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Eating rodents, eating

harvest loaf

The thing above is a harvest loaf. You find them in shops this time of year. Britons serve them at their…naked Gaia-invoking rituals, or whatever damn pagan thing they get up to at harvest time.

chewed soap

Anyhow, the traditional harvest loaf always has a little mouse baked into it.

Meanwhile, the Rat of Badger House has developed a taste for hand soap. Two new bars have vanished from the dish by the kitchen sink in the last week. And I mean vanished — not a trace. That’s got to be a major rodent, right there.

Then this gnawed lump appeared on the pantry shelf. Complete with gnawed wrapper, so it isn’t one of the missing kitchen bars.

I’ve switched to Pear’s (love that herb-y smell!) which seems to have put him off. So far.

What mystifies me is — no piles of waxy rat poops have turned up.




Comment from Beyond Bibb’s Store
Time: October 27, 2009, 5:32 pm

That’s one fer real rodent ya’ll have there. Maybe he’s housebroken. Check the cat box?

Comment from Pupster
Time: October 27, 2009, 5:33 pm

Sooo…who is doing the cookin’ at Badger Manor?

Has Uncle’s breath smelled extra clean lately?

Comment from BuckNutty
Time: October 27, 2009, 6:45 pm

He’s using the soap to build a bomb – get out of the house now!

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: October 27, 2009, 7:05 pm

Liquid soap?

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 27, 2009, 7:28 pm

Don’t think even liquid soap would defeat this bastard, Mrs Compton.

A while ago he ate an entire jar of peanut butter. And I do mean a jar . It was plastic, but even so…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 27, 2009, 7:35 pm

It was when we were up in London. We know he did it because he left a little new moon sliver of the plastic tub.

He also ate through the lid of a jar of Nutella and licked the glass clean as a whistle.

Oh, Pups — Uncle B always farts soap bubbles!

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: October 27, 2009, 7:42 pm

Maybe it’s not a rodent? I bet it’s a tiger or something. 🙂 I was gonna say Manchelle but I haven’t heard that she’s taken a private plane anywhere this week….. yet.

Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: October 27, 2009, 9:25 pm

Mmm…peanut butter and soap.

I’m a complete coward when it comes to vermin. If I ever saw a rat I’d probably have a mental breakdown and end up in an asylum repeating “no rats” over and over

Comment from scubafreak
Time: October 27, 2009, 9:53 pm

You know, that loaf looks alot like a petrified horney toad…

Stoatie. Try laying out some beer for das rat tonight. Since they can’t belch or fart, the carbonation should take care of your problem…

Or maybe some peanut butter and alka seltzer….

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: October 27, 2009, 10:28 pm

Great. A rat that just holds up his leg with the trap on it, sayin “the fuck is this shit?”

You’ll be lucky to escape with your lives.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: October 27, 2009, 10:39 pm

A whole jar of peanut butter and two bars of soap!?

I say start charging him rent.

Comment from Bob
Time: October 28, 2009, 11:51 am

Don’t they sell D-con in Great Britan?

Comment from Shifty1
Time: October 28, 2009, 12:03 pm

I thought the loaf looks like a half-submerged alligator…

Comment from Will
Time: October 28, 2009, 1:40 pm

Little bugger’s just brushing his teeth. You’ve probably got the most hygienic rat in the country.

Comment from JJC
Time: October 28, 2009, 1:45 pm

O/T but can’t resist. Whiny obama baby is being referenced on Twitter by Right Wing Sparkle: “RWSparkle This is just nothing but funny http://tinyurl.com/ygrlohq (It’s on my facebook page)” – I clicked the link, and there he is, in all his diapered glory!

Tee shirt! Tee shirt! Tee shirt!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 28, 2009, 4:16 pm

Big Baby is problematical, JJC. Because a) the original image is small and b) it’s a picture of somebody’s baby I snagged off the internet. Perhaps I could solicit baby pictures…

I’m iffy about poison, Bob, though we might end up going that route. When I was a kid, I vividly remember watching my stepfather beat a sick rat to death with a belt. The D-Con made it feel just woozy enough to come into the livingroom and stagger around. And Uncle B had a poisoned mouse hole up in his house in London and stink like fuck.

They say stuff goes outside to die, but it doesn’t always make it.

Plus, I’d hate for any of the local wildlife to get hold of a poisoned rodent.

Comment from cube
Time: October 28, 2009, 4:39 pm

Get a cat. A big effing cat. Problem solved.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 28, 2009, 4:47 pm

Got one. She’s got a bodycount, but she hasn’t gotten this one.

And that thing about them smelling cat and running off? Pff!

Comment from steve
Time: October 28, 2009, 4:56 pm

So…let me see if I have this straight….

All I have to do to “build the better mouse trap”….so that, much the same as day follows night, “the world will beat a path to my door” (and having recently checked….my current door path could probably do with a fresh beating)….

…Anyway….so all I have to do is concoct a new soap recipe NOW WITH 15% MORE STRYCHNINE?

Heck, I could probably number the master of Badger House among the vast horde of path beaters on their way to my door…Cases of the stuff will virtually fly off the shelves…

I suppose I would have to beef up the product warning label a bit…ensuring that some poor, misfortunate urchins don’t inadverently become painfully asphyxiated upon having their potty mouths liberally washed out with this wonderfully versatile new soap product….

But, after all…isn’t that a really problem for the lawyers, anyway?

And on a separate note…

I have a suspicion that an awful lot of the people I know will be receiving their very own “Teh Awsome Nobel Peace Prize” in their Christmas stockings this year….(As Seen On Zazzle)

Could you work on making those things into handy drink coasters, as well….I have a suspicion that lots and lots of them might be seen at teh more fashionable cocktail parties, were they broadly available

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 28, 2009, 5:31 pm

Uh Oh. Looks like we have a new health warning on the effects of beer….


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 28, 2009, 5:44 pm

You will note that the Nobel comes in the form of buttons or stickers (I’m having a hell of a time getting Zazzle to arrange products the way I want). Coasters! I hadn’t thought of that.

<wanders off to stare at Zazzle>

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: October 28, 2009, 9:20 pm

Lived on a farm for a number of years as a young’un. Farm had a big barn, formerly used for milk cows (thus having several grain bins and a hayloft), and a medium-large corncrib. Barn and corncrib both were home to field mice and rats. When rodents began to be serious problem (we started storing corn in both, feed for chickens, a couple of pigs and a goat), consulted other farm-dwelling relatives.

Approved solution: Mixture of half-and-half cornmeal (coarse-ground) and dry patching plaster or plaster-of-paris powder. Clogs up their plumbing – and they go looking for water, which makes it worse.

Not nice, maybe…but it works.

Peanut-butter or bacon-grease baited traps work, too – but you’ve got to keep them away from the cat.

Based on consumption level and visible marks on that soap, you’ve probably got a good-sized brown rat – or maybe two or three.

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: October 28, 2009, 11:10 pm

>> They say stuff goes outside to die, but it doesn’t always make it.

They find the most convenient, safey place to hole up. And die. And stink.

I don’t recommend.

Comment from lauraw
Time: October 28, 2009, 11:58 pm

I’ve heard of a variation of the plaster trick above, but with portland cement mixed into the feed.
Same thing, but I imagine a lot more caustic, painful, and quick.

Hubby uses hav-a-hart traps on the voles outdoors. And then he tucks the trap into a bucket and drowns them.

We used to catch them in the garage by setting a plastic trash can in there with one square of chocolate in the bottom. Set some cardboard cartons up the sides so they can get up to the top of the can. They leap in, but they can’t leap or climb out.

I took care of them with the point of a shovel the next morning.

Comment from steve
Time: October 29, 2009, 7:58 am

The best “better mousetrap” I ever saw was at a boat building shop, up in Maine…

They had several 5 gallon buckets, here and there, with anti freeze in them….(as a preservative)(and a poison).

They engineered a pivot, across the open mouth of the bucket, with a little cup in the center, baited with peanut butter.

When the little rodent crawled out onto the pivot, and up onto the little cup to enjoy his (or her) meal….the eccentric load flipped the pivot updide down, plopping the little mousie into the anti-freeze/poison/drowning medium.

Upon the mousie dropping off the pivot….the cup flipped back, upside right, and the trap “reset itself”.

About one every week or two, they detailed a guy to walk around scooping the pickled mousies out of the buckets for disposal…

I suppose it is all about the relative cost of plaster of paris as measured against the cost of anti freeze….

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 29, 2009, 8:23 am

Bastard got up on the drainboard and ate part of a cherry cake last night. With pussoe sleeping in the next room.

What mystifies me is, this joker isn’t leaving any poops behind. Poops are how I always told how big a thing to look for.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: October 29, 2009, 8:31 am

Must admit, the poison route is looking inevitable but having endured rotting rodent once, I’m not keen on living with it again – especially as last time it was just a mouse that was slowly decomposing.

A rat could… seriously stink-up the place.

Comment from Malcolm Kirkpatrick
Time: October 29, 2009, 2:17 pm

35 years ago, I had a problem with a mouse. I dissolved 300 micrograms of windowpane acid in a couple of drops of water, mixed it with a couple of drops of honey, and put it in a bottle cap, which I placed next to the cereal box. Next morning the bottle cap was clean. I never saw sign of that mouse again. He’s probably exploring the outer reaches of the solar system by now.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: October 30, 2009, 2:08 am

“…this joker isn’t leaving any poops behind.”


Kinda nice that it seems to be housebroken – saves cleaning up those lil’ dropping-thingies. OTOH, as you pointed out, it makes judging the size of the bugger difficult…

Mice can get into any place that has an opening big enough for their head – and that can be amazingly small; I once inadvertently trapped one of the wee beasties inside a nearly-empty glass beer bottle, when he managed to squeeze down through the bottleneck in pursuit of the bit of stale beer remaining. Didn’t find him until several days after he croaked, when he began to become odorous.

RATS, OTOH, are substantially bigger, and are thereby somewhat more limited in ability to access areas where they wish to go in pursuit of food.

Either way, the absence of droppings is unusual, to say the least…

Mayhap you’ve got yourself not one, but several wee mousies, small enough that the droppings are quite small and few in number?

Comment from steve
Time: October 30, 2009, 9:18 am

Coprophageous mousies, perhaps?

Comment from athrillofhope
Time: October 30, 2009, 1:46 pm

Hey, someone made “Congress MeatLoaf!” 🙂

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