So it begins…
Saddle up, here we go heading into the 2016 election (or as bloggers call it Easy Pickin’s Season).
If you missed this weekend’s bonus Photoshop, do feel free to spread it around should you find it worthy. I’ve seen it in the wild once already, which feels me with deelight. (Forgot to sign it, tho).
That was a Photoshopper’s dream: a strong, simple idea, lots of big hi-res photos to choose from, close correspondence between the thing and the thing you’re morphing it into. Mutilating poor old Chelsea was so easy; the hard part was eliminating the type in the original Elle cover. Thanks again to RD Brewer for sending me the idea.
Hillary! isn’t so easy, but if ever aristocrat needed mocking…
April 13, 2015 — 9:43 pm
Comments: 7
By request
RD Brewer wrote and asked if I was gonna do a P’shop of Chelsea Clinton’s Elle cover. Dude, I didn’t know there was one! Yup. Here it is.
If only I could think of some way to parody it.
April 11, 2015 — 7:16 pm
Comments: 29
…that is all…
I was going to ask how I missed this creepy bunny, but I chased it up and found I missed it because it’s three years old.
More creepy Easter bunnies. How do they allus get the Easter Bunny so wrong?
April 8, 2015 — 7:28 pm
Comments: 5
Okay, kids — Grandma’s #ready!
Thanks to Wolfus Aurelius for the idea. And thanks to Some Vegetable for “Hillary is the Bob Dole of the Democratic Party!”
Have a good weekend!
March 27, 2015 — 10:11 pm
Comments: 21
Trying to be helpful
You must have seen this today: the words journalists aren’t allowed to use when talking about Hillary. On account of they are sexist or something. This per an unofficial group of Hillary supporters, who may or may not by now realize what a shit-awful mistake it was.
The words are: polarizing, calculating, disingenuous, insincere, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, over confident, secretive, “will do anything to win”, “represents the past”, “out of touch”.
Could they have offered a more obvious list of what they see as their candidate’s most glaring weaknesses? Jesus, people are stupid.
But not us. We’re smart. And helpful. I’ll be we can come up with a lot lot more words and phrases journalists need to eschew when describing Hillary. I’ll start.
Castrating bitch. Butch. Crusty pantsuit. Cankles. Dessicated hag. Lying piece of shit. Harpy. Hambeast. Shrew. Battleaxe.
C’mon — it’s fun!
p.s. Soon as she throws that tattered hat in the ring, I’m’onna try again to make one of my Hillary! posters go viral. This is my hour. I can feel it!
March 26, 2015 — 11:06 pm
Comments: 21
Okay, tell me THIS isn’t an improvement
Looks good on her. She’s got kind of an elderly Jesus thing going.
March 24, 2015 — 9:20 pm
Comments: 16
Welp, here we go
So, first hat in the ring, and it’s a sombrero. Bad-dum-tssss.
I like Ted Cruz. I really do. I think. From what I know. But I just cannot deal with his face. It just ain’t right.
And if you think that’s incredibly shallow and foolish of me, just think how not shallow and foolish I am compared to huge swathes of America.
Facial hair. It’s the only answer.
Yeah, I know I’ve posted this before. I realized that. What I didn’t realize was that I’d used the exact same starting photo. This isn’t a repost. I’ve done the same stupid Photoshop twice.
March 23, 2015 — 9:46 pm
Comments: 28
Oh, grandma!
In the previous thread, geoff axed for a P’shop of Hillary and the iconic phone. Happy to oblige, but I couldn’t come up with anything better than riffing on her pretend inability to comprehend the cellphone. I’ve got all the bits and pieces still open, if you can think of a better take.
Seriously, did they believe this one would fly? Like, “c’mon, honey — you know grandma can’t operate simple modern gadgets. But you still want her for President of the United States in 2016, right?”
Some of these errors are so awful and unforced, you have to wonder what the Clintons are playing at. Whether they know she can’t win, but they’ve decided to swing the big Clinton dick around and ruin 2016 for their party, because…fuck you, we’re the Clintons.
I can honestly see that bunch of sociopaths doing that.
Oh, here you go, Deborah — my big color Hillary! 2016 poster, the little black and white witchy one, plus some assorted Hillary ‘shops.
March 11, 2015 — 9:18 pm
Comments: 34
Meh-eh-eh-eh
Browsing the news tonight, I was struck by how much Debbie Wasserman Schultz resembles the goat from yesterday’s post (note: may have been slightly ‘shopped to emphasize goatiness). Ordinarily, I might feel bad that Debbie Wasserman Schultz looks like a goat, but she’s a really horrible person. So, actually, on the whole, I feel pretty good that Debbie Wasserman Schultz looks like a goat.
This afternoon, Uncle B and I were discussing a woman we know who has a really tragic case of resting bitchface. Also, she’s unpleasant. But we were debating whether she’s really unpleasant, or whether bitchface makes her seem unpleasant, or whether walking around with tragic bitchface has made her actually become unpleasant.
We’re philosophical like that.
So I told him the story of this guy I knew when I was a wee slip of a weasel. He was a good-looking guy, in a cute boy-next-door way. He was a little dim, with a sunny, outgoing personality. A pleasant guy to be around.
Then he smashed himself up in a car accident. They put him back together, but he totally looked like a thing that had been put back together. Hollow cheeks, mad staring eyes. In a word, creepy.
But did he really become creepy after that? He seemed to. Or was he the same sunny, happy guy in a creepy shell? Or did the stigma of living with a creepy face make him creepy? It’s so hard to see past basic biology.
Still, we have the whole weekend to figure it out.
February 20, 2015 — 9:23 pm
Comments: 32
hoo boy
So, Isis put that Jordanian pilot in a cage, poured gas on him and burned him alive with a good quality camera rolling?
Link goes to Breitbart London. There’s one still image showing a man standing in a cage with fire to his knees; nothing too traumatizing if you don’t think about it too much. I would recommend not following their outlinks to the actual video. Not that I’ve done it, but there are some images I’ve put it my head that I would really rather I hadn’t. Stupid internet.
These are people who attract new recruits with beheading videos. They’re looking for people who think “say, that’s for me!” when they watch a film of someone’s head being sawn off slowly.
Yeah, it’s not one clean whack with a sword. That’s one of those pictures I wish I hadn’t put in my head.
So, let’s face it: we’re looking at a bunch of guys who would be freelance serial killers if this whole ISIS thing hadn’t come along for them. Not that I’m letting Islam off the hook — it’s clearly a religion that lends itself to militancy — but it’s pretty obvious they are working to gather an army of perverts and sick fucks.
It seems pretty unlikely we’re going to go in and kill them all. But can we at least keep them bottled up over there until they start killing each other?
February 3, 2015 — 9:22 pm
Comments: 13