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How to make an alien fossil computer mouse

alien mouse

A helpful video. I’m not sure why it takes thirty minutes to explain how to do this — I bet I could cut it down to a few snappy stills and some text — but I don’t really know as I haven’t watched it. No vids from work, you see.

The blog, DailyDIY looks like it’s worth keeping half an eye on, anyhow. It seems to involve a lot of knitting and gluing shit to other shit. Hooray!

It’s amazing what you learn looking for photographs of adorable fluffy rodents.

On a less felicitous note, I learned what a vaginal plug is and how to examine lady mice for them. I’d warn you not to Google it, but what’s the point?


Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 10, 2007, 3:34 pm

I will not google “vaginal plug”
I will not google “vaginal plug”
I will not google “vaginal plug”
I will not google “vaginal plug”


Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 10, 2007, 3:35 pm

Oh, god.

Comment from Gnus
Time: December 10, 2007, 5:21 pm

Being (much) older, and somewhat wiser, I will not google “vaginal plug.”

Comment from Gnus
Time: December 10, 2007, 5:22 pm

Oh, god.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 10, 2007, 5:28 pm


Does it plug into a car cigarette lighter?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 10, 2007, 5:28 pm

Oh, god.

Comment from Shuko
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:05 pm

Stupid work filters.

If they filter out vaginal plug links from Google, it must be something sinister. Maybe I shouldn’t google it when I get home… >_>

Actually, strike that. I’m pretty sure I know what it is. You can’t have watched enough adult japanese animation without seeing every sick sex toy in existence (which is what a V-plug sounds like to my perverse mind). I’m sure I’ve seen at least an effigy of one at some point. No sense in reliving bad memories, as I’m sure they are. -_-

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:17 pm

I don’t need to Google it.

We have one as Prime Minister.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:18 pm


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:25 pm

Huh. I was actually guessing that the term refers to the cervical mucus forming a plug, but that doesn’t seem to be it, based on y’all’s reactions. So, no googling for me.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:28 pm

I don’t think old Gordo is a vaginal plug so much as a cyberiad who’s undergone a catastrophic personality failure who looks like he’s in bad pain (as opposed to good pain) when he tries to force a smile. In fact spending some time in a female’s (of any species) bag of slugs would do him a world of good.
Some people really know how to waste their time. It’s a mouse for god’s sake. Maybe I just don’t get it. Afterall, I’m the sort of guy who goes to Tesco and says ‘Fetch me your cheapest, unheard-of-brand optical mouse my good man, and don’t spare the horses,’ to which the 16-year-old, acne-ridden scallywag replies, ‘you what?’
Mind you, it is very stylish. I’m sure Hans Giger would be turned on by it, the smutty fuck that he is. Great drawist though.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:32 pm

Oh, and yeah, I googled it. At least I won’t have to ever be in the socially embarrassing position of saying I didn’t know what a mouse’s bear trapper’s hat looks like.
It’s going to take many, many recreational narcotics to annihilate that image from my mind.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:34 pm

Pretty close, Mrs P. It’s basically how you tell if a mouse has — please excuse the technical terminology — a bun in the oven.

The links mostly lead to no-nonsense examination techniques for lab technicians. Like zis. It starts with a recipe for a mouse-sized Q-tip, and it just gets more poignant from there.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 10, 2007, 6:38 pm

Oh, good. It was a dream – what I saw.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 10, 2007, 7:12 pm

Know what you mean, Gibby.

Have you seen the tricked PC cases some of these build? Lights inside, and florescent fluids flowing (and – no – I’m not talking the water-cooled ones.) and illuminated fan blades and such.

Tricking out your PC today is like what teens did to their cars back in the 50’s – 70’s. Think of that mouse as a hood ornament.

..and the overclockers! Talk about intensely obsessed! What they do to their machines is unbelievable.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: December 10, 2007, 10:18 pm

That’s what I was thinking. Why were you guys freaking out over that?

oh right, biomedical engineer = different perspective…

This one time, I carried on a loud conversation about the possible effect of microgravity on menstrual cycles, including phrases like “the contractions of the uterus” and “the shedding of the endometrial layer,” and was very surprised afterward to realize that all the boys looked embarrassed and all the girls were edging away from me. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to be interested in physiology all by myself.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 10, 2007, 10:50 pm

Well, many’s the time I’ve carried frozen horse placentas back to the barn to thaw and then spread them out on the cement to check for missing pieces. Guess that makes me a biomedical engineer, too (in much the same way that, when armed with a shovel, I am an equiery sanitation engineer). (or is that “I are an equiery sanitation engineer”?)

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 10, 2007, 11:01 pm

Missing pieces? To make sure there was noting left inside that could fester? Or is it useful for something?

God, I’d love to inflict that task on a few folks I know. Earth First, Back to Nature buttwipes, all. If they were ever actually confronted with Reality – like you describe – , they’d blow lunch exactly the way horses don’t and run back to their condos.

Comment from porknbean
Time: December 10, 2007, 11:55 pm

Ooooo…I like physiology. The wonders of mammals.
Even human females can tell their fertile from non-fertile days via her ‘mucus’.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: December 11, 2007, 1:21 am

Gibby is a guy? Oy vey.

That said: naan update! I’ve tried to get Mom to open up, but she won’t. She dodges the issue. I think she forgot how to make naan at home and is just afraid to admit. She made an offhand comment about telling me to look it up online. “Oh, there are lots of recipes online now, I’m sure.”. One interesting fact (interesting to me at least) I got from her is that making naan at home involves the stove and the oven. I believe the dough is formed and shaped on a thin pan thingy on the stove and then fully cooked in the stove.

I’ll see if I can find a recipe in one of her cookbooks.

Sorry if none of this helps.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: December 11, 2007, 1:25 am

Enas is an adventurous and talented lad. Maybe he knows how to make naan. Maybe I can ask SobekPundit. Believe it or not, he’s into exotic cooking too.

How pathetic am I? I’m asking goré (white or fair; plural adjective or noun) folks how to make naan.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: December 11, 2007, 2:12 am

Thanks Musli! I don’t know nuthin’ about no naan though.

Getting back to the original subjuct – if you want to talk about computer case modifications you go talk to this man: Datamancer.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 11, 2007, 4:25 am

So, you don’t know nada about naan, Enas?

Sorry, but it had to be said.

Musli – the reason your Mom won’t open up and tell you is that she’s actually an impostor. She has been replaced by a space alien, who – naturally – knows nothing about naan.

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: December 11, 2007, 8:57 am

Thanks for trying Muslihoon. I don’t blame your mum for not giving up the recipe. I wouldn’t give me it either. I scare me sometimes. I’ll keep trying different ways of cooking this dough I made – I’ll get it eventually…maybe. Failing that, I’ll just buy it; the guys at the local Indian are affable chaps and they make great food.
McGoo – I’ve seen what people like to do vis casemodding. Pretty garish. I see nothing perverted about clocking your CPU, GPU, memory higher though. Due to Moore’s Law and how in 6 months your super-duper piece of hardware that you shelled out too much for is now obsolete, and runs that awesome-looking game you’ve been waiting for so long to be released at three frames per second at the lowest settings, you could be forgiven for trying to eek every last Mhz out of it.

Comment from eddiebear
Time: December 11, 2007, 10:19 am

Holy cow. Man, I can’t compete with this in terms of sordidness.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 11, 2007, 10:43 am

Gibby – Like I said – the case modding seems to be the same kind of hobby as souping up the ol’ hot rod was back in the last century. It looks somewhat fun, and you can do it in a dorm room, an apartment, or your mom’s basement. And the cases are small and easily machined, drilled, cut, etc.

I’ve known a couple overclockers. I hear your argument (they say the same thing) but I notice they seem to spend 99% of their time playing with overclocking stuff and 1% (or less – if at all) gaming.

It’s like the audiophile (versus music lover) obsession. They spend more time dicking around with the audio system than in listening to music. They just won’t admit that they LIKE dicking around with audio hardware.

Comment from Lokki
Time: December 11, 2007, 11:27 am

Note to those interested in vaginal plugs, mucus, placentas, and overclocking any of those items, – this ain’t your post and you may skip it

Naan –

Muslihoon – I’ve tried my hand at making Naan a couple of times. Mrs. Lokki and I like to play in the kitchen on weekends (As the saying goes, at a certain point in life your relationship moves from the bedroom to the kitchen).

This is the recipe I used although there’s nothing magic about it – it’s just the one I liked from those I found on the net.


We didn’t bake ours or grill it; we used an electric hot plate/griddle but you could use a frying pan too, I suppose. The trick for us was deciding when to flip it over. The best I think would be to use a thick hot piece of metal or stone inside a very hot oven; we have a cast-iron tortilla plate that would do nicely, now that I think about it.

Note: You will never replicate your Mom’s naan, even if she gives you the recipe. My sister and I once used up two kilos of flower trying to make my Grandmother’s egg noodles one rainy Sunday, and failed miserably in comparison to hers.

Still it’s a lot of fun, and you can make an acceptable substitute, particularly if you’ve got a good hot curry to go with the naan.

Have fun!

Biomedical types and computer types and other assorted general geeks may now safely return to this conversational arena.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 11, 2007, 11:39 am

Those mucus overclockers will burn in Hell!

It just ain’t natural!

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 11, 2007, 11:45 am

Overclocked mucus
And some vaginal plug links.
We will burn in Hell.

Overclocked mucus
Few people feel the longing
Make it run faster.

Overclocked mucus
And cold equine placenta
Tools of the Devil.

Comment from Dawn
Time: December 11, 2007, 5:18 pm

Neat – I wonder if I could do that with my trackball?

Comment from Dawn
Time: December 11, 2007, 5:19 pm

the fossil thing I mean – not McGoo’s poetry.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 12, 2007, 1:28 pm

Right on the first choice, Steam: chunks of placenta left in a mare’s uterus (designed by some Practical Joker) can rot and cause—in the words of my sun-visor—”morte ou blessure grave” (which for some reason my non-French-speaking mind always translates as “death or serious blessing”).

I’m with you on the education of the back-to-nature gorp-gobblers out there. Until a hundred years ago, the “natural life” (or “life” as everyone quaintly called it) was brutal and short; in many countries, it still is. Maybe the problem these days is that people aren’t allowed to suffer the consequences of their own choices nearly enough.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 12, 2007, 1:45 pm

What you said, jw.

I would have translated that French (if I were inclined to translate French) as, “serious trouble, with a fwench name”. The nice thing about my translation is that it works for so many phrases.

The phrase I have always liked is “posthumous”, which means more-or-less, “after the dirt”. I think I’ve mentioned that before.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 12, 2007, 3:38 pm

A long time ago, I was writing a novel called Posthumous, but got into an argument with the publisher (who felt the title was “too erudite”) and wound up firing my agent and returning the advance. The former was a pleasure, the latter, not so much.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: December 12, 2007, 4:29 pm

Too erudite? Too erudite?

So…what did your pub think of “The Cat in the Hat”?

Too complex?

That sucks, jw.

Self-publish, dude. I’ll buy a few.

Comment from Lokki
Time: December 14, 2007, 3:56 pm

Man… I feel so foolish. Till this very moment, I always thought that Posthumous was the Scottish word for Dessert.

As if anyone would want dessert after eating:

1 sheep’s lung
1 sheep’s stomach
1 sheep heart
1 sheep liver
1/2 lb fresh suet
3/4 cup oatmeal
3 onions, finely chopped
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3/4 cup stock

Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 14, 2007, 4:05 pm

That’s for dinner, Grandpa? Yum-yum!

Comment from jwpaine
Time: December 14, 2007, 4:16 pm

Self-publish? I direct you to Dr. Johnson’s admonition. I’d sooner vote Green.

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