I call it “self portrait in pumpkin and fire”
Today is International Self Portrait Day. No, really.
Would you believe that’s the my best pumpkin ever? I suck at pumpkin carving. Which makes me mad, because I’m an artard and think I should be good at it.
Go look at Mitchell‘s (the artist formerly known as Enas Yorl). His are way better.
OKAY! Y’all know what to do tomorrow.
Make me laugh. Make me cry. Make me gnash my teeth that I’m not there.
FLY, MY PRETTIES!
Shall. We. Play. A. Game? Okay, noon tomorrow, Weasel Blog Time, I’ll put up my election day thread. In it, you can guess the composition of the new 112th Congress. The person coming closest will win a pair of fabulous Aunty’s Spotted Dicks. Exact rules will be posted tomorrow and probably amended several times, because I’m an utter mongtard with numbers.
November 1, 2010 — 7:35 pm
Comments: 23
Boo!
Happy Hallowe’en, everyone!
Our clocks change Sunday, so I get an extra hour’s sleep Monday.
What? Yes, yes…I know I’m unemployed, but I do actually have to be someplace Monday. I’m applying for my National Insurance Number (the Limey version of the Social Security Number). They make me do it in person. With a buttload of documentation. In Maidstone.
Oh, and — REMEMBER TO GET ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY FIRED UP ABOUT VOTING THIS WEEKEND. Unless your friends and family are Democrats. In which case: REMEMBER TO GET NEW FRIENDS AND FAMILY THIS WEEKEND.
October 29, 2010 — 9:14 pm
Comments: 27
Happy Summer Solstice!
I stole the pic from these people.
It’s the Solstice!
We grabbed a bottle, fired up the chimenea and spent the evening in the garden staring up at the stars. It was light, I swears, at eleven. Magic!
It’s all downhill from here.
In now. Not sober. G’night!
June 22, 2010 — 12:27 am
Comments: 11
Sexually confused Christmas cards
I found this in my camera today; I meant to post it before Christmas. I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to be “Season’s greetings to my favorite incestuous relationship.” More like “Merry Christmas to my butch sister and her thang.”
Hope the blurry shot doesn’t make you feel urpy. I had to take it by stealth. Shopkeepers really don’t like to see you taking snapshots of their wares.
And that’s all I got in me today. We’re huddled over a coal fire tonight trying not to freeze our little weasels off.
January 7, 2010 — 7:09 pm
Comments: 21
Discuss among yourselves
We’re going to the neighbors’ for New Year’s Eve, so I’ve left a casserole in the fridge for you. All you have to do is pre-heat the oven to 350º and give it forty, forty-five minutes. Until it’s brown, anyhow. In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve left their number on the hall table. We’re right next door, so we’ll know if you have anybody over, ‘K?
Love you.
Mwah.
December 31, 2009 — 1:20 pm
Comments: 28
It was excellent, thanks!
Please join us in front of the virtual fire at Badger House for a…no, wait — keep the hell away from my whisky, you!
Yep, I got whisky. And books. And socks (no, exciting technical socks). And a woolly Mike Nesmith hat (Huh. I thought I looked fetching and not at all Muslim with my scarf wrapped around my head). And dominoes (does anybody remember how to play dominoes?).
And one of those neat little Flip USB video cameras. Except I haven’t figured out how to drive it yet, so I offer you this lame .gif animation instead.
What did Sandy Claws bring you?
December 25, 2009 — 4:58 pm
Comments: 59
It’s the Christmas thread!
Eh. So the Senate passed Obamacare this morning, 60-39. Still, if the White House is back-burnering it until after the State of the Union Address, we’ve got a hope they won’t get this shit sangwich reconciled before the campaign season revs up. And then they (please god) get their majority trimmed, at the very least.
Mostly, I wanted to post the picture of Santa flipping the bird.
Merry Christmas, everybody! Here we go!
December 24, 2009 — 1:59 pm
Comments: 27
It must be Christmas
Yes, Christmas. That wonderful time of year when there’s nothing between my furry ears but visions of sugarplums. I gots the brain freeze.
I was going to post about webcollage, which is a kind of neat site that does random word searches of Google Images and turns them into a collage.
It refreshes once a minute. It’s a bit hypnotic at first.
And then I realized that, like, 80% of all the pictures on the internet are porn. I realized this because they started turning up in collages. Oh, holy crap.
I wasn’t searching for that picture, Uncle B — I swears.
So I got nothing.
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re WRONG. This blog is NOT boring, and I can prove it — I’ve broken the Alexa top one million.
Yeah, that’s right. There are now only 725,361 blogs more interesting than mine. Take that!
What I want to know is, how come 6.5% of my site traffic is coming from Sweden?
December 15, 2009 — 8:09 pm
Comments: 22
Done!
First time EVER I’ve finished Christmas this far ahead. Probably because it’s the first time in a decade I haven’t been falling off an airplane right before the big day.
We sent our cards, put up the tree, did all our shopping. We’re having a Very Amazon Christmas this year. Even our Christmas goose is coming by special delivery.
Yep. Goose this year. I hesitated because they’re so large and not very nice cold the next day, but we found a Waitrose that was selling half geese.
This is our bestest tree ever, too. It’s the first time we’ve spent any money on one. Our usual MO was to drive all around the county on the 23rd scavenging for a hunchback reject nobody else wanted. Two years running, we got a pretty decent tree for £1 at the Spar shop (think 7-11). One year, we had to fashion a tree toupée from twine and surplus branches.
And what did I get YOU for Christmas? This crappy post!
December 14, 2009 — 7:50 pm
Comments: 19
Happy Thanksgiving!
We’re having duck for Thanksgiving! Because I’m a idiot!
Also, today is my first anniversary of being an immigrant. That was a happy coincidence, falling over the finish line just in time for Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for many things today. I’m especially thankful for Michelle Obama’s eyebrows. Because, somehow, hundreds of people doing a Google Images search for that rude picture of Michelle are clicking on my snark about her eyebrows instead.
Eat too much turkey, drink too much beer, watch too much foo’ball and get into a fight with Uncle Bill for me, everyone!
November 26, 2009 — 5:52 pm
Comments: 25