sweasel.com

Note to fellow minions: Boris wasn’t really broadcasting in glorious black and white from 1947.

It just looks like that.

We now return you to our regular programming.

The Governor of the state here just decreed that everyone has to stay home but grocery stores, pharmacies, and gas stations will be open, so those people have to go to work, but everyone else has to stay home, but who would be shopping at those stores?

And you can’t have more than two people congregate in one place. How do you shop in the grocery if only two people can go in? Do the workers not count as ‘people?’

And if, we, the people, don’t obey the rules there will be fines, and perhaps arrests made.

Experts warn us that it is going to get worse, a lot worse. What would we do without experts?

We had to have the furnace fella stop by, still a bit cold here. Came with gloves and mask.

There’s a certain lack of humor here. No one even laughed when I put on my Renaissance costume and was pushing my wheelbarrow around yelling “Bring out yer dead!”

But seriously…this is so out of hand. Confusing mandates from government, skewed numbers from the health world, panic buying of everything. People who are sick are basically screwed. Those who aren’t are becoming antsy. Interesting times ahead. When and if they do finally lift the restraints, where are they gonna put everyone? I don’t see humanity crowding into trains, buses, airplanes, cinemas, pubs or restaurants ever again.

When WE have determined it is safe to do so, we will return you to your regularly scheduled lives.

Please remain calm until then, and co-operate with the authorities.

And remember, Coronavirus likes to lurk in dark places, so don’t be out after evening curfew begins.

Let’s try and make this as painless as possible and we’ll all get through it together, shall we?

But right now, please put this bag over your head, get in the van, and be quiet.

Sorry to cause you any inconvenience.
Thank you.

I can imagine this conversation…

Me: Being under house arrest is still being under arrest.

Cop: You’re not under house arrest or any kind of arrest.

Me: So I’m free to leave my house whenever I want to?

Cop: No, you have to be on an essential trip or errand.

Me: So, I have to tell you why I’m leaving my house and get your permission to do so?

Cop: Yes.

Me: What happens if I don’t get your permission and leave my house?

Cop: I will arrest you.

Me: So, I do have a choice. I can either be under house arrest, or go-to-jail arrest, right?

Cop: Obey me. Respect mah authoriteh.

I’m driving to pick up hatching eggs tommorow and nobody’s gonna stop me.

“But why do you rob grocery stores?”

“Because that’s where the toilet paper is.”

They’re freeing up space in the jails by early releasing actual criminals so they have room for the people who violate their,
pause,

omg, I sound like every guy from the early 70’s that I despised! OMG

Where was I? Right.

…freeing up space to make room for the people who violate their new experimental totalitarian fascist rules.

😛

I’ve been cooped-up since early January, only going out for doctors’ appointments, and I haven’t done that in a month. JavaMan has done all the shopping (and housekeeping) since I’ve been sick.

As long as I can order Kindle books I’m ok. Though I did pledge to re-read all my old favorites that I’ve collected for years, by authors Paul Gallico, Neville Shute Norway, and Elswyth Thane.

What are you all reading?

They just banned the sales of alcohol. The drinking kind, not the rubbing kind.

And this is going to get quite interesting once all of the liquor stashes in the neighborhood are used up …

What are you all reading?

Sweasel? 😛

You could read Kurt Schlicter’s stuff, but given the current environment maybe that’s a little closer to home than one would prefer.

But he’s on Kindle. Unfortunately a couple other ‘old’ authors I liked, Dean Ing for one, don’t seem to be available on Kindle. Or if they are, not the books I’d like to re-read.

It’s been my experience that Brits enjoy a good bollicking when it’s called for.

Our local supermarkets worked out a scheme wherein oldsters (65+) and folks at risk may shop from 6-9 AM Tues. & Thurs.

Today was the roll out and the stores were very crowded which was not what was intended. I hear tell the shelves were well stocked, including TP. Maybe people will calm the hell down now.

I’ve managed to book a Tuesday afternoon delivery slot for the next 6 weeks. We’ll see how many substitutions they make.

@Deborah Have you read Robin Sloan’s “Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore”? I’m currently reading his latest “Sourdough”.

Review at Twenty Percent True

Another I recently read is Boo Walker’s “Red Mountain: A Novel” Book 1 of 3.

I’m re-reading Ric Locke’s Temporary Duty (cover art by Stoaty Weasel!) and enjoying it thoroughly.

Sweasy did the art? Well now I has to read it!

As I sit here cooped up in the attic, with piles of food smuggled in
I read the Diary of Anne Frank, ballpointed by Meyer Levin.