I will put you some forbidden knowledge
The Appleby Horse Fair was held today, as it has been for three hundred something years. King James II granted a Royal Charter in 1685 allowing the fair to be held ‘near the River Eden’. So they do. They wash the horses in the river, gallop them down the ‘mad mile’ and then have a big horse sale.
It’s pretty much just a Gypsy affair now. Um, and that’s where it gets complicated.
There are the Gypsies of Romany descent, who have lived in England for many hundreds of years. There are Gypsies from Romania, the kind Adolph had a thing for. There is a traditionally nomadic people of Irish ethnicity who are also called Gypsies. And there are a number of crusties, essentially rag-tag old hippies and acid casualties who have dropped off the grid and live out of vans. And they are all, confusingly for a foreigner, called “Travellers” now. And protected by the government so hard, bald eagles think to themselves “geez, that’s a little over the top, isn’t it?”
I asked Uncle B a question about this a second ago, and he was like, “oh, god, you’re not going there, are you?” No. I’m not. This is one of those giant sore nerve-ending societal issues that the wise foreigner keeps her nose out of. I just had to explain it enough to talk about the article.
The Appleby Horse Fair is Romany Gypsies, of the kind that have been here since forever. The old farmers around here traditionally rubbed along with them pretty well. They’d let them park their wagons in the fields and hire them as seasonal labor.
So anyway, go to the article at the link and look at the horses. Notice anything?
The horses are almost all paints — that is, black with white splotches. Or white with black splotches, if you prefer. We recently watched an ancient program about the country — a relic from those long, long ago days before political correctness — that explained that Gypsies and American Indians love paints above all other horses. Because they’re both horse-stealing cultures and paints are each so individually unique and easily identifiable, it’s as good as a serial number.
So now you know.
Remember, Dead Pool tomorrow. Six sharp!
June 6, 2013 — 11:10 pm
Comments: 30
For this image, I am truly sorry
Oh, I am sorry. This is Lindsey Graham’s publicity still at full resolution. I swear I did not Photoshop this in any way, other than to make it monochrome. Then I sat down to do the weasel magic, but I just couldn’t…somehow…couldn’t look away from those pale, weird baby blues.
And I wasn’t strong enough to live with this picture all by myself.
So, Lindsey Graham, eh? National Journal reports that Lindsey mused aloud today whether bloggers deserve First Amendment protection. They describe it as a slip-up. Ha! Ha! Of course he knows they deserve First Amendment protection.
Actually, I buy that excuse. Even Graham isn’t boneheaded enough to claim the Bill of Rights doesn’t apply. But then the National Journal guy goes on to say something even stupider than Lindsey: “What Graham really meant to ask was whether bloggers deserve the specific protections of the First Amendment that are granted to the press.”
AHHHHHHHHH!!!! THERE ARE NO SPECIFIC PROTECTIONS GRANTED TO THE PRESS.
Here is the whole relevant chunk of the 1st Am:
“Congress shall make no law…abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press…”
That’s it. That’s all. That’s the entirety of the text regarding the press in ALLLLL of the founding documents: Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill of Rights. DO YOU SEE ANY SPECIFIC PROTECTIONS IN THERE, MISTER?!?
In fact, you could argue that speech — things non-journalists say — is mentioned before the press — things journalists say — and is therefore the more important and double-plus-protected of the two. But that’s just a “Mom always liked me best” kind of observation. Any custom or case law that has accreted around the First Amendment since then has to stand on its own merits, without wrapping itself in the Founders.
There.
Thenk yew.
I feel better.
Let the record show: I misspelled “Lindsey” with an E as “Lindsay” with an A throughout. I’ve just gone back and fixed it. Sorry if I misled you into a spelling error.
June 5, 2013 — 10:14 pm
Comments: 19
Wave g’bye to privacy, folks!
Saw this at a country show over the weekend. It’s the size of a pizza box. It will hover, stable and nearly silent, from a few inches to dozens of feet high. It will run for twenty minutes on a battery. It will send video back in real time. It has built in GPS. If it loses signal or runs low on juice, it returns to the place it was launched and lands.
The owner had only taken delivery a couple of hours before and had never run an RC vehicle before, and he was driving it like a champ. I asked how far he’d managed to send it, and he pointed to a clump of trees I reckon were a quarter mile away.
The base unit is £499, no doubt cheaper in the States (it’s American made Chinese made, Uncle B reminds me. I think the company’s American, though).
And yes, it comes in black.
June 4, 2013 — 9:33 pm
Comments: 50
Important Chicken Update
D’AWWWWWWW.
Brought home the new chooks this afternoon. The little black one is about five weeks, the little two-tone is about seven weeks. We can’t be more precise. Because our chicken lady is a bing-bong, is why. They’re getting along fine, though, so that shouldn’t be a problem.
No names yet. We’re thinking of calling the piebald one Magpie, Maggie for short. The little black one we’re trying very hard not to call Shaniqua or Towanda. Because people ask, and then we have to tell them.
And now begins the long, slow process of integrating them into the flock.
In related news, I bought a new high-powered squirt gun today.
June 3, 2013 — 8:29 pm
Comments: 27
What’re YOU looking at?
And finally, rounding out No Politics Week, this photograph Uncle B took in the garden today. It’s the lizard that lives in his cold frame. Near as I can figure, it’s a viviparous lizard or common lizard, Zootoca vivipara. Uncle B calls him Sid.
If you really hate reptiles, this is a pretty good place to be. There are only six native reptiles: two lizards, a slow worm and three snakes. Unfortunately, one of the snakes is both poisonous and protected.
Right. That’s it. Going to another show over the weekend, but probably can’t milk a whole week out of it. Prepare for cat blogging!
Good weekend, folks!
May 31, 2013 — 10:34 pm
Comments: 37
b-r-r-r-r-r…BRRRRRR
Oh, yeah, there were a BUNCH of these tank models at the country fair. They’re big, like getting on for three feet long, and radio controlled. Even the little model people are animated (which freaked the hell out of me because I didn’t know until I bent over for a closer look and one turned to look back at me. Cheeky tank model owner guy).
Shame they don’t run on gas; they’re easily be big enough to ride.
Anyway, they all apparently come from Russia. It’s a thing. So the only models you can get are Russian or German tanks. You want American or British, you have to buy the chassis and make the outer bits yourself.
I didn’t intend to fob you off with country fair pictures all week. Fayre, actually. I’m embarrassed to admit they spelled it Fayre. But every time I’ve looked in on the news this week, I’ve thought, “Nah.”
May 30, 2013 — 10:24 pm
Comments: 19
Improbably Tiny Ferret
This is a fully grown female ferret, believe it or don’t. I didn’t know they were ever this small, but apparently this is within normal range. She’s about a third the size of some of the boys they had.
The ferret rescue lady said there’s a trend of trying to miniaturize them, which she doesn’t like because it means breeding runts to runts, with likely health problems. ‘Twas all I could do not to shove this one in my pocket and run off.
I wasn’t going to give you another night of the county fair, but I had a pad around the news tonight and…eh. Improbably tiny ferret it is.
May 29, 2013 — 10:23 pm
Comments: 23
I promised you agricultural equipment, and I will not let you down
One of my favorite things at these country shows are the collectors. They set up together at one end of the show (I suspect they neither pay nor are paid to be there) in little camping trailers stuffed full of…whatever it is they collect. Spanners (that’s wrenches to you and me). Animal traps. Doll heads. Oil cans. Radios. They don’t sell anything, they just display a collection. Of one thing. Usually retired folks, they go around the fairs doing this by day and presumably whoop it up over camp fires after closing time.
If you show the slightest interest, you will always hear something worth knowing. I love this. I love listening to someone wax lyrical about some silly, incredibly banal thing he or she has fallen in love with. I go down the row and talk to every single one of them. And take pictures. That makes us both happy.
So these are from Axe Man’s collection. The ball-end thing is a pig stunner. You conk pigs over the head with it. The next thing over is a pole-axe. That sticky-outty bit is a hollow cylinder, with a blood channel cut in the side. So…stun, then pole-axe.
So, there you go. When you talk of being pole-axed by a bit of news, that’s what you’re talking. Um, ew?
May 28, 2013 — 11:22 pm
Comments: 13
‘STAAAAAACHE!
Yes! That is my hand holding a magnificent Tiny Mustache Owl! (That’s not really what it’s called. They told me, I forgot). His name is Mister Cornelius.
His main diet in the wild is insects, which is what the ‘stache is for — he just stands there majestically and food flies into it.
While I was holding him, his ear tufts suddenly went up like devil horns, his eyes went all spooky and evil, his whole face changed shape and I’m thinking, yipes, I’m for it! But he’d only spotted a dog walking by. Mister Cornelius, he doesn’t like dogs.
You know what this means, right? IT’S SUMMER FÊTE SEASON! The weather was awesome this weekend, and we went to a country fair in the Western end of Sussex and a steam rally in Kent.
And you know what that means, right? You’re gonna be staring at a LOT of agricultural equipment this week. w00t!!!1!!
May 27, 2013 — 10:35 pm
Comments: 26
and on and on and on…
I don’t usually leave you staring at a political P’shop over the weekend, but I just read the entirety of Obama’s nothingburger of a foreign policy speech and I had to get that ^^^^^ out of my system. (What is the matter with those bananas at MSNBC?!).
On a happier note, my new hit counter tells me my old one was seriously undercounting. How do I know which one is right? I was browsing the linked-from page and found this post from Doug Ross: per Alexa rankings, sweasel.com is the 180th most popular conservative news site.
That makes this the 876,001st most visited destination on the innertubes! Fewer than a million better places to hang out in cyberspace, baby. w00t!
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, Muricans!
May 24, 2013 — 9:08 pm
Comments: 44