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Another choice bit of British real estate goes on the market

For a mere £925,000 English pounds, you can own Willy House.

No, that’s not its official name, but I didn’t make it up, either. Schoolchildren did, it says here.

It looks like a perfectly nice 17th Century house of some size. Five bedrooms, stable block, separate one-bedroom cottage.

But it is all rather overshadowed by the topiary. The shrubs are at least a couple hundred years old, though nobody knows how long they’ve been carved into giant tallywhackers. It predates the current owner, who’s lived there for 20 years.

It isn’t on the estate agent’s site, for some reason. Looking around, somebody paid £279,000 for this (guide price £60,000 – £70,000). That will be a property developer. Say farewell to Potato Cottage.

Bastards.

October 14, 2021 — 4:45 pm
Comments: 5

Body Part Heist

This lady rents out mannequins for a living. When she first advertized mannequins for rent, she didn’t actually own any. But calls began to come in immediately, so she ran out and got some.

No, I don’t get it, either.

Eventually, she amassed so many mannequins, she threw the excess in a heap in the yard. ‘Yard’ here is an industrial space, FYI. Like a junkyard.

She still rents them, but she also sells them in bulk. For £50, a customer can drive up and fill the trunk of his car with as many mannequin bit as he likes. She calls it the “Body Part Heist.”

This is in Lincolnshire, which is over 100 miles away.

To be clear, I don’t mean, “over 100 miles away, which sadly is too far for me to drive for a trunkful of fiberglass body parts.” I mean, “over 100 miles away, which is not enough clear space between me and that creepy pile of anthropomorphic plastic.”

I’m not sure why they didn’t run that story closer to Halloween. Good weekend, everyone!

October 8, 2021 — 5:53 pm
Comments: 11

It looks a wreck, to be honest

Behold, Poohsticks Bridge. Or a replica. It’s really hard to tell from the article which is the original and which is the later reproduction built on the same spot for tourists with the help of Disney. And I get the impression both of them have had continual repairs.

This is the bridge where A.A. Milne played Poohsticks with his son, which inspired the first Pooh book. The game of Poohsticks is where you drop something (or two somethings) in the water and observe them coming out the other side. I guess. I was never a fan.

Anyway! The original bridge (I think) is up for auction, guide price £40,000 – £60,000. “Being offered in situ in East Sussex. Viewing strictly by appointment”

So, you also get the land? Or you get a disassembled bridge and you have reassemble it somewhere else? Or you’re bidding on the privilege of owning the touristy one? It’s all very confusing.

Whatever. I found the rest of the auction catalogue more interesting.

September 30, 2021 — 6:06 pm
Comments: 4

Well, that’s horrible

Well, that’s. Hm. Really ugly.

According to the auction listing, it was made in Sussex in the Thirties, not licensed by Disney, and was therefore subject to a vicious patent dispute. Hence, they are rare (£80 – £120 kind of rare).

Where have I seen this nightmare-inducing figure before? Oh, yeah. My blog.

August 31, 2021 — 7:23 pm
Comments: 3

Beautiful fake

This is supposedly the most-viewed house in Sussex at the moment and it can be yours for £1M. It is part of the old Tudor Close Hotel and it was the inspiration for the board game Clue (Cluedo in its native Britain).

The hotel was a popular stop for Hollywood celebs in the Thirties. Management often hired actors and put on elaborate murder mysteries to entertain guests. Anthony Pratt hosted one, and then went on to develop Cluedo. Seems a bit of a cheat, really.

The setting is actually still called Tudor Mansion in the game. The house is a fake, kind of. It was built in the Twenties but with original materials – old ship’s beams, Tudor fireplaces. So an authentic fake, I guess.

There is a lot of that kind of architecture around and it really should have its own name. What do I know? It probably does.

Have I played Clue? I so. Is that the one with “Colonel Mustard, in the library, with a candlestick”?

You can get it on Steam now, if you’re so inclined.

August 11, 2021 — 8:45 pm
Comments: 6

I couldn’t resist…

The lamb from yesterday’s adventure. There aren’t many speckled flocks around. Incidentally, the lambing starts in earnest in about three weeks. Spring is coming!

I had some elderly bananas hanging around, so I have just made banana bread. This is one of those American foods that confuses Brits. For one thing, it’s clearly a cake, not a bread. They have banana cake here, but it’s light and fluffy not heavy and dense. At least, all my banana bread recipes are heavy and dense. And very rich.

I think they’re just being polite when they compliment it. They’re embarrassed for me and my inability to bake a light cake. If I called it a ‘heavy banana loaf’ or something, I bet it would go over better.

They have a thing called Soreen, which is denser even than banana bread, so it’s not outside the realm of British foods. There’s even a banana flavored Soreen.

It’s all in the marketing.

I would like British bacon 100% more if they relinquished the holy name of bacon and called it ‘chewy pork slices’ instead.

March 4, 2020 — 8:15 pm
Comments: 13

Silly Nordics…

This was promoted in my Twitter tonight (for those non-Twittererers, a promoted tweet is a paid advertisement). Yes, Nordic Cuddle is real (and worth a visit for gawking purposes). The CEO even has a TEDx talk on the virtues of cuddling.

And she looks Nordic.

Now, I’m not saying this is prostitution. I’m saying 100% of the men who book a cuddle at home will do so believing it’s prostitution. How they safeguard these poor women I can’t imagine.

Unless it is just prostitution.

Flu update: hey, remember I told you I knew someone local in quarantine? She came to see me at work today. She’d done her 14 days. Fourteen days is ten days too little.

February 25, 2020 — 8:29 pm
Comments: 9

Cozy

The little one likes fire. Yes, he does. Here he is big and in color.

He also likes laps and annoying the hell out of big cat. They’ve been running back and forth like a Tom and Jerry cartoon all week. A little hissing and biting, but well within the appropriate bounds of brotherly bant.

Speaking of fire, the conservative(!) government has today announced a ban on the burning of coal and wet wood in households. There are rural people this will very much affect.

Not us. We gave up actual coal for solid fuel — they’re like charcoal briquets — but that ain’t the point. As Uncle B likes to grumble, the Greens never get more than 3% of the vote here, but all their policies get enacted anyway.

I don’t know what they’re putting up their noses if they think we can get rid of non-electric cars in 15 years, but there you go.

Have a lovely weekend, everyone!

February 21, 2020 — 8:59 pm
Comments: 11

Pff!

They billed Ciara as the ‘storm of the century’. Dude. I’m not even sure it was the storm of the last six months (we had some nasties in September).

We had high winds, sure. But — at least where we are — not far out of the ordinary, and not much rain. We didn’t even lose power.

The seas were high and I gather there was flooding in places that got more rain. Hence the picture. Not mine. Don’t know whose it is. It was the most stolen Tweet on Twitter yesterday.

Now, the Coronavirus? Doubled our cases overnight to eight, all due to one ‘super spreader’ who came from a conference in Singapore and infected a group of people in France, too. Brighton clinic on lockdown. Yes, that’s in our general area.

Wot fun!

February 10, 2020 — 9:06 pm
Comments: 6

Happy Brexit Day, errbody!

 

 

 

This is a bottle of proper British sparkling wine. The vinyard isn’t far from us. Like many of the best English wines, it’s been winning international blind taste tests, which really pisses off the French. So, perfect.

It’s going to take a year at least to work out various trade and travel agreements with Europe, and everyone assumes Boris will sell us down the river in the end. He’s very much a member of the ruling class, after all, and probably a Remainer in his secret heart.

Nonetheless, it is a Very Big Day, Not To Be Ignored.

I think I managed to dissuade Uncle B from setting off a rocket at 11 (midnight in Germany, the official Brexit). He wanted to aim it over the house of our neighbor who took to her bed for a week after the results of the referendum were announced.

Geez, dude, she’s insufferable enough as it is!

Oh, and we got our first two confirmed Coronavirus cases today.Have a good weekend, everyone.
 

 

 

 

 

January 31, 2020 — 6:36 pm
Comments: 15