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Mall cop Tarzan

Meet DeWet du Toit. His name means “de wet of the roof” but his friends call him Wet Twat. I’m just sure they do.

Psych! He doesn’t have any friends. He’s a South African bodybuilder and mall cop who love-love-LOVES him some Tarzan. And, um, Hollywood film contracts.

Three days a week, he lives in the jungle, just like Tarzan, plus a cameraman (the other four, he lives with his mom and dad). The plan is to win a Hollywood movie deal by filming himself, mostly splashing barefoot through puddles of muddy water, from what I saw.

I kept thinking, “dude, you are so going to get worms or cut yourself really badly.” If that’s the kind of excitement they’re looking for in a Tarzan movie, he’s got a shot.


He says his best friend is an elephant called Shaka, and he’s been photographed with lots of other African exotics, so somebody lets this young man hang out in a petting zoo.

That doesn’t strike me as a great idea.

January 30, 2012 — 9:05 pm
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