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I haven’t posted tonight? Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure I…oh, okay, okay. Fine. Hang on. Let me rustle up a chicken picture.

Got distracted. I guess I fail blog today; even my spammers are giving advice:

You will have to master the artwork and technology of site visitors to your website. Is the web page without site visitors is like having an ice cream store within the desert, situated one hundred km from the closest highway. It has the most efficient ice cream in the world, but when anyone enters your retailer, you will be defeated.

Dang it! Now what will I do with all this efficient ice cream?

Oh, hey — I chased a fox all around the yard in my socks this afternoon. (No, Dr Seuss, the fox wasn’t in my socks). It was just at dusk and the chickens had gone to roost but were not locked up yet, and I look out the kitchen and see a big, fat fox out my back door like some kind of blues lyric. Man, you shoulda seen me move.

“AAAAAAUUUUUURRRRR!” I screamed. And, “WWWOOOOOOORRRRAAAAGH!” And, “YAAAAARRRRRAAAAAAGH!” All running and flailing and waving my arms.

God, I hope the neighbors weren’t sitting in the garden.

Okay, Dead Pool tomorrow, 6 sharp Weasel Blog Time. Be here or be a railroad engineer!


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: October 6, 2011, 11:36 pm

Yeah, god forbid you should have ineffecient ice cream. ‘Specially when situated 100 km from the closest highway (is that even possible in this day and age?).

“Chased a fox all around the yard in my socks.” You know, that is the kernel of a truly great Country song. Would that I had the necessary soul. . .

Comment from Mike James
Time: October 7, 2011, 12:40 am

I call Steve Jobs for the Dead Pool!

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: October 7, 2011, 1:14 am

I didn’t think anyone had Jobs?

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: October 7, 2011, 1:43 am

Sounds like a country song

Well, I was in my ol’socks dreamin’- dreamin’ about you
when a fox got in the chickens -didn’t know what to do
Shouted out your name ; shouted out โ€œWAWROOOOOOO”
Cause baby don’t ya know that fox looked just like you..
I loves my chicken baby, but I loves you too.
Chickens or foxy baby… don’t know what to do…..

Comment from Gromulin
Time: October 7, 2011, 2:16 am

On Chickens; subject of: Gromulette the Youngest just joined 4H (after much research, Girl Scouts suck – they exist primarily to sell cookies). Keep in mind we are in the heart of one of the larger suburbs of Sacramento and live in a verrry suburban tract-home neighborhood. But 10 minutes away are pockets of old rural California. Family farms. Horses. Hogs. Stout country kids. My little city-mouse daughter now wants chickens. I checked the ordnance..I could pull it off. But thinking of the Stepford-wife neighbors whispering the phrase ” Yeah, yew know…the Gromulins – the ones with the crappy yard and the CHICKENS” haunts my wife. I would wear it as a badge of honor. Maybe bunnies first.

Comment from Allen
Time: October 7, 2011, 3:33 am

Oh man can’t I do my dead pick early? I have to go back up in the Sierras tomorrow. Can I pick Smokey the Bear? That damn bear of mine was scratching at the front door last Friday night. And I mean scratching, thump… scratch… thump… scratch… 1/4″ deep claw marks. As Brooksie said in The Shawshank Redemption… “pert near soiled myself.”

Oh well, I’ll think on my Dead Pool pick. Hey, can I pick myself? I mean if the bear gets me, do I get a dick?


Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:49 am

Gromulin lives in Sacramento? Nina lives in Elk Grove, where we do 4H right. Well, not at our school, we don’t do 4H at all, we do IB. But some of our sister high schools do do 4H.

Imagine such a small world to have two Sacramentans posting at Stoaty’s!

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: October 7, 2011, 5:21 am

A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go
Pull up your socks and chase the fox, a-hunting we will go

Well done!

Comment from Gromulin
Time: October 7, 2011, 2:04 pm

Nina, The other major Burb bookend to Sac – Roseville

Comment from EastAsia
Time: October 7, 2011, 2:05 pm

At LAST! A post topic that doesn’t bring Oceania out.

I say, more chicken posts, good and hard.

Comment from EastAsia
Time: October 7, 2011, 2:07 pm

And Gromulin–my (California suburbia) neighbors have chickens, and the clucking sounds from their yard are absolutely delightful.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 7, 2011, 3:08 pm

Oh, no…he turns up on the chicken threads, too. Usually posting snippets purported to be bits of the chook genetic code. Crazy knows no boundary.

Grom, I’m telling you — bantams. They’re little, friendly, smart and relatively quiet. Though for god’s sake don’t get a bantam rooster.

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:12 pm

Can you get a proper pellet gun in Britian?

A well placed shot will dispatch Mr. Fox.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:22 pm

How many Californians do we HAVE in this place, anyway?

Forgive me, I’m pissy today. My dang neck hurts and and so does my throat, and I need to take more pain drugs that I don’t want to take. And I’m fed up with those morons occupying places, not to mention that moron troll who decreases my weasel reading pleasure.

Just pissy. Even Stoaty’s adorable chooks can’t sooth the piss in me today.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:45 pm

Aw, I’m sorry, Nina. If there’s a consensus that crazy dude is harshing the collective mellow, perhaps I should do something. I’m impervious to his schtick, for some reason.

Yes, we have a proper pellet rifle, Bob. Uncle B’s itching to use it, too. But Mr Fox, he comes and then vanishes so fast, you’d really have to be sitting in the garden with a gun across your knees to have any chance.

I’m pissy too, Nina. I got STUNG. By a WASP. First joint of my right index finger, and it’s passed from “swollen and sting-y” to “deep bone ache.” The Ibuprofen-with-codeine has just kicked in, so I expect my mood to improve.

English wasps don’t look like wasps to me. They’re small and they look like bees, but Uncle B swears blind they’re wasps (I guess they are more wasp-waisted than the usual bees around here).

Never been stung by a wasp before. The ones back home are so big and dark and angry looking.

Comment from steve
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:48 pm

@ Mike James:

I refer you, sir, to Rule 0.

(If I’m not allowed to snag Steve Jobs, neither are you!)

(\/) (;,,;) (\/)

Comment from steve
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:51 pm

@ Nina from GCP:

Regarding those morons occupying places…..

On the one hand, we has the Tea Party demonstrating….

Now we have the Pity Party!(tm)

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 7, 2011, 4:55 pm

Is that a Zoidberg emoticon, steve? Very nice.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 7, 2011, 5:00 pm

‘Nother hour to Dead Pool. WBT = GMT (which is as immutable as the stars and doesn’t change for British Summer Time).

Comment from steve
Time: October 7, 2011, 5:14 pm

Yes…yes it is…

And props to the web mistress here in Weaselberg.

There is another site where I tried to post it and the last ๐Ÿ˜‰ got turned into one of those winkey emoticon cartooney things, posted to the entire pustream Zoidberg….

Wrecked the entire Zoidberg effect….

Very disheartening.

Holy Crap (he edited)!

Did you see what your script just did there?

Same idea only less stylish, and much more intrusive.

(That’s “upstream” not “pustream”. Although I believe I may have just invented a word there, that could come in handy at some later date. In a very gross and evocative way.)

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: October 7, 2011, 10:41 pm

Chickens AND bunnies!!! Goats will be next…..

Comment from Gromulin
Time: October 7, 2011, 11:56 pm

I grew up in a very closely packed suburb in the East Bay area, south of Oakland. Since my Dad was a farmboy from North Dakota, I raised ducks and dutch bunnies, in our tiny backyard. Pretty much anything I could sell at the flea market at easter. I like the idea of bantys. Theyd be show chickens, not pullets, thats pretty certain. I’ll have to see how the dog does with a house bunny first.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: October 8, 2011, 12:27 am

What a day. This AM we leave the house to the maids and head to Denny’s for brekky while they are cleaning. We just sit down and the maids call to say that the dang dog had got in the house through a window and was growling at them. Daughter hops in the car to go put the dang dog out, on the way some moron crashes into her hard enough to totally tear the passenger side of her car to pieces. Daughter’s okay, but the car (paid off and relatively new) is likely totaled. I was stranded at Denny’s for 4 hours. We just got home from body shop, Enteprise, the doctor, pharmacy, and aieeeee.

Now I’m really pissy. But my girl is okay, thank God and greyhound.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: October 8, 2011, 1:34 am

Oh, Nina, sorry to hear all that–but glad at least there’s no bodily injury. Did the maid survive?

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: October 8, 2011, 2:30 am

She did, although in the rush I almost forgot to call and tell them to go home because nobody was going to get there any time soon to put the dog out.

So my house wasn’t cleaned either, and I have to make the bed myself too.

Pissy. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from Frit
Time: October 8, 2011, 2:40 am

I lived for years in Sacramento, within walking distance of the Watt Ave & Arden Way intersection, even. Sold the house and moved to Oz, and it wasn’t until after I got here that I was introduced to this blog.

Nina: Glad your daughter is ok! I hope everything else works out soon too.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: October 8, 2011, 3:36 am

Not anywhere near the level you’ve achieved, but I am reminded of the time my cleaners called me because one of my (at that time two) cats had been so traumatized by the vacuum cleaner being turned on next to where she was that she ran/bounced half the length of my second-floor apartment and crashed through the storm window, skidded down the frontporch roof, and (having landed on her feet on the driveway) somehow figured out that her best retreat was over the 8′ tall stockade gate at the end of the driveway, into the back yard. I came home, collected her from the backyard, took her inside–and didn’t see her for a week because she hid out in the attic. As she had done this once before (but without window-smashing) when I imported a cat jungle-gym, I maintained my equanimity.

Pets and cleaners. Sigh. Often a labyrinth.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: October 8, 2011, 4:10 am

Life. It sometimes gets in the way of living it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Frit, Sacramento to Oz? Is that story as interesting as it sounds like it is?

I need to hit the hay. Where are those post-op pain drugs again?

Comment from Frit
Time: October 8, 2011, 7:13 pm

Nina, it is indeed an interesting story. Short version is:
Got laid off. Long time internet friend invites me to visit. After 2nd visit, we decide we are more than friends. Marriage proposal. Revamp & sell house, stay with friends while visa is being approved, then one way ticket to Down Under. Been here over a year now, and just coming up on our first year anniversary. `/:)

For a longer version, feel free to contact me directly; Stoaty has my e-mail addy. (I don’t know of any way to post my e-mail addy here so only you will get it.)

Comment from Nina
Time: October 10, 2011, 4:56 am

I love stories like that. The internet is responsible for some strange and wonderful things! Sigh. Happy endings make me very much LESS pissy. You and Stoaty have the whole American in paradise thing going on!

I go back to work tomorrow after surgery. My sub was an art teacher. I teach science. Woe. Back to pissy. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from Nina
Time: October 10, 2011, 5:00 am

Oh, and Frit, are you on Facebook? If so, look me up, last name Oates, first name like Jennifer without the -ifer. I’d love to hear how you decided which hemisphere to live in. ๐Ÿ™‚

Comment from Frit
Time: October 10, 2011, 10:28 pm

Hi Nina, I did a search for your FB name, and found two. Not sure which is you… If you do a search for frit, I should be at the top of the list, my full name first (Initials are BAW), and nick name after like so: (Frit).

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