web analytics

Woke-o Ono

Blatant ripoff. I saw someone post an image like this to Twitter yesterday and wished I’d thought of it. I was gonna post his image, but I looked and looked and couldn’t find it. Honest.

Anyway, neither one of us came up with Woke-o Ono. I don’t know who coined that.

As an American living in Sussex, you can imagine how delightful this episode has been for me. Common consensus: she’s a wrong’un and they should be stripped of their titles.

You and I, we don’t have to worry about such things. Good weekend, all!

January 10, 2020 — 9:00 pm
Comments: 10

This is seriously an argument that rages

What goes first on a scone, the jam or the clotted cream? Honest to god, the arguments.

If you’ve not had clotted cream (I hadn’t before I moved here), it’s heavy cream that is cultured until it’s thick and gooey, with a yellow crust on top. It’s gorgeous. But it obviously has to go on first, because considerable force is used. If the jam went first, it would squish out everywhere.

I say first, but they also serve it with pat of butter, and that goes on FIRST first. Argument raging here.

Changing the subject, I stood chatting with someone outside my place of work today and something thumped off the back of my head. It was a glob of moss. Thrown by a pigeon.

Then he did it twice more.

I had a poke around the web and it seems lots of bird pluck moss off rooftiles, presumably to get at the delicious bugs underneath. I didn’t learn why a belligerent sky rat would fling them at people, but I did learn you can run a copper wire down the peak of the roof and rainwater makes a gentle trickle of moss-spore-killing copper sulphate.

Neat. Except I like mosses.

January 7, 2020 — 8:56 pm
Comments: 11

Jolly Olde

Uncle B ventured out for some weekend supplies. He sent me these labels from the posh local grocery. If you can’t quite make it out, it’s £77 and £97 for a turkey crown [that’s a breast to you and me], and £87 for a goose (according to my currency converter, that’s $100.211, $126.239 and $113.221 in today’s money). No, ours didn’t cost nearly that much and we got a whole fancy bird.

Still no joy on the new cat front. The worst are the people who leave their ads in after they’ve sold the cat and then don’t get back to you when you contact them. Feh. People. ‘Swhy I prefer cats.

In the thread before this one, Drew458 asked if we were getting the rain that the BBC is blathering about. We’re personally not flooded, but there’s flooding around us in Sussex. The ditch at the side of our driveway is worrying and the fields are standing in water.

But IFITDOESN’TSTOPRAININGISHALLKILLSOMETHING. I mean it. I’m losing my mind. In the past three months, I can literally only remember ONE day that it didn’t rain, and that was last Wednesday. And it’s desperately dark all the time.

The worst is the chickens. They’re wet and muddy and miserable and no matter how often I shovel out their various houses and enclosures, it’s all wet again next day. If I don’t keep mucking it out and replacing it somebody’s going to get sick. The ground around them wobbles like jelly and is slick as snot, and I’ve got some kind of rat taking advantage of the soft earth and tunnelling in to get leftover food.

BUT! BUT! We’ve bought all our everything, the fridge is full, the tree is lovely, there’s a bottle of cheap champagne cooling and I am now off work for the next two weeks! So a very merry weekend to all of you, and I’ll see you again on Christmas Eve eve.

December 20, 2019 — 8:34 pm
Comments: 18

Christmas came early

Please. Stop. I can only take so much schadenfreude. Twitter has been a delight today. (Above is antifa, flailing their little noodly arms at London police tonight).

Turns out, this was Labour’s worst showing in an election since 1935.

But my favorite story was the LibDems. They were the only party that ran specifically on the slogan “Stop Brexit” and were poised to pick up all the Remain voters who were disenchanted with Labour’s waffling on the issue. At one point, it looked like this election could really revive their brand.

Two things happened. First, even a lot of Remain voters had second thoughts about totally ignoring a democratic vote.

And second, their leader, Jo Swinson, did the talkshow circuit in the runup to the election. She stubbornly and repeatedly insisted that there was simply no reliable way to tell human males and females apart.

Turns out, her party took very large money from a company that makes puberty blockers. This enraged the feminists who might otherwise have voted LibDem. She ended up losing her own seat by 149 votes.

But the best moment in the election was Diane Abbott’s shoes.

December 13, 2019 — 9:56 pm
Comments: 18

Spotted on the road

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, you remember the name. On the other, Googling it is fraught and you’d surely lose the prude custom.

Not my pic. I saw the van twice today and didn’t have a camera ready either time. It’s from their Facebook page.

If you think it’s a Brit humor thing, there’s also one in Louisville, Kentucky.

Not to be outdone, there is Cold, Hard Nipples Air Conditioning in Nicosia, Cyprus.

Kentucky and Cyprus have more of a need for this kind of thing, obvsly.

December 2, 2019 — 8:40 pm
Comments: 10

Tonight, we switch

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in a 400 year old house, it is cold. And damp. I mean, it’s awesome, but there’s not much we’re allowed to do to keep the drafts out.

Fortunately, this is not a very cold country. Damp, yes, but it stays above freezing most of the time. It has been in the forties at night so far and we have been perfectly warm with wood fires. See above, our Thanksgiving night fire.

Tonight, it drops down near freezing and we’ve switched to coal. Well, not really coal: solid fuel. Which has coal in it, usually. It’s like charcoal briquets. This kicks out a lot more heat, but I don’t think it’s quite as pretty. It certainly doesn’t smell as nice.

Hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. We did. And I took today off.

November 29, 2019 — 9:54 pm
Comments: 17

No, really…what’s it called?

Hairy Nuts Disco. Honestly, this fungus is called Hairy Nuts Disco. It’s a disc-shaped wee beastie that grows mostly happily on the hairy fibers of last year’s chestnut husks. So. Hairy Nuts Disco.

My local Twitter feed is lousy with fungus at the moment.

Why, yes, it rained again today. Why do you ask?

November 27, 2019 — 8:36 pm
Comments: 8

Says it all, really

Not even my picture. I stole it off Twitter. You can steal stuff off Twitter, yes?

Another day of drizzle. I cannot remember a dry day, literally, in two months. (Reminder: I bike to work).I AM SO TIRED OF BEING WET.

An all around shit Monday, really. Please join me in dropping trou and showing backside at the end of this day.

Not literally, though. You’ll get a wet backside.

November 25, 2019 — 9:47 pm
Comments: 5

Ending the week on a cat

A giant fiberglass cat. I mean, this thing is LARGE. I tried to find dimensions, without luck (I admit, I didn’t try that hard). It’s balanced on top of a shopping center sign in a place called Catford.

Heh. It’s an area of southeast London, probably originally ‘cattle ford’ as there’s a river there. The shopping center that built it in 1974 is long since gone and a succession of different stores moved in under it. They made noises about tearing it down a few years ago, but the locals went nuts and got up a petition.

If you want to know more — and why would you? — Google the Catford Cat. Have a wunnerful weekend!

November 22, 2019 — 9:40 pm
Comments: 6

Hmmm…

It’s the peak of the Orionid meteor showers tonight, and Stonehenge invites you to watch with their new skycam. It’s supposedly a live shot, and yes you can use your mouse to pan around 360° and even zoom to an extent.

I say ‘supposedly’ though, because it looks strange to me. No birds or planes or anything, and no cars (Stonehenge has got very busy roads on either side of it). Also, according to the satellite weather, it’s cloudy over Salisbury Plain at the moment.

English Heritage wouldn’t just lie to my face, would they?

No, I haven’t seen any meteorites. If I watch too long, the way the camera insists on sloooowly moving by itself makes me feel a little icky.

November 21, 2019 — 8:43 pm
Comments: 6