sweasel.com

I had a long, weird spam in the filter about an herbal breast enhancement product. A sample:

As I understood, the breast will get bigger and fuller within month and absolutely no side effects. Amazing, right ? sorry for off-topic. And indeed, it works like a charm. Alison got that “teen” look of her skin, and adorable fluffy boobs.

Adorable fluffy boobs. This is what comes of trying to con people in a language you don’t speak.

‘That thumping sound you hear is my grandmother. In heaven. Wagging her tail.’

Thank fuck for that. Thought I was having my first heartattack.

Ah, Alison and her amazing fluffy boobs – that takes me back.

Intriguing. Google.co.uk just threw up this search string:

“Flight 93″+pin+note+tree

Anybody heard any rumors? If this is Truther bullshit, I’m gonna bite somebody.

The Ethal Merman Disco Album! Groooowwwwwllll.

I think they have a surgery for Alison’s problem?

What’s wrong with amazing fluffy boobs? With the right conditioner, they’re thicker, farther, and can last all night.

BTW, Weez: In case you haven’t found this guy yet, here’s The Rut.

Oops, I forgot to mention I stole that site from Drunkablog.

Oh, that’s a good one, JW. I’m going to have to blogroll that guy…

YESSSSSS!!!! I am now the top Google search for “peanut lady fuck”! IN YOUR FACE, you other “peanut lady fuck” sites! You know, if there were any.

Man, that was fast. Google must be hittin’ on me constantly.

I first saw her from afar, glimmering softly like the first star of the evening, in the smoky light of the Honky Tonk club.

“What a beauty!”, my reptile brain thought.

It was that primal. I started to move towards her warmth… led by the snake brain that leads all men towards a dangerous woman. I was fascinated. She was irresistible. I wanted her – and nothing else – and now. Desperately.

Then, I had to go closer, oblivious to the other large creatures who were also creeping towards her – the other predators drawn to her scent…… dangerous brutes, all of them. Leather-clad, tattooed and scarred savages. The hell with that – the prize to be won was too great to worry about the possibility of death in the claiming. I had to have her. Now. Here

Yes, it was the Peanut Fuck Lady….. yes…. yes… yesss.. My tongue flickered across my lips like the serpent that I was…tasting each molecule of her scent in the smoky air.

There. Now you have Peanut Fuck Lady porn….. for those who come searching, lured in by the moth light of your Google Trap.

Yes, it was the Peanut Fuck Lady….. yes…. yes… yesss.. My tongue flickered across my lips adorable fluffy boobs like the serpent that I was…tasting each molecule of her scent in the smoky air.

If you’re gonna do “peanut lady fuck” porn, you can’t forget the “adorable fluffy boobs.”

I mean, after all, we have weaselly standards to live down to.

Hmmph.

Adorable Fluffy Boobs.

http://www.heaven666.org/man-boobs.jpg

Oh Gibby – that was too awful for words.

Ha HA! For once, the work filter did me a favor. I got the big red hand instead of the picture.

The peanut lady fuck porn, though? Nice.

I always thought Cindy was a cutie

Going downhill is one thing but starting at the bottom and descending is a pretty neat trick.
Peanut lady fuck to fluffy boobs to man boobs. Yikes!
Gawd, I love this place.

Are peanut lady fuck T-shirts available yet? I want one. Oh heck, gimme two. And tomorrow will wonder what the hell I was thinking. And they’ll end up in a drawer never to be worn. And will get used to wax the car.

I do not apologize for the above. It’s Friday. And that is a far better excuse than any politician can come up with. For anything.

She was rumored to be a bitch on wheels, though.

A decade or so ago, while attending the Comic-Con in San Diego, I bought a black tee-shirt that said “Marvel Can Suck My Cock!”

And yes, Good-idea-at-the-time though it inarguably was, I have yet to wear it.

And yes, I’m aware of how dweeby attending Comic-Con is. Bite me.

I went to the Star-Trek convention in San Diego 10 years ago, but I was a drug addict then. It was surreal.

sounds like a bad trip, man. Bummer.

I went to a Star Trek convention ten years ago in Connecticut, Dawn. Trust me, it wasn’t the drugs.

Also, I beg to remind you, I went to the 30th Anniversary Cast Reunion of Lost in Space, which is where geek and camp and playskool get together have a ménage à trois. We’re the people nerds pity.

Hey! I just got an email from micturate addressed to micturated with the subject line “micturates, micturating, micturation.”

I think they’re just taking the piss.

I’d be pretty micturated if I was you, Weez.

I was was just gonna say, “Well, piss on ’em!”

Is this the site where I can get plenty of Peanut Lady fuck pictures?

Peanut Lady fuck you long time, chunky-style.

I just gave myself an oogie with that mental image.

Scotch will help that oogie, jw. That, or a medicinal wedgie administered by qualified hospital staff.

I’m thinking Purple Prose contest, jw, starring Peanut Lady at a Star trek or Comic-con conference. Lokki started it off, already.

No, I’m not gonna go there. Wouldn’t be prudent.

What a micturater.

Peanut lady must inhabit the same universe as mister tally man. And spastic colon girl.

It is a painful, mathematical place…but curiously delicious.

Fearing the other conventioneers would guess her terrible secret, the Peanut Lady huddled near the Pointy Ears booth, licking a grape snowcone. Her tongue, already a ghastly purple, flicked over the cone’s pebbly surface; eyes closed in something akin to ecstasy. Thus employed, the Peanut Lady was unaware of the keen interest in her lingual endeavors shown by the Klingon-bemasked stranger loitering at the Help kiosk.

The stranger closed the short distance between himself and the Peanut Lady. Pausing to remove the tribble lei from his neck, the stranger cleared his throat.

Oh, I’m sorry, you did want embarrassingly bad purple prose, right?

Wouldn’t surprise me, I think all actresses are probably painfully obnoxious and egotistical or so fragile of self esteem she is like an emotional black hole. Ritchie Cunningham’s sister was always cute to me too: Joanie. And I liked Whatserface on Buck Rogers, Erin Gray’s spandex-wearing character. Never watched Charlie’s Angels.

Is there any other kind, jw?

Now that I’ve hurled down the gauntlet I have to bail out – my peaceful evening has been pre-empted by visiters. Crap.

I just knoooow they’re stayin’ the weekend. Bye.

Have fun, Steamboat. Remember Franklin’s warning: Fish and houseguests stink after two days, especially if the houseguests are fish.

Note to self: be sociable. Invite some fish over.

Juxtaposition time. PLF and high art.
Any PLF haikus out there? I’d try to write one but always end up with an extra syllable or twelve.

Wow, must be getting old. I typed PLF without even thinking that parachute landing falls (PLFs) were pounded into us for weeks at airborne school.

Peanut Lady fucks
Wherever and whenever
Winter, Spring, and Fall.*

* We’ve all been forgetting a reference to seasons.

Summer finds PL
Hoisting skirt for airborne boys
Happy landings, kids!

I may have an early out! I told my drop-ins I was writing a story about a Peanut Fuck-Lady (Hey! Literary license and all that crap!) and her adorable fluffy snooch (yes – more license).

They looked askance at me. Serious askance.

(I love being looked askance at).

Maybe they’ll leave early. I do not want to socialize now! I just got back in town and I want to unlax!

Peanut Lady haiku! Look what I’m missing!

Reference to seasons! JW know him some haiku!

Peanut Lady tales
Always get Steamboat McGoo
Looked at askancely.

Mention seasons, boy!
Writing Peanut Lady ‘ku
Or no fuck for you!

There once was a Weasel we knew.
Who hosted a site of fun-stew.
She snoozed on the weekends
Which had some bad portends–
She awoke with a blog full of ‘ku!

<squints at JW and pours another two fingers of rutgot>

snicker.

Maury done told her
who be dat baby daddy…
Peanut says it’s you

Come spring you will see
dat baby don’t look like me
Lady gets around

Oh, VER-Y nice, Dawn. Brava!

Sweasel. As Musli says…You make my heart garden garden.

Today is my birthday, but I will be in a seminar all day. I hope I learn something.

Many happy returns Dawn.

Happy birthday! A Saturday seminar? Blech!

Happy Birthday Dawn!

I suspect that what you’ll learn today is not to go to seminars on your birthday…

When you hit the top of the adorable fluffy search rankings, I hope you won’t forget the insignificant peons wallowing in a quagmire of envy at the bottom of the pile, because–

Er.

I can’t think of a good reason why. D’Oh!

Enjoy the view.
🙂