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Will one of y’all vote or me, please?

Before I moved to the UK, I took a side trip home. Among other things, I switched my voter registration from Rhode Island to Tennessee. Made sense. Tennessee is my native state and I still owned property there.

But I’ve never kept up on local Tennessee politics, so I usually don’t bother getting an absentee ballot for the midterms. I probably should, but I don’t.

Under these circumstances, I’m pretty sure it’s legal for one of y’all to vote in my stead. So have at it.

Or at least vote for yourself.

November 5, 2018 — 8:01 pm
Comments: 10

Ah, that felt good

This is a scene from the village fete of a very posh, very beautiful little settlement we visited this weekend. It’s the thing where you throw wet sponges at some poor bastard in the stocks, no doubt in aid of some charity or other. And, yes, he’s wearing a mask of Donald Trump.

People who inject politics where it doesn’t belong. Am I right?

It’s one of our favorite fetes. Rich people throw out the damnedest thing. Last time, we got an enormous (if not absolutely complete) Minton tea service for, like, £5. No great triumphs this year, but we got some good books and some jam from the Bible society and a sausage on a roll.

I debated saying something to Trump Mask Guy for harshing my mellow. I’d regret it forever if I didn’t, youknow? so as we were leaving, I walked up and whispered in his ear, “I voted for that man, and I have never regretted it.”

Couldn’t see his face 🙁

August 13, 2018 — 9:35 pm
Comments: 23

Things that surprise no-one

Well, hell. I said to Uncle B that the Austin bomber was probably going to be a young white guy. It just fit the crime, you know? And so it turned out to be. I would have thought he would have more of an obviously ‘troubled past’, but it’s early days yet.

It’s a young white guy kind of crime. It saddens me, but it’s true.

Also in the ‘Things That Should Surprise No-one’ file, does anybody expect anybody to reject Trump because he slept with a porn star and a Playboy bunny? The dudebros who love him will think the whole thing is alpha as fuck.

And conservatives have known all along he’s not one of them. He’s a crass and vulgar man, duh. But what was anyone supposed to do? At least he’s not a pervert (guys who bed legendarily attractive women may be hounds, but they aren’t bent) and he’s less weak and weird than 95% of the people scrabbling for high office in my lifetime.

If “grab them by the pussy” didn’t do it, this is the weakest gotcha ever.

The picture is what turned up on a Google Images search for “surprise stoat.” It leads to an article about surveillance footage of a weasel on a trampoline. Follow it. You won’t be sorry.

March 21, 2018 — 10:26 pm
Comments: 19

Happy International Women’s Day

women

Pictured: International Women’s Day march and general lady strike in Spain.

What the hell is that gesture supposed to represent? The Wall of Hoo-Hah? The Sea of Poon? “I self-identify as a giant hole”?

I wish women would make their minds up about this stuff. Like, I want you to see me for a brains and, hey, have you seen my pussy hat?

Anyway, the slogan for this Spanish thing was, “if we stop, the world stops.” But, ummm…things seemed pretty much normal here. I’m guessing nothing much ground to a halt anywhere, even in Spain.

March 8, 2018 — 10:46 pm
Comments: 12

O, Canada!

unicorntrudeau

So the image above came up in my Twitter feed. While it is obviously Trudeau entertaining a unicorn hand-puppet, the tweet that went with identified it as the Gender Identity Unicorn.

buttertrudeau

Sadly, it’s not, though I’m suspicious of the rainbow-colored horn. It is Gary of Gary’s Hug Club, a club started by a puppeteer who…solicits hugs. Yes, he hugged it.

As did Margaret Atwood (scroll down), that dessicated old bore (I’m still salty I had to read so much of her feminist shite in High School). She’s been all over British radio this week talking about…I don’t know. Her twat or something.

In the course of my researches, I rediscovered Small Dead Animals — remember? It’s a really splendid Canadian blog that I used to love back in the day. That is, back in the day when I had a corporate gig and read a bajillion blogs every day.

Oh, also I found this butter sculpture of Justin Trudeau hugging two baby pandas. Because of course I did.

February 6, 2018 — 8:20 pm
Comments: 11

teehee

kt

Katie Hopkins cracks me up. I highly recommend you follow her Twitter.

Wait, no I don’t. I’ve decided Twitter is bad mojo, whether you follow people you agree with, people you don’t agree with or a mix. I think there’s something about the pace of it that engages rat-brain in an unhealthy way.

Also, it’s becoming a roving band of SJW hit mobs. I don’t suppose any of them realizes how boring Twitter will be for them if they succeed in driving off all the Nazis. They’ll have no choice but to turn on each other before killing the platform entirely. Won’t that be fun?

Well, the Nunes memo has dropped. I dub it: serious, but unsexy. I don’t think there’s anything there we didn’t suspect, and nobody will suffer for it but some deputy assistant dweeb nobody’s ever heard of (and he’ll get to retire vountarily with his full pension). I’m just glad we can pursue this with Trump as winner; it would look awful if the GOP chased it down as the losing party.

There are hints that more is to come. I hope so.

Well, folks, looking back I realize I had a lot of fun with my new toy this week and made some pretty bad art with it. I’ll work on that. This weekend, I think I’ll push oily dirt around on fabric with a stick (we watched a program on Rembrandt last night; I got to bust out the oil paint).

Have a good weekend, all!

February 2, 2018 — 7:40 pm
Comments: 6

Artist’s reconstruction

sotu

I didn’t watch the SOTU, but I watched the MSM coverage and I’m pretty sure this is exactly how it went down. (Actually, I played around with Hitler tattoos and popping the heads off baby bunnies but in the end, I wasn’t feeling it).

Actually, I’ve been very gratified at the reactions I’ve read. Not the MSM, obviously — real people. And ones not normally inclined to approve of Trump.

February 1, 2018 — 9:43 pm
Comments: 9

State of the Union 2018

sentience

denture

 

 

I didn’t watch the SOTU. I never do. My spleen won’t take it, no matter who’s in office.

I caught the pictures of Nancy’s face, though — holy shit! Who was THAT performance supposed to appeal to?

p.s. Wow, just noticed how overcontrasty this picture is. I think my new toy needs a bit of adjustment.

 

 

January 31, 2018 — 9:32 pm
Comments: 8

Nah. Probably not.

moses

Y’all know it’s not going to be like this, right? They’re going to break our hearts. They always do.

They’re going to release the memo, and it’s going to be a big, fluffy nothingburger and fries and all the cool kids will laugh at us. Again.

Please, events — prove me wrong!

January 30, 2018 — 9:19 pm
Comments: 19

Now, this is getting out of hand…

franken grope

The search term I used on Google images was “franken grope” — I knew that would call the one I wanted up, and it did.

If anyone needs it, I think I kept the exploitable pieces. That is, a cutout of Al that can be plastered to any tits you choose.

November 27, 2017 — 8:22 pm
Comments: 13