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I’m afraid this would have upset me so much that I would have fumbled and dropped my full cup of hot coffee in the floor.

Hey, Chef! You let these asswipes stand here and bug me, I’m not paying my bill. Just so ya know.”

“Well, we’re not just gonna let you walk out of here”
“Who’s ‘we’ sucka?”
“Smith…Wesson…and me”
*Pow*

Heh. They seem to have avoided disrupting the Waffle-House brunch crowd. I’d PAY to see that.

Carry a small air horn; less than $5. I’ve made hardcore-asshats piss themselves with a short blast from one. When I worked security, if a couple of idiots started fighting in the club, this would typically ‘get their attention’ and halt their stupidity.

If the ‘protestors’ are determined to continue, it tends to enrage them if you give ’em a short blast everytime they open their yaps. (True Story)

Lester, you are my hero.

Carry a small air horn; less than $5.

Yes! YES! YES!!

Airhorns. Available at Walmart for $6.36.

It’s supposed to pump out a 120-dB blast, hear-able up to 1 mile away.

If I recall correctly, 120 dB is the recommended pant-crapping level for most species of Liberal – especially if they are unprepared for it.

NOTE: Two more NYPD officers were ambushed earlier tonight. They are expected to survive, but this isn’t going to help things one bit..

I love it when liberals are confronted with the sort of nuclear-powered asshattery their policies necessarily engender but that they assume will only ever be inflicted on other people. Both of those people voted for Obama. Both of them voted for de Blasio. That’s a lead pipe cinch, as they say. Where is this? Upper East Side? Tribeca? Serves the fuckers right. You broke it, you bought it. In other news, how about the Obama-fellating faculty at Harvard in high dudgeon at the news that Obamacare – which they supported to a man/woman/genderqueer activist – will mean they pay more for healthcare? I sometimes wonder if there is a level at which Schadenfreude becomes toxic. I must be close to that point.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: January 6, 2015, 12:42 am

Granting that I am a much less nice person than you in all probability, and definitely more inclined to the idea of “Peace through superior firepower”; but I would not stop with the air horn. Noting that in New York, you are supposed to be an unarmed victim. But if I was in a jurisdiction that was part of America, I probably would be carrying something that involved the concept of hydrostatic shock. If that was not possible, a backup belt canister of Oleoresin Capsicum of Federally certified Bear Attack Deterrent Spray strength would be necessary.

If the “demonstrators” decide that violence is part of their repertoire, either before or after the application of the air horn, well, I have professionally used a lesser strength and left assailants “puking snot” in the phrase we used.

Non-lethal, but effective.

Now and then, when I have the time and inclination ( and perhaps a few drinks in me) I like to use ‘The Good Soldier Svek’ approach on them.

Svek was a (fictional) soldier in the Austrian Army in World War I who screws up everything he touches but does it so willingly and happily no one can get mad at him. In the meantime he keeps getting simpler and simpler jobs and farther and farther from the fighting.
From Wiki:
….No one can decide whether he is merely an imbecile or is craftily undermining the war effort.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Soldier_Švejk

In this case the game is played by standing and saying “Goddamn Right ON Bro! We is soldiers in the same fight for Justice! Let me help you! Let me read those names for everybody! Everyone should hear them! If you are lucky enough to get the list, read it enthusiastically in Southern Preacher style. but butchering almost every name. Resist giving it back,looking heartbroken.

Insist they sit down at the table with you for a cup of coffee. It’s a long fight, surely you have time for a cup of coffee!

When they leave tell them you wish you could go with them but that you have another protest to go to in the afternoon. Then offer them $3 for ‘the cause’ saying you wish you could do more but Greenpeace got all your ‘Fight the man’ budget right before all this happened.

It’s fun….

Wonder if they invited the activists to sit down and have a meal? I mean have a cup of coffee and chat a while, if you have something you want to say?

“Shut up, cracka!”

Do not mistake my non-lethal suggestion as having ANY reluctance to use deadly force,  Subotai Bahadur. I concurr. Should my retributive auditory tools make the chanting-idiot think they should progress to becoming a physically threatening idiot, I would consider my response to be therapeutic. The base of a salt shaker is quite the temple-massager.

I am a big fan of pepper gels. Sticks like glue, has UV dye, and often has other notable ‘interactive experience enhancing’ ingredients. The concentration I have applied has made the recipient take up hindsight as a religion.

On a side note, let’s go shooting sometime,  Subotai Bahadur.

FOX is the pepper spray supreme. 6 Million Scoville Heat Units of applied pain. Here in Wisconsin, as part of DAT ( Defense and Arrest Tactics ) training one gets pepper sprayed occasionally. The last time I got FOXed, I could still feel it three days later.

When I was a kid, we inherited (somehow) a teargas cartridge baton. I didn’t know what it was, my big brother told me to stick my nose in the opening and breath.

Holy shit. It felt like I’d been kicked in the face by a horse.

Well, we also used to have containers ½ full of DMSO sitting around all over the place. They still use that, or is it all acetone, now-a-days for acetylene tanks?

Comment from LesterIII
Time: January 6, 2015, 12:42 am

If the ‘protestors’ are determined to continue, it tends to enrage them if you give ‘em a short blast everytime they open their yaps. (True Story)
*
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Gee. Nothing as exciting as that ever happens to me. But I love the air horn idea anyway.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: January 5, 2015, 10:59 pm

I’m afraid this would have upset me so much that I would have fumbled and dropped my full cup of hot coffee in the floor.
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Or onto the crotch of the nearest protester.

The problem with the air horn is other diners.

Are you still waiting for the government to finally release the UFO alien investigation results ?👀