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Say, is that a stoat in the refrigerator, or…

Tomorrow I’m going to see something I haven’t seen in over a year: morning!

They’re delivering a new fridge some time between seven in the morning and seven in the evening (nice of them to narrow it down for us). I’m taking the morning shift.

Our old fridge died two days before Christmas. Not flat out died, mind you. It just started storing food at dangerously high temperatures. We’ve spent the last month asking ourselves, “is this the fatal duckliver paté?”

We always meant to get a larger fridge anyhow. The standard around here are those little bar-sized Euro-fridges. (My mother once called me up after watching some BBC comedy and asked me why the lady kept putting the milk in the dishwasher).

This isn’t exactly the honkin’ huge Body Cooler 3000 my folks have back in the States, but it’s substantially bigger than the old one. I think that’s the actual make and model there in the picture.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have mayonnaise to throw out.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 18, 2010, 5:44 pm

Question is, if you put a stoat in the fridge, does it turn white? Or does it just eat all the ham and poop in the vegetable crisper?

Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Comment from Blast Hardcheese
Time: January 18, 2010, 6:26 pm

So if a tall guy in a black cloak, wielding a farming implement and TALKING LIKE THIS comes to the door asking about the salmon mousse, just tell him you gave at the office.

Then shut the door, and run. You do have a back door, right?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 18, 2010, 6:49 pm

We have THREE back doors, but two of them are blocked.

I wouldn’t have caught that one without Uncle B’s assistance.

Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: January 18, 2010, 7:11 pm

Just be careful. The last fridge of my dreams was delivered and sent back the same day. We realized it fit in the kitchen great, but we just couldn’t open the doors! Stupid is as stupid does. (Measure twice and cut once, or something like that.)

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 18, 2010, 7:22 pm

Avoid the Salmon Mousse, indeed.

Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: January 18, 2010, 7:34 pm

Cograts, madame Weasel.

Massachusettes [sic] will see something it hasn’t seen quite a while as well: a Republican senator in Snorkel Boy’s senate seat.

..and, apropos of tomorrow’s anticipated victory and your appliance arrival, one could conceivably unleash the late Chick Hearn’s Laker victory mantra: “This game’s in the refrigerator, the eggs are cooling, the butter is getting hard, and the Jello is jiggling.”

Comment from armybrat
Time: January 18, 2010, 8:14 pm

B…..(sorry, I’m pretty computer illiterate and can’t figure out how to do cyrillic script) I will be one of those pulling a lever tomorrow to make the MA miracle happen and strike fear in the black hole that exists for a dem heart. Long live the Republic!
And weas….that ice box wouldn’t hold all of my condiments, let alone the beer. Where do you put the beer?! My wine has it’s own cooler….so it’s all about the beer!!!!!!

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: January 18, 2010, 8:25 pm

When I lived in Thetford we had one of those tiny fridges. When I finally got into base housing at Lakenheath, I bought a big’un at the BX. . . heaven!

Comment from EZnSF
Time: January 18, 2010, 9:25 pm

Wish I had a new frig. Hell, wish the one I have was half as clean. Stuffed to the gills and hardly a bit of it edible. Tomorrow.

Armybrat, thanks for your vote to save the country! Do you really think it’ll happen? I’m gonna need a case of beer to get through it tomorrow. Hence, the need to clean the frig.

Comment from Mr. Matamoros
Time: January 18, 2010, 10:13 pm

I’ve got a bottle of tequila waiting for the results of tomorrow’s election…I’m going to toast the Republic and the patriots in MA…thank you, armybrat, I hope your state will put the Fear into BO and his cronies.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: January 18, 2010, 11:01 pm

I live on my own and have a 500 liter (18 cu. ft.) fridge, plus an 85 liter beer fridge. The big one’s packed to the gunwhales. I can’t imagine how I lived with titchy UK fridge-freezers. On the other hand, when you live in the tropics, the range of food that needs refrigeration expands (bread acquires a startling viridian hue after two days on a countertop.)

When I am very rich I’ma git me one of them double-wide Sub Zeros.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: January 19, 2010, 12:15 am

LOL.. Did anyone catch that Natalie Portman is going to Produce and star in “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” in 2011?


Comment from Allen
Time: January 19, 2010, 1:34 am

Woohoo, Weasel! I just installed the new stove at my fiance’s house, the new multi-function convection/microwave oven to arrive on Thursday. I do love our new carbon footprint.

So yes, we had a kind of giggle moment, “look at the power burner that includes the 30 inch wok.” Holy crap we can heat the house with that sucker.

Hey, did I mention the new toilets I installed? Now someone explain to me what a high flush rating is. But, according to the label they will flush a golfball while saving water. Creepy.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 19, 2010, 3:03 am

Whoa! Would you look at that? Pitch black at 6:30, getting distinctly light by 7.

England looks kinda neat in the early a.m.

Comment from Deborah
Time: January 19, 2010, 11:10 am

9:10 am here. Is it there?

Comment from Dawn
Time: January 19, 2010, 12:48 pm

Tell us how it felt armybrat. I want to live vicariously.

I got a call from the McCain campaign two days ago asking if I was definitely, probably, or maybe going to vote for him in the primary. He’s running ads in Arizona for the first time I can remember.

Oh and grats on your food’s new digs.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: January 19, 2010, 2:10 pm

“The standard around here are those little bar-sized Euro-fridges. “

‘US-style’ fridges are becoming a little more common, but they don’t fit too well in the usual poky UK-style flat…

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: January 19, 2010, 2:59 pm

That is one really huge stoat. Or a tiny fridge. Granted a real size one would be tough to spot on the shelf.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: January 19, 2010, 3:18 pm

That is one really huge stoat.

Mr. Taylor, it’s not nice to call attention to a lady’s (or lady weasel’s) weight.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 19, 2010, 3:37 pm

Yeah. Pretend it’s a mink. Or a fisher cat. A correctly-scaled stoat wouldn’t be much bigger’n a stick of butter.

Yes, it got here around nine. So I took a nap, and then we went out and bought a bunch of shit to put in it. It hasn’t cooled down to temp yet, and Uncle B is already fretting about it.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: January 19, 2010, 4:16 pm

If it’s a Luak (Palm Civet), then you can sell the droppings in Japan for a HUGE profit……

Comment from Gromulin
Time: January 19, 2010, 5:03 pm

Um…where’s the freezer in that thing??

You are allowed to freeze things there right? Or are frozen foods considered weapons? 🙂

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: January 19, 2010, 5:35 pm

You can certainly get fridge/freezers here — in fact, you can get a hellaciously big American-style fridge/freezer if you look around a bit — but separates are pretty common. We have two small chest freezers on the other side of the kitchen.

Comment from JC
Time: January 19, 2010, 6:31 pm

It looks to me as if it’s got one of those damn metric egg holder thingies (cozies? coddles?) that holds a good metric 10 eggs. Not a dozen, the way God intended.
And that door rack certainly won’t hold a full half-gallon of milk or Dr. Pepper (do you get that over there, by the way?)
Hell, the thing is probably EU-registered to reject any container not in litres/liters. Which one of those is the official metric spelling, anyway?

Comment from Deborah
Time: January 19, 2010, 6:55 pm

I’d fill up my new refrigerator with Devonshire cream. (I’ve been looking at recipes for making my own, but I don’t think it will taste as good.)

Comment from Gromulin
Time: January 19, 2010, 7:23 pm

…metric spelling…

Now THATS f’n funny.

It’d go great with a metric clock.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: January 20, 2010, 11:02 pm

The fridge in my rented house is about that size (sans Stoat), but it’s way too small. AB needs one whole fridge for beer, I need one for Diet Coke.

Comment from Greg
Time: January 21, 2010, 1:16 pm

Martin Luther King, Jr. may judge a person by the contents of their CHARACTER, but I judge them by the contents of their FRIDGE! And my Lord, you’ve got a weasel in yours! After I pick myself off the ground laughing about that “dishwasher comment” by your mother, I have to ponder, in true American shallowness, if the size of one’s fridge is not truly the measure of greatness of a nation.

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