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ROUND TWELVE: a dozen people died for this!

Finally, a winner! After five months, Liz Taylor has won her last dick (congratulations, harbqll). I never liked Liz, but I read Camille Paglia‘s take and changed my mind a little (Paglia is a lefty nutcase, but I have a sneaking fondness for her exuberance).

Right! The roolz:

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of.

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The fabulous prize? Sweasel dot com’s unofficial sponsor, Aunty’s Spotted Dick! Mmmmm…it’s dickalicious!


Comment from Janna
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:03 pm

Zsa Zsa. For the win!

Comment from Lipstick
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:03 pm

Zsa Zsa.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:15 pm

Dick Cheney…..is he a ‘celebrity’?

Comment from steve
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:20 pm

I was going to pick Delores Hope – 101!

Because nobody lives forever!

And as soon as I hit “Post” I reconsidered…

I think I will take Moamar Khadaffi….in the safe house….with a precision guided munition….up the old pooper….

Comment from Lipstick
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:26 pm

Janna, “nice” job changing your original entry after I chose Zsa Zsa first. The dick prize will be appropriate.

Comment from Mumbles
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:27 pm

Decisions, decisions. I’m sticking with the odious John Dingell, D(unce), Michigan, for his “It takes time to control the people” comment.

Comment from Janna
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:32 pm

Sorry about that, Lipstick! I’ll take Jimmah Carter. The ol’ anti-semite has to go to his just reward sometime.

Comment from Lipstick
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:35 pm

Janna, sorry to be so prickly.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:36 pm

Bashar Al-Assad. And if I need to call my pocket, it’ll be of lead poisoning.

Comment from Mono The Elderish
Time: March 25, 2011, 6:55 pm

Ruby Muhammad, one of these days…..

Comment from TimB52
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:01 pm

I’ll go with Mr Kadaffy

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:01 pm

Kirk Douglas.

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:06 pm

Hi, I’m new here but a long time lurker-stalker.

I follow anybody who used to give demos on paint or graphics systems at siggraph or similar events back in the 80’s.

Since starving artists obsess, one of my hallucinatory dreams recently revolved around McHale’s Navy.

I choose Ernest Borgnine for the icy tap.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:37 pm

Ed Asner, I wanted Kirk Douglas…. oh well.

Comment from Mitchell
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:47 pm

Fidel Castro. Come on you evil old bastard, kick off already!

Comment from Andy
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:51 pm

Jimmah Carter, FTW

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 7:53 pm

Holy shit, Uncle Monkey! Did I mention that, or do you remember me?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:03 pm

Jimmah got took, Andy. You have to be quick if you want ol’ Jimmah.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:13 pm

As ever, more in hope than expectation, that vile, shambling heap of phlebitis and puritanical sanctimony, J. Gordon Brown.

Comment from J Foster
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:20 pm

Betty White. Bet she chokes on something. Do I get bonus dick if I guess the mode of departure correctly?

Comment from steve
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:23 pm

@ TimB52….

Sorry to say, Tim, but I beat you to him by 40 minutes…..

I probably am a much worse speller than you are, but that’s the guy I picked, anyway….

Comment from jwpaine
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:26 pm

Dicklicious? Why, what a coinkydink!*

* Ladies: your mileage may vary.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:29 pm

Oh, and I pick Rachel Maddow. In the study. With the candlestick. Why? Because I like betting long-shots. And I enjoy wishful thinking.

Comment from Elphaba
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:37 pm

I can’t believe nobody has picked Joan Collins. So I guess that I will. 🙂

Comment from The Dread Pirate Shaved Beard
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:44 pm

Hmm, someone fat & drug-addled . . . Michael Moore!

Comment from Oldcat
Time: March 25, 2011, 8:50 pm

Charlie Sheen.

Live fast and die young seems to be his motto.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:00 pm

Mubarak – he’s down, but not QUITE out yet

Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:02 pm

Haven’t seen ol’ Larry Eagleburger on the tube in a while. I’ll take him, though my choice is surely influenced by the recent passing of Warren Christopher.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:05 pm

Yikes! That kid from the Final Sacrifice grew up to look exactly like that kid from the Final Sacrifice.

You Misties will remember the Final Sacrifice as that “Rowsdower, Rowsedower, bippity boppity bowse-dower” movie.

Comment from tawny
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:17 pm

I’m probably going to regret this but I’m planning to wait a while now that Zsa Zsa’s been taken, I shall hover vulture style over the celeb news pages and swoop in at the first sign of trouble.

Comment from Shawn, but not lowercased shawn
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:20 pm

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s that my pick, Andy Rooney, is still alive and kicking.

Now don’t get me wrong. At first, you liked Andy Rooney. He was portable, the crotchedy-old-man-shtick was charming, and, frankly, that office of his is pretty neat.

But as time went on, the over-wrought liberal thing got to you, and he’s worse and worse as time went on. So you kept him in the junk drawer of your mind, next to the melon baller, your collection of old thumbtacks, and the wooden ladles. I have a collection of these, I can’t stand to get rid of them.

Comment from Cobrakai99
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:22 pm

Hugo Chavez. Some day that parrot is going to kill him.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:56 pm

I’m thinking, I’m thinking!

Comment from Allen
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:57 pm

King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.

Then watch the poop hit the propellor.

Comment from Mike C.
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:01 pm

I like sticking with losers, so I’ll rack out my old favorite – Charles Johnson of LGF “fame.”

C’mon, Chaz – do us all a favor, eh?

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:22 pm

I was thinking Karl Malden
Dont leave home without him

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:25 pm

Don’t know why the spam filter nicked that on, gulliblepratt. Sorry.

There’s a place just outside London called Pratt’s Bottom. I always wanted to stop there for tea. For the bragging rights.

Comment from Nina’s nina
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:28 pm

nancy pelosi. I’m sure that accidents can happen… especially if someone cuts the brake line… jus sayin… not that *I’d* condone such behavior but, um, yeah… gonna stop right there.


Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:37 pm

Dick Clark

All those botox injections just gotta leak into his cranial cavity at some point and off the mummified fook.

Comment from Grizzly
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:41 pm

Since no one’s got him yet, I’m gonna pick Harry Morgan again. It’s easier than thinking about it too much. 🙂

Comment from Armybrat
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:44 pm

Muhamad Ali….dude’s Parkinsonism has got to get the better of him sooner or later.

Comment from Spad13
Time: March 25, 2011, 10:53 pm

Keith Richards.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:01 pm


Curses! This might be a short one, folks. 🙂

Comment from hemmersheim
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:03 pm

here’s to losing the dick…….

Clint Eastwood…….

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:05 pm

I don’t know, Nina. We’ve been counting her out for a year. I think that broad is made of adamantium.

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:33 pm

@S. Weasel

You have mentioned it (haven’t you?) – however if you demo’d anything in the way of a paint system from 1982 to 1990something I probably talked to you. I did stuff for Genegraphics and then Slidetek (genegraphics rip-off) in the beginning.

Barco tan.

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:37 pm

@ hemmersheim

Clint Eastwood?

I just saw him not 2 months ago. The guy looks fantastic.
My mother lives in Carmel CA, so I visit frequently. He owns a few things down there, one restaurant of his he frequents the bar on weeknights. You’d never guess he was that old.

Maybe if he gets hit by a car…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:38 pm

I remember them, Uncle Monkey! I didn’t actually work the show. I was in a promotional film for Autographix that ran on a loop at the AGX booth. We were early customers. When my boss and I turned up at the show, an AGX guy recognized us, ran up all excited, took my hand and led me to the booth to see the film.

My boss called me Queen of the Geeks ever after.

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:50 pm

S.Weasel – Oh, lucky you. I worked the shows because I could fool people into thinking the crap worked! I HATED talking to the public. But, I helped develop the software and did illustrations and could work my way around bugs.

One year I started a buzz because I did an illustration that people thought was ray-tracing (siggraph ’85 I think) and pixar was just doing phong shading. I did get into 3D after that for some time.

After the late ’80’s I was going to shows to get the latest-greatest for my company and steal people.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 25, 2011, 11:58 pm

Cool stuff, cool stuff.

I did quite a lot of demos at work for clients. I actually liked doing them. The point was to show clients what a gosh darned advanced company we were.

The BEST was the digital image editing stuff. This was years before Photoshop, back in the days when people had touching faith in photography. So we’d stand people up, take a snapshot of them and then just start doing stuff to their faces. People just Could Not Believe what they were seeing. That was great fun.

We were given a presentation on an early image transmission thingie once. They sent one of their techs to give it. He was so transparently terrified of being there and talking to us, at one point he informed us that their system operated in 32 “grades of shay.”

Comment from James the lesser
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:10 am

I’ll go with Mugabe again. Last I heard the official report was that he was perfectly healthy, so I assume he’s dying.

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:11 am


Now – I was trying to remember some of the paint systems, and wasn’t autographix a direct competitor to genigraphics? I thought it was a simplified presentation system that recorded to a dicomed camera or something. Damn, those years are fuzzy.

Yes – pre-photoshop. We did work for Letraset on their “color studio” software, which was really cool when we first started our Mac studio in the ’80’s. But, they were insane with the price – it was like $1500 back then. Adobe started a crappier version but it was much cheaper. Rest is history. I live in Silicon Valley, so that’s why I got these capers.

Put it this way, the company I wound up buying back then still used special effect cameras (forox) that had motor drives and crap. We’d do optical masking and overlays with computer graphics. Charged a bundle and took days to do it.

So, you were one of those folks who’d give somebody a “third eye” with a lasso and a video capture. Way cool. Actually, it was probably pre-lasso and you were just painting away when I think about it.

Of course this is starting to sound like “I used to have to walk 5 miles in the snow to check my watfiv cards…”

Comment from Doug!
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:15 am

I never win these things so I’ll pick Anthony Kennedy this time and wish him a long life.

Comment from Eirik
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:17 am

Well, someone grabbed my alternating pick of Harry Morgan (who I switched off with Jack Lalane, and that didn’t work out for me…)

I guess I’ll get perennial Fark favorite Abe Vigoda.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:19 am

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Intergraph, Bentley Systems, and Microstation.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:25 am

Yep, Genigraphics was one of the systems we looked at before we bought into Autographix. It was a presentation system primarily; slides and transparencies. I think it was a Dicomed camera (sometimes we’d take the film back off and watch the laser draw pretty pictures on the ceiling). Our first one had a 35mm film back, so I’d have to go into work at 2am to change film.

I *loved* that. We had all the computer graphics equipment crammed into one little room (it was expensive stuff!) on a single power switch. I’d hit the switch — dwzhhhhh — and the whole room would come alive. Red and green lights blinking, disks spinning up, fans whirring.

I’d sit in there in the blinking semi-dark watching TV and drawing pictures on the computer. Buck Freaking Rogers, me. LOVED it.

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:50 am

Yeah, genigraphics & slidetek were primarily draw/type systems for presentations. Slidetek still had one of the best draw systems I’ve ever used. Better than bezier. XT/AT based and tablets/pens. 5.25″ floppies. Huge film recorders over a grayscale CRT with a rotating gel filter.

I was trying to remember even the film recorder we had for the macs. Lost in the haze. We did bulk film though, had our own E-6 processor. Satisfied the photo-bug in me too. Everything was so freaking expensive then, $20k for this, that and the other thing. Heck, a crappy color dye-sub printer was that much – and now a $60 epson does that.

I think our first room wasn’t much larger than 15×15, with 4 systems and 2 cameras in it. The radiation coming off of those things. The crap was so expensive we worked 2 shifts always. I was the morning guy though, so I didn’t sit and trip like the night folks. Had to make sure the product got out!

So, do you still do it without glasses?

Is Abe Vigoda still alive? Crap.

Comment from Truman North
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:00 am

Longshot: American Football cornerback

Antonio Cromartie


It’ll be one of his baby mamas I think. But it could be a rival gang member.

Comment from harrison
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:02 am

Nelson Mandela.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:04 am

You mean, am I blind after all that? Pretty much. I have very poor eyesight, but the monitor is about the only thing I can see without glasses.

AGX ran on XTs and ATs, which is why I bought an IBM compatible when I bought a home computer. Little did I realize those machines had separate passive backplanes STUFFED with extra hardware. (I once saw the place where they made those custom boards. A warehouse full of little Asian women wielding soldering irons. It was like Sara Lee, only different). Oh, and they had a custom operating system, too.

I still pine for the painting tool that came with the Image Capture System. Not just because it was my first; there was something really intuitive about it. The first business graphics/drawing program we had didn’t have an undo button (I use that to scare the kids).

I got the job through my friend who was the head photographer. Her ran the E6 line. We did 100,000 slides a year, of which about 40,000 were digital.

Heh. Our Bernoulli boxes were $10K each (and I think the cartridges were 10 meg and $40 each). When we moved, we tipped the lot into a dumpster.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:05 am

Crap, both my first choices were taken. Having to work and not being able to get to the computer stinks! Lindsey Lohan on her next round of rehab. How does she get all that shit smuggled into a rehab facility?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:11 am

Didn’t you get the memo, Oh Hell? She’s just “Lindsay” now.

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:18 am

Ramsey Clark (wishcasting)

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:20 am

Steve Jobs.

Just to enjoy the angst of the fanbois.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:25 am

Since Fidel is taken, I’m going with Raul Castro. Of course they will pretend he is alive for at least 18 months after he croaks.

Comment from Ben
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:30 am

William Shatner, he just turned 80

Comment from Michael
Time: March 26, 2011, 1:39 am

I hope Chuck Berry lives forever. That said….

Comment from mojo
Time: March 26, 2011, 2:05 am

Damn you, Ben!

Leonard Nimoy, for the block. HA!

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: March 26, 2011, 2:20 am

I’m going for the Liz two-fer. Elizabeth II.

Yup, I know how long her mother lived… just got this odd feeling…

Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 26, 2011, 2:27 am

Geez, bernoulli. you still remember the names. I still don’t use glasses after staring at all sorts of horrible monitors for 30 years. Isn’t it a “tip” there?

Uncle Badger – speaking of Steve, I don’t use a mac (any more, but have a G4 doorstop) but heavily invested in Apple stock back in the late ’90’s at $14-16 a share. Some said I was crazy. We sold just recently, before anybody knew (except our guy) about Steve’s cancer therapy.

I’ve had some “run-in’s” with SJ, and he’s a dick – but he did keep that company alive, and made me money! I don’t know where apple is going to be without Steve.

Freebie for y’all. Mickey Rooney. 90.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: March 26, 2011, 2:31 am

Well sheesh, I’ll take Maggie since no one seems to want her.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 26, 2011, 3:06 am

I’m suprised that noone has taken Rebecca Black

In the Atrium

By a mob of outraged music lovers…..

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: March 26, 2011, 3:43 am

Keeping with my policy of never repeating a pick: Jacques Barzun.

(Who? Distinguished Franco-American historian, critic, and philosopher, who published 40 books and was on the cover of TIME. Why? He’s 103. BTW, he was born in France, went to Columbia U., taught at Columbia for 47 years, and now lives in San Antonio.)

Some other venerable candidates:

Elliot Carter, composer (102)
Licia Albanese, soprano (97)
David Rockefeller, zillionaire (95)

Uncle Monkey: Apple stock back in the late ’90′s at $14-16 a share

Does that price factor in the 2-for-1 splits in 2001 and 2005? It was at 14-16 around mid-1997, but the split-adjusted price was $3.50. Which is to say, if you sold this year, you got about a 100-to-1 gain.

We sold just recently, before anybody knew (except our guy) about Steve’s cancer therapy.

Jobs first announced he had cancer in 2004.

Comment from JeffS
Time: March 26, 2011, 4:16 am

Fred Phelps. It’s a long shot, but one that would improve the planet immensely.

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: March 26, 2011, 4:45 am

Lot of good choices in there already….

I’m going to go out on a limb and pick Italy’s favourite oligarch, Berlusconi.

No reason.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: March 26, 2011, 5:44 am

When I clicked the Paglia link, I was connected to some very odd photos. I quite liked them, most amusing!

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: March 26, 2011, 6:37 am

I’ll go with my regular pick, Calypso Louie Farrakan.

But I’m guessing Zsa Zsa will take the dick this time.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: March 26, 2011, 7:51 am

I think that Zsa Zsa has taken quite enough dick in her life…..

Comment from Oceania
Time: March 26, 2011, 9:28 am

Hmmmm sigh me up for Obama … I have one of those feelings.

Comment from Pupster
Time: March 26, 2011, 11:40 am

Jared Loughner. If he was from Texas this would be done by now.

Comment from Andrea Harris
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:16 pm

“Hmmmm sigh me up for Obama … I have one of those feelings.”

We’ll get him with the prions. It’s all planned.

Wow that helicopter is flying really l

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:38 pm

For mojo:
Surely you DO understand that if you win with Nimoy and he is resurrected as in Star Trek III, then you lose your dick!

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: March 26, 2011, 12:49 pm

Kim Jong Fuckin Il baby!

soooo ronery.

Comment from mandel bread
Time: March 26, 2011, 2:33 pm

Sticking with Al Molinaro. Have a gut feeling his Happy Days are numbered.

Comment from Jypsea Rose
Time: March 26, 2011, 2:48 pm

Jessica “Lillian Bluth” Walter.

Comment from Jypsea Rose
Time: March 26, 2011, 3:03 pm

Hmmmmmm….Henry Kissinger on Fox News. I want to officially claim him, too.

Comment from steve
Time: March 26, 2011, 4:19 pm

Geraldine Ferarr…..


Comment from Uncle Monkey
Time: March 26, 2011, 4:25 pm


Geraldine Ferraro bit it!
Does that count?

I’m back to my pick yesterday, Ernest Borgnine just in case.

Comment from thefritz
Time: March 26, 2011, 5:00 pm

Stickin’ with centenarians…Delores Hope.
Oh, and today’s my Birthday everyone….

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: March 26, 2011, 5:03 pm

Happy Birthday, Fritz!

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: March 26, 2011, 5:14 pm

Helen Thomas, well known media troll.

Comment from Teresa in Fort Worth, TX
Time: March 26, 2011, 5:30 pm

Dang it, someone already took President Brackets!

OK – Harry Reid…

Comment from Andy
Time: March 26, 2011, 5:37 pm

Larry King

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: March 26, 2011, 6:14 pm


Geraldine Ferraro?

Comment from jam2
Time: March 26, 2011, 6:18 pm

andy griffith….

suck it andy….

Comment from thefritz
Time: March 26, 2011, 8:49 pm

Argentium G. Tiger is my new best friend!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 26, 2011, 9:23 pm

Nope, nobody had Geraldine — play on! (I did lose, like, three dicks in two weeks once).

Sorry ’bout that, Scott the Badger. Linked fixed. Those photos were neat, weren’t they? I’d linked them in a comment thread and I guess it was stuck in the buffer.

I hate getting links stuck in me buffer.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: March 26, 2011, 9:36 pm

Well, jeepers, thefritz, if that’s all it takes. . . Many happy returns of the day! One reaches a point where one views birthdays with decidedly mixed feelings–I hope you’re not quite there, yet!

And, now that I have broken the ice by actually posting in a Dead Pool thread, I’ll ask a question which has been burning inside me for over 24 hours, now. Is The Dread Pirate Shaved Beard any relation to the Dread Pirate Neck Beard? And if so. . .do we felicitate or condole on the loss of facial (and neck?) hair?

Comment from Montenegro
Time: March 26, 2011, 9:38 pm

I will take Osama bin Laden FTW….Obama has to do something to raise his numbers in the polls!

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: March 26, 2011, 10:52 pm

Hey, just because I called it AFTER she died doesn’t mean I didn’t pick her. :p

Comment from Oceania
Time: March 26, 2011, 11:27 pm

The trouble with prions is that they get all over your keyboard

Comment from EZnSF
Time: March 26, 2011, 11:46 pm

AL SHARPTON!! dammit.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 26, 2011, 11:49 pm

God. Is YouTube where stupid people go to unload stupid? I swear, the commentariat there is terrifying.

Comment from Can\’t hark my cry
Time: March 27, 2011, 12:10 am

Is YouTube where stupid people go to unload stupid?

Um. That’s a rhetorical question, yes?

Comment from Pablo
Time: March 27, 2011, 12:32 am

Ferraro slipped the old coil, eh? Walter Mondale it is, then.

Godspeed, Geraldine.

Comment from me
Time: March 27, 2011, 12:50 am

Sen. Frank Lautenberg..

Comment from Oceania
Time: March 27, 2011, 2:35 am

If there is one American I would like to see hung, drawn and quartered.
Madeline Albright …. the treacherous Jew/Croat.

Comment from Oceania
Time: March 27, 2011, 4:37 am

Hang on, that might upset some peoples sensibilities here …
And to think that former Ambassador Albright is a wanted war criminal … tut tut.

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: March 27, 2011, 11:15 am

You’re overthinking, Oceania. It’s a *dead pool*. The very concept offends some sensibilities.

Pock ’em if they can’t take a joke.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: March 27, 2011, 12:40 pm

For Montenegro:
The Muslim in Chief would never even CONSIDER that.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: March 27, 2011, 4:27 pm

Ha, the Muslim in Chief, learned his politics in south Chicago (my old home town, a long time ago). He will do ANYTHING to stay in power!!! HAHAHAHA

Comment from The Dread Pirate Shaved Beard
Time: March 27, 2011, 5:21 pm

Is The Dread Pirate Shaved Beard any relation to the Dread Pirate Neck Beard? And if so. . .do we felicitate or condole on the loss of facial (and neck?) hair?

Indeed, Spring hath sprung. But soon I’ll be back to me itchy ways (it sucks sore heartily to have hair that grows almost twice as fast as a normal person’s).

Comment from The Dread Pirate Shaved Beard
Time: March 27, 2011, 5:25 pm

Dear Mz. Weasel:



Comment from Davem123
Time: March 27, 2011, 6:56 pm

I’m going to go with George Soros. Karma/Kismet/Justice has to step in some time.

Comment from mojo
Time: March 28, 2011, 2:44 am

For Mark Matis:

I thought spotted dick was something you got from an STD. Who knew?

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: March 28, 2011, 4:14 am

Mickey Rooney has to pop off one of these days, so the Mick is my pick.

Comment from NOP
Time: March 28, 2011, 1:11 pm

George H. W. Bush. 🙁

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: March 28, 2011, 1:59 pm

I’d go with my favorite, Mr. Nader, but he’s been pretty entertaining lately—much too good to lose before 2012!—so I’ll toss in the despicable Julian Assange.

That said, I hope Davem123 wins. Assuming Soros is mortal. **shudder**

Comment from RobbieC
Time: March 28, 2011, 6:22 pm

I’m going with legendary boxer Jake Lamotta.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: March 28, 2011, 6:25 pm

Ms Weasel, So if Lindsay Lohan is just “Lindsay” now, when the Grim Reaper comes a knocking at her door, does she get a pass?…..
Happy Birthday , Fritz.
“You’re overthinking, Oceania. It’s a *dead pool*. The very concept offends some sensibilities.” I think I must have done that to my do-workers last week. They really have no sense of humor.

Comment from unkawill
Time: March 28, 2011, 6:43 pm

Don Rickles

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: March 28, 2011, 7:02 pm

Paglia’s entire argument seems to be “yeah, she’s not a very good actress but she has a smokin’ hot body.” That isn’t very compelling to me.

Comment from Oceania
Time: March 28, 2011, 10:39 pm

Charlie Sheen? OD

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 28, 2011, 10:44 pm

Chris… I’LL take a smokin hot body…… 😉

I always did love Audrey Hepburn. Alot of my favorites started out as dancers…..

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: March 29, 2011, 12:14 am

For Scubafreak:
Hittin’ them nudie bars again, eh?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 29, 2011, 12:31 am

I go with my friend April now and then.

(she used to be a dancer, and knows alot of the girls, so we both usually have a fun time…)

Comment from Museisluse
Time: March 30, 2011, 1:40 am

late entry, but
i am going with Mary Tyler Moore for my dick.

Comment from ChicagoJedi
Time: March 31, 2011, 7:19 am

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

Comment from Morbid S.O.B.
Time: March 31, 2011, 12:45 pm

Ethel Kennedy.

Comment from Luis
Time: April 3, 2011, 4:09 am

Michael J. Fox

Comment from Kansas Gman
Time: April 3, 2011, 6:29 am

Rafael Nadal

Death by bunga.

Comment from Jenna
Time: April 4, 2011, 6:28 pm

I’m not saying I want to be right, but Nancy Reagan is getting pretty damn old.

Comment from hotrodelectric
Time: April 5, 2011, 4:54 am

For all the car nuts in the room, here’s one straight outta left field: Joan Claybrook. That miserable scrunt has to die sometime.

Comment from hemmersheim
Time: April 6, 2011, 9:15 pm

hmmmmmno body has J.E.


Comment from grasshopper
Time: April 6, 2011, 11:14 pm

Nick Charles. This is a great read, though.


Comment from hemmersheim
Time: April 12, 2011, 10:42 pm

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: March 25, 2011, 9:00 pm

Mubarak – he’s down, but not QUITE out yet


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 12, 2011, 11:23 pm

Yep, lets see if my pony can stumble across the finish line….

Comment from Beyond Bibb Store
Time: April 13, 2011, 3:23 pm

Besse Cooper because, you know, she’s older than dirt.


Comment from Mija Cat
Time: April 19, 2011, 9:17 pm

Hard to believe nobody had Sarah Jane Smith.


Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: April 21, 2011, 11:35 pm

Posted this once already – is it in the spam trap?

Allen – 3/25/11 – 9:57 PM – King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia
Andy – 3/26/11 – 5:37 PM – Larry King
Argentium G. Tiger – 3/26/11 – 2:20 AM – Elizabeth II
Armybrat – 3/25/11 – 10:44 PM – Muhamad Ali
Ben – 3/26/11 – 1:30 AM – William Shatner
Beyond Bibb’s Store – 4/13/11 – 3:23 PM – Besse Cooper
Bob Mulroy – 3/25/11 – 6:36 PM – Bashar Al-Assad
ChicagoJedi – 3/31/11 – 7:19 AM – Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh
Cobrakai99 – 3/25/11 – 9:22 PM – Hugo Chavez
Dave in Texas – 3/26/11 – 12:49 PM – Kim Jong Fuckin Il
Davem123 – 3/27/11 – 6:56 PM – George Soros
David Gillies – 3/25/11 – 8:13 PM – J. Gordon Brown
Doug! – 3/26/11 – 12:15 AM – Anthony Kennedy
dustoffmom – 3/25/11 – 6:15 PM – Dick Cheney
Eirik – 3/26/11 – 12:17 AM – Abe Vigoda
Elphaba – 3/25/11 – 8:37 PM – Joan Collins
EZnSF – 3/26/11 – 11:46 PM – AL SHARPTON
gebrauchshund – 3/26/11 – 6:37 AM – Louie Farrakan
grasshopper – 4/6/11 – 11:14 PM – Nick Charles
Grizzly – 3/25/11 – 10:41 PM – Harry Morgan
gulliblepratt – 3/25/11 – 10:22 PM – Karl Malden
harrison – 3/26/11 – 1:02 AM – Nelson Mandela
hemmersheim – 3/25/11 – 11:03 PM – Clint Eastwood
hotrodelectric – 4/5/11 – 4:54 AM – Joan Claybrook
J Foster – 3/25/11 – 8:20 PM – Betty White
jam2 – 3/26/11 – 6:18 PM – andy griffith
James the lesser – 3/26/11 – 12:10 AM – Mugabe
Janna – 3/25/11 – 6:32 PM – Jimmah Carter
JeffS – 3/26/11 – 4:16 AM – Fred Phelps
Jenna – 4/4/11 – 6:28 PM – Nancy Reagan
Joan of Argghh! – 3/25/11 – 7:01 PM – Kirk Douglas
jwpaine – 3/25/11 – 8:29 PM – Rachel Maddow
Jypsea Rose – 3/26/11 – 2:48 PM – Jessica “Lillian Bluth” Walter
Kansas Gman – 4/3/11 – 6:29 AM – Rafael Nadal
Lipstick – 3/25/11 – 6:03 PM – Zsa Zsa
Luis – 4/3/11 – 4:09 AM – Michael J. Fox
mandel bread – 3/26/11 – 2:33 PM – Al Molinaro
me – 3/27/11 – 12:50 AM – Sen. Frank Lautenberg
Michael – 3/26/11 – 1:39 AM – Chuck Berry
Mija Cat – 3/26/11 – 4:45 AM – Berlusconi
Mike C. – 3/25/11 – 10:01 PM – Charles Johnson
Mitchell – 3/25/11 – 7:47 PM – Fidel Castro
mojo – 3/26/11 – 2:05 AM – Leonard Nimoy
Mono The Elderish – 3/25/11 – 6:55 PM – Ruby Muhammad
Montenegro – 3/26/11 – 9:38 PM – Osama bin Laden
Morbid S.O.B. – 3/31/11 – 12:45 PM – Ethel Kennedy
Mr. Dave – 3/26/11 – 1:18 AM – Ramsey Clark
MrCaniac – 3/28/11 – 4:14 AM – Mickey Rooney
Mrs. Compton – 3/26/11 – 2:31 AM – Maggie [Thatcher?]
Mrs. Hill – 3/28/11 – 1:59 PM – Julian Assange
Mumbles – 3/25/11 – 6:27 PM – John Dingell
Museisluse – 3/30/11 – 1:40 AM – Mary Tyler Moore
Nina’s nina – 3/25/11 – 10:28 PM – nancy pelosi
NOP – 3/28/11 – 1:11 PM – George H. W. Bush
Oceania – 3/26/11 – 9:28 AM – Obama
Oh Hell – 3/26/11 – 1:05 AM – Lindsey Lohan
Oldcat – 3/25/11 – 8:50 PM – Charlie Sheen
Pablo – 3/27/11 – 12:32 AM – Walter Mondale
PatAZ – 3/26/11 – 1:25 AM – Raul Castro
Pupster – 3/26/11 – 11:40 AM – Jared Loughner
Rich Rostrom – 3/26/11 – 3:43 AM – Jacques Barzun
RobbieC – 3/28/11 – 6:22 PM – Jake Lamotta
Scubafreak – 3/25/11 – 9:00 PM – Mubarak
Shawn, but not lowercased shawn – 3/25/11 – 9:20 PM – Andy Rooney
Sockless Joe – 3/25/11 – 9:02 PM – Larry Eagleburger
Spad13 – 3/25/11 – 10:53 PM – Keith Richards
steve – 3/25/11 – 6:20 PM – Moamar Khadaffi
Sven in Colorado – 3/25/11 – 10:37 PM – Dick Clark
Teresa in Fort Worth, TX – 3/26/11 – 5:30 PM – Harry Reid
The Dread Pirate Shaved Beard – 3/25/11 – 8:44 PM – Michael Moore
thefritz – 3/26/11 – 5:00 PM – Delores Hope
Truman North – 3/26/11 – 1:00 AM – Antonio Cromartie
Uncle Badger – 3/26/11 – 1:20 AM – Steve Jobs
Uncle Monkey – 3/25/11 – 7:06 PM – Ernest Borgnine
unkawill – 3/28/11 – 6:43 PM – Don Rickles
Veeshir – 3/25/11 – 7:37 PM – Ed Asner
weaselwannabe – 3/26/11 – 5:14 PM – Helen Thomas

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: May 2, 2011, 5:14 am

Montenegro takes it with OBL!

I think for that one he deserves FOUR dicks!

Comment from Pablo
Time: May 2, 2011, 2:32 pm

It’s a good day to die. 🙂

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: May 2, 2011, 2:56 pm

Congratulations to Montenegro.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: May 2, 2011, 3:15 pm

While you guys are waiting for people to die of old age or horrible diseases I had the help of the US Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. WOW. I never thought I’d win this. But I’ll take the four dicks. One for my wife on mothers day, one for George W., one for the SEALS and all you guys will have to share the fourth because, come on, we all wanted that mofo dead!!!

Ms. Weasel, do I really get the dick or do I have to print this out and show my friends???

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 2, 2011, 6:28 pm

You totally get the dick, Montenegro. Shoot me a line with your address.

Comment from Kansas Gman
Time: May 3, 2011, 9:14 pm

Well done, Montenegro!

Comment from tawny
Time: May 4, 2011, 9:09 pm

A heads up for Friday. Don’t bother picking Jackie Cooper. RIP.

Comment from hemmersheim
Time: May 4, 2011, 9:16 pm

I am very glad to have lost!!!

Comment from Mumbles
Time: May 7, 2011, 1:54 am

Seeing as it’s nearly 10 p.m. EST in the United States of America, it must be time to enter the next round for the dick.

Zsa Zsa is hospitalized with pneumonia, so I’ve got her!

Comment from Gromulin
Time: May 19, 2011, 5:13 pm

Jack Kevorkian! …I thought I’d lost out on this round since I was on the road last week, but just read that the fucking ghoul was in the hospital. I hope it’s slow and painful for the freak.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 19, 2011, 8:18 pm

Sorry, Grom — you did miss out! The last one was won within hours. Turn up tomorrow for the next round…

Comment from Pablo
Time: June 3, 2011, 1:03 pm

Dammit! Kevorkian croaked between Dead Pools! Why, you inconsiderate son of a bitch…

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