sweasel.com

Premier BJs? as opposed to run-of-the-mill ones? but where’s the beach

Yes, the place looked like it sucked.

ba-dum-bump

Yeah, well for 20 quid more, you can have sex on the beach…

“Yeah, well for 20 quid more, you can have sex on the beach…”

Well, not being familiar with England and surrounds, I may be gullible, but was once told there was a Frenchman placed under arrest by the authorities for making love to a dead woman on one of the beaches on the Isle of Wight. When arraigned before a magistrate, he explained that he did not realise the lady had gone to her reward but rather thought that her unresponsiveness was due to the fact that she was English.

Войска ПВО, that is a vile calumny against the flower of our womanhood. Inform them that there is a chip supper at the end of the deed and they will be as enthusiastic as anything. Besides, you were pretty easy to penetrate after you changed your name from ПВО страны. Just ask Mathias Rust.

If that’s a franchise, Starbucks is dead.

Oh. Ah. Duh!
See, there is an entity (dunno if it’s a franchise) in the Northeast quadrant of the US (where I live) called “BJ’s Wholesale Club”–one of those deals where you pay for a membership in order to get what are alleged to be enormous discounts on all merchandise. Until I googled it just now I hadn’t realized it wasn’t a worldwide phenomenon (ooooooh, how provincial we can be without knowing it!), so I kept trying to figure out the connection between BJWC and that um, convenience store?

Now I’m never going to be able to look at BJWC (which I detest to begin with) the same–and I’m never going to be able to explain to anyone who hears me just why it makes me giggle. Thank you, sweasel!

I used to get mailings from BJ’s all the time when I was in Rhode Island, Can’t Hark. Made me laugh every time.

The “play here” sign in front compliments it nicely.

Mathias Rust is a hard sort to figure out. I can’t really decide whether I like him or not.

Reminds me of the True Facts section in National Lampoon. My favorite photos were the ones of “Three Brothers (or Cousins) Pizza” somehow always showing four grinning guys. Always gives me a chuckle. National Lampoon, may you rest in peace.

I almost sent them a picture like that once. It was a local shop in rural Tennessee called “Walker’s Shoes and Cheese.” No shit. My mother went in once and asked how it happened and they said, “well, we were a shoe store, and one day somebody gave us a cooler.”

She always threatened to open “Betty’s Socks and Crackers” next door.

Heh. I hadn’t thought of that in years.

You can google anything!
Shoes & Cheese

Oh, man, weird shop names! There used to be a place in my hometown called “Lord Jim’s Archery Den and Dollhouse Miniatures.” And Wisconsin folksinging duo Lou and Peter Berryman (um, warning! Liberals!)swear they once saw a sign for a store featuring “Taxidermy & Cheese.” A truly scary thought. . .

“Shoes and Cheese” that’s funny. There’s this place in SC where you can pick up a saddle for your horse and the ladies can get the latest in wedding dresses.

Beats the heck out of me

Holy shit, Dawn — that’s it!!! Smithville is the big city, by the way. It’s where I took my driver’s license test, and where I registered my mother’s will. I registered to vote there the last time I visited my folks in Tennessee.

Brings a tear to my eye, that does. Not quite like taxidermy and cheese, though.

Oh as an addition you have to see this from the same place.

Sleepwear for horses

Talk about spooking the horses. Scroll down.

Would horses really like being wrapped up like gaudy nylon sausages, Allen? Dogs would stoically endure it and cats would flip out utterly.

They would endure it, you can put darn near anything over them if they trust you and they get to sniff it first.

However, the owner who did it would probably be in for some serious mockery. My fav was the Horsey Hoodie. Now that takes some serious derangement.

You can google anything!

“Not ‘taxidermy & cheese'” I said to myself. “Not bloody likely–that was probably just some shacky little roadside place with a handpainted sign.” So of course I tried.

Silly me: http://www.yale.edu/perception/Brian/misc/photos/cheese.html

David Giles writes:

“..that is a vile calumny against the flower of our womanhood.”

For this transgression, I am heartily sorry. I meant it as a narrative of a funny I had heard earlier not as an indictment of English ladies.

As for my perverse sobriquet, I admit to being a dilettante who speaks no Russian (but reads a lot of Tom Clancy) and who, in my younger years, as a commissioned officer in the USAF, worked for the Strategic Air Command and whose cold war opponents were members of the very same Voyska PVO.

..as for Rust, I am sure Gary Powers would have traded places with him. Shorter sentence; lower profile. Although they seem to both have ahd a star-crossed life after their incursion into the USSR. Powers was killed in 1977 on an RTB after covering forest fires in a news helicopter.

I would have stopped…

There’s a shop in Wick, Caithness, that sells cakes and electrical goods.