm

Ariel Sharon. He’s been effectively dead for the last 7 years.

Comment from unkawill
Time: August 25, 2013, 2:36 am

David Rockefeller Sr

Comment from Pablo
Time: August 25, 2013, 12:53 pm

Mikhail Kalishnikov.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 25, 2013, 4:05 pm

Bob “Filthy” Filner, of a self-inflicted autoerotic act…

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: August 25, 2013, 4:46 pm

Ronnie Biggs since I’m late again.

Comment from rimrockR
Time: August 25, 2013, 7:44 pm

Warren Buffett the phony baloney bazillionaire and O-enabler

Comment from Tibby
Time: August 25, 2013, 10:05 pm

Mary Tyler Moore just because.

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 25, 2013, 11:03 pm

Wow, all the good ones are gone…had to take my daughter to college on Friday and now I’m left with the dregs…
How ’bout Jerry Lewis…only cuz I heard he fell ill in Australia and cancelled a performance at the last minute…and he’s 87.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 26, 2013, 12:09 am

unkawill, if you win the pool with my standard choice (except this time), I will HATE YOU FOREVER. Or until next Tuesday, whichever comes first.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: August 26, 2013, 1:02 am

There was a pig we ate on Sat. that I’m pretty sure died on Fri. & this pig sure tasted like a celebrity. Shoulda picked him.

Comment from acat
Time: August 26, 2013, 1:50 am

Subotai Bahadur, your pick is looking prescient.


Comment from cheshirelion
Time: August 26, 2013, 3:39 pm

Former Speaker Jim Wright

Comment from mojo
Time: August 26, 2013, 6:53 pm

Hey, remember Christine Keeler? Profumo? The Soviet Military Attache? Big scandal, back when people actually were shocked by a politico’s naughty bits?

Keeler today

Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 26, 2013, 9:51 pm

Gordon Brown. Come on Gordo, do something useful for once in your life.

Comment from unkawill
Time: August 26, 2013, 10:18 pm

Seven more hours to get off of Uncle Al’s shitlist.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 26, 2013, 10:53 pm

@unkawill – Oh, no, good sir! Only if Rockefeller cashes in (intended) will you be on any shitlist, and my joy at that particularly desirable death would so far outweigh any disappointment I might feel at not picking him for this Dead Pool suggests that you would be on nothing more than my “mildly soiled toilet paper list.” Good luck!

Comment from catnip
Time: August 27, 2013, 4:33 am

Bel Kaufman (author of Up the Down Staircase)

Comment from sandman, now with 50% morevitriol
Time: August 27, 2013, 8:10 pm

I take Ed Assner, Steny Hoyer and Woody Hempking Harrelson, dullard-at-large.

Trifecta of demise, baby…

Comment from m
Time: August 28, 2013, 12:13 am

Russell Johnson – The Professor.

Comment from physics geek
Time: August 28, 2013, 4:36 pm

I’m sticking with Keir Dullea. HAL failed to off him decades ago in “2001: A Space Odyssey”, so he’s overdue.

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: August 28, 2013, 4:39 pm

Olivia de — oh, DRAT!!!

Luise Rainer.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: August 29, 2013, 2:16 am

Rep. John Dingle(berry), D – Michigan

Comment from mbtokyo
Time: August 30, 2013, 2:12 am

Don Rickles

Comment from Heather
Time: August 31, 2013, 3:25 pm

Golfer Bernard Gallacher

Comment from RushBabe
Time: September 1, 2013, 12:52 pm

Nope, nobody had him. Closest we got was David Rockefeller.

David Frost, dead at 74. RIP

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: September 1, 2013, 4:13 pm

Is it morbid that when I see someone die in the news, the first thing I do is come here?

Comment from LesterIII
Time: September 2, 2013, 5:37 pm

Poor Scubafreak, science and hospice care are robbing you of Dick-like Objects.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: September 2, 2013, 11:30 pm

Pohl, Fred:

Dead. (1919-2013, RIP)

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 3, 2013, 9:37 pm

Ronald Coase, Nobel laureate U of C economist, died yesterday at age 102. Enormously influentlal, with the Coase Theorem and analytical forms referred to as simply “Coasian”.

A search among elderly Nobel winners could be fruitful in later pools.

Comment from cheshirelion
Time: September 4, 2013, 4:36 pm

I’m surprised no one had the other Castro scum (Arial)

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: September 10, 2013, 1:11 pm

So, in looking at the David Frost obituary, I found that he died on Queen Elizabeth (TW3 homage).

Comment from Hutch
Time: September 19, 2013, 2:24 am

Ken Norton just went to the great boxing ring in the sky. Didn’t see that coming…

Comment from Anonymous
Time: September 20, 2013, 12:41 am

Ken Norton. The Reaper is a slippery sucker, what with Zsa Zsa, Doris Day and the likes of Ruth Buzzy Ginsberg STILL circling the drain.

Comment from Zooom Zooom
Time: September 20, 2013, 11:56 pm

Peter King. to end his influence.

Comment from acat
Time: September 24, 2013, 6:24 pm

And .. this pool is now a month old. Not a record, but nothing to sneeze at.

I expect a “so and so picked so and so” post will be along shortly, though I don’t intend to collate one myself.


Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: September 25, 2013, 1:02 am

It’s damn irritating that all the nominees in this pool have been so reluctant to achieve the kind of success and notoriety that we want them to have. Look at it this way: it’s an obituary enhancer! C’mon, drop dead, one of youse!

Comment from grim reaper
Time: September 29, 2013, 7:58 am

Bobby Bowden – I hate it but I’m going to have to tap the former FSU coach on the shoulder. He’s left Jimbo in charge and can now move on to the great stadium in the sky.

dad-gummit!, but we all got to go sometime.

Comment from thefritz
Time: October 2, 2013, 2:53 pm

R.I.P. Tom Clancy

Comment from Laughing Buddha
Time: October 2, 2013, 3:02 pm

Tom Clancy went, but no one had him. This seems like a long Dead Pool.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: October 2, 2013, 3:26 pm

Humm, no-body seems to have mentioned that Tim Clampy died.

Comment from acat
Time: October 2, 2013, 5:14 pm

Huh. Didn’t know Tom Clancy was sick….


Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: October 10, 2013, 1:36 pm

Hmm. . How about Ray Price. He’s not doing well, it seems.

Comment from thefritz
Time: October 10, 2013, 9:24 pm

Scott Carpenter has slipped the surly bonds. R.I.P

Comment from unkawill
Time: October 12, 2013, 12:52 am

Congrats Steve!

Comment from steve
Time: October 14, 2013, 1:46 pm

Thank you, unkawill.

And it is always a good day when a Nazi war criminal finally goes straight to hell….

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Time: August 9, 2014, 11:14 pm

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