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Smug, Plugs, and the Badonk-a-donk; the Simply Malaising Tour

“you’d think they’d be saying thank you!”

By the way, this quote:

“It means all the world to us to know that there are prayer circles out there and people who are keeping the spirits clean around us,” First Lady Michelle Obama said on the “Tom Joyner Morning Show” today.

Would be considered thirty-seven flavors of bug-fuck crazy if a righty had said it.

For fuck’s sake.

Put down the Wacom tablet!
That’s it.
Put your hands behind your head.
I am now arresting you for incitement of racial hatred by reason of drawing a portrait of the Prophet Muhammed

But imagine the call if Michelle ever got loose in the English countryside.

radio chatter:
[what’s that Sarge? Michelle who?
Funny, doesn’t look like an ‘elle’ to me.
No Sarge I’m not mucking about.
Aww, Sarge she does not have beefier forearms than my cousin Steve. He twatted a cow once for looking at him funny and knocked it out.
OK Sarge, your shout (gunfire)
] end radio chatter.

Anyway, come on sunshine, you’re nicked.

Some days I feel guilty.

Today isn’t one of ’em.

Holy triceps, Weasel.

I’m speechless…

Aieee! It burnnnssss…

You mean that’s NOT a P-shop? SRSLY?
Edit…jeez. Click first, comment second.

She means well, bless her heart.

EEK! Look at the blue flags! She is haranguing poor innocent Badgers! Well, she can shmooze the Democrats in Milwaukee all she wants, I am not voting for Russ Feingold, he voted for Obamacare, and for Harry ried, so he does not deserve to be Wisconsin’s Senator. He can move back to Middleton, a suburb of Madison, a city Governor Lee Dreyfus once called 50 square miles surrounded by reality

Heh. Sorry, Gromulin. I’ll take that as a tribute to my chopping skills.

“keeping the spirits clean”? WTF does that mean? It sounds like something from a New Age cult.

Hmmm, I Always Thought Spanish Steroids were good stuff….

It looks like she’s been benchpressing Barack’s ego.

There’s not enough muscle in the entire Universe.

Finally, arms to match her frame.

“You can’t see it behind here, but my ass is thiissss wide!”

“Ah did not no eet at da time, but mah gaaden has ste-ROIDS from da futilyzah bilt rite een!”

Are the spirits also articulate?

We may have to ask Reid.

Scoob, that’s more Speedy Gonzales than Stepin Fetchit.

You do have the Mad Skilz with the P-Shop, Stoaty. Sad part is that it was plausible enough for me to assume it was real…

My Awesome Michelle my (bar) Belle….

i guess i should not have listened to Yoda…. my lack of hatred has made you Strong…..

(note to self: contribute less, hate more = defined tri’s and bi’s)

Second Note to self:
“This is the second time in my adult life that I have felt PROUD… of my (hmm) triceps…”

An Awesome Landing Steve!!!
The judges are tallying the scores…. (it truly was Awesome)
OOOHHHH……….
;
;
it looks like the anti-American sentiment will cost this athlete acoupla’ points…

next on the mat… Illanna Marchenko; the new up and coming Soviet challenger.

I, for one, thank you for adding the nips. Kinda changes her from a “motha” to a “mother”. You did add the nips didn’t you stoaty? Oh my God. Tell me you did add the nips….!

“You did add the nips didn’t you stoaty”

Those are microphones…

Been ages since I’ve been here and I can see the Weasel is still The Queen of Snark.

[…] YIKES. Stoaty shows us a liver-quivering image that demonstrates what horror is REALLY all about. Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Leave a […]

Holy Crap – I hope she doesn’t get close enough to me to give me a hug. I’m to young to die….at least that way!!!