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Riddle me this…

*recycled graphic on account of sudden, unexpected loss of will to live.

I totally don’t get it. Barack Obama rode into office posing as a nice guy. A non-partisan, light-working, no-red-state-no-blue-state kindofa all-around nice guy. However much we’ve learned since, that was the thing he had going for him.

What on god’s green earth makes the left think he should turn into an angry, hectoring, feisty guy to get re-elected?

Oh, I understand why they would like to see that. There sure were times I dreamed of watching Bush invite a hostile press corps to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, however bad it would have looked in the Junior High civics curriculum afterwards. But at least for Bush it would’ve been somewhat in character.

For Obama, feisty is the exact opposite of what independents liked about him.

This is a strategy?

Good weekend, y’all! I’monna go drink now.


Comment from Mark T
Time: September 16, 2011, 9:36 pm

Toddies. I think this year’s Bleurgh Season should feature toddies. We’ve got lurking cooties in this household, too. I want an app that shows cold/flu epidemiology in Southern England with a snottiness level factored in. Long before I tuned in Rush, I was pointed toward Zycam and still tout them–I think they’ve abetted the full-blown cold that’s been threatening here. Zycam and strong spirits. Nom-nom. All the best!

Comment from Alice
Time: September 16, 2011, 9:37 pm

Poor little weasel. My favorite cure for a cold: A jigger* of Bushmill’s or Jameson’s (I’m a bipartisan Irish whiskey drinker), 1 tsp sugar or honey, 2-3tsp lemon juice, 6-8oz hot (not boiling) water.

NB – also good for “preventing” colds.

*in my recipe, a jigger is equal to “the amount I want in this glass right now”.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 16, 2011, 9:45 pm

I’m a Glenmorangie kind of gal, y’all, but it’s martinis tonight.

My martini recipe: vodka and olives in a screw-cap jar, left in the freezer for a couple of hours.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 16, 2011, 9:58 pm

Bah!!! Get serious, folks!!!

Burn that cold out with MOONSHINE!!! It’s the only way to be sure….. πŸ˜‰

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 16, 2011, 10:53 pm

YOu shouldn’t be drinking, especially on tour in NZ …. those pesky security cameras record everything!


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 17, 2011, 3:31 am

Oi….. Trouble in Reno town. One of the Unlimited Race P-51 Mustangs pancaked into the crowd during the Gold heat……

Wonder how long until the Increadible Sulk tries to run out and “Comfort the grieving families”…… barf

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 17, 2011, 3:34 am

Did you hear that nice ‘crumping’ sound as it hit? Haven’t heard that for years …

Isn’t that what people go to pylon races for?

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 17, 2011, 5:30 am

Hey Scube!

Found that Pentagon impact footage yet???!!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 17, 2011, 7:59 am

Desperate For Attention Troll is…desperate for attention.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 17, 2011, 9:22 am

No it was a serious homework exercise for Scube.
His Pentagon report is overdue …. some of us are waiting.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 17, 2011, 9:48 am

I was gonna make a funny about how I thought Obama was a nasty piece of work since the get-go but a) I haven’t the heart now and b) Oceania, whoever you are, I hope it ends up nasty, necrotic and stinking. And yes, I know DNFTT, but what if you feed the troll botulin toxin?

Plus (puts pedant’s hat on) there’s another tick in the ‘journalists don’t know a fucking thing’ column, from Fox: “The P-51 Mustang, a class of fighter plane that can fly at speeds in excess of 500 mph…” What a load of horseshit. They got a Frankenstein F8F Bearcat* over 500 mph in a sprint, but sustained for a piston engined aircraft is much more like 400 mph. Christ. Is general ignorance no longer merely a sufficient quality to be a journalist but a necessary one?

* which might well have been written off at Reno last year; this is a dangerous game

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 17, 2011, 10:30 am

A P51D? Yup, they are ok to fly, but the laminar wing is a pain to watch out for, and have an awful internal statico noise, dodgy radiator exhaust leaver, along with a gay stick I call the Ball Banger. I prefer the Spade Grip.
It wasn’t till the Brits gave you the Merlin that they weren’t anything more than easy Messerschmit Fodder.

What is a geriatric guy doing flying pylons? Seriously? Can we say TIA/Stroke and plough in? He was a no fly waiting to fry.

And before you Yanks go all Chest Beating Patriotic on me and wish me some form of necrosis – just remember that you still don’t know who did 9/11, and only New Zealanders are allowed to Question you about it.

So where IS that Pentagon footage again?

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 17, 2011, 10:43 am

I am a Brit, you stupid cunt.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 17, 2011, 11:30 am

Oh you are? Oh poor you!
Well its hard to tell these days, as your country appears to be controlled from Washington, is run down and bankrupt … well, that’s the impression I got from William Hague in January.

How’s that special relationship going these days? Did you get your products banned from China? I believe that Hague is still waiting for us to call him back …

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 17, 2011, 11:42 am

I want a new troll. This one’s boring.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 17, 2011, 12:40 pm

Yes, the themes are becoming increasingly predictable and well-defined. What we all get for feeding him. David Gilles,the problem is that there nothing is poisonous to a troll–they convert even botulin into health-and-life-giving nourishment. Starvation truly is the only way. Or banishment.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: September 17, 2011, 12:56 pm

In the end, it always comes back to whiskey. A call for whiskey, lemon, and honey for sick stoaties – and a call for some whiskey courage from Obama.

Works for me πŸ™‚

The dram of preference for me is Glenfiddich Solera Reserve right now.
I like to drink it from my silver christening cup -two ounces or so with a symbolic dripping of spring water, sipped slow.

Dosen’t keep the demons away but they’re much more pleasant about their work

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 17, 2011, 1:42 pm

I like the Glenmorangie Port Wood Finish. But for me the king of malts is Ardbeg, with Laphroaig as his vice-regent (I likes ’em peaty and salty.) My Dad was a huge Talisker fan.

But Stoaty: vodka martinis? Eugh. Gotta be gin, at least in part (yeah, I know you can’t stand gin). But without gin it’s just a cocktail. After much experimentation a few years back <hic!> I finally came up with a recreation of the Vesper from Casino Royale (since you can’t get Kina Lillet anymore.) I highly recommend it:
3 measures gin pref. Tanqueray
1 measure vodka pref. Stoli Blue
1/2 measure extra dry vermouth
healthy dash or two of Angostura bitters
Shaken, with mucho ice, strained and served with a generous twist of lemon peel in a big honkin’ old glass. Beware! This one has claws.

I now look on the Internet and find that a lot of rotten buggers have nicked my formulation. Pikers!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 17, 2011, 2:18 pm

Love the cask finish Glenmorangies, David — Uncle B bought me a sampler. Also, I love gin, but I discovered when I ran out and switched to vodka one night that the gin was making me much more hungovery.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: September 17, 2011, 2:30 pm

I agree with the Hon. Mr. Gilles about gin as a mandatory ingredient for martinis. Vodka is strictly for breakfast.

Has anyone else tried Hendrick’s gin? It is apparently (according to the label) filtered through cucumbers. I received a bottle as a gift and it sits on the shelf to be pawned off on unwary visitors. It seems to be a gin for people who don’t like the taste of gin (Stoatie?).

For friends, and myself, it’s Tanqueray, or on light days Bombay Sapphire.

This evening though I think I’m going to try the above Vespers recipe. Sounds like a good substitute for evening prayers if I do say so.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 17, 2011, 3:01 pm

No, no…I *love* the taste of gin. It’s the headache and the fuzz-mouth I can do without.

I have a real partiality for nasty beverages. My favorite used to be Jack Daniel’s Green Label. Very, very hard to find outside Tennessee. When they sample the Jack and think, “nah — this one isn’t quite smooth enough for Black Label” — that’s Green Label.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 17, 2011, 4:14 pm

A couple of Vespers are worth hangovers. Anyway, that’s why Stoli Blue and Tanquerary. Lowest congeners in their class (which is why they’re so freakin’ expensive.) We used to have a thing where four of us lined up at a bar, we made four ballots, each wrote down in secret one of the hard liquors on the shelf or in the well, gave them to the barman with the instructions to put a measure of each in a cocktail shaker, give it a whizz and then he served us each a quarter of the result. Some were as bad as you’d expect. Some were good. One was so good that a bar here made it their signature cocktail. Serendipity. The bad ones could be pretty bad. One night we discovered Creme de Menthe, Cointreau, Bailey’s and Jagermeister. Don’t do it, folks.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 17, 2011, 4:44 pm

Ginger brandy and gingerale (just, don’t). Tequila sunrises, which come back up rosy as esophageal hemmorhage.

And who can forget the Christmas Eve I drank a quart of prune juice laced with vodka? Christmas Day, I got the biggest present of my life.

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: September 17, 2011, 5:23 pm

My martini starts with sticking Bombay Sapphire in the freezer for a few hours.

I happen to LIKE Bombay Sapphire, so shut it.

I then think, ever so fleetingly, of Vermouth, but never of bitters, as I pour a few ounces into a chilled glass.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 17, 2011, 6:24 pm

Yeah, but Weasel, I bet you felt you had given, in the True Christmas Spirit. As in something truly of yourself, perhaps a thymus gland you might be wanting someday. See it bobbing about and someone says, “woah, not fishing that motherfucker out, nosirree.”

And RR, that’s not a Martini, son. That’s good old-fashioned Ice Cold Gin in a Tumbler. A fine product to be sure, but not a martini. A Martini must have detectable levels of Vermouth or it’s just a booze-delivery mechanism with a fancy name. There are gin-delivery devices a lot simpler than that. Fill a tumbler with ice. Put a tbsp of bitters in. Let it set for a minute. Swoosh it abourt. Dump the ice. refill with ice. Add 2oz gin and another snort of bitters. Bingo: Pink Gin, straight out of Jeeves and Wooster and it will knock you straight in your pansified fucking ass if you ain’t tried a real gin drunk at least once or twice, cuz. Not that I cast aspersions, mind

Comment from Deborah
Time: September 17, 2011, 9:42 pm

@some vegetable: Yes. My son gave me a bottle of Hendrick’s gin for Christmas a few years ago (along with the other things needed for martinis). I liked it very much indeed, and have bought more. And I give my son Springbank Scotch, a little habit he acquired while stationed in Scotland. Springbank smells so divine, I have been tempted to dab it behind my ears on on my pulse points πŸ™‚

I mix my martinis with pharmaceutical accuracy (4:1) and keep premium olives stashed in the back of the fridge. And I never order a martini out, because invariably the waitress will ask vodka or gin, and I know I’m in the wrong place. It’s all Ian Fleming’s fault.

Comment from Frit
Time: September 17, 2011, 10:46 pm

Stoaty, that pre-Christmas mix you had (prune juice + vodka) is commonly known as a “Pile Pusher”. You already know why.

How about trying a “Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against The Wall”?
15ml each of Vodka, Slo Gin, and Southern Comfort; top off glass with 120ml fresh squeezed Orange Juice, then float a little Galliano on top – to make the “wall”.
Enjoy cautiously, it has a kick. πŸ˜‰

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 18, 2011, 12:19 am

“Hearts full of youth
Hearts full of truth.
Six parts gin to
One part vermouth!”

Works for me. Every time. I agree with Deborah about whose fault this all is; and when I order a martini in a restaurant, I order a “gin martini” to obviate error.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 18, 2011, 1:39 am

Stop drinking, and get back to work!
None of your economies have produced any wealth recently – so get your our of control weasles back to work and fix your economy!

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 18, 2011, 2:09 am

Rest my case.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 18, 2011, 3:37 am

Mike Tindall had better hang around too!

He needs to attend a trial over his conduct. The Queen will not be Amused! This is the problem with marrying commoners.


Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 18, 2011, 4:05 am

Anything Wallbanger these days is cost-prohibitive because have you seen what they want for a bottle of fucking Galliano, even at merchant prices? Insanity. It tastes of liquorice, not Jesus’s dick. Fuck me, people are stupid.

Comment from Lipstick
Time: September 18, 2011, 4:43 am

Oceania is why I don’t read the comments any more. (Yes, I tried again and read these comments and was once again repulsed)

Comment from JC
Time: September 18, 2011, 6:06 am

All the priests I know swear by Rock and Rye.
Canadian Rye whiskey bottled ofer a string of Rock Candy, hence the name.
OT: S’ got Badger in it: http://pajamasmedia.com/lifestyle/2011/09/16/gordon-ramsays-dwarf-porn-double-percy-foster-dies-in-badger-den/
It’s from Oz, not enzed

Comment from Deborah
Time: September 18, 2011, 2:58 pm

Maybe the “vodka martini” drinkers could agree on another name for their preferred concoction that doesn’t include the word martini. It would be a kindness.

How about: Russian Potato Salad πŸ™‚

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 18, 2011, 6:13 pm

Deborah, that would be Rossolye http://www.yousigma.com/recipes/rossolye.html Granted, it includes many ingredients not regarded as traditional for Western European or American potato salads.

Anyway, I think hell is more likely to freeze over than vodka mart drinkers are to relinquish the name. It sounds so sophisticated and glamorous, donchaknow.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 18, 2011, 6:22 pm

Y’all said no when I asked if I could just salt my vodka. That time I ran out of olives.

Comment from Deborah
Time: September 18, 2011, 7:13 pm

Ha Ha Can’t Hark! If Stoaty mixed diced pickled herring with her vodka, I bet Charlotte the Cat would be her new best drinking buddy!

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 18, 2011, 7:22 pm

You can salt salt tour vodka a bit if it works for you. Maybe squeeze cat’s bum glands in for the proper astringency.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 18, 2011, 9:43 pm

Oh, I’m sorry, lipstick. He doesn’t affect me that way. Half the time, I don’t even understand his comments. Usually, I see his name and skip to the next.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: September 18, 2011, 10:20 pm

I once had the honor of singing with the Georgian State Football team, back in the 70’s. These were the Soviet Georgians, mind you, so they wore shoes, although not very well made ones.

Anyhow, they showed me the Georgian way to nosh with Vodka. The bottle is kept on ice and beside it you place a plate of well-larded salami (or whatever the Georgian equivalent is, anyhow) and then another plate with mandarin oranges.

The drill is as follows:
1. Well masticate a piece of the salami
2. Take a good stiff shot of the ice-cold Vodka to cleanse the fat from your mouth.
3. Eat a few slices of mandarin orange to get cleanse the taste of the Vodka from your mouth.
4. Eat a piece of salami to cleanse the sweetness of the orange.
5. Repeat until you all feel like singing. Pretty much anything will do as you’ll soon know all of the important parts of the lyrics.

I actually kind of recommend it.

Comment from JeffS
Time: September 19, 2011, 12:01 am

Well, well, well! Pigs do fly, after all!

I don’t suggest celebrating, mind you. The Incredible Jerk™ is highly unlikely to softly and silently go into the night. But surely one of these concoctions y’all are bandying about is suitable for a toast to the Chicago Tribune?

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 19, 2011, 2:14 am

Hey, SWeas – what’s happened to this “resteses” thing you supposedly do on weekends???

Inquiring minds want to know. Not that we object, of course, but…

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 19, 2011, 10:25 am

Don’t take my words for it – see what your own people say.


Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 19, 2011, 10:28 am

Some Vegetable: are we justified in thinking your nom-de-Web is because you adhered to that dreadful regimen of vodka, salami and oranges too stringently and are now hooked up to a machine that goes ‘ping’ and can only communicate by blinking your eyelids? Because, as Mark M. says, enquiring minds want to know.

‘Some’ Vegetable is maddeningly vague, as well. My money is on something in the fibrous, rooty class. Parsnip, perhaps?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 19, 2011, 11:24 am

Oh, I comment on the weekends, Mark. I just don’t post new posteses.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 19, 2011, 1:29 pm

Cheeky comment from a spammer:

Great post but honestly the large amount of advertisements really make the readers experience much lower.

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