sweasel.com

Omelet. Some assembly required.

There wasn’t a key and there was no-one there to ask. This make weasel mad!

And righteously so! How inconsiderate. If you’d had a felt tip marker you could’ve drawn a frownie face on each egg.

Except the quail eggs. On those you could’ve connected the dots!

The Hatter leaned close to the March Hare and in a whisper clearly loud enough for Weasel to hear said:

“If there had been a key she could have unlocked each egg and opened them up to see what critter was inside”.

“No doubt they were afraid an irresponsible person,” and here he pointedly paused to look at Weasel before he continued: “would forget to lock them back up again and the critters would escape!”

“I want a clean cup,” interrupted the March Hare, shoving the sleeping Dormouse: “Let’s all move one place on.”

Back in the early 2000’s there was a fad for raising emus for both meat and eggs. Both were actually quite good. The meat was lean and tasty and the eggshells were deep green, not smooth by any means and very thick, and in size the eggs were somewhere between a softball and an American football. You kind of felt sorry for the emu hens. The eggs themselves were very rich and one would make a breakfast omelette for the family.

Two of my fellow SGT’s decided to get involved in raising and selling them, which is how I was able to buy samples. The problem was that the emus are about the size of an ostrich, even more ill tempered, and can and do kick a long way with feet that have nasty claws. After coming in to work enough times looking like the felons had won, they decided that they did not want any more of the emu fad.

Subotai Bahadur

I tried raising Emus on my farm
One soon bit me on the arm
These birds could not fly and did not sell
But it turned out to be my good luck
That these bad birds really like to (something, something, anybody?)
So soon I lived in an Emu-filled Hell
And while Emu steaks are really nice meat
And I recommend one for a treat
I cannot say that I really care
If I ever see another Emu anywhere

Cluck?

What!

That was absolutely the first word that came to mind!