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Your mom would be so proud

Okay, so this private detective firm in Sydney, Oz advertised in a career magazine for a “Brothel Buster Investigator”. Must have private investigator’s license, good command of written and spoken English, be willing to have protected sex with prostitutes. Seventy grand a year.

Because, apparently, having actual sex with prostitutes is “really good evidence” of prostitution. Much better than getting close and then bottling out, like those stupid cops.

The company works on contract for local Councils, ten to twenty investigations a year. Not only do they bust unregistered brothels, but they often find improper fire exits and waste disposal issues at the same time. So, you know, important.

Sorry, gents…the job has been filled.

Let the private dick jokes begin…


Comment from Bruno Braun
Time: February 1, 2012, 11:12 pm

So, let me get this straight, he pays 70 grand a year to do this?

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: February 1, 2012, 11:17 pm

I the prostitues I have come in professional contact with are any guide $70,000 isn’t enough.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: February 1, 2012, 11:29 pm

The ones I’ve seen on Portland Road here in town look scary enough to make your nads suck back up into your body. Those girls in the old picture are kinda cute though, in a country sort of way.

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: February 2, 2012, 12:08 am

I think I’d have to have more than $70,000 a year for that job. All too many prostitutes are a little foggy on the concept of hygiene and disease prevention (thus the regulations), plus most of them are chasing a freight train down a dirt road ugly.

Comment from JeffS
Time: February 2, 2012, 12:11 am

So this particular private investigator uses his privates to investigate? Talk about being a dick….

Comment from JeffS
Time: February 2, 2012, 12:23 am

O/T but oddly related:

USAF’s Big Penetrator Needs to Be Harder

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: February 2, 2012, 1:24 am

Hmm, I wonder if that brothel in Reno is still running its 2 for 1 for Ron Paul special…

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 2, 2012, 1:43 am

Well, it IS a dirty job but…..

Comment from jwpaine
Time: February 2, 2012, 2:55 am

Filled? Well, please keep my resume on file should similar positions open up in the future.

Comment from Mike James
Time: February 2, 2012, 6:03 am

So…I guess the “S” in “S.Weasel” stands for “Sex”? “Sex Weasel”–don’t look at me like that, it’s your post.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 2, 2012, 1:20 pm

Pff! It’s as good as anything. I just can’t bear politics at the moment.

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: February 2, 2012, 1:34 pm

“My name’s Marlowe. I’m a dick. Private.”

(said with a Humphrey Bogart in the “Big Sleep” voice, of course)

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 2, 2012, 2:19 pm

Ok, now that the dick jokes have started:

“Have sex with them? Not with my dick or My Auntie’s Dick®’ either”…

Comment from nightfly
Time: February 2, 2012, 2:42 pm

Ah, you beat me Veggie… Oh well. For posterity:

How many of Weasel’s deadpools do you have to win to get this position?

Comment from mojo
Time: February 2, 2012, 4:39 pm

It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Comment from BigBluBug (RI needs a Suze Orman)
Time: February 2, 2012, 5:56 pm

Speaking of boning and money:


Comment from sandman says:nothing to see here…
Time: February 2, 2012, 6:04 pm

I’m Dick White, the White Dick, and I’m looking into things…

*cue snicker*

It’s tough being a dick.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 2, 2012, 7:05 pm

What was the old Marx Brothers joke?

She offered her honor;
I honored her offer;
This went on all night:
Honor, offer, honor, offer

Comment from ermine
Time: February 4, 2012, 7:54 pm

Yikes, looks like a Python sketch.

Comment from mojo
Time: February 6, 2012, 8:44 pm

“You wouldn’t say no to a lady, would you?”
“Why not? They always say no to me.”
— Groucho, “Hotel Casablanca”

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