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Amanda Holden’s World of Ham

The Brits are a contradictory lot. In some ways, privacy obsessed. In others, right up in each others’ bidness.

Take the Planning Notice. If you want to make changes to your property, you have to file an application. That info then goes into the local paper, and on a printed notice, which is stuck up on a light pole or something near the scene of the proposed change. And then your neighbors can complain about it and try to get it blocked, if they like.

It’s more intrusive than building permits in the States. You see Planning Notices for things like replacing a broken gate or changing the sign over a shop. And the process applies to rural areas, too. I’m not entirely agin’ it — a lot of the charm of this charming place we live depends on keeping things just exactly the way they are forever — but it does make my libertarian bone itch.

Anyhow, in an “I wish I’d thought of that” sort of stunt, this guy has been stapling funny fake planning notices all over Brighton. Do check it out. And the rest of his blog; he’s got some funny going on.

Comments


Comment from David Gillies
Time: December 3, 2012, 10:21 pm

Shades of Harry Hutton from Chase me Ladies… (who’s been a lazy sod recently and hasn’t posted anything in ages.) I love the spoof letter genre. I had to keep putting the Henry Root Letters down because I was laughing so hard I got spots in front of my eyes. Side note: Henry Root creator William Donaldson was an, ahem, colourful character who boinked Carly Simon and Sarah Miles among others and took up crack recreationally in the 80′s.


Comment from Hunt Johnsen
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:11 pm

Pretty funny, but why does the town stationary have a mosque on its masthead?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:13 pm

Because of this. It was the Prince Regent’s private pleasure dome in the 18th C. It’s awesomely tacky.


Comment from Redd
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:23 pm

A couple of days ago, I read your Larry Hagman musings which brought me to a Linda Gray link (she looks great for 71) which brought me to a Charles Webb link. Remember him? He & his wife are living in poverty in Hove. I wanted to ask you why the UK allowed them to immigrate there when they have no money and are more than a bit odd. Do you know them?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:40 pm

There really ought to be a word for when you follow a link, and find a link, and find a link and find your whole day was shot.

No, I don’t know Charles Webb. I mean, I’ve never heard of him.


Comment from Redd
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:45 pm

Webb wrote The Graduate.


Comment from Redd
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:49 pm

“There really ought to be a word for when you follow a link, and find a link, and find a link and find your whole day was shot.”

Once, I stayed up almost all night following Wiki links of these old bands and groupies from the 60s. A lot OD’d but it seems as many drank themselves to death before they hit 35. If you are downing a quart of gin at breakfast, you are not long for this world…


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 3, 2012, 11:59 pm

Oh, God – really?


Comment from dissent555
Time: December 4, 2012, 12:21 am

“In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea. . . . ”

Heh! Those barbarians and their pleasure domes!


Comment from feynmangroupie
Time: December 4, 2012, 1:00 am

He’s so right about the newts!

They’re mesmerizing.

Someobody should submit spoof legislation to Congress…oh, wait, nevermind.


Comment from AliceH
Time: December 4, 2012, 1:41 am

Love that site! His petrol-nozzle-mystery post was riveting.

As I get older, I find more of my internet meanderings are not so much following endless links, but memories being triggered that initiate new searches, then more searches, etc.

Which is how I wound up looking at street views of my old digs at Holland House, Holland Road, and discovered the dull pub next door (The Wick) seems to have become a nice pub indeed – with Thai food, no less! And that The Shakespeare’s Head is still regarded by many as the best pub in Brighton (yay!), though for some reason, none mentioned the juke box – it was the huge variety of sausage and mash on the menu(whut?).

It’s sobering to think that it’s been 30 years since I’ve been there. Vodka and orange – stat!


Comment from Deborah
Time: December 4, 2012, 5:14 am

Just stick “itis” on the end. That means acute, as in severe, or active. Linkitis—a condition where the sufferer cannot stop following links on the Internet.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 4, 2012, 1:16 pm

“Linkitis” – that works for me, Deborah!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 4, 2012, 1:16 pm

This is what comment spammers are doing at the moment:

Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several weeks of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?

And:

I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your site. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility problems? A number of my blog audience have complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera. Do you have any solutions to help fix this issue?

And:

Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is valuable and all. Nevertheless just imagine if you added some great pictures or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this blog could certainly be one of the greatest in its field. Superb blog!

And:

Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your post seem to be running off the screen in Safari. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility but I thought I’d post to let you know. The design look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed soon. Many thanks

And:

I was curious if you ever thought of changing the layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

Reams and reams of it. I always said they’d be dangerous if they ever got their grammar together.


Comment from Clifford Skridlow
Time: December 4, 2012, 1:46 pm

@David Gillies:
You might have a look at “The Lazlo Letters”, by Don Novello, if you can find a copy. He set the bar for spoof letters in my book.

http://www.amazon.com/Lazlo-Letters-Don-Novello/dp/1563052857


Comment from AliceH
Time: December 4, 2012, 4:24 pm

Phil Lucas’ post has a write up at HuffingtonPostUK now.


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 4, 2012, 4:52 pm

I’ll follow any link fearlessly, if I have any indication it won’t reference the Nov. 6th Coronation or the “fiscal cliff”!!!!


Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: December 4, 2012, 5:17 pm

Amanda Holden’s World of Ham? That’s got to be some sort of sick fucking joke, surely?

Seriously, it sounds like something out of Viz.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: December 4, 2012, 6:15 pm

A joke?! Have you seen Amanda Holden’s hams‽


Comment from David Gillies
Time: December 4, 2012, 9:44 pm

Clifford, Lazlo Toth is another of my faves. Good satire is utterly po-faced.


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