web analytics

Think what your windshield would look like if they really did have wings

ghost dog

So, Uncle B says to me, “you’ve been really dour on your blog lately.” (Which he pronounces like “poor.” Cracks me up. This is bad, on account of when he tell me he’s in a dour mood, is not to snicker). I told him I’d lighten up this week.

I lied.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the doggie suicide bridge. It’s near Dumbarton in Western Scotland. In the last fifty years, fifty dogs have leapt to their deaths off this thing.

It’s always long-nosed breeds, it’s always on a clear day, and they always jump off at the same spot — the last low parapet on the right-hand side of the bridge, facing the estate.

Naturally, they’re blaming my cousin. Not the one who lives in Alabama, they’re blaming stinky minks. Minks are not native to the UK; they were introduced for the fur trade and got away from it just about the time dogs began offing themselves here. There’s a thriving population of them locally, and my goodness they do smell.

Smell would explain the long-nose breeds and the clear weather, but why the same spot every time?

Boo! Happy Monday!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 23, 2008, 1:39 pm

I thought this was cool, from the link:

A famous Austrian experiment has shown dogs can pick up on the thoughts and intentions of their owners from many miles away and don’t just rely on physical clues to interpret what their owners want.

In the study, conducted by Dr Rupert Sheldrake, a dog and its owner were filmed simultaneously in separate environments.

Dog could sense its owner
The female owner went out for the day while the dog remained at home. The owner was instructed to return home at a time chosen by the researcher and to do so in a taxi so as not to provide any familiar car sounds.

Just 11 seconds after she was told to go home, the dog moved to the window, where it could look out and await her arrival.

It remained there the entire 15 minutes it took the woman to travel home, proving, says Dr Sheldrake, that thoughts and intentions can be transmitted to dogs.

We all know people who grossly overestimate what their pets are capable of thinking and feeling, but there’s no doubt little animules do some spooky shit.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 23, 2008, 1:44 pm

As soon as I saw your post photo, the first thing that popped into my li’l haid was “suicide dogs”. I read about ’em several years ago somewhere – Sunday newspaper supplement, I think.

Weird shit, fo’ sho’.

Comment from Jill
Time: June 23, 2008, 1:50 pm

And the Mama Dog said, “…and if your friends were to jump off of a bridge…”

BTW, Suicide Dogs is the name of my next (i.e., first) punk polka band.

Comment from porknbean
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:17 pm

Very cool looking bridge.

Just like in-tune mothers to their children, I believe there is that same kind of energy between folks and their beasts. You either pick up on very subtle behavior changes or you ‘sense’ things.

i.e…when the kidlets were babies/toddlers, it never failed, the nights I was most restless and could not sleep as if something was not right, they woke up at 2am to puke.

Comment from porknbean
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:19 pm

why the same spot every time?

Because it’s the lowest spot they could find when they see the little mink bastages pop out of their hidey holes.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:31 pm

You can’t see anything from dog height, even at the low spots. And there are other low spots. <shrug>

Oh! I went back to the pound today for the first time in a few days (if there was something bad going around, I didn’t want to spread it on my hands. And there’s no point going if you can’t skritch anybody).

ALL but one of my buds got adopted. The older guys, I mean. And no, they didn’t die and the shelter is lying to me. I asked. And a couple were still there with notes pinned to their cages.

Anyhow, while I was there, a family group of about eight kids all aged around 9 to 12 (their varied ethnicity makes it certain they were strung together via adoption) came in to adopt a cat. And they picked — psycho kitten!

If I were playing pick-a-disaster, I would put Beelzebub the Vicious in a household full of grabby, screamy kids.

I give him a week.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:34 pm

Dr. Rupert Sheldrake sounds like a creation of the twisted, perverted, genius mind of Stanley Kubrick. If they ever make a movie of that Austrian dog experiment (and the way Hollywood is going, there’s no reason to think that they wouldn’t), they should get old, cobbled-together footage of Peter Sellers to ‘play’ the part of him.

I’m supposed to pronounce ‘dour’ like ‘poor’ rather than ‘hour’? Holy shit, I’ve been doing it wrong. No wonder I’m a social outcast.

Jesus fuck, this is depressing. Those poor little woofers.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:44 pm

I refuse to pronounce dour like door. Especially since – so far as I can recall – I have never once used the word in spoken conversation.

Badger, Gibby – How do you pronounce jaguar?

Comment from Allen
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:46 pm

A lady friend of mine told me once that she thought my trailhorse had a death wish. I’m not sure I believe that but I can’t help but think about it when we’re out in the steep bits.

Who the heck knows about the dogs. Maybe they are more aware then previously credited.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:47 pm

Oh! Psycho-kitten. Well, he’ll be well-fed with young’uns before the adopters get rid of him.

It’s gonna be a blood bath.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:49 pm

Jâ-gyoo-â as opposed to jâ-gwar. I know Americans pronounce it as the latter, but I’ve never heard of anyone over here pronouncing it like that.

Comment from Jill
Time: June 23, 2008, 2:58 pm

Hey Swease…would carrying a little bottle of hand sanitizer help with your trips to the pound? Sanitize between cages?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 23, 2008, 3:10 pm

Gibby – I knew it! Three syllables!

Comment from Lokki
Time: June 23, 2008, 3:11 pm

Ode to a Suicide Dog
-(With apologies to Richard and Linda Thompson)

She was there one minute and then she was gone the next –
Lying in a pool of herself with a twisted neck.

Oh she fell from the bridge to the ground.
There was shattered glass lying all around
She was broken in a hundred pieces
When her body was found.

She used to live life, she used to live life with a vengeance!
And the chosen would dance; the chosen would dance in attendance!

She crossed a lot of people weasels
Some that she called friends
She thought she’d live forever
But forever always ends …

Did she jump or was she pushed?
Did she jump or was she pushed?
Did she jump or was she pushed?

Oh she used to have style, she used to have style and she used it!
And they say it turned bad when the truth came `round and she refused it!

They found some fingerprints
Right around her throat…
They didn’t find no killer
And they didn’t find no note

Did she jump or was she pushed?
Did she jump or was she pushed?
Did she jump or was she pushed?

Comment from Lemur King
Time: June 23, 2008, 3:40 pm

Weas, are you sure it’s the mustelid factor and not the “God, I’m such a damned ugly dog” factor?


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 23, 2008, 3:47 pm

The dour/pour thing. I’m guessing, but if Gibby has a Yorkshire accent, that would explain why we pronounce it differently. It’s a North/South thing. I’m sure y’all understand 😉

Sheldrake is all too real and a very controversial figure. He’s been researching into human and animal telepathy for years. He’s beloved of the Foretan Times crowd and is the sort of scientist who makes James Randi have a fit.

I think he’s onto something.

Comment from Buffoon
Time: June 23, 2008, 3:51 pm

I must reconsider my visits to SWeasel, when I saw this I was compelled to go into the kitchen and jump face first from the table into a hot burner on the stove….
The dog made me do it, the med bill will be in your mailbox soon…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 23, 2008, 4:05 pm

Okay, Buffoon. I’ll pay your vet bill. But while you’re in there, we’re having you snipped.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: June 23, 2008, 4:13 pm

Snipped…and wormed! That’ll teach ‘im.

Comment from Psycho Kitty
Time: June 23, 2008, 5:21 pm

I give him a week

O RLY? They don’t know who they’re fucking with.

Comment from Gnus
Time: June 23, 2008, 6:39 pm

The doggies are simply being thoughtful and sparing their loving families the horrendous vet bills that typically come with a terminal disease.

That thought ought’a cheer ya up.

Comment from George W. Bush
Time: June 23, 2008, 7:58 pm

WOOT! The booze is back in Baghdad!


Suck on that Seth.

Comment from George W. Bush
Time: June 23, 2008, 7:59 pm

WTF? Help, I’ve fallen into akismet and can’t get out.

Comment from kishnevi
Time: June 23, 2008, 8:15 pm

Personally, I’ve always seen dour used to describe Scottish stuff, and have always therefore pronounced it poor, but with the brogue. Besides, usually a person is dour because he’s too poor…

Pingback from Cannibal Hamsters « Lemur King’s Folly
Time: June 23, 2008, 10:21 pm

[…] I was surprised at the number of pooches that decided to pack it all in for a pair of wings by flinging themselves off of a bridge. For those of you who are not dog owners/lovers this is not normal K-9 […]

Comment from iamfelix
Time: June 23, 2008, 11:47 pm

Hi, Stoaty: I found this looking for more L. Wain pixes & thought you might like it. I hope my sister doesn’t see your angel-dog … looks too much like her JRT (who has been ailing of late, but does not appear suicidal). His name is Nelson Eddy R*, and he’s my favorite dog.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 24, 2008, 7:08 am

Whoa, that’s quite the art dump, Felix. Why that turned up on a search for Wain, I could not say…

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 24, 2008, 12:21 pm

Weasie, update your email address. I tried to send you some schroedinger pics, and the email bounced.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 24, 2008, 1:53 pm

You got a bounce from stoaty@sweasel.com? You sure? Damn! That probably means my mail server is screwed up again. I’ll check it when I get home.

Want kitten pics!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 24, 2008, 2:38 pm

well, hurry. He won’t be a kitten for long. He’s Groowwwiiinnngggg like a weed……..

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny