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Why there were no cats in the manger

It’s a nativity scene made up entirely of Henrys.

Henry. It’s a vacuum cleaner. He’s a British institution. I’ve written about him before.

Oh, well. Excuse lameness. My doctor was over an hour late for my appointment today, and it turns out those rough patches on my legs are psoriasis. I’m feeling sorry for myself.

If you’re an American of a certain age, your brain automatically corrected that to the heartbreak of psoriasis.


Comment from Dan Patterson
Time: December 9, 2014, 1:07 am

I read “Henrys” and thought of the Henry J. instead of a house-hold cleaning device. Sort of shows where my references lay, I suppose.
What from the Piedmont of NC would improve your mood?
Cheers and all that jolly rot…

Comment from Bob
Time: December 9, 2014, 1:21 am

My wife was mis-diagnosed with psoriasis, it turned out she had something called “acquired fish allergy” which causes a rash that develops some sort of microbal infestation and looks like psoriasis. Once we figured out the link between eating fish and the rash, she’s much better. But fish parts are used as ingredients in all sorts of things that we hadn’t expected, so the rash shows up once in a while, and it takes a long time to get rid of it.

Over here, dermatologists are prescribing urea spray (from cows) for psoriasis, and yes, it stinks. I’m glad we aren’t using that anymore.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: December 9, 2014, 3:10 am

If you’re an American of a certain age, your brain automatically corrected that to the heartbreak of psoriasis.

Exactly my first reaction.

Sorry about that, it is heartbreaking from what I’ve heard.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 9, 2014, 4:00 am

Psoriasis, moriasis. As long as you haven’t fallen and can’t get back up (while sober) life is good

Hope you’re doing better soon.

Oh -and a question please! I know the vacuums are ‘Henry Brand’, but I see various names on the ones in the Nativity Display…. Can you buy them with various name? Can you choose the name you like? What’s the name of your ‘Henry’.

Comment from Bloke in California
Time: December 9, 2014, 5:59 am

@Some Vegetable: you can get ‘Henrietta’, a pink version of the original Henry, the other names are all different models in the range.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 9, 2014, 12:54 pm

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, Stoaty. )-: Psoriasis is ugly, irritating, and intensely annoying. Oh, and heartbreaking. Thank goodness, not fatal.

It’s interesting what sticks uselessly in our memories. “Heartbreak” instantly came to mind even before I got to your last line. “Certain agers” can immediately name the products associated with:

2. See the U.S.A. in your _______
3. Brusha-brusha-brusha
4. Healps build strong bodies 10 ways [later 12 ways]
5. Little liver pills

Comment from Simon S
Time: December 9, 2014, 1:58 pm

That doesn’t sound fun – hope it gets better quickly!

Off topic (sorry!) – Skandia Recluse: I’ve just put reviews of both your books on amazon.co.uk (5 and 4 starts). PLEASE do the third, and charge a lot more for them! Doesn’t Amazon give you a larger percentage at different price points? Go up one level at least – you really aren’t asking enough!

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: December 9, 2014, 3:56 pm

When I was hospitalized a couple of years ago for a blood clot in my lung, I was sedated for 3 weeks. I had developed this thing on my back…kind of oozy sore that I made the mistake of scratching…it made a bit of a mess.

When I was later installed in a recovery room, one day a new doctor came in and looked at it and said, ‘OMG!!!Shingles!!!!’ Jeebus, they quarantined me, ran a million tests and totally freaked me out (I was already having Post Traumatic Stress from all the bad dreams I had when I was under).

Turned out to be a bed sore…dumbasses. I had to put this creme on it for a few weeks after I got out…it went away, eventually…have a pile of scar tissue there now though.

Anyway, hope it gets better for you too, S.Weasel.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 9, 2014, 4:25 pm

Your immune system is bored. Why not travel to beautiful Africa or Indonesia to-day & give yourself something to remember?

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: December 9, 2014, 5:19 pm

Uncle Al:

I could neame a lot of your list:

1. LS/MFT: “Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco” (though at my high school, we changed it to “Loose Straps Mean Floppy Titties”)
2. See the U.S.A. in your _______ “Chevrolet”
3. Brusha-brusha-brusha (????)
4. Helps build strong bodies 10 ways [later 12 ways]: “Milk” (?)
5. Little liver pills: “Doan’s” (???) or “Carter’s” ?

Comment from Whatever
Time: December 9, 2014, 5:33 pm

Uncle Al, was your description supposed to make The Weasel feel better?

Cause it made me feel terrible, and I don’t even HAVE it…

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 9, 2014, 6:01 pm

+Ipana and Wonder Bread.
Used to luv me some Luckies!

Comment from mojo
Time: December 9, 2014, 7:32 pm

Leggo my Eggo!
Hey Culligan man!

Comment from CrabbyOldBat
Time: December 9, 2014, 10:14 pm

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, OH! What a relief it is!

You’ll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with _______!

You can trust your car to the man who wears the star, the big, bright, _______ star!

Call ______, that’s the name, and away go troubles down the drain!

Comment from Anonymous
Time: December 9, 2014, 10:50 pm

You might not
Remember these
They were
More common than
The Trees


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 9, 2014, 11:14 pm

Feel free to continue in this thread, which is heaps more fun than the protest thread. I bet I’m the only one who endures this playing on a loop in her head:

Foooooooorrrrr real country sausage, the best you ever tried
Look for me on the label of Tennessee Pride.

Take home a package of Tennessee Pride!

Comment from EZnSF
Time: December 10, 2014, 1:58 am

Sorry for the Psoriasis. Better than Psychosis.

It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature…
Points only for the brand, not the product.

Comment from Nina
Time: December 10, 2014, 4:39 am

You have to sing this one:

Sugar free doctor pepper
Tastes fattening but it’s not
How can sugar free taste so sugar-full?
What a great taste this one’s got.
How did they make so few calories
Taste like quite a lot?
Sugar free doctor pepper
Tastes fattening but it’s not.

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: December 10, 2014, 2:45 pm


Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, OH! What a relief it is! “Alka-Seltzer”

You’ll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with _______! “Pepsodent”

You can trust your car to the man who wears the star, the big, bright, _______ star! “Texaco” (who sponsored what early TV star?)

Call ______, that’s the name, and away go troubles down the drain! (Not sure of this one. “Roto-Rooter”?)

Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: December 10, 2014, 2:50 pm

“It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature –!”

I know it was some 1970s margarine product; the actress playing Mother Nature had a line, “That’s my sweet creamy butter!” Not Parkay; they had their “Paar-kaaay!” catch phrase, which I think they still use today.

Imperial margarine, maybe? No, they had that stupid crown popping into view on people’s heads at the breakfast table. I always wanted to hear the wife say, “Uh, George, did you know you have a crown on your head?” “Yes, dammit! Now where are my car keys??!!”

Comment from Can’t Hark My Cry
Time: December 10, 2014, 5:29 pm

A kid’ll always eat the middle …

Comment from LesterIII
Time: December 11, 2014, 6:54 am

Stoaty, get an allergy test. Particularly for food allergens. Like Bob, I too have a wife that was mis-diagnosed with psoriasis. It was was mis-diagnosed as several other things prior to that. Turns out she is allergic to the protein in cow’s milk. Within 30 days of stopping consumption of anything containing that (which is tricky ‘cuz it’s in everything), it was COMPLETELY clear.

She still cries if she sees me eating pizza, or real ice cream, or manicotti, or smoked gouda, or any of her other favorites. So I don’t do that in front of her. When I travel for business, it is like a cheese-vacation.

Explore this as a possibility, Stoaty. If it is a was mis-diagnosis, and you continue to eat an allergen, it may have other health consequences.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: December 11, 2014, 7:22 am

Close Wolf!
I think they still sell Imperial. But I stopped the margarine schtick years ago. (all Kerrygold since).
For some reason I thought Fabio creamed all the others out of business.

And nobody should eat ‘smoked’ gouda. It’s just not proper. Not normal.
But I agree. The food allergy is something Dame Stoat should explore.

I won’t bother her with my new-age, west-coast, concepts of not eating nuts, eggs, nightshades (tomatoes, eggplant, peppers of all kinds) as a suggestion, and looking into Paleo eats.

Comment from Reaper of the grim
Time: December 11, 2014, 8:59 pm

Please no butt porn, I’m out of tucks! I have a question? How many licks does it take to get to the ___ ___ center?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 11, 2014, 9:38 pm

Lester, if it were a milk allergy, I might honestly put up with the skin condition instead of giving it up. I seriously, seriously love dairy.

I’ve quit smoking. I’m damned if I’ll quit milk.

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