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Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo.


Weather forecasting is not very good in the UK. We’re spoiled in the US; our weather usually comes West to East across a big stable land-mass. Americans can see stuff coming a long way off. Britain is an island in the Atlantic; its weather is pushed around and bullied by a big, cold sea. Forecasts aren’t reliable even 24 hours out.

So when last night’s BBC forecast called for clear sun and very poor visibility, I thought it was either/or. Hedging their bets. How can those two things be? They can’t.

And then I woke up to the foghorn.

Our foghorn is not the BEEE-OHHHH of Warner Brother’s cartoons. Ours goes “moo” every little while, like an especially monotonous and retarded cow. It is not a romantic sound. It is a frankly very fucking annoying sound.

It was sunny and lovely for a while when I got up, then the fog dropped from above like ninja marshmallow. Just like that. One minute, I was emptying the dishwasher. The next, Uncle B was saying, “ummm…I don’t think we’re going anywhere today.”

Jesus, it can fog around here.

We went out anyway, but we didn’t get anything done that we meant to. So that’s okay.



Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 14, 2009, 8:14 pm

Farewell Patrick McGoohan! And Ricardo Montalban!

There’s a joke in there somewhere. Something about being a number, and rich Corinthian leather…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: January 14, 2009, 8:59 pm

There will be much sadness down in the sett tonight over the death of Patrick McGoohan.

Danger Man ( Secret Agent in the USA, for some reason) was essential viewing for this badger cub and The Prisoner was fabulous stuff – way ahead of its time in the late ’60s.

For those who care, McGoohan also played Dr Synn (the celebrated vicar of Dymchurch and arch-smuggler) in the Disney epic – a DVD release of which her Ladyship and I have been keenly awaiting for years and which finally crept out of the mouse’s vault, just in time to have received star billing at Badger House, this Christmas.

Almost the best bit of all was watching ol’ Walt sat at his desk, lying his pointy head off about the story. According to the MouseFather, ‘…the folk of Romney Marsh still tell tales of Dr Synn in the pubs of Southern Engelaaaaand’.

No they bloody well don’t, Walt. Thick as planks they may be, but even they know Dr Synn was invented in the 20th century! What’s more, they aren’t batshit crazy enough to have themselves deep-frozen in the vain hope that someone will set the microwave to defrost in around 2016, so they can cure the ingrowing arsehole, or whatever it was that killed them!

But I digress. (koff)

Farewell, No 6 – a free man, at last.

Comment from Machinist
Time: January 14, 2009, 9:19 pm

The original half hour program was called “Danger Man” here. It became “Secret Agent” and acquired the famous tune when it went to a full hour. I used to watch both.

Comment from Jill
Time: January 14, 2009, 10:36 pm

Dammit! Patrick McGoohan? Son of a bitch…and I was going to marry John Steed when I was a mere slip of a girl. >>sigh<<

Oh, and uh, moo.

Here’s a public service announcement to which you might want to pay attention: http://www.niebank.com/madcow.html

Comment from Machinist
Time: January 14, 2009, 10:40 pm

Steed was Patrick Macnee.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: January 14, 2009, 10:50 pm


THE fog comes
on little cow’s feet.

It sits looking
over the Badger House
on its beefy haunches
and then moos on.

Karl Sandberg

Comment from Jill
Time: January 14, 2009, 11:03 pm

Dammit, Machinist is right.

Never mind the kvetching.

Comment from Machinist
Time: January 14, 2009, 11:36 pm

But this should be good news. He is still alive!

There is hope!

Comment from TimB52
Time: January 15, 2009, 12:52 am

MooMoooooMoo… The powers that be on the Oregon coast decided that Moo is the perfect sound to warn people that…


Seriously! They have speakers on the poles on the beach that broadcast the sound of a herd of cows for a tsunami warning. I heard them testing it one day. Bunch of Moorons if you ask me.

Comment from steve
Time: January 15, 2009, 9:01 am

Fog = Low Flying Clouds

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: January 15, 2009, 12:22 pm

Forecast low clouds, heavy fog with a chance of pirates.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: January 15, 2009, 1:48 pm

Many years ago Larry Niven wrote the short story “For a Foggy Night”. In that story fog is really a blurring of the veils that separate alternate realities. When you go out into a thick fog you run the very real risk of wandering into those alternate realities.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 15, 2009, 8:20 pm

Eh, I live in Oregon: we don’t know what the weather is going to be like in 6 hours, let alone 24. It’s a crap shot here.

And yeah, Patrick McGoohan and Ricardo Montelban both dying is doubly sad. Montelban never really got the respect or acting jobs he was capable of.

Comment from nicole
Time: January 16, 2009, 11:26 am

Fog is one of my favorite evah weather conditions. I love walking in it. Sadly, it doesn’t happen too often that is is pea-soup thick around here.

Comment from highpockets
Time: January 17, 2009, 4:43 am

like an especially monotonous and retarded cow

I spent nearly an hour today chasing three bovine escapees, from the corn field, back into the field of corn.

Every cow is retarded.

Comment from Dawn
Time: January 21, 2009, 3:01 pm

I haven’t been here in a week, but I LOL’d so much after reading this my tot thought I was crying.

Monotonous retarded cows and ninja marshmallows. Classic!

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