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Dead Pool Round 130: Quarantine Edition

Gromulin picks a dick winner with Dame Vera Lynn. She died of being 103, I gather. All my nice old lady friends who remember the war are sad.

I have a pile of dicks on my desk waiting to go out. Honest. I haven’t been near a post office since March 20, but as soon as I can get these out, I’ll want help figuring out who’s still left out. I got myself in a tangle because not everyone sends me an address, some of those who don’t are previous winners and assume I still have it. I’m easily confused.

Never mind. We have THINGS TO DO:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:01 pm

Olivia de Havilland. I’m not gonna go political or criminal (forgive the repetition) this time because (a) there are too many juicy candidates, and (b) I am averse to pain and suffering: the pain of not winning the dick and suffering the continued satanic existence of my pick.

So I’m poaching the fine Olivia, not that I want anything bad to happen to her, like, y’know, dying and shit.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:01 pm

We’ve got some folks in prime demographic for DaPlague, some that really deserve to have the salmon mousse, and others that appear to have paid off Mr Reaper. I’m sticking with Norman Lloyd.

Comment from MrsMGunz
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:02 pm

Sen.Bob Dole

Comment from Carl
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:04 pm

Prince Phillip

Comment from p2
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:04 pm

Gonna stay with Henry Kissinger.

Comment from Sk.Y M-39
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:05 pm

George Soros C’mon, it’s time

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:19 pm

I do indeed REEAALLY REEEEAAAALLY miss that thumb thing!

So, instead: DIE, SOROS! DIE!

Comment from Davem123
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:27 pm

Nancy Pelosi.

I’ll still dance in the street if Shumer bites the big one, of course.

Comment from Ben
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:29 pm

William Shatner

New Celebrity Dead Pool and Project Binky on the same day…hooray!

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: June 19, 2020, 6:35 pm

Jimmy Carter, of no particular disease, just a general malaise

Comment from Gromulin
Time: June 19, 2020, 7:16 pm

If I’m on a roll…going with Sleepy Joe Biden. Sometime riiiight before the convention.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: June 19, 2020, 7:27 pm

Hillary Clinton, shortly after being named Biden’s VP pick.

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: June 19, 2020, 7:28 pm

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Comment from BJM
Time: June 19, 2020, 7:31 pm

There’s something really odd going on at The Firm. We recently saw Her Maj, the Greek is prolly a given, and Charles has all but disappeared (the bloke in the recent interview video was so not Charles). Are they all dead? However, I have a feeling the Duchess is going to be run over by the buss she’s throwing Kate under…so I’m picking Meghan Markle.

Comment from thefritz
Time: June 19, 2020, 7:52 pm

Roberta McCain

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:00 pm

Joey Biden. Talk about really making a mess of things.

Comment from RimrockR
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:05 pm

Chuck Yeager

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:15 pm

Raul Castro

Comment from spunkus
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:18 pm

Harry Reid

Comment from ea in ga
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:48 pm


Comment from JC cOLLINS
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:48 pm

Paul Ehrlich. Again.

Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:57 pm

Dick Van Dyke

Comment from currently
Time: June 19, 2020, 9:58 pm

Carl Reiner (Rob’s Dad)

Comment from Spad13
Time: June 19, 2020, 10:23 pm

Dan Rather

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: June 19, 2020, 11:10 pm

*sigh* I got up at 2am to pee, but forgot all about the dead pool. Oh, Ruthie. Next time, my sweet.

Okay, changing it up *again* and picking the President of the United States

Donald J. Trump

All of the bullshite from the loony left has got to be wearing on him. Plus he’s not looking too good lately.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: June 19, 2020, 11:51 pm

Since Ruthie is going to live forever, I’m going with Steven Breyer.

Comment from Mitch
Time: June 20, 2020, 1:53 am

I seem to recall winning a dick but not getting said dick. I probably assumed you still had mine. It was a long time ago though. Is there a statute of limitations on getting dicked?

Comment from RushBabe
Time: June 20, 2020, 1:56 am

Since Roberta McCain was nicked (lookin’ at you, thefritz), Bob Barker, come on down!

*shakes tiny fist of fury*

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: June 20, 2020, 3:52 am

John Glover Roberts Jr. inb hopes of getting a non-Leftist Chief Justice.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from dissent
Time: June 20, 2020, 4:38 am

I think I had Sidney Poitier in the last round.

I’ll stand pat with this pick.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: June 20, 2020, 10:47 am

Desmond Tutu

Comment from thefritz
Time: June 20, 2020, 12:26 pm

@RushBabe, I was late to the party and Olivia de Havilland got pinched by Uncle Al (a testament to her popularity!) so I stayed with the age odds went with the 108YO…

Comment from Eirik
Time: June 20, 2020, 5:54 pm

Clint Eastwood

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: June 20, 2020, 7:54 pm

Still working off my list. The die roll picks…

Michael Jackson.

No, this is not a Rule 0 violation.

Last year, I happened to watch the closing credits of the the 1964 movie Goodbye, Charlie. The listing included “Michael Jackson – Himself”. Could it have been the King of Pop? (But he was only six years old then.) I explored.

This Michael Jackson was an LA radio personality who had a national reputation in the 1960s, and continued to work into the 2000s (most recently as the voice of Alfred in Batman: The Dark Knight Returns; he was originally from Britain). He has a berth in the Radio Hall of Fame, a star in the Walk of Fame, and even an MBE, so he counts as a celebrity, yes?

The peculiarity of this choice tickles me.

Comment from The Neon Madman
Time: June 20, 2020, 9:07 pm

I’m going to stay with the longest of long shots, Mr. Keith Richards.

Comment from catnip
Time: June 21, 2020, 5:28 am

Beverly Cleary, writer

Comment from steve
Time: June 21, 2020, 12:11 pm

Betty White

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: June 21, 2020, 12:22 pm

Hugh Malcolm Downs (born February 14, 1921) is a retired American broadcaster, television host, news anchor, TV producer, author, game show host, and music composer, also marijuana advocate.

98 years old.

Comment from ama
Time: June 21, 2020, 2:15 pm

Rosalyn Carter, former first lady.

Comment from CharlieW
Time: June 21, 2020, 9:22 pm

Ghislaine Maxwell. Epstein’s madam with the secrets.

Comment from Ripley
Time: June 21, 2020, 9:59 pm

Sadly, Olivia Newton John.

Comment from Anthony Fauci
Time: June 21, 2020, 10:11 pm

I cannot believe not a one of you picked Nancy Pelosi…

Comment from BullDawgGirl
Time: June 22, 2020, 12:46 am

Bill Clinton

Comment from Mav
Time: June 22, 2020, 12:56 am

Rgb of course

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: June 22, 2020, 2:55 am

Sorry, Mav – weaselwannabe has already chosen Ruthie.

Comment from Yeezus H. Chris T on a Crakr
Time: June 22, 2020, 6:50 am

Emperor Akihito – Zero Defects

Comment from David Scot
Time: June 22, 2020, 6:57 am

Robert Redford. You seen that guy lately? Holy crap

Comment from Pupster
Time: June 22, 2020, 9:58 pm

Ann Margret

Comment from Mad Ivan
Time: June 23, 2020, 1:04 pm

@durnedyankee –

Mr. Biden been already picked by @Gromulin about an hour and a half before you. Guess again… ;-}

“But as for me and my house”, we’ll pick Ali Hoseini-KHAMENEI, the Supreme Leader of Iran

Comment from unkawill
Time: June 23, 2020, 3:17 pm

ed asner

Comment from Blake
Time: June 23, 2020, 7:46 pm

Mel Brooks

Comment from Conchi
Time: June 24, 2020, 6:01 pm

Lame Jane Fonda

Comment from steve
Time: June 30, 2020, 2:46 pm

Currently wins the dick with Carl Reiner.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: June 30, 2020, 2:56 pm

That was a quick one. Hopefully we do not have too many drop off the popular list during Limbo before new Dead Pool on Friday.

Congrats, Currently. You’re getting dicked sometime in the future.

Comment from ama
Time: June 30, 2020, 3:30 pm

well this pool went fast…

Comment from unkawill
Time: June 30, 2020, 8:16 pm

Damn, I was so hoping for Ed.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: July 2, 2020, 10:41 pm

Kirk Douglas, then his neighbor Carl Reiner. Now comes word Hugh Downs has slipped the coil at 99. RIP


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