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DPlot thickens

You know how I was bitching in my last post about no longer owning any graphing software? Well, a very nice bloke took notice (he has a Google Alerts set for “graphing software”) and offered me a free license to his graphing software program DPlot.

It’s my policy never to say no to free stuff. It’s my policy now, anyway — I didn’t have to have a policy before, since nobody ever offered me any free stuff. So I downloaded DPlot, followed the simple installation instructions, and in no time at all, I was feeling severely mentally retarded.

Seriously, it’s all math and shit. I know some of you are actual engineers and science type peeps, so you should probably mosey over and check it out. I mean, he’s an awfully nice guy and he’s got testimonials from other nerds saying how great his program is. I know you poindexters don’t dare lie to each other, on account of your huge brains, so it’s probably pretty good at whatever the hell it does.

Look! I made boobies!


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 14, 2010, 6:53 pm

Speaking of Boobies…



Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: January 14, 2010, 7:10 pm

Do I detect a double dip?

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: January 14, 2010, 7:31 pm

No spreadsheet proggy around? Open Office is free and has a spreadsheet you can do graphing with–> http://www.openoffice.org/

Actually, the Lotus Symphony one is free too–> http://symphony.lotus.com/software/lotus/symphony/home.nsf/home

Comment from Allen
Time: January 14, 2010, 8:00 pm

I already have it, I think it’s pretty righteous stuff. It’s kind of like a graphical version of Mathematica.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 14, 2010, 8:15 pm

I’m allergic to spreadsheets, QuasiModo. I dropped out of the chart making biz ’round about when Corel abandoned Corel Chart (I was a beta tester for them a thousand years ago).

Mostly now I just plot things by hand using Illustrator or P’shop.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: January 14, 2010, 10:29 pm

The next mark on the Z-axis is “G” – for grotesque. I’ve seen breasts like that, on an otherwise normal woman, and they are not attractive.

When I was at college 35 years ago, there was a woman who was known around campus as “54 inches”. Once I was in the (old, dingy) weights room at the gym: she came in, and fooled around with some barbells for a while. She was a little overweight, maybe 15 pounds not counting the hooters; and fairly ordinary looking otherwise, so I’m just about certain they were natural. Later my dad was visiting and she walked past us in the student union. Conversation stopped dead till she was out of sight around a corner. Then my dad said “I see it, but I don’t believe it.”

When I think back, I feel sorry for that woman; I hope she was able to get surgery or something so she wouldn’t be a freak.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: January 14, 2010, 10:38 pm

Allen, Mathematica is pretty damn graphical all on its own. And it’s only $300 for non-commercial users now (it’s $2500 if you’re using it in anger). DPlot certainly looks pretty good. It’s a given that if it can be envisaged, with sufficient grunting and squealing Mathematica can be made to plot it*. But sometimes having a dedicated app is easier. Gnuplot is surprisingly powerful, if a little harder to drive.

Are you a Mac user, Stoaty? If so, the free Grapher application is actually quite good for function plotting, although for plotting datasets you need something else.

* I got the Central England Temperature dataset from the Met Office and I’m going to torture it in Mathematica this weekend. A quick shufti at it reveals a mean of 9.22 °C with a standard deviation of 0.66 °C. A straightforward linear fit yields 4.48 + 0.00258 x for x in [1659,2009]. That’s 0.26 °C per century. I’m definitely going to look at Luboš Motl’s technique of binning trends and seeing if there’s anything significant in the recent past (Mathematica’s Manipulate[] function is cool for stuff like this.)

Comment from weirdsister
Time: January 14, 2010, 10:52 pm

Shouldn’t that be the Barbara Eden scale? 😉

Comment from steve
Time: January 14, 2010, 11:04 pm

On a completely different topic than graphing software, and such…

It would appear that a weasel has taken possession of the BING.com picture thingie…..

Mayhaps a long lost relative of yourn?

Comment from Cuffy Meigs
Time: January 14, 2010, 11:43 pm

Hey Stoaty, go check out the Bing homepage rightnowthisverysecond!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 14, 2010, 11:51 pm

LOL… Cute.

Comment from d3ft punk
Time: January 15, 2010, 1:02 am

I have screenshotted said homepage as to realize that Bing.com actually wants my business (unlike another search engine that tends to never speak to me as far as things I care about goes).

And, on a meta note, so many people are linking to Bing.com for its weaselness that Bing.com is one of the top search results for weasel. Awesome.

I. AM. WEASEL. was one of the worst shows of all time. Sorry, Michael Dorn.

Comment from Deborah
Time: January 15, 2010, 2:31 am

Oh my—Mark Eden. The pups reading here have no idea! I had a girlfriend who ordered from Mark Eden and had it sent to MY house. And the hilarity ensued—because I had a world class bosom at age 14, while she was still in a training bra. And is there any more insulting phrase than “training bra?”

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 15, 2010, 2:17 pm

Training bra. Huh. Yeah. Train them to do what, exactly?

I read a hilarious article once about the research the Post Office had to go through to prove Mark Eden a fraud. It involved ingenious custom boob-measuring devices and some very solemn scientists.

The weasel is off Bing. And there’s a sentence I not only never anticipated typing, but would not have comprehended, in the dim and distant past.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 15, 2010, 5:15 pm

Yay for A and B cups! 🙂

Comment from BigBlueBug
Time: January 15, 2010, 5:29 pm

I would love to find low cost mathematics software that could read Maple files. There are all sorts of cool online courses where you need the Maple software to experience the deluxness. Maple and its merry band of add on modules are expensive. I tried passing myself off as a student, for the discount, but they want proof and junk.

There’s a really nice Maple model of Wave functions for a one dimensional quantum harmonic oscillator between the plates of a capacitor. I could probably still solve the DE by hand and graph the functions manually; but that would require like a zillion integrations by parts and I’m old now.

Comment from d3ft punk
Time: January 15, 2010, 6:03 pm

By the way, it took me the seventh or eighth time I looked at those letters beside the graph to figure out that you were talking about cup sizes. I honestly can’t tell the difference between any of those, other than FAKE and small.

It’s like art: I have no idea what I’m looking at, but I know that if I want to touch it it’s gonna cost me money.

And you can go back to previous day’s images by clicking the arrows on the bottom right of the image area.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: January 15, 2010, 11:25 pm

Training bra. Huh. Yeah. Train them to do what, exactly?

I always kindof assumed it was training the young female to put up with the chafing and hefting. . .and to give her practice in adjusting the straps in public as unnoticeably as possible. . .

Totally OT. . .I have a request. Pretty please, could “wanna rassle” be on Zazzle? Don’t think I’d have the courage to wear the t-shirt outside the home, but I’d purely adore to own one. . .

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 15, 2010, 11:49 pm

Someone might take you up on the offer to wrassle…

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: January 16, 2010, 10:31 am

Yup. Among other dangers.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 16, 2010, 11:57 am

Including the words? It would have to be totally rejiggered for print, of course.

Odd as this admission may sound, I’ve never really known what the appeal of that image is.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: January 16, 2010, 1:05 pm

It’s spunky. In this we-are-family day and age, anyone showing the faintest sign of captiousness is a breath of fresh air.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: January 16, 2010, 3:50 pm

It’s the endearlingly lopsided facial expression–combined with the captious caption. . .Yeah, I was hoping for the words as well, although without the words I suppose it would be safe to wear anywhere. Pretty much. Anyway, if it’s going to be a major pain, I can just go on giggling at it in the sidebar.

Comment from AwesomeDude
Time: July 23, 2010, 4:35 pm

@BigBlueBug. There are home versions available for 25% cost of the professional … To the owner of this: Yeah dplot is pretty cool $#!t … profanity sucks! Tastes like burning. What are you gonna do? Send your bees after me, or your dogs, or your dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

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