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Do not miss this!

Pah! You guys and your weak, punk-ass trolls! Behold, the mother tincture. From the Dionne Quints thread, the bacony stench of Canada:

they were born outside Callendar Ont,
you useless piece of shit ..

No, no. Our boy is only cracking his knuckles. Wait for it…

who was it that said nothing like this happens in the U.S.?
thats a laugh .
americans are brain washed into thinking they’re the shit ,
that they were the “main part” of every world war, and that they just own.
guess what bud some STUPID FUCKING AMERICANS posted Hitler as time magazines MAN OF THE YEAR IN 1939 , which btw was the start of WW2, you know the one where 55 million people died ?
oh yeah and also the one were the U.S. sat on there ass for the first half, and then jumped in at the end to get some credit .
oh wait that was also WW1,
and everything else you fat fucks do.
i dont have anything against the U.S., but i dont like naive people.
since your one of the most illiterate first world nations why dont you guys stop listening to media bullshit thats let out by the government of Bush(haha), learn how to read, pick up a history book, and learn how your COUNTRY IS NOT BETTER THAN ANY OTHER and if anything its corrupted, brainwashed, and obese.

Bee-yootiful. That’s what the real thing looks like, ladies and gentlemen.

My blog is complete.

May 22, 2008 — 2:24 pm
Comments: 72

Honey, I think the magic has gone out of my magic rocks

magic rocks

Lookee what I found cleaning out the sideboard!

I was going to blame Uncle B for this — he’s knows how much I love this stupid Junior Scientist shit — but the date on the package is 1988. I was 28, and going through my “oh my god I’m a grownup now and I can buy all the toys I want!” phase.

I’m still going through it. Like when I stared out sadly at people frolicking about in the lake a few years ago, scuffing my foot and thinking, “I wish I could have a stupid inflatable boat.” Followed by, “OMIGOSH, I can have a stupid inflatable boat!”

I find it hard to absorb this lesson. I don’t know why.

Anyhow, I’ve been throwing out junk for months, so I had to eat, like, four of those huge kosher dills to get an appropriate jar.

Turns out, there are instructions. The instructions are: blah blah blah blah. Whatever. I don’t really do instructions.

The Magic Solution — which I assume was once a liquid of some kind — had fossilized into a chewy brick. Not that I actually chewed it or anything. I gather that would be bad. That much of the instructions I absorbed, mostly because it was in all caps and repeated several times.

I tried to revive the magic with some boiling water and a stick. It didn’t dissolve completely, but I figured there had to be a little magic left. I couldn’t tell; the dye in the rocks seeped out and made the whole thing a milky pink opacity.

When I got up this morning and poured off the liquid, I discovered…

— 8:35 am
Comments: 27