Things you don’t like to see in your inbox
This isn’t spam. I’m registered with the US Embassy in London, so’s somebody knows where I’m supposed to be in case I…bump into Dennis Moore and I’m fresh out of lupins or something.
They don’t contact me often. The previous email I got from them was telling me the last mailing day for packages to reach home by Christmas. Then this.
The Department of State has issued this Worldwide Caution to update information on the continuing threat of terrorist actions and violence against U.S. citizens and interests throughout the world. U.S. citizens are reminded to maintain a high level of vigilance and to take appropriate steps to increase their security awareness. This replaces the Worldwide Caution dated July 18, 2012, to provide updated information on security threats and terrorist activities worldwide.
I don’t remember getting a Caution in July. I think it would’ve stuck in my head. Anyhoo, it rambles on for two thousand words of badly-formatted blah-blah-blah — stuff pretty much anyone who follows international news would probably know. This bit was cute:
In September 2012, civil unrest, large scale protests and demonstrations as well as violent attacks – some of which were in reaction to an anti-Islamic video and cartoons – targeted U.S. missions and schools overseas including in Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Sudan, and Yemen.
That’s as close as it got to Benghazi. Note the dollop of weasel sauce in the middle. If anyone wants a copy of the whole boring thing, I’ll send it to you or post it or something.
So! Why? And why now?
February 20, 2013 — 11:49 pm
Comments: 15
Chicken in a Blender
Gentlemen, we can rebuild her. We have the technology.
Heh. Got sidetracked playing with 3D modeling tonight. Damn, there’s a lot to learn just to get started. I keep inventing geometries that are positively non-Euclidean.
To be honest, I tried sticking a toe in politics tonight, and pulled back a smoking stump. Ugh. Great. Now the other kids’ll call me Ol’ Smoky Stumptoe.
Oh, hey, I know…computer tip for you. You know I picked up that address book virus a couple of weeks ago? Well, contrary to what I told you at the time, I later found out Malwarebytes didn’t clean it up for me and the damn virus sent out another embarrassing mailshot the next day. Malwarebytes has never let me down before, so I says to myself, “I bet they have an online forum with, like, tame geeks and stuff.”
They have. Go to that link, post your problem, and wait. They take turns troubleshooting threads. There’s some kind of credentialling program for guys who are allowed to troubleshoot virus removal, so the people on there are all vetted.
It took a bunch of back-and-forth and some running of utilities and posting of logs, but we got it all off eventually. In the end, I PayPal’d the guy who helped me a few bucks. By which I mean five of them. Eh, I’ve been unemployed a long time now.
February 19, 2013 — 11:58 pm
Comments: 19
First! (Then second, third and fourth).
There it is, folks. Proof that Spring is just around the corner, if you can hang on a little longer.
Specialist laying breeds will lay all through the Winter (and all chickens will lay through the Winter if you give them a few hours of artificial light). But fancy poncy fru-fru chickens like ours knock off between, oh, mid October and mid February. It’s the amount of daylight what does it.
How precise is a chicken’s internal clock? Wellll…Lucia laid that first egg (the grubby one on the end) on the 15th of February. Last year, she laid her first egg on the 16th of February. Of course, she is the Mary Poppins of chickens — practically perfect in every way.
Example: given that I have four chickens, you might assume that each of my girls has kindly laid me an egg. Well, you would be wrong. (Seriously, don’t you get tired of being wrong all the time?). The score would be Lucia 3, Vita 1. The other two just…better not…look too delicious until they start laying some damn eggs. Moochers!
I’ve been chatting up my chicken pushers, scoping out the new Spring collection. Hoping to add two more soon. Turns out, Vita’s sister won Best in Show at the Reading and District Bantam Society Annual Show last year. Same breed, same year, same flock, same batch of eggs.
Vita is the beautifullest of chickens, but she’s the very bottom of the pecking order in our little flock. Ain’t life funny like that?
Another Dead Pool?! *sigh*. I had no idea who Jerry Buss was, but Uncle Al was so chuffed to win dick, I couldn’t bear to see a hurt looked on that adorable little mug of his. You do have an adorable little mug, right Al? I mean, I had an Uncle Al who was as ugly as a smacked ass, but that’s neither here nor there. Meet you back here Friday, 6WBT for Dead Pool Round Umpty-ump!
February 18, 2013 — 10:59 pm
Comments: 33
Milestones
I passed a million views a little while ago. I didn’t notice when. Drudge gets that many hits in the time it takes him to sneeze, but I’m chuffed to make it after six years. Just thought I’d mention it, as today is my Sixth Blogaversary! Woo woo!
Lessee…Wikipedia sez the sixth anniversary is Iron (traditional US), Sugar (traditional UK) or Wood objects (modern US). Iron, sugar and wood. I’m not sure what I can do with that.
Oh, it’s also Uncle B and my fourth wedding anniversary. So that’s…Linen and silk or fruit and flowers or electrical appliances. Okay, NOW you’re talking. I think we can build a pretty acceptable orgy out of those things.
We couldn’t think of anything we really wanted to do to celebrate, so we’ve got a bottle of champagne, a goose for dinner and we’re going to watch the High Def version of The Birds. Smooooooth.
Oh, we’re also thinking of buying ourselves a couple more chooks to celebrate, rounding out our little flock to six. If we can find a local supplier who’s got what we want when we want it. Stay tuned.
Anyway, thanks so much for coming here. I love my commenters. And yes, I love you guys who read and don’t comment, too. Here’s to another year of chickens, silly Photoshops and fart jokes!
p.s. And don’t forget — tomorrow, 6WBT sharp. Dead Pool Round 45!
February 14, 2013 — 9:56 pm
Comments: 31
Flickaburger
Say, I haven’t posted about our little food scandal, have I? A month ago, somebody tested some supermarket hamburgers (who does this?) and found they were up to 35% horse meat. It was Tesco’s, one of our more downmarket chains, so everyone pretty much yukked it up.
Then they started testing more stuff. Horse turned up in a LOT more places, anywhere there was beef. Or, rather, “beef” — some products were 100% horse.
And then pork turned up where it shouldn’t oughta, and the Muslims and Jews turned green.
It’s touched Waitrose, our most upmarket chain. It caught Burger King out, and they had to run an apology ad in the paper. Oh, this one has legs (yeah, that’s been the best part — the jokes).
The problem isn’t horsemeat, of course, which is eaten on purpose in many places on the continent. The problem is they didn’t know what the hell was in our food.
Me, I eat a lot of dodgy cafe burgers and value-priced chili, so I’ve undoubtedly consumed my share. Luckily for me, I’m not a bit squeamish about what I eat — unless I see it being made. If you want to know more — and why would you? — Richard North is your man.
p.s. Speaking of DNA and dodgy burgers…yes, I’m calling the Dead Pool for Davem123. I’ll be astonished if that perpburger tests as somebody else. See you here Friday 6 WBT.
February 13, 2013 — 11:49 pm
Comments: 32
Huh.
So. Looks like this nutty butterball set off another nuke, huh? Sorry. Still not feeling all hand-wavy about it.
I think it’s the hair. What is it about the Kim Jungs and those loopy haircuts? I understand nobody wants to tell the boss he looks like an idiot — particularly when the boss is a megalomaniac psycho — but c’mon. Really.
p.s. Chances are Davem123 is going to win hisself some dick.
February 12, 2013 — 11:01 pm
Comments: 50
Job opening!
Zo, the Pope is retiring, eh? That’s something that happens, like…never.
Yeah, I don’t know where I was going with this. I think I had that old game Mystery Date stuck in my head. Remember that?
Oh, hey, Kung Hei Fat Choi, y’all! Happy Year of the Snake (that sounds auspicious, don’t it?) Yesterday was Chinese New Year, so we drove to our favorite Chinese restaurant for takeaway. Which is a long, long, STUPID long drive, and the weather was lousy. High winds and raining sideways. The ground is saturated, so it was all slopping over the road in a bad way. We plowed through a few puddles of an almost-stall-the-car depth.
Though seeing the FaceBook pictures of what fell on my buds back in Rho d’Island this weekend, perhaps I shouldn’t complain.
So, hey, you going to apply for that pope thing?
February 11, 2013 — 11:18 pm
Comments: 42
Gosh, is that the time?
Sorry, sorry…I’ve had my nose in tutorials all evening and I lost track of the time. Blender again — the free, Open Source 3D modeling and animation package.
I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but I have promised myself I’ll slog through some tutorials this year and brush up on some of the tools I’ve used since forever. Sometimes, you learn one little trick and it opens whole worlds of possibilities.
Alas, I’m a long way from giving Mister Disney a run for his money.
Remember – here, tomorrow, six sharp Weasel Blog Time. NEW DEAD POOL!
February 8, 2013 — 12:05 am
Comments: 16
Imagine
John Lennons on the rampage in Belo Horizonte, Brazil.
Convicted drug trafficker John Lenon Camargos Gomes, 22, suspected of five murders and two attempts. John Lennon Ribeiro Siqueira, 19, was busted for robbing a lottery shop. Armed and dangerous. John Lennon Fonseca Ferreira, 22, was nicked for attempted robbery. John Lennon Sebastiao da Silva, 18, was found dead in a car, victim of a suspected revenge killing.
The name John Lennon became very popular in Brazil after the Beatlecide. For decades, apparently.
February 6, 2013 — 10:36 pm
Comments: 44
I’m trying to be all shocked and outraged
I’m trying really, really hard to feel menaced. I really am. But. I dunno.
If you haven’t seen the North Korean propaganda YouTube everyone’s talking about, go see it now. No, I mean it — if you want to see it, go now. Copies are being taken down as quickly as they’re uploaded, on account of it violates Activision’s copyright.
Yeah. The games company. That scary bomb-America footage was stolen from the computer game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. And the soundtrack is a tinkly piano version of We Are the World.
Are you askeert yet? Because there’s also a sleeping Korean, dreaming his dreamy dreams of world domination, and smiling in his sleep. And an occasional swoosh of sparkly stars, like the one that wafted out of Tinkerbell’s wand in the introduction to Disney’s Wonderful World of Color. B-r-r-r-ing.
If this were any scarier, it could be an episode of My Little Pony.
February 5, 2013 — 11:15 pm
Comments: 28