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Dead Pool Round 102: Farewell to Hef

Hugh Hefner, dead at last. It’s true that he bought the vault next to Marilyn Monroe, apparently, causing the Guardian to joke about “unwanted advances on women even in death.”

On Hefner, the opinion among men seems to be, “he lived the life he wanted.” And the opinion among women seems to be “ew.”

I believe this is win number four for ‘formerly known as skeptic.’ Also, the very first pick in the last pool. And thus another DeadPool favorite bites the dust.

Ready? Let’s go.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.


Comment from lesterIII
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:01 pm

Herman Wouk, just cuz.

Comment from Ben
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:02 pm

William (The Shat) Shatner

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:03 pm

George Herbert Walker Bush

Comment from thefritz
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:03 pm

Olivia de Havilland. Ya know, I’m gonna be quite sad when the ol’ gal goes. She has had a long, interesting life and has a cool name to boot!

Comment from Janna
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:14 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from Steve
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:36 pm

Lester III is another unacquainted with his own father.

I think I will poach Billy Graham

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:47 pm

Gossip is that Kirk is on death’s door. I will stick to my usual, Miriam Moskowitz.

Comment from p2
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:50 pm

jimmy the dimmy carter

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:52 pm

Kim Jong-Un. Just cuz I’d be OK with that.

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:55 pm

Ric Fan: “Gossip is that Kirk is on death’s door.”

Douglas or Captain? Janna and Ben need to know!

Comment from Mad Ivan
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:55 pm

Heinz “Henry” Kissinger

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: September 29, 2017, 6:59 pm

T’is true, t’is true…Lay-deez an’ gemmuns – ol’ Hugh Hefner has – at the fully-ripened ol’ age – Left The Building…

(Gonna show my age a bit, here -)

I do remember when he started-up that li’l magazine-thingy…took awhile for it to catch on, it did – can’t imagine just why; seems rather a natural “fit” for the times, looking back…’specially with Marilyn Monroe’s early “assistance”, in a manner of speaking…

Ah, well…

My Usual, I think: Ol’ Lefty-Insaney Red-Pants Janey Fonda – Time to go, Janey…you’ve long-outlived any even-marginal usefulness you might have once had, mostly as an example of rilly low-grade B-pitchur actressin’ and semi-emoting…

Comment from Mad Ivan
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:01 pm

@Ric Fan, @Formerly known as Skeptic –

Searching Nooz o’ Teh Great Goog found nothing on Mr. Douglas; did not look for Mr. Shatner

Yes, yes, EMWTK!

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:19 pm

Barbara Bush.

Comment from Eirik
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:19 pm

Robert Mugabee

Comment from gromulin
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:20 pm

Richard Simmons

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:21 pm

Ruthie Badass Ginsburg Supreme.

Git a move on there Ruth, you’ll be doin the greatest service to your country you’ve ever done.

Comment from Timbo
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:32 pm

Phil the Greek aka HRH Prince Philip.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:45 pm

Surprised nobody picked George Soros yet, so I will. Please do the entire world a favor and die George.

Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: September 29, 2017, 7:52 pm

I’m taking Burt Reynolds back.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 29, 2017, 8:08 pm

Stephen Reinhardt, almost certainly the very worst sitting Federal judge. Certainly the one with the longest and most egregious record of mischief.

(Ms. Weasel – if you say it is DP 102, it is DP 102, because it’s your party. I count only 100 previous DPs. But two prizes were issued for DP 74, so this will be the 102nd prize. That squares it up, I guess.)

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: September 29, 2017, 8:14 pm

Beverly Cleary, she’s even older than Olivia de Havilland!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 29, 2017, 8:50 pm

“Hot Shot” John McCain is my pick this round, but I’ll probably not win with him because he’s screwed up everything he’s ever done in life, so why should his death be any different?

Comment from BJM
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:19 pm

Imma poaching Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:30 pm

@BJM, too late. Durnedyankee already poached the nasty crone.

Comment from sassamon
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:34 pm

For this round I will again choose the Ding Dong Gentleman, Leslie Phillips. Comic actor Who has been in over 150 films and television shows. Known early in his career for the Carry On and the Doctor film series.

Memorable phrase “Ding Dong, you’re not wrong”


Comment from Ric Fan
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:43 pm

Formerly known as Skeptic: Kirk Douglass.


Comment from vince
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:44 pm

Vera Lynn – a toast to the Floyd and nod to things Blighty

Comment from xul’s fedora
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:50 pm

Going with Charlotte Rae once again.

Comment from Sk.Y M-39
Time: September 29, 2017, 9:59 pm

Henry Kissinger FTD

Comment from MrsMGunz
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:08 pm

I am going with Aretha Franklin, but I bet Janna will win with Kirk Douglas.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:15 pm

Robert Redford

Comment from uncle grizzly
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:32 pm

Granny Rictus McBotox AKA Nancy Pelosi

Comment from platypuss
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:33 pm

Betty White to join the golden girls.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:39 pm

Mel Brooks
Igor: Dr. Frankenstein…
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Fronkensteen.
Igor: You’re putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it’s pronounced Fronkensteen.
Igor: Do you also say Froaderick?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No…”Frederick.
Igor: Well, why isn’t it Froaderick Fronkensteen?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn’t; it’s Frederick Fronkensteen.
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
[He pronounces it ee-gor]
Igor: No, it’s pronounced eye-gor.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was ee-gor.
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren’t they?

Comment from RimrockR
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:42 pm

Chuck Yeager

Comment from RealMc
Time: September 29, 2017, 10:58 pm

Long Live Clint Eastwood.

Comment from spunkus
Time: September 29, 2017, 11:08 pm

Dan Rather

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: September 29, 2017, 11:19 pm

Got beaten to John McCain. So I will pick the Democrats’ strongest ally in the Senate, Mitch McConnell. Preferably of something painful. And I hope the EMT’s “take a knee”.

Comment from Spad13
Time: September 29, 2017, 11:31 pm

Steven Tyler of Aerosmith

Comment from ea in ga
Time: September 29, 2017, 11:35 pm

Bob Dole

Comment from currently
Time: September 29, 2017, 11:52 pm

Barbi Benton

Comment from dissent555
Time: September 30, 2017, 12:40 am

Carol Channing

Comment from Davem123
Time: September 30, 2017, 12:40 am

Larry Flynt.

Guccione And Hefner are gone, might as well make it a set.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: September 30, 2017, 12:56 am

Desmond Tutu. Let it be said, let it be done.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: September 30, 2017, 1:36 am

Going for Bill Clinton
Slick Willy for the dick!

If Ed Asner wins Imma be upset.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: September 30, 2017, 1:42 am

Sk.Y M-39, Kissing is already taken. If you’re not reading this, boy are you gonna be upset if it’s Kissinger.

Comment from JC
Time: September 30, 2017, 2:03 am

Paul Ehrlich again. One can hope. right?

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: September 30, 2017, 2:47 am

Nancy Pelosi. If brain-dead counts, I’ve already won.

Having chosen, why the hell do they let John McCain continue to vote. The man has brain cancer FFS. Doesn’t anyone think that this might impact his judgement?

Comment from RushBabe
Time: September 30, 2017, 2:54 am

Doris Day.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: September 30, 2017, 3:19 am

Raul Castro

Comment from catnip
Time: September 30, 2017, 4:16 am

Valerie Harper

Comment from Tim Carlson
Time: September 30, 2017, 4:58 am

Oh, my. This is a nice mix-it-up this time. I didn’t know he was still alive…

I pick Marty Allen, born in 1922, which makes him ..um.. 95? I have vague memories of him from my childhood. And I think I may have seen him on TV a time or two *rimshot*

Newsday (oh, my – are they still publishing? Obviously…) just put out a nice article titled ‘Celebrities Aged 90 And Older’, which is where I found out Marty was still alive and kicking. Some good picks in there – damn fine picks.


But I would doublecheck to make sure they are still alive so as not to violate ‘Rule Zero’.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 30, 2017, 5:47 am

The monocular Scottish twat Gordon Brown. He’s got to go sometime.

I think most actual men looked at Hefner, at least for the last thirty years, and thought, “ew”. He was a caricature of what a virile, successful man was supposed to be.

Comment from geoff
Time: September 30, 2017, 9:52 am

Noam Chomsky

Comment from Pablo
Time: September 30, 2017, 12:26 pm

Roberta McCain

Comment from Conchi
Time: September 30, 2017, 1:47 pm

dick van dyke

Comment from PatAZ
Time: September 30, 2017, 3:50 pm

Hillary R. Clinton. Don’t go away mad, just go away.

Insaney Janey might just bust a vein soon as she is furious with MeAgain Kelly for asking about her plastic surgery. Couldn’t happen to a nicer traitor.

Comment from BJM
Time: September 30, 2017, 10:01 pm

So much for Ctrl F…

I’ll try Marilyn Pauline “Kim” Novak

Comment from Capt. Kranky
Time: September 30, 2017, 11:11 pm

Cecily Tyson did not realize she was in her 90’s

Comment from Mitchell
Time: September 30, 2017, 11:13 pm

Monty Hall has gone to see what’s behind Door Number Four at 96. Nobody had him so the deadpool rolls on.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: September 30, 2017, 11:36 pm

Rosie O’Donnell

Comment from Tim Carlson
Time: October 1, 2017, 2:02 am

Monty Hall has gone to see what’s behind Door Number Four at 96. Nobody had him so the deadpool rolls on.

!#@!#$%! I saw both him and Marty Allen in that article I mentioned and finally settled on Marty.

*so close to death I can smell the sulpher*

Comment from smedley
Time: October 1, 2017, 6:03 am

Marilyn Manson
Crushed to death by his own prop

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: October 1, 2017, 8:59 am

Monty Hall had a good life. He married his wife in 1948 and stayed married until her death in June. They moved into their BH house in 1962 and lived there until their deaths. They had 3 successful kids.

Comment from tinman
Time: October 1, 2017, 12:53 pm

Once again:

Bob Barker, come on down!

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: October 1, 2017, 6:30 pm

Nice discussion of a “game of chance”:
Too bad the “Numb3rs” ran out of math problems…

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: October 1, 2017, 11:16 pm

My long time pick Ramsey Clark.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: October 1, 2017, 11:29 pm

S.I. Newhouse passes at age 89. No one had ‘im. They are dropping like flies, just not the ones we want.


Comment from bikeboy
Time: October 2, 2017, 6:20 pm

Jerry Lee Lewis

Comment from tonycc
Time: October 2, 2017, 7:33 pm

For the low shot…

Tom Petty

Comment from Hutch
Time: October 2, 2017, 7:58 pm

Joanne Woodward although I think tonycc has this round nailed down with the Tom petty pick. Sad. The wife and I saw him live in San Diego a year or so ago.

Comment from peacelovewoodstock
Time: October 2, 2017, 7:59 pm

Hmm rule zero says must be “living when picked”, reports are that Tom Petty was in full cardiac arrest and “brain dead” when he arrived at hospital on Sunday night.


Either way, he’s free fallin’ now for sure. Sad face.

Comment from thefritz
Time: October 2, 2017, 8:12 pm

The wife and I saw him live in West Palm a month ago…
very sad news

Comment from p2
Time: October 2, 2017, 8:35 pm

we need a ruling….

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: October 2, 2017, 8:35 pm

Thomas Earl Petty (October 20, 1950 – October 2, 2017)
@ tonycc
I think Tom Petty was dead before you selected him.
Sorry, old man, don’t hate the player, hate the game….

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: October 2, 2017, 9:35 pm

Petty is still alive. They disconnected him from life support but obviously he is breathing on his own. He’ll probably die soon if they do nothing.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: October 2, 2017, 9:35 pm

@ tonycc
Petty is listed as “not dead” but removed from life support. He may still be “technically” alive.
You may be the winner after all…

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: October 2, 2017, 10:05 pm

His heart is beating and he is breathing on his own, therefore, I declare him very much alive. There must be some brain activity if he can do both on his own. What are they going to do? Hold a pillow over his face?

Wasnt Petty who was ranting about Trump at his concerts last spring? When people complained, he said dont come to my concerts. Dont know if he continued. Havent heard complaints. Frankly, I was disappointed. Thought he was all about the music and with the price of tickets, it seems like a rip off when they blah blah blah about other crap.

Comment from The Neon Madman
Time: October 3, 2017, 12:41 am

Richard Cole, last of the Doolittle Raiders

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: October 3, 2017, 5:36 am

OK, for real this time…
Thomas Earl Petty[1] (October 20, 1950 – October 2, 2017)

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: October 3, 2017, 6:37 am

Seems sorta-kinda moot, at this point, but…

Per CBS Online –

Last Updated Oct 3, 2017 1:16 AM EDT

UPDATE: Tom Petty’s longtime manager announced Monday night that the rocker has died at age 66. Petty was surrounded by family, his bandmates and friends, according to a statement.

So, there you have it, Sports Fans – ol’ Tom has officially Left The Building (so to speak…)

If that’s not a record for Shortest Deadpool, it’s gotta be perty dang close…provided the ruling is that tonycc got in “under the wire”, of course – slick move, there!

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: October 3, 2017, 8:38 am

Still think they pulled the plug way too quickly.

Comment from Tonycc
Time: October 3, 2017, 8:56 am

I am going to disqualify myself as violating rule 0. I never win anything, so this was a shot at keeping the man alive.

He was mostly dead when I submitted the pick. In my book, mostly dead is dead, contrary to what miracle max would have us believe. 🙂

Comment from Carl
Time: October 3, 2017, 9:29 am

Speaking as someone who was about to jump in, selecting Tom Petty but was beaten to it by Tonycc, I think that Tony wins.

After all, at the time Tony named him, Tom Petty was still breathing unaided. The criterion in these circumstances should be the time at which the attending doctors pronounce him dead. Presumably we will get a formal statement from the hospital and that will settle it.

Comment from Carl
Time: October 3, 2017, 9:43 am

Tom Petty’s manager gives the official time of death as 8:40 p.m. PT, which is well after Tonycc submitted his entry so I guess that’s it. Tony wins the Dick.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: October 3, 2017, 11:48 am

You’re doing the noble thing there Tony. While I’d be the first to pounce on an easy prey, I’m flying at Weasel Blog Time on Friday and I wouldn’t get my pick in. Maybe Stoaty will give you an atta-boy prize…

Comment from thefritz
Time: October 3, 2017, 11:49 am

Maybe I should be anonymous…that was me.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: October 3, 2017, 2:43 pm

Legally he was not dead until 8:40 pm, well after Tony picked him. So, Tonycc for the dick!

Comment from Drew458
Time: October 3, 2017, 5:50 pm

Having won two pools by getting in just under the wire, and lost another when the wire was extended for several months, I salute TonyCC for DQing himself. You sir are an honorable man.

Perhaps we ought to have a Rule -1, that all names submitted have to be normally alive for at least 48 hours after being entered in the pool. Better to be savants than vultures.

Comment from blake
Time: October 3, 2017, 9:09 pm

Tony Bennett

Comment from Pablo
Time: October 3, 2017, 9:11 pm

I’d suggest anyone thinking poorly of tonycc’s win should review Rule 3:

“Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.”

Congratulations on a fine piece of shameless opportunism! You’ve won yourself a dick, fair and square.

Comment from Davem123
Time: October 4, 2017, 1:51 am

I’m with Pablo. Tonycc picked a currently-living celebrity who then died. At the very least he should get a bonus dick. Maybe one of those 31 pigs that Stoaty denies are in the works.

Comment from Steve
Time: October 4, 2017, 5:10 pm

Tonycc is disclaiming his win. Everyone else is handing the win to him.

Will this be the first time in the Deathpool that a winner get’s a Dick forced down his…..

Sorry! I don’t think I like the way this post is shaping up

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: October 4, 2017, 5:26 pm

No where in the rules does it say one can decline to get dicked.

Tonycc, bend over!

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: October 4, 2017, 5:27 pm

Okay, we need a Congressional investigation of what Tonycc knew, and when he knewed it.

Tonycc you can expect a ruling sometime in 2019,


Comment from Tonycc
Time: October 4, 2017, 6:30 pm

All y’all are making me laugh. The words “noble” and “honorable” are showing up in a dead pool? This is a dead pool for crisakes!

OK, I’ll accept the Miracle Max rule in which almost dead is still a little alive and take that dick, just so we can move forward and get back to the purely irreverent happening that this is and rightfully should be. Just please don’t tell my wife.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 4, 2017, 6:39 pm

Yes, I declare the dick won. See you on Friday, y’all.

Comment from Sk.Y M-39
Time: October 6, 2017, 3:58 am

@veeshir Yup, saw it too late. sitting this one out and hoping it’s a quick clean dick for someone……

And Yes the Dick is done….

Comment from LesterIII
Time: October 6, 2017, 6:00 pm


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