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Yup, God still hates me


Today is my twenty-fifth anniversary on the job. Twenty five years of working for the same boss and punching the same time clock. Everything else about it has changed, though.

I was hired primarily to be an illustrator, back when that meant ink and magic markers and pretty, colorful crayons on paper. But an in-house shop does everything, so I also had to do paste-up and publications design, darkroom work, technical illustration, signage, floor plans…you name it. I once illustrated a Basic Hygeine for Retards book, because someone on the kitchen staff had horrible B.O. and everybody was afraid to tell him.

I worked there two years before we bought our first computer. I got to watch all those fields transition from manual (primarily based on photographic technologies) to digital. It was very cool.

Well, I thought it was very cool.

Anyhow, when you have a major anniversary, you get to pick out a gift ahead of time and there’s cake and stories and stuff. Only…nothing. The topic didn’t even come up today. You don’t bring these things up — it’s a pretend surprise — so I’m thinking maybe because I was late picking out my gift (a pocket camera) that they’re still waiting for it.

Oh, and I’m coming down with a cold.


Comment from Gabriel
Time: August 22, 2008, 5:32 pm

Aw, that sucks. Don’t cry, weasel. Demand satisfaction.

Comment from Allen
Time: August 22, 2008, 6:02 pm

Congrats on the 25. I know exactly how you feel, my 20th at my place just passed by, with silence. My first day was 8/8/88 so I take comfort in the numerological aspect of the whole thing.

I also take cheer from the fact that I “get” to mentor the younglings. Oh God, thank you for the lowly yeast that eats sugar and poops alcohol. Manna.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 22, 2008, 6:14 pm

Allen, I can’t for the life of me work out what you do. It seems to involve horses, wine and business meetings.

Skål, everyone.

Comment from wendyworn
Time: August 22, 2008, 6:19 pm


At first I thought you were going to say you got fired or laid off! Although sorry about the non-recognition. Plus that is amazing that you have been at the same company for 25 years! The longest I’ve ever stayed at any one place was 4 years. Usually I get sick of the crap and/or get bored and just start job hunting till I get a different job. I am usually pretty good about my 2 weeks notice tho. The job that have now, I will have been there for 3 years in Oct. But I may actually stay here because they are really old school having started in 1945 and they still send all their retirees Christmas baskets. Plus the money is really good. But if I stay here for 25 years I will be 64. *shudder*

Comment from Allen
Time: August 22, 2008, 6:38 pm

The horses and wine are easy, I’m a gentleman farmer. 🙂

My regular job, mmmff, don’t talk much about that one. In fact I’m not quite sure how to describe it at times. Barry Manilow said it best I think.

“I help make the things that make the bad guys cry…”

Detonation and shock physics research is me thing.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: August 22, 2008, 6:43 pm

Hey, Allen – if you ever get any free samples… ?

Badgers like fireworks…

Comment from Allen
Time: August 22, 2008, 7:05 pm

Uncle Badger, 🙂

I have just the book for you on Pyrotechnics. I love fireworks, they’re so creative and ingenious.

An old joke of mine: I always carry my own bomb when I fly; what are the odds of there being two bombs on the same plane?

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: August 22, 2008, 9:10 pm

I worked for you for 30 years. Threw my own retirement party. . . DJ, open bar, crab legs, steamship round, etc. The one requirement for attendance was that you had to wear a Hawaiian shirt. I remember most of it. 🙂

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: August 22, 2008, 9:30 pm

Sorry about the cold and recognition thing Stoaty. I just passed 12 years at my job, although only 10 years are “on the books” (temp agency work doesn’t count). We get to go to the recognition luncheon every five years, which because of the timing of my hiring I get to attend the following year. Anyway, I got a honking big toolbox this year.

Comment from Lokki
Time: August 22, 2008, 10:39 pm

” . . . get born, keep warm, short pants, romance, learn to dance, get dressed, get blessed, try to be a success, please her, please him, buy gifts, don’t steal, don’t lift,
twenty years of schooling and they put you on the day shift…”

Twenty-five years tied to the slab working under the snake for Lokki this year.

Comment from Fennec
Time: August 22, 2008, 11:14 pm

Awww… what a cute little weasel today! No be sad! Happy anniversary!

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: August 22, 2008, 11:30 pm

The longest I’ve stayed at one place is just over two years*. That might be because I’m 25…

Congrats on the anniversary, Weas. I am sure your party thingy will be next week or so. I hope it’s fun.

*a very long and convoluted explanation of why my “service time” is actually almost 5 years could go here, but it’s 10:30 on Friday night, so screw that, y’know?

Comment from Jill
Time: August 22, 2008, 11:46 pm

Aw, crap. I don’t have a bow like that for my fur.

Happy Anniversary, y’ole fart.

(I can say this because we are the same age)


(and thank you for the basic hygiene book – I took the hint)

Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: August 22, 2008, 11:50 pm

17 years here, first 5 at an oil company, next 5 at a defense contractor.

I like it here. They’ve been very good to me.

Comment from XBradTC
Time: August 22, 2008, 11:53 pm

Is there a reason I can’t get the stoaty in the header to trot? Now I’m bummed.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: August 23, 2008, 12:21 am

Sorry to hear that, stoaty. If I was close by, I would make you a big pot of my famous chicken soup. Takes 2 days to make and is guaranteed to cure everything from the common cold to foot fungus and halitosis…

Sadness sometimes takes a second bowl…… 🙂

Comment from porknbean
Time: August 23, 2008, 2:33 am

For the past few years at the husband’s job – it is coming up on 24 years – the company gives the workers a decent wad of cash, but there is a catch. Because of tax considerations, they have to spend it providing food for everyone. Many said screw that, they just won’t use it.

Happy anniversary weasel. If I lived in your neck of the woods, I would buy you a drink and have one myself (haven’t imbibed in years). Sent the boy off to college this week and am excited for him….but….but….
*blubbers like a goon and slinks off*

Comment from TBinSTL
Time: August 23, 2008, 3:01 am

Just for you:

Comment from porknbean
Time: August 23, 2008, 3:28 am

Where around STL, TB be?

Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 23, 2008, 6:37 am

Ohhhh…I got a gift, alright. Joe Biden. Joe Biden! It’s the most tone-deaf pick I can imagine. He’s practically John McCain without the military resume, so Obama has just disarmed himself. The iconography of The One is now officially just another two-man ticket.

Damn, I wish I didn’t hate McCain so much. I’d be enjoying this!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 23, 2008, 6:38 am

Pff! That was me. I can’t sign in as admin with Opera in this new version of WordPress, so my own blog knowest me not.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: August 23, 2008, 8:55 am

I know, Weas! I sat up giggling last night, going, “Oh, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” I’m going to have a lot of fun telling various people that Biden is the BEST possible pick and then waiting for the shoe to drop – he’s the best possible pick for McCain. I can’t wait for the Republicans to cut an ad using that remark Biden made where he said he didn’t think Obama was prepared. *giggling* Also, the veep debate will totally be worth watching for once*.

Hope your cold is feeling better. Remember, alcohol kills germs. Chicken soup is good, too. Maybe you should have them together.

*2004’s veep debate was also worth watching for that moment when Cheney said, “I love my family very much,” and glared at Edwards, who just about wet his pants.

Comment from God
Time: August 23, 2008, 9:07 am

Look…it’s not you, it’s me.

Comment from Allen
Time: August 23, 2008, 12:45 pm

Joe Biden, perfect. Now we will not only be bitter we’ll be stupid too.

McCain should pick Lindsey Graham for his VP. Thus, the circle of Senatorial stupidity will be complete. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could vote, “try again” and the parties would have to start all over? You know I’m at the point where I just don’t care who wins.

I thought of a new hip way the Obama campaign can show off their crazy iconography skills. You know how candidates sometimes just use their initials, like W or GW? How about a cool icon thing with BO in it? What? It looks cool you just don’t get it, what’s so funny?

Comment from Mike
Time: August 23, 2008, 12:46 pm

God may not love ya, Miz W, but lots of us who also dwell in the cold, musty dungeon of his disdain hold you in very high regard indeed. Happy anniversary anyway.

Comment from God
Time: August 23, 2008, 8:04 pm

what? I still love you!

Comment from nbpundit
Time: August 24, 2008, 10:24 pm

Sorry about the cold Stoaty, keep it the hell away
from me.
Congrats on the un-recognition. You seem to have an
unique talent for those kinds of things.
Of course you can thumb your snout at them when
hitched over to the other side of the Pond. Heh™

Pingback from Daily Pundit » Hey – You Stink – Fix It!
Time: August 26, 2008, 11:42 am

[…] S. Weasel I was hired primarily to be an illustrator, back when that meant ink and magic markers and pretty, colorful crayons on paper. But an in-house shop does everything, so I also had to do paste-up and publications design, darkroom work, technical illustration, signage, floor plans…you name it. I once illustrated a Basic Hygeine for Retards book, because someone on the kitchen staff had horrible B.O. and everybody was afraid to tell him. […]

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