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Important Chicken Update


Brought home the new chooks this afternoon. The little black one is about five weeks, the little two-tone is about seven weeks. We can’t be more precise. Because our chicken lady is a bing-bong, is why. They’re getting along fine, though, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

No names yet. We’re thinking of calling the piebald one Magpie, Maggie for short. The little black one we’re trying very hard not to call Shaniqua or Towanda. Because people ask, and then we have to tell them.

And now begins the long, slow process of integrating them into the flock.

In related news, I bought a new high-powered squirt gun today.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 3, 2013, 8:44 pm


Comment from mojo
Time: June 3, 2013, 8:45 pm

Squirt gun, huh? Otherwise known as the Chicken Offense Projector.

“WHAT? WET?? How dare you!”

Comment from mojo
Time: June 3, 2013, 9:29 pm

“I was a cock teaser at Roosterama”

Yes, it’s true – I used to enrage the bantams before the big bout…

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: June 3, 2013, 9:53 pm

I can’t wait to hear the stories of how one goes about integrating chickens.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 3, 2013, 10:05 pm

I can’t wait to hear the stories of how one goes about integrating chickens.

A little flour, some cornmeal, salt, pepper, & a large cast-iron skillet full of hot fat & they integrate beautifully.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: June 3, 2013, 10:58 pm

While a big fan of Stark’s Schwartzie call, another option would be Hijab. Usually black and in keeping w/ the national cultural shift. No explanation needed.

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: June 3, 2013, 10:58 pm

For the unnamed little black one, may I suggest a name that can be pronounced two different ways for different audiences?


When the chicken goes on a squawking tear around the yard, you can look over at Uncle B and say, “The dash don’t be silent.”

Yes, I’m a bad man…

Comment from Laurie
Time: June 3, 2013, 11:10 pm

From my grandkids’ graduation last week may I offer Kavasiye (pronounced Courvoisier)? I’d never have known how to spell it, but it was in the program that way.

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: June 3, 2013, 11:27 pm

They’re adorable. It won’t be long before the age difference is irrelevant, but meanwhile I suppose it will help them sort themselves out more quickly. Will they live indoors with you for a while, or do they already rate their own coop outside?

Squirt guns work on cats, too. It helps them learn the word “no” (snaps fingers) like that, and then you can retire the gun.

Comment from dissent555
Time: June 3, 2013, 11:31 pm

I also like Stark’s proposed nom de poulet.

If not, perhaps Hungarian –
Feel free to modify the pronunciation as you see fit.

Comment from Mal
Time: June 3, 2013, 11:40 pm

Shirley Q Liquor has lots of kids with interesting names.
Some of the girls: K-marteena, Obstetricia, Nivea, Fallopia, Velveeta, Aloe Vera, and Chlamydia Champagne (her baby).

Comment from steve
Time: June 3, 2013, 11:52 pm


Heckle and Jeckle?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 4, 2013, 12:41 am

How about Dartha for the black one with menace in her eye?

Comment from AliceH
Time: June 4, 2013, 12:57 am

I like the name “Maggie” a lot. Not terribly fond of descriptive pet names, though there are exceptions.

How about “Steve”? Isn’t Steve the guy who keeps winning the Dead Pool? Doesn’t he even have a RULE named after him?

Truthfully, that is just retrofitting rationalizations. I just like the name “Steve”.

And “Betty”. I wish I had named my cat “Betty”, but alas – she actually responds to the ill-chosen name already given.

Comment from Nina
Time: June 4, 2013, 2:16 am


More eggs!

Comment from Deborah
Time: June 4, 2013, 2:58 am

Yeah. My first thought was Heckle and Jeckle, too 🙂

Comment from Davem123
Time: June 4, 2013, 3:58 am

How about Jet as a name for your new little friend? A chicken named Jet. It has a ring to it, especially if you can put together a small goggle-equipped aviator’s helmet for casual wear around the yard.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 4, 2013, 5:37 pm

Ole & Lena.

Comment from Bikeboy
Time: June 4, 2013, 5:46 pm

A high-powered squirt gun? Seriously?!

There is NO REASON for civilians to be in possession of such armaments! You can’t hunt with a high-powered squirt gun. And far too often, when used in home defense they are turned against the defender, or found by an innocent who ends up getting squirted in the eye!

And besides… doesn’t the UK have some common-sense squirt gun laws on the books? If not – they should! DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!!!

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: June 4, 2013, 8:08 pm

How about “Raven?” Too goth?

High powered squirt guns are especially fun when you fill them with Tobasco!

Comment from mojo
Time: June 4, 2013, 8:52 pm


“I intend to file a protest in the death of Blackie!”
— Amazon Women on the Moon

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: June 4, 2013, 9:22 pm

What has happened to HK/Chinese pride of craftsmanship?
I cannot find a lo-power squirt gun that will hold vinegar for a week w/o an internal chemical reaction affecting the seals, resulting in leaking and/or crappy performance.
I have paid as much as $2.50 for ONE gun! Yeah, two fiddy!
Water doesn’t appear to have the desired effect on the marauding cat.

Comment from steve
Time: June 5, 2013, 2:01 am

When it comes to “industrial strength”, “high powered” “squirt guns”, you almost cannot equal a good, old fashioned, water fire extinguisher.

You kind of have to take them down to the local service station, or some other suitable location, to get them filled back up with the 90 to 100 psi air pressure, when re-filling.

But emptying (sp?) 2.5 gals of water at 90psi is….

Well, you just have to experience it. No other super soaker comes close.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: June 5, 2013, 3:40 am

I had a friend who’s son & wife named their kid ‘Latrina’. If I remember correctly, I blurted out something highly inappropriate and laughed. No longer friends after that.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 5, 2013, 4:16 am

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: June 4, 2013, 8:08 pm

How about “Raven?” Too goth?

Waven, if you have a wotacism (& don’t all goffs have a wotacism?).

Comment from mojo
Time: June 5, 2013, 6:30 am

AltBBrown: If you have fences, try some stuff called Tanglefoot. It’s spray-on, meant for the trunks of fruit trees, to keep crawly bugs off. Spray it on the fence rails – cats hate it. Sticky paw is not their favorite thing.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: June 5, 2013, 11:17 am

Thanks mojo, but no fencing. Also we have maintained a semi-feral feline from those snow storms a few years back. She’s borderline autistic at best. A maraudering ‘hood cat bullies her frequently. The thing takes off when she sees or hears us after watergun sprays, but not getting the message. Hoping vinegar would leave a lasting impression to steer clear of the property.
If our cat wasn’t such an idjit, we prolly wouldn’t have this problem.

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