sweasel.com

I so feel your horror over the loogies. At work I sit next to two guys – one who slurps all day, and one who breathes all day. Loud enough to wake the dead, I mean. I wear earplugs at work, obviously.

Oh BTW today someone found my blog by searching for “weasel hole foot disease” whatever the hell that is!

The guy two cubicles down falls asleep and snores. He also makes a lot of personal phone calls for his church and tacks “…and all like that…” onto every other sentence. The woman who sits next to me is alternately chatty and sulky. And the one across from me wears flip-flops that go f-slap f-slap f-slap.

I wear headphones, but I tend to get sucked in…and then, sure as shit, someone will touch my arm and ask a question and I’ll come completely unstrung.

Poor weasel foot. Or weasel hole. Whichever.

Isn’t “wet weasel” one of those obscure sexual euphemisms that Mr Garrison told his students about on South Park?

I thought ‘wet weasel’ was a prank that adolescent boys played…

…and Marmoset there’d be days like this, Swease… 🙂

.

And I turned twenty-one in Websense doin’ life without parole,
No one could steer me right but Marmoset tried, Marmoset tried
Marmoset tried to raise me better but her pleading I denied
And that leaves only me to blame, cause Marmoset tried

That’s a “Wet Willie” Jill. Come here, I’ll demonstrate.

*Slurps finger*

Years ago we had an intern who would fall asleep at his desk quite frequently. One time he actually fell out of his chair while sleeping. Our interns used to be dangerously undersupervised.

KID, have you rehabilitated yourself?

Sorry you got left out in the rain (to switch hippie songs), Stoaty. 🙂

Group W bench with the Father rapers and Mother stabbers.

Should I be sad I’m not in the corporate world? There are only three of us in the entire company. That’s all who’re in the office: three people, each with his own office (well, I don’t have an office per se).

The comment above mine makes no sense whatsoever to me.

Seems like I’m really dense.

Arlo Gunthrie,in his song Alice’s Restaurant, was put on the Group W bench with said people because rather than bring the other pile of garbage up, he threw his down. Clear it up any?

Damn, stoatie…. That sounds worse than having to herd a bunch of pissed off alpacas.

Dunno about Musli, but now I’m MORE confused.

Poor Weas. But hey, it can’t get any worse, right?

(ominous crash of thunder)

Oops. Shouldn’t have said that.

You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant (‘ceptin’ Alice).

Album cover.

I had a terrible crush on Arlo Guthrie after Alice’s Restaurant. My dad wangled me an invite to a party he was supposed to be at in Nashville, but his wife had a baby that night and he didn’t show. Now he looks like a yeti. ‘Cute’ doesn’t age well.

Alice’s Restaurant. Speaking of things that don’t age well. I saw it again in the ’80s and thought, “there’s a bunch of smartmouth spoiled kids begging for an industrial-strength ass-slappin’.”

I remember a very cute little girl of about 3 or so who used to call her flip-flops ‘my slappies’. She’s probably about 16 now and a full-fledged pain in the arse.

Update: websense has unblockerered you at my workplace! Clearly, the shattering wrath of the Mustelid Hordes was too terrible a burden for them.

Also, I’d never heard Alice’s Restaurant, until I read Alice’s NNTP on usenet.

http://mushi.taronga.com/alice.nntp

…too geeky?

Lightning. Pestilence. Floods.

Stoaty, I hate to judge before the facts are all in, but I’m sensing a trend here.

More lightening and floods are on their way. Nasty storm blew through overnight here in the Midwest. Supposed to rain most of the day.

Nice Merle ref Lokki, I hadn’t thought of that song in years and years.

Sorry for your troubles there Weazy. I suggest drinking heavily until things get rosier, or at least until you forget what all the ruckus was about. If you follow Lokki’s lead, Merle has some of the best music for sorrow drowning.

The name “Alice’s Restaurant” reminds me of the TV show Alice.

I miss the old sitcoms. The new shows, not as good. (Maybe that’s why I mainly watch the Cartoon Network and Comedy Central and GSN).

In fact…I can’t watch some of them. My sister was watching CSI: SVU and I nearly vomited.

Well, Stoatie could always to a series of art pics for Law and Order – Special Kitties Unit……

Oh, maybe it’s L&O: SVU and not SI: SVU.

L&O, CSI, NCIS…they’re all the same to me.

My British friends…what does “Zanu-Labour” mean?

Just think of it. Detective Schroedinger and the crack detectives of the Special Kitties Unit hot on the trail of Fluffy McMetro and his sidekick, Tom C. Bignuts, following the Tuna heist of the century…..

Throw in some Siameze twins and a dancer called Russian Blue, and you have a great story… 🙂

I’ll take a crack at it, Musli. It’s just guess, but I’m sure Uncle B or Gibby will correct me…

After losing too many elections in a row, the Labour Party rebranded itself as New Labour in the late ’90s. This bit of political hooey became “nulabour” to its detractors. Zanu, on the other hand, is the Zimbabwe African National Union — the radical political party that kicked over white rule and put Mugabe in power. So “Zanu Labour” is just pushing the comedy a little bit further.

It’s that thing the Brits do, with the words and the talking and shit.

Thanks for the explanation! It makes sense now.

It’s that thing the Brits do, with the words and the talking and shit.

Oh, they’re clever with feces too? What can’t the Brits do?

You could have Alice, if you were a girl, according to Elton John:

All the young girls love Alice
Tender young Alice they say
Come over and see me
Come over and please me
Alice it’s my turn today

Muslihoon –
The story behind the (very long ballad) called Alice’s Restaurant
(which you can and should read here:
http://www.arlo.net/resources/lyrics/alices.shtml

is pretty interesting,or at least I think it is.

1. The Singer of the Song is named Arlo Guthrie – He was a popular folk singer during the Vietnam War. The song is a comedy ballad about an innocent hippy who goes to a friends tiny hippy restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner. After the dinner they throw away the trash in the woods because the city trash dump is closed for Thanksgiving. Arlo is arrested by overzealous police and is convicted of littering. Later he is called for the draft and must report to the army. He is asked if he has ever been convicted of a crime, and his honest answer is “Yes”. He is then sent to the place where all the convicts must wait until they are examined to see if they are suitable for military service. The place where he is sent to wait is the “Group W bench with the Father rapers and Mother stabbers.” IN the end, because of his crime Alice escapes serving in the army and isn’t sent to Vietnam.

The story is a nice piece of absurdity and advice on how to avoid being sent to the army….by getting convicted of something minor, like littering.

2. Arlo’s father (Woody Guthrie) was a very famous Labor protestor and folk singer in the 1930’s. He was very good at what he did, and was very important for the poor people and the unions during the terrible days of the Depression in the 1930’s. Here is an example of one of his songs
(remove two spaces before the //)
http: //www.woodyguthrie.org/Lyrics/Nineteen_Thirteen_Massacre.htm

If you read these lyrics after reading Alice’s restaurant, you’ll see the similarity between the two.

3. The father, of course, never approved of his hippy son – and died before Arlo had success with is anti-war protest song Alice’s Restaurant.

Oh, and Christopher scores!

!@%!%^!^!^ Akismet scores~! Lokki is sent to the pen for the weekend!

Elton John is a bloated pustule on Ted Kennedy’s ass.

It’s the links, Lokki. The liiiiinks.

Cheer up — Pete Seeger is still alive. We aren’t running out of dessicated old communists yet!

Yes, Muslihoon – her Ladyship is quite correct about ZaNuLabour.

So you have two despised political parties: one an autocratic fascistic regime with no popular mandate, systematically destroying the economy and re-writing history.

The other’s based somewhere in Africa…

Thanks, Uncle B!

And nice joke. Make me chuckle.

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