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Eh. I’ve seen tougher crowds

I remember being quite proud of the deft way Bush ducked those shoes pitched at him during a news conference in Iraq. Dude had reflexes.

“If you want the facts, it’s a size 10 shoe that he threw,” Mr Bush joked afterwards.

Obama wasn’t quite as graceful. For the record, the reporter swears he didn’t mean to interrupt; he thought Obama was done speaking. With the way O drones on and on and on, that’s not unbelievable.

Anyhoo, I would, on the whole, rather a certain decorum be observed at these things. Lord knows, American politics is usually a pretty undignified affair. On the other hand, crying rivers I am not.

And despite what you may have read on Twitter, the “heckling” incident is not overshadowing the main story — Obama’s de facto immigration amnesty by executive order. I had to dig a little in the news services to find a headline for the former (oh, and do follow the link — could they have snapped a less flattering shot of the reporter, Neil Munro?).

Maybe the wires didn’t want to have to repeat his question.

Good weekend, y’all!

June 15, 2012 — 10:02 pm
Comments: 32

So, how’s your coccyx?

Uncle B bought this knobbly rubber mat thing in the market. You walk on it for five minutes and the knobbles massage your aching feet.

I started to transcribe the whole box for you, but the Chinglish wasn’t all that bad (not counting the left foot is labeled right, and vice versa). Actually, I have a lot of sympathy with Chinese traditional medicine. After all these millenia, they have found some things that work…even if I can’t get on board with why they think they work.

Anyhow, I thought it might be handy to learn some important body part names in Italian and French. Mon dieu, mes glandes genitales endoloris!

June 14, 2012 — 9:36 pm
Comments: 39

Tiny Bubbles

w00t! Reader Big Blue Bug, down there in the comments, promised me a Don Ho ukulele headstock inlay in return for some Don Ho art.

Sadly, I cannot accept the gift. You know what they’re doing to people who export shell inlay these days?

This CITES enforcement thing is a trip; I’ve heard some horror stories from people trying to import antique instruments with ivory, bone and pearl inlay.

Either that, or totally no big deal, depending on who you talk to. Which tells me it’s probably another thing that individual Customs agents have a lot of autonomy over. One bureaucrat with a hair across his ass on a Monday morning can make a lot of lives miserable.

All’s I know is, I tried to buy some pearl from StewMac and they can’t ship the stuff outside the US. But DePaule can do it because they ship directly from their supplier in Viet Nam.

Yep. It’s another one of those “international” treaties that somehow manages to crush trade in one country and toss it to another. I’d call it an unintended consequence, but I’m not at all sure it is.

Anyway, I’ll be cutting my own inlays, but here’s a little Don Ho lovin’ for BBB, just for being awesome. Mwah.

June 13, 2012 — 11:04 pm
Comments: 5

More on moron

NEWSFLASH! Meghan McCain’s new book is out! And it’s stupid!

This book might be for you also if you’re interested in McCain’s thoughts on theology: “God for me is found everywhere; in my family, in the desert, in first kisses, in smiles, in laughter, in friendship, in cheesecake, in red wine, and above all else in love.” Or her thoughts on Little Rock, Ark.: “This place sucks.” Or on strippers: “Strippers. Strippers. Strippers. What is a proper trip to Vegas without strippers?” She adds that she feels “incredibly conflicted” about the sex industry but that the strippers she met on the trip — Daisy, Jessica, and G-Cup Bitch — were “happy and well adjusted.”

When you title your book ‘America, You Sexy Bitch’, you’re pretty much hanging a “dumb, with a chance of strippers” sign around its neck before abandoning it at the bus station.

O, why do I love ragging on Meghan McCain so much? Let me count the ways. Sufficient to make her block me on Twitter, anyhoo.

I thought about buying this reeking pile of literature just for laffs, but the Kindle version is over twenty bucks.

Shit, y’all, I could almost get a box of Premium saltines for that!

June 12, 2012 — 8:36 pm
Comments: 27

Count yer blessings, Yanks

In case you aren’t down with math or hip to the current exchange rate, that box of Premium Fucking Saltines costs $26.73 in real money.

Dang. What a weasel has to do for a cracker around here.

Speaking of economic tragedy, our neighbors just got back from a week in Spain. I asked if they saw signs of impending doom and they laughed. Not so much the impending doom, but the madness that drove them to it.

They said Spain is lousy with pointless and abandoned infrastructure projects. Like sections of new, modern, multi-lane highway that run parallel to the old, usable road for miles and then just stop. Connecting nothing to nothing, with no access at either end.

Way, WAY out in the middle of the empty countryside, standing in a field slowly grassing over, they saw an enormous concrete bridge. The kind that a big highway would pass over and another big highway pass under, but no road. Or town or anything to go from or to. All funded with loans that are now coming due.

Liberalism really is a cargo cult. The Spanish know — in a dim, inchoate way — that roads are important to a thriving modern economy, so they built little road-shaped shrines out in the ass-end of nowhere, hoping prosperity would follow.

Oh, this thing is going to get ugly.

June 11, 2012 — 10:00 pm
Comments: 46

…his brain is squirming like a toad…

So, am I as’posed to say I’m being silent, or am I just as’posed to shut-the-hell up for a day?

Ha! Kidding! Ace is pushing June 8 as a day of blogger silence (or, rather, a day for pestering your Congresscritter instead of posting) on account of the above nutcake — convicted bomber, perjuror, drug dealer, Demo activist and all-around nasty piece of work Brett Kimberlin.

Unfortunately, Kimberlin is also a persistent and energetic jailhouse lawyer (and worse) who has lately dedicated himself to making the lives of conservative bloggers miserable. Follow the above link to learn more.

This may not be the party line on this one, but I don’t think this is a political issue. Not really. I think this guy is a classic sociopath first and a Democrat on a roll of the dice.

That’s not a good thing.

June 8, 2012 — 10:46 pm
Comments: 35


Sometimes, nothing in my wildest Photoshop can compete with reality. Sheesh. I thought Hill had something good going on with that Bond villain look — you know, severe hair pull-back, Nehru jacket. This Hillbo the Clown thing, not so much.

But I don’t want to talk about that, I want to talk about Huma Abedin (hahaha…see wot I did thur?). Do you realize it’s been a year next week since Anthony Weiner resigned?

Huma continues as Hillary’s lovely assistant — last caught on camera in that role last October, handing Hill her blackberry with the news that Mo Ghadaffi was an ex-parrot.

Two months later, Huma gave birth to little Jordan Zain Weiner. Jordan Zain Weiner. Is there no end to the tragedy?

Anyhoo, the New York Post published a little snotty about Weiner’s new role as a stay-at-home Dad. And then the Atlantic pulled off a neat trick – they wrote a post about the Post‘s post.

That way, they could recap last year’s delightful Weiner scandal, repeat all the Post‘s snark about Weiner’s Mister Mom act, and then be ever so snooty about what a dreadful lowbrow rag the Post is for printing such scurrilous filth.

God, they think we’re stupid.

June 7, 2012 — 10:47 pm
Comments: 27

Bad season for heroes

Annnnnnnnd….there goes Ray Bradbury! (Nope, nobody had him in the dead pool this time, though he’s been a popular pick in the past).

He deserved more honor as a pure writer than he ever got; I’m sure because he wrote science fiction. Anyway, he got all the praise available to a science fiction writer. It’s probably thirty years since I’ve read Bradbury, and I’ve sat here remembering story after story.

Fittingly, I just finished this CSM science quiz when I read the news. I got a disappointing 69. Why don’t you go see if you can kick my ass? Do it for Ray.

And let’s have somebody I don’t like and admire die next, K?

June 6, 2012 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 35

You’re welcome, Ma’am

Aw, now isn’t that nice. The Queen just appeared on television to thank everyone — that means me — who helped organize festivities for her Jubilee. Some monarchs have the nicest manners.

Meanwhile, soon as I dry out a little, I’m sure I’ll be back to blogging about…whatever it is I usually blog about. Chickens and banjos, is it?

p.s. McGoo is not claiming dick for the Trololo guy, so Dead Pool Round 32 rolls on…

June 5, 2012 — 9:50 pm
Comments: 27

Can you spot me?

Okay, okay…these are just some random old biddies for the BBC News site, but we had our village street party today and it looked just the same. It went well. Something about drinking alcohol at noon makes me feel delightfully wicked and debauched.

Then we had us a little nap and totally forgot the lighting of the beacons tonight. Yeah, that whole Lord of the Rings ancient-signal-beacons-on-the-hills thing? REAL!

They’re all over this county, to warn us of pirates and Frenchmen (BIRM).

Did y’all watch any of the flotilla on Sunday? It doesn’t get much more British than that. Her Maj and Phil the Greek stood at attention in the prow of the lead boat for four hours in the lashing rain (poor bastard’s in the hospital tonight, but he made it through) with a thousand little historic boats floating behind. Then, at the end, the London Philharmonic (nice and dry inside a barge) played the standards while the poor choir stood on deck in a soaking, sheeting downpour singing Land Of Hope and Glory, Rule Britannia, and God Save the Queen.


June 4, 2012 — 10:33 pm
Comments: 22