web analytics

Ho Ho Ho

I’m still doing my best to ignore the news completely, and now with the holidays coming at us like an onrushing sleigh ride of terror, I’m finding it harder than usual to pull posts out of my ass. You probably noticed. So I’m hanging out the light blogging flag until the New Year.

Oh, I’ll still squeeze something out five days a week. I’ll probably do a little post recycling. I’m green like that.

Do please drop by and chat anyway. I worry when I short the blog too much. Neglected blogs bleed readers.


Comment from orabidoo
Time: December 6, 2012, 12:00 am

Neglected blogs bleed readers, but a well lubricated (posting) Weasel attracts them in great numbers.

And what might the nectar du jour be, Dame Stoat?

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 6, 2012, 12:09 am

Ignoring the world news of late seems to lift the post-coronation depression somewhat.
Just keep us informed of the chickens’ or rats’ preparations for Christmas and any local happenings, e.g., the World of Ham grand opening.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: December 6, 2012, 12:26 am

Oh, dear god. Don’t get me going on rats.

We’ve got one, possibly two, dead and aromatically decomposing in the walls. Actually, beneath the floor right underneath the bed, near as we can tell.

This will be the second Christmas we’ve been blessed with dead rat.

I am drinking vodka and lemon at the moment.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: December 6, 2012, 12:33 am


What was that about the dead rats in the walls? (she asked innocently.)

Too bad you can’t rent one of those weiner-dogs. I seem to recall seeing something, on Animal Planet, about their capacity to chase rats into their lairs, due to their elongation. If they can tussle with live ones, I wouldn’t hesitate to assume they’re competent at apprehending dead ones.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: December 6, 2012, 12:35 am

Γ€ propos of nothing I offer this item just to keep things rolling along a bit.

A home invader caught after he and his pals robbed a South Carolina family while they were putting up their Christmas decorations was identified as one K’Shawn Aldontay Morris. I imagine that his mama thought she’d come up with a nice original middle name, not remembering that she’d actually heard it before when somebody read her a linguine box.

Comment from orabidoo
Time: December 6, 2012, 1:00 am

If I did not see it typed by the weaselly paws I could have sworn it came from the script.

Baldrick: Sir, there seems to be a dead rat right underneath the bed.

Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Barleigh: Oh, dash and blast hop-hoppity dooddally derring do with brass knobs on it. The chaps from Oxbridge are at it again, frightully jolly pranksters!

Hugh Grant: I happen to be at the moment The Prime Minister of England and what our nation desperately cannot afford to miss are the good graces of swarthy prostitutes!

Nigel Farage, MP: Dead rat, Baldrick? Is his name Herman? Herman Van Rompuy? It cannot be Herman, who is uglier than six decomposing rats.

Arthur Pendragon, King of The Britons: Good Weasel, in the days of olden glory, when honor meant much more to a man than life, and the days knew only strife to tell right from wrong through lance and sword

Boris Johnson: I so want to be Donald Trump.

[Drawing] How now! a rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!

Makes a pass through the arras

[Behind] O, I am slain!

Falls and dies

O me, what hast thou done?

Nay, I know not:
Is it the king?

O, what a rash and bloody deed is this!

A bloody deed! almost as bad, good mother,
As kill a king, and marry with his brother.

As kill a king!

Ay, lady, ’twas my word.

Lifts up the array and discovers POLONIUS

Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell!
I took thee for thy better: take thy fortune;
Thou find’st to be too busy is some danger.
Leave wringing of your hands: peace! sit you down,
And let me wring your heart; for so I shall,
If it be made of penetrable stuff,
If damned custom have not brass’d it so
That it is proof and bulwark against sense.

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 6, 2012, 1:19 am

Poke it with the Geiger counter.
If you can’t get a readout, it must have reacted to the virus I designed in my black submersible dirigible trimaran.

Comment from steve
Time: December 6, 2012, 1:20 am

Now THAT is art!

Comment from Armybrat
Time: December 6, 2012, 2:38 am

We just endured some “friends” for a holiday season dinner. He is hubby’s co-worker, good guy. She is his wife…she sets my teeth on edge, like fingernails down a chalk board…..hubby and I have a theory related to his attraction to her. I LOVE him…if she NEVER crosses my threshold again it will be too soon. But she will, because hubby and I so enjoy him. Happy fucking holidays.

Comment from Pupster
Time: December 6, 2012, 2:52 am

Whatcha thinking about?


Badger stuff, I guess.

Comment from Tim
Time: December 6, 2012, 3:29 am

As long as you don’t literally pull them our your…, then I think that we’ll be good.

I feel a lot better after turning the news off.


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: December 6, 2012, 3:30 am

Not too late for a Zombie Churchill…just sayin’ πŸ™‚

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 6, 2012, 6:01 am

Reports of Rodents of unusual size always bring to mind my first ( and please, please God, my last ) trip to Buffalo New York. It was in the early 70’s -the nadir of the decline of the rust belt- and on a Greyhound, which is always an evil omen. We drove into the city past the towers of the oil wells which in those days burned off the natural gas in huge oily plumes of reddish-orange smoke that brought Tolkein’s description of Mordor to mind, past the dog food factory, and then the coffin factory. Then we entered the slums. After several gloomy blocks of broken windows, misspelled graffiti, and shattered 100 year old brick tenaments, we suddenly encountered a huge brightly illustrated billboard advertising a wonderful new apartment building to be built….there.
The sign showed a happy and glowing white nuclear family smiling in joy at the image of the building . The billboard announced all the wonderful amenities to be included to which someone had added in black spray paint Got some big fucking rats too…

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 6, 2012, 7:57 am

Have a listen to this!


Comment from Oceania
Time: December 6, 2012, 7:57 am

I can do a better accent than that!

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 6, 2012, 8:00 am

Oh look – space invader Sweasel!

Oceania Strikes Again!

Comment from Tibby
Time: December 6, 2012, 4:18 pm

I have decided that from now until After New Years Politics. Don’t. Matter. I can’t do anything except fume right now anyway. So suck it pols! I’m ignoring you! Merry Christmas to all –
Stoaty – enjoy your down time I for one will not bleed away.

Comment from Davem123
Time: December 6, 2012, 5:21 pm

RIP Dave Brubeck


Gone the day before his 92nd birthday. I’m glad no dick was awarded relative to his passing.

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: December 6, 2012, 6:22 pm

But Oscar Niemeyer did have the foresight to move on…


Comment from orabidoo
Time: December 6, 2012, 8:07 pm

Did not he design the alluring Niemeyer Wiener Mobile? Sometimes a flaccid wiener is just a flaccid wiener, is all.

Comment from JeffS
Time: December 6, 2012, 8:21 pm

“Posting will be light until Weasel sobers up a little.”

This reminds me of a story. How it applies to this post is left as an exercise for the reader …….

Back in the days of old (say, the 1950’s or so), a freighter is plying the ocean between her various ports of call. Her first mate, a dedicated officer, does not get along with the captain, who is also a good sailor, but very much a martinet.

One day, out of frustration over his dealings with the captain, the first mate gets drunk. He’s off duty, and it doesn’t interfere with his duties. Nor is it against regulations, although not very discretionary. For, you see, the captain dutifully makes an entry in the ship’s log, “Today, the first mate was drunk.”

The first mate protests. He has done nothing wrong, it’s only time that he has ever gotten drunk on a cruise, but such an entry will surely impact his future jobs, not to mention his career.

No matter, declares the captain. The fact remains that the first mate was indeed drunk, so the log entry is true, and hence will remain.

A few days later, after considering the matter, the first mate makes an entry in the ship’s log while on duty as the captain slept:

“Today, the captain was sober.”

Comment from mojo
Time: December 6, 2012, 9:15 pm

I used to work summers riding shotgun on a grain truck up to the port of Minneapolis. Didn’t have a shotgun, though – had a .22 pistol, which I put to use when we pulled up in line for unloading. Rats the size of Pekinese dogs would swarm the trucks, and one had to be a good, quick shot to keep them at bay.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: December 6, 2012, 10:27 pm

Take care of yourself, Stoaty, you can’t have too many mustileds.

Comment from Oceania
Time: December 7, 2012, 12:15 pm

Another classic of ‘not I’!
Comment from Oceania
Time: December 6, 2012, 1:19 am

Poke it with the Geiger counter.
If you can’t get a readout, it must have reacted to the virus I designed in my black submersible dirigible trimaran.

Cough ‘readout’ is another word in the Vocab of the sloppy American mind. Virus? I know people who can design you a nice virus … based upon a nice pulmonary haemorrhagic event.
The first tests on lung tissues in vitro were a disaster, it went up the PC3 hood and infect a passing person in the town in which the lab was set up in.
The person became sick, and went to their GP where they promptly infected 4 others. All 5 died terribly. Mrs X was sitting on her couch watching TV one night and then started squirting blood everywhere by the Gallon. Imperial Gallon, not US.
Then the idiot pathologist decided to send a sample to the CDC/USAMRIID. The effort to intercept that sample and replace it with a dud preparative was some effort indeed!
The lab closed shortly after and the facility was moved to the North Island at a super secret location.

You can read about it here: http://rense.com/general40/4th.htm
Most articles have been deleted from websites.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny