sweasel.com

Margaret Hilda Thatcher, Baroness Thatcher, LG, OM, PC, FRS

Robert Byrd!

John Wooden!

(And now, finally….I will haz me a spotted dick! WooHoo! And no having to debase myself with begging and groveling “Pleeze, Miz Weasel, stuff me with your spotted dick!)

Once again: Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi in the drawing room with the candlestick.

I’m sticking with America’s oldest teenager, Dick Clark…

BTW: You site-reloadin’ sumbitches! I was gonna be first!!!!

I’m sticking to al Qaeda dudes.

Ayman Al-Zawahiri, with a Hellfire, in his cave.

Jimmah Carter!

Dammit, Steve, I had Wooden in the last round and you are just too quick. 🙂

Clint Eastwood. And I hope I don’t win.

I didn’t have a CLUE who John Wooden was, steve, but I wouldn’t dare deny you the pick this time…after the whole timestamp fiasco ‘n’ all.

ESPN says he’s resting comfortably, though.

Brett Michaels from POISON. One of those strokes has got to hit home eventually…..

No, he’s not — he’ll be stone dead in a moment.

BTW…..Generalissimo Francisco Franco is not only “resting comfortably”….but he is also “in stable condition”.

Mrs. Beasley. Still blames herself for Buffy’s overdose back in 76. She’s very frail now.

Terribly sad.

again, Ruby Muhammad. a religous fanatic who has lived to the dusty old age of 104.)(lemme know if that’ll work or not.)

again, Ruby Muhammad. a religous fanatic who has lived to the dusty old age of 104.(lemme know if that’ll work or not.)

whoops…. duplicates…. stupid internet…

Well….Just plain fuck!

John Wooden passed his expiration date three hours ago…

So, I guess ESPN was correct….he is (as with Francisco Franco) “resting comfortably”.

On to plan “B”

OK….

Dolores Hope!

Widow of Bob Hope.

And if she doesn’t qualify as being “celebrity” enough….

Mitch Miller!

lol steve…. you have horrible luck…

Kieth Richards, if looks are any clue. . .

Kirk Douglas…and I happened to be at the hospital with my MIL when the nurses were speaking of Rue McClanhan. I mentioned the dead pool and got only disapproving looks. No sense of humor, nurses.

To Monotone (The Elderish):

Born under a bad sign, I guess!

Helen Thomas! Fuck yeah!

Liz Taylor.

Man….

If you can’t believe what you read on the internet, it just means that the terrorists have already won.

It now appears that John Wooden is not dead yet…..

I hereby relinquish:

Dolores Hope, widow of Bob Hope.

And if she doesn’t qualify as being “celebrity” enough; I relinquish Mitch Miller, too!

Rip Torn… again… someday…

sheesh steve, you need better intellegence people….

But I read it!

On the INTERNET!

I will grant you, it wasn’t one of those really really sooper accurate all the time on every topic web sites like the New York Times or Wikipedia….

But still!

Jack Lalane. All that working out has to kill him eventually.

Herb Alpert, his brass is old.

This time around I’ll take Fidel Castro….they say only the good die young but it’s about time we lose a bad guy instead of some loveable character.

Betty Ford. Bless.

Dan Rather.

I’ll go with Louis “Calypso Louie” Farrakhan. No doubt the CIA has some nefarious plan in motion as we speak, or maybe it was the FBI, or the BBC, or the NAACP, I forget.

Noam Chomsky. Like I said the last time, if we can get rid of Howard Zinn surely we can get rid of the Chomsker.

Apologies to those few folks who got stuck in the spam filter. Did anybody lose a pick?

Bob Barker. crusty old creep.

dammmm it you bastards stole that piece of shit helen thomas…. but i guess she’s too evil to die anyway…

i love clint eastwood and hope my pessimistic thoughts don’t help P.bernie

ok …

MJ Fox…..

but if algore dies with a unicorn horn up his ass… i want “the win”…

Since I can’t win, I’m going back to making a statement instead.

Charles Johnson of Little Green Somethingorother blog “fame.” Of despair over the fact that his new progressive “friends” don’t seem to like his stance on the Gaza blockade thingie.

Keef Olberbabbleman, PLEASE

Dang it Dreadneck.
David Hasselhoff.
Oh and hopefully some more POSs from the Rachel Corrie.

B.B. King (next in the series of old, fat musicians)

Fats Domino just won’t kick off.

Yeah, I know she’s not actually going to die, since the last sixty-thousand years haven’t done her in, but I really want her to die. Poetic justice would be “in the shower, with the oven on”.

Hey all, super long time lurker here:

My vote goes to Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Weasel, you’re the best!

I’m with ya, Neck Beard. You beat me to the ancient hag, but if she dies, the world will be better off, and that’s what really matters.

My (2nd) choice: Harry Belafonte.

Prince Phillip
In bed with another woman
The Queen with a shotgun
Imagine the headlines

Pablo, I’ve already claimed Robert Byrd throughout all future rounds until I actually win.

However, since my Safeway has a Limey section, I don’t actually need the prize. You can have it.

Dear “Bob”

Read rule number two again.

Erdogan. He seems to be writing checks the Turkish military can’t cash, and they’ve a history of intervening when they don’t like the direction things are going in Turkey.

Picking Amy Winestein isn’t really cheating, is it? Looking dead is different than being dead, even if you’re a zombie, right?

Somebody needs to grab Netanyahu: he’s bound to visit DC someday and when he does Helen Thomas’s host body will probably crack open like one of those alien eggs and the tiny lizard inside will leap out and snap his head off.

Netanyahu is too ridiculously good looking to die.

Seve Ballesteros. Brain tumor not a good thing.

Hot damn she made it to friday………..

Lindsey Lohan………..

rufffffffff looking of late!!

Hugh Hefner!

Mike Wallace. Dude is like, 95 or so.

Lawrence Eagleburger

I am going with Billy Graham again, as I am careless of my everlasting soul.

I’m a little new to this, but I think I will go with James Garner.

Frank Zappa.

What?

oh my….spent the evening drinking with the husband and came home to find out that Larry King is still up for grabs…well in the platonic, dead pool kind of way. So I’m taking Larry King on the husband’s advice.

So, CNN.com is reporting now that Wooden has died… I’m starting to think this here dead pool has some sort of Steven King “will it to happen” thing going on… They’re dropping like flies!

Todd Bridges…..

you know he has to be feeling the pressure…..

tick, tock…
………….. tick, tock….

(three of a perfect pair)

if someone low jacks “Lips” Jagger does that count….?

Liz Taylor or Miley Cyrus.

Gromulin, you son of a bitch, BB was mine! I tell you Mine!
So WTF, Angus Young. But I want BB Back, you understand!

Looks like steve wins another quickie, John Wooden is officially pinin’ for the fijords.

I need to do better research this week if I wants to get me some dick.

Albert “Arnold” (the pig)Gore Jr….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7NHWKbQuRw

Hmph. Some little trollish elrik swooped in and stole Jack LaLanne on me, but didn’t spell it right so I’m going to steal it back in the next pool. (Besides, as LaLanne said, “I can’t die, it would tarnish my image!” and besides, anybody drinks that much juice is gonna be standing on jet propulsion for weeks after he kicks it anyway, so nobody will know.)

So in the meantime, lets go Henry Waxman, with a bus, in a crosswalk! That is, if steve isn’t already dicked up with Wooden.

That is, if steve isn’t already dicked up with Wooden.

That is so. fucking. beautiful. When I am Lord and Ruler, you will be poet laureate.

Gotta go with Barbara Billingsly. She is 94, and we all know that Ward was really hard on the “beaver”.

Just go ahead and send me the spotted dick now.

Stoatie, did anyone grab John Wooden? he just croaked.

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/news?slug=ys-woodenobit060410

actually, looks like ANOTHER very short round. Good one Steve!

@steve

“But I read it!

On the INTERNET!

I will grant you, it wasn’t one of those really really sooper accurate all the time on every topic web sites like the New York Times or Wikipedia….”

…. or the daily planet or something… lol

Poop

GAME OVER, FOLKS. THANKS FOR PLAYING…..

Betty White. She’s old. She’s healthy. She’ll stroke out like Rue.

Shrub I: George H W Bush. Not asking, just sayin’.

Someone already won? AGAIN?! I hope you really ARE made out of dicks, Stoaty. This game is getting rather expensive for you!

arrgh i wrote the only anonymuse (spelling) comment @ steve ….. computers suck….. lol

Well, shoot. Didn’t even get a chance to enter.

@Gromulin, @JC: Don’t go puttin no hoodoo on B.B.! We have tickets for when he comes to town in July. Don’t go messin with the King!

The Shat pauses mid-sentence for the last time.

Fer the love of cheese and biscuits, people, give it a rest. You folks are gonna get us all keeled with your bad karma!

Ernest Borgnine. Something is gonna happen.

You pussies are picking all the old people.
I’ll take Lindsey Lohan for the win. She can’t keep that skank stuff up forever.

..not sure where we are with this one; whether John Wooden’s death wins it or if we are continuing to select.

Just a word to say that it would have been tough for me to choose John Wooden as I graduated from UCLA and met the guy a number of times — he was everything the eulogies and obits will say about him.

That said, if we’re still choosing, I’m picking — and I am on my knees begging for — Helen Thomas to vapor lock. The only thing that would make winning the Spotted Dick any more memorable would be if this aged c*nt pulled a Mama Cass and gagged on a bagel and lox from a Jewish deli.

Please..let there be a God.

I want to thank the Academy….

It is an honor just to have been nominated….

Yup, I think Wooden clinches it. I didn’t know him from Adam, but enough people did that I think we’ll have to call him a sufficient celebrity for the pool.

See you here next week! Let’s hope the remaining low-hanging fruit fall off the perch before then (just to mix a few metaphors) so we can get a proper Pool going.

To be perfectly honest, it’s worth a couple of spotted dicks to me not to have to come up with a post for Friday.

So now I have to pay attention two Fridays in a row? Difficult task for someone with the attention span of a two year old.

The Dread Pirate Neck Beard sez:

you will be poet laureate.

Excellent! Oh wait, “laureate” means it don’t pay nuffink, right?

Oh well. At least steve really did turn out to be dicked up.

who the hell is john wooden….

I’m taking Lady Fergie. Too much shame for selling her ex’s access. She’ll do it with pills and vodka.

Can I get me some dick here?

Dan Schorr. Please God, before I have to do him myself.

Glad Steve won. He’s obviously been craving ..er…it.

The Weez is sure busy packing up dick lately. She must be getting some sideways looks from the Tesco checkout girl.
“you surely like your dick mum”.
“Not really. I’m more like a madam”.

I think Stoaty is killing these celebrities.

DEATH WEASEL! http://tinyurl.com/39vbgyh

FYI: Expect a lot of people to kick the bucket this year. The Estate Tax, aka the “death tax”, is at a low point in 2010 since it was first enacted. It is expected that the rate will increase in 2011 seeing that the government is pretty much desperate for tax revenue.

This will only affect American tax payers.

Grumble, grumble… sets a frigging alarm for next friday…. grumble, grumble.

HUGH HEFNER… He’s mine! All mine!

@ pupster

In the library with a weasel….

Dear Dread Pirate Neck Beard:

Since I don’t actually wantt he prize, am I actually playing?

Stickin’ with (to?) Doris Day.

Son of a…Coach Wooden is gone. RIP Coach.

Steve, Not to throw cold water or dick for that matter, but can you honestly say that Wooden is a legit pick? In the five or six hours before Weasy’s new pool was set to start, Wooden was all over the home pages of the interwebz, reported to be near death’s door.

sooo… Weasle, is john wooden gunna end it?

Mumbles:

Absolutely not!

Excepting four things:

One – Wooden was 99 years old, so he was a legitimate pick in almost every death pool out there, by virtue of the assurance that no one yet has lived forever.

B – If Gary Coleman could have been a legitimate pick, last week (having lasted only 105 minutes), then Wooden was a positive hold out, for having lasted 7 1/2 hours or whatever it was.

D – There are no rules in fight club (or something)

Five – Stoaty said that she needed people to start dying faster, since the dicks are apparently dying at a comparable rate.

Seven – Neener, neener, neener!

No, no…I’m going to take Wooden for the win. We’ve had two lightning rounds in a row, but up to then, the bigger problem has been waiting months and months for a death. So it all evens out.

ok, i’m good with that. Plus whatever spotted dick is, steve REALLY wants it ….

Pay attention Mono. Steve exhibits the fine art of Celebrity Death Pool. I stole a nomination of his, and won. He has effectively now won twice. (but he’s not getting my dick)

He is a force to be reckoned with. And in the ruff and tumble world that is a stoat’s life, all things will be turned to PUDDING!

Rather than questioning the legitimacy of his score, we should be humbled and prostate at his feet. For clearly he has an admirable weasel sense for which the remaining of us can only hope to acquire.

I agree EZnSF. We should all endeavor to follow in the great and powerful “Steve the Weasel Minion Wonder’s” footsteps so that we too, may be blessed with spotted dick.

It’s good to know that one little stoat isn’t going to be joining the Dead Pool just yet, thanks to our drain network…

😉

I’ve been at the beach since Thursday (writing this from the hotel) so I didn’t even get a look-in this time. Bah!

Presumably there are gags to be made about Wooden being a stiff, but I’m too hung-over.

Helen Thomas.

Because it certainly isn’t going to be me.

Is this thing on? My next pick, the death of spring, June 21. What? It’s popular, it’s famous, what more do you want?

Jesse Jackson – the Elder – because it ought to be!

Bret Michaels. He is one step from his brain exploding.

lol you guys realize that the dead pool is over right? steve won several days ago with john wooden. You can offically stop posting bids(? lol.

Monotone(The Elderish):

you guys realize that the dead pool is over right?

Just keeping in shape for the next round…

And that’ll be Phyllis Diller for the dick?

William Jefferson Clinton… he’s one cialis away from a major heart attack.

Are wildcards valid?

I’d go with anyone with the last name of Kennedy if they are.

Jimmy Carter, of course.

Ms. Stoaty, put the Stupid Cat down for the Chinless Opthalmologist Assad of Syria. Just Hopin’ for an “Oopsie!” of an Israeli Missile….

(Am I going to the Dreaded SpamBucket for RAACIST!!11!!! comments?)

So are we talking about 2 days from now Friday or 5 days ago Friday? I’ve been out of town and out of touch (more than usual), so I don’t know what’s going on in the world.

Lucky me. 🙂