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I outted me :(

I hate clothes. I suppose there was a time when I were a lass that I felt differently, but most of my adult life I’d’ve been perfectly happy to wear a nun’s habit every day. Or Zuckerberg’s identical sweatshirts. I don’t care which.

The uniform I’ve landed on since moving here are these fisherman’s smock things. Heavy, come in a variety of colors, lots of useful big pockets. A pair of jeans and a comfy old t-shirt underneath and I just about solve the feeling comfy versus doesn’t look like a hobo equation.

So this morning, I spotted a glob of rain on the satellite headed my way and I thought to myself, “pff! I can outrun that!”

Gentle reader, I could not. I biked as hard as I could and arrived with the whole front half of me soaked to the skin. Fortunately, I get there ages before anyone else and I keep a spare pair of jeans under my desk. I stripped to my t-shirt, changed jeans and put everything on a radiator to sizzle.

The t-shirt I was wearing today? This one.

Oh, dear reader – I try so hard. I do my best to tone down the whole American thing. I never talk politics. I smile politely at the mention of Trump. I never chant U S A! U S A! (they really hate that, by the way). I strictly limit the number of dagnabbits and consarnits per conversation.

Guns! Freedom! Angry looking eagles! Oh, this wouldn’t do at all.

I got away with it. The first person in is terribly old and didn’t seem to notice. By the time I had to go to the corner shop for coffee, my smock was dry enough I could stand it. Not pleasant, but I could stand it.

Why couldn’t I have been wearing a t-shirt with a cat on it or something?

p.s. Deborah asked about Uncle B’s Cereus peruvianus which, when we visited it last, was about to come into flower. I believe the buds just…fell off. I’ll ask if he wants to add anything.

Comments


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 9, 2024, 7:06 pm

I have absolutely nothing to add other than that I suspect my cactus had paid a little visit to Planned Parenthood.


Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: September 9, 2024, 8:07 pm

Re: T-Shirt
[George Taki voice]
Oh My!

PS Where can I get one?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 9, 2024, 8:34 pm

T-shirt probably 30 years old.


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: September 9, 2024, 8:43 pm

You can take the girl out of America but you can’t take America out of the girl.


Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: September 9, 2024, 8:44 pm

The first priority for selecting a new sweat shirt top or smock or whatever is to make sure that the clothing item covers all your assorted weapons, from handgun to survival knife.

That’s just common sense these days!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Skandia R,

I would suggest looking on the NRA website for popular clothing items… nra.org


Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: September 9, 2024, 9:40 pm

Anyone have James Earl Jones? He passed to the next dimension this morning.


Comment from Pupster
Time: September 9, 2024, 10:14 pm

My t-shirts never last very long, I’m pretty hard on them I guess. Pupster Boy 1 wore my Zombie Reagan t-shirt to a family gathering once.

https://www.zazzle.com/help_us_zombie_reagan_t_shirt-235841027587292544


Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: September 9, 2024, 11:24 pm

Get wooly shirts, they stay warm when wet.

We could send you a “don’t California my Texas” t-shirt.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 10, 2024, 12:34 am

@Stoaty — I’m sure you’ve considered this and I’m curious why you don’t have a spare tee shirt and smock keeping your spare jeans company under your desk.

@Pupster — For long-lasting tee shirts, I can’t imagine anything else even close to Duluth Trading Co. longtail tees. I have a few that are about 20 years old. The necks haven’t stretched, they haven’t shrunk at all and so still cover my butt when I bend over (visible butt cracks’r bad, mmkay?). Pure, dense, heavyweight cotton. The only downside is that regular price is up over $20 apiece but they frequently go on sale for about $15-$16. No, I don’t own stock in the company and I’m not a paid tout!


Comment from Deborah HH
Time: September 10, 2024, 1:59 am

I like your Fisherman’s Smock, Stoaty. I can see why it would be a comfortable and practical daily “uniform.” I may look for something similar over here for my family for Christmas.


Comment from M
Time: September 10, 2024, 2:18 pm

I think this is a fundamental difference in American and British humor. Yes, Americans do think America and guns are awesome, but it’s also a joke.

Americans poke fun at themselves in a positive way and even take ridicule of us and spin it as absurdist positivism. “America, fvcking yeah!” British humor isn’t like that. They are more about social cringe and sad sacks. Run rabbit run.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 10, 2024, 8:22 pm

@M:

British humor isn’t like that. They are more about social cringe and sad sacks.

Hmm. Educate me, please. Was Benny Hill social cringe or sad sack?

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