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And wet? My dear, the smell…

jaws

I took my poison ivy and my new cold for a spin on the river today. I rented a kayak with a bunch of friends. It was a GORGEOUS day — sunny, light breeze, low eighties. I’ve never paddled a kayak before, but I was pleasantly pleased that it wasn’t as tippy as I expected (cue music from Jaws).

I didn’t take a camera, which is just as well. After successfully paddling six and a half miles (per the GPS), I tipped the fucker over within fifty feet of shore. I was last one in, and my friends stupidly stood on the bank and watched me flail around uselessly for awhile before someone asked if I needed help. Frankly, I think those bastards were all laughing too hard to put back in.

Once the kayak tipped, it had next to no bouyancy. And I was wearing sneakers, so I had next to no traction.

Eh. My new GPS is (reasonably) watertight, and I had wisely left my wallet and stuff in the cargo area of somebody else’s kayak. Somebody not quite so retarded.

More booze, please.

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 23, 2008, 7:20 pm

Shit. I put this text in a comment in the thread below, and then realized I hadn’t posted a weekend weasel. So I did, and reposted the text and deleted my comment…errr…and the one above it. I think it was a PnB. Total accident, PnB.

Am I on a roll or am I on a roll?

 


Comment from Muslihoon
Time: August 23, 2008, 7:44 pm

Yep, it was PnB.

Nice to see you’re having, er, fun in the water.

 


Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: August 23, 2008, 7:46 pm

I spent a lot of time on ships but, I’ve got no use for kayaks. Hell, there ain’t even room for a trolling motor! 🙂

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 23, 2008, 8:05 pm

I used to have an inflatable dinghy I loved to bits. It was a Sevylor Fish-hunter. I could deflate it, roll it up and stick it in my two-seater convertible. Inflate it with a foot pump. I gave it to my real estate agent at the beginning of this horrible ordeal.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: August 23, 2008, 8:23 pm

Weasel, weasel, tennis shoes? Surfmocs are the way to go. What the heck, you fool Allen, you still surf? Oh, yeah, tasty waves, Zog’s Sex Wax. Water…

Da killer Kern.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kern_River

There be raftin’

 


Comment from Jessica
Time: August 23, 2008, 10:57 pm

Why is it that happens when you have an audience? I have tipped only once, and it was on one of those tour trips with a bunch of strangers. Also only 50 feet from shore – which is a good thing, since we were in Mt Hope Bay.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: August 23, 2008, 11:32 pm

Weasel, I had some Gray Goose tonight.

Went to Kennywood this afternoon – rode rollercoasters and ate amusement park food (cheese fries, hot dogs, Dippin’ Dots)…needed vodka.

Never been kayakin’…I don’t know how to swim. Deathly afraid of deep water…but I’ve been in a rowboat drifting down the Little Withlacoochee River.

Anyone who has the rocks to get into a kayak is a GOD to me.

*hic*

 


Comment from Allen
Time: August 24, 2008, 12:11 am

Jill, fair food!

OK I’ve never heard of that river before but it caused a laugh.

Allen what’s so damn funny?

Nuffink.

No really what’s so funny?

Are you sure you won’t be mad?

I won’t be mad.

Oh yes you will.

No I won’t, just tell me.

Well it’s the drifting along, With La CooChee.

Pig.

Yes’m

 


Comment from eddiebear
Time: August 24, 2008, 12:57 am

You should have pedal boated.

 


Comment from XBradTC
Time: August 24, 2008, 2:27 am

Nah, should have taken a Carnival Cruise.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2008, 6:53 am

Been doing something I don’t usually this morning: cruising DailyKos and HuffingtonPost, lookin’ for some discontent. There is some, but it’s still underripe.

They really think they have a winning issue with this “McCain’s seven houses” thing. Bringing keys to jingle at the convention whenever McCain’s name is mentioned, for example. I’m…not seeing it. There’s too much money on both sides to point to poverty as an especial qualification for office. But…whatever.

I could relax and enjoy this convention a lot more if I didn’t suspect McCain’s VP pick will but a gut punch.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2008, 7:06 am

Interesting. Software that uses still images to enhance video. They do a pretty convincing job adjusting values, repairing holes and actually removing things from moving footage. Watch the video.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2008, 8:13 am

Hm. Too “inside baseball” perhaps?

obama/biden

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2008, 8:20 am

Better…

hopeless & changeless

 


Comment from Machinist
Time: August 24, 2008, 12:38 pm

That second one’s going to leave a mark!

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: August 24, 2008, 1:03 pm

The real Neil Kinnock is an odious, unemployable, socialist windbag who, having lost an election a hatstand could have won, went on to become a professional leech at the EU, where he and his equally odious wife connected-up to the funding and sucked for many years. Oh, how they sucked!

Even coming from a nation that has produced so many vile, neo-communists (Wales), Kinnock is one of the worst – and is positively hated in England.

In other words, he’s a fine role model for someone running with the your man, Obama.

I try to keep out of US politics (which seem as depressing as ours) but the mere mention of Kinnock…

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: August 24, 2008, 1:27 pm

I don’t friggin get this seven houses business. Who in hell cares? He married an heiress. Those are her houses. I heard there are five, not seven and they are putting up some relatives in a couple of them. What, is he supposed to hand them over to the government as penance or maybe he is supposed to give them to Obama’s family members living in huts?
How come they didn’t make a big deal about John F’n Kerry’s many homes when he was running? And I still don’t care how many houses someone has.

A bigger deal can be made about Obama living in a million dollar mansion, bought at 300K under asking price from a felon slum landlord WHILE his relatives are living on 12 dollars a year. Can’t he send them 50 bucks so that they can have some ‘food insurance’ for a few years?
No worries, he has promised that he will make Africa his priority as president. Typical lib, instead of taking care of his own family, ALL of us will be made to pay.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: August 24, 2008, 1:31 pm

Weasel, you could throw in a Scargill reference. He’s still alive and kicking isn’t he? There’s no commie like an old commie.

I’ve been wandering around the leftosphere this AM. I never knew Joe Biden was such a great guy. I seem to be getting the impression that picking Biden proves how smart Obama really is. (Shaking head) Dude it’s Joe Biden. Everyone has known about him since like Watergate.

 


Comment from scubafreak
Time: August 24, 2008, 1:45 pm

I’m watching FOX do live coverage of the recreate ’68 rally today, and the protesters are trying to drive the Fox cameras away because, get this, THEY ARE BIASED AND DON’T GIVE THEM FAIR TIME!!!!!! LOLOLOL

Exqueeze me, but not only are they the ONLY channel I see giving live coverage of the rally, but they are TRYING to interview the leaders, who are too busy running away!!!!

What Morons….

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 24, 2008, 6:29 pm

monorailcat

 


Comment from Jill
Time: August 24, 2008, 8:39 pm

Hey…Joe Biden! Get a haircut!

Damn hippie.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: August 24, 2008, 9:34 pm

Allen, this link will tell you a bit about the Withlacoochee River in North Central Flordida…da…da:

http://gorp.away.com/gorp/publishers/menasha/pad_fln2.htm

Peeg.

🙂

 


Comment from Jill
Time: August 24, 2008, 9:36 pm

Humph. I went straight to Akismet.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

 


Comment from Allen
Time: August 24, 2008, 9:56 pm

Lummee, some Gumbo and some Skynyrd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgJyLCTPLwI

Smells good, almost ready, sounds good, need some refreshmins’, right over there.

It’s medicinal. Jack told me. Of course, if the term “Joe Biden’s Hairclub for Senators” doesn’t make you reach for a drink, you, Sir or Madam, have incredible will power.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: August 25, 2008, 1:17 pm

Skynryd. My favorite is ‘Simple Man’.

 


Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: August 25, 2008, 1:36 pm

***flicks mah Bick***

FREEEEEE BIIIIIRRRRD!!!

 

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