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Happy St Weaseltine’s, y’all

Old hands will remember this is sweasel.com’s blogaversary. The 15th, in fact. It started out as a blog about the process of immigrating to the UK and afterwards – I’ll be perfectly honest with you – I didn’t know how to stop.

Thanks for commenting, lurking, paddling in the Dead Pool – I was going to say trolling, but we haven’t had a good troll in years – hanging out and generally making this place a bright spot in a weasel’s life.

p.s. Oh, yes – Uncle B and I have been married thirteen years today, too.

February 14, 2022 — 6:37 pm
Comments: 30

Hey, guyz, I’m a meme. I think.

I did a Google images search of “ghost weasel” and it took me to this page of memes. For the record, I don’t really ‘get’ any of them.

Then I had squinted at the base image and I thought, “waaaait a second. Black and white image. Photoshop of a weasel. English channel. Using my caption font. That’s got to be my image!

Only, I can’t find it. I’ve looked at all December posts back to the beginning of the blog in 2007. I’ve looked back through about 50 pages of my blog media gallery, which is 4,494 pics over 225 pages. Tineye couldn’t find it (which is weird, if it really has been used as a meme image).

Assuming the compression is in the original, I suspect it’s an image from the first year of the blog, when it was hosted on WordPress. I was very, very careful to keep file sizes down in the beginning. They didn’t keep any of my images when I stopped paying.

Whatevs. Just a bit of fun.

Oh, why was I searching for Ghost Weasel? Sussex has been ranked as one of the best places in the UK to experience paranormal activity. Not me, though. I live in a 500 year old house and I’m still as psychic as a potato.

October 13, 2021 — 8:54 pm
Comments: 9

The Return of Spoon

I hauled myself out at six this morning, no Spoon. I had plenty to do in the garden (it’s a mess after six months of daily rain) so I hung out and pottered around and about 8:30, a blackberry bramble in the drive began to softly “bok?…bok? Bok?…bok?”

You’ll have to take my word for the question marks. She sounded puzzled. And, honestly, who among us has NOT woken up in a hedge mid-morning with no idea how she got there?

She was about six feet up a bramble, in a kind of hole. I had to get my gloves to lift her out or I would have been torn to bits.

She was safe enough up there. The polands generally go way high and are protected for the night. The danger is next morning, when they flap down to ground level. If there isn’t a human around to stink up the place and keep the foxes at bay, there’s a real risk.

Tonight, all my chickens are right where they should be. Perhaps I can get a decent night’s sleep and a bit of a late morning, for once. Have a good weekend, everyone! (As if weekends held any meaning).

March 27, 2020 — 7:19 pm
Comments: 13

To meditate upon

I’ve said it before; there really needs to be a name for the thing where you set off on the internet looking for a buttermilk biscuit recipe and hours later fetch up on a nine-year-old post from someone’s personal blog about the contents of a lunatic’s stomach.

Yes, that shiny, happy mandala up there is that. Stuff surgically removed from one man’s stomach. There’s an inventory and more (in color!) at the link, but it’s not very well preserved and the objects look like they’re sweating evil. I don’t necessarily recommend the click.

He died on the table.

November 4, 2019 — 9:24 pm
Comments: 13

here’s another one

I swear to you, Uncle B invented this currency twenty years ago in a late-night ramble. He said what if there was a kind of point system — let’s call them nergs — that were worth a few pennies at most, and wherever you went on the internet, you could plunk down a few nergs on any content you liked. It wouldn’t cost you much, it wouldn’t give the creator much — except in the aggregate, if lots of people liked his content.

That’s what the Basic Attention Token is. It was invented in parallel to the Brave browser, but you can buy BAT independently.

I’ve started using Brave, both on my phone and my desktop(s). I like it a lot as a browser. And if you turn on the feature, it will reward you BAT for interacting with ads. Then you can poke the little BAT triangle symbol in the upper right corner and give a website a tip. Any website that is registered to receive BAT, that is.

No, this website is not registered to receive BAT. You cannot give me a nerg. Do not try.

I don’t think they’ve implemented the bit where you can straight convert BAT to dollars, but they promise it’s coming. I think you can convert BAT to some other cryptocurrency and thence to dollars. It blows me away, though, that they’ve given me BAT worth about $10 for doing nothing but looking at inoffensive ads. And then I can go I like the cut of your jib and make it rain nergs.

This one isn’t an investment, it’s a toy.

July 9, 2019 — 9:06 pm
Comments: 12

I’m back!

Internet came back in fits and starts last night, and then the blue light finally steadied. By that time, I had used 922 of the 1024 megabyte data allowance on my phone. Whew! That was close!

I know it’s a very tired observation, but I don’t believe how hard it was to go without internet just for two days. I mean, I was reading a book and I’d think, “must look up that word” or “I wonder if I can order some of that thing that online?” It was honestly like losing one of my senses.

But now I’m back! Looking up words I really ought to know already! Ordering stupid junk from Ebay! Meme-ing and shit-posting!

Feels good, man.

July 3, 2019 — 8:44 pm
Comments: 15

Lightning strike! Lightning strike!

We’ve been without internet most of the day. We had a hellatious lightning storm last night. Those two things may or may not be related.

The storm was over before dawn and the internet went down mid-morning, but it’s hard not to think they’re related.


Without internet.

Most of the day.

I don’t ever, ever, ever want to go through that again.

I read a book.


June 19, 2019 — 9:20 pm
Comments: 12


TUESDAY EDIT. I’m going to leave this up this week while I ruminate. Also, lazy.

WEDNESDAY EDIT. It feels weird, not squeezing out a post every night. I feel like I haven’t brushed my teeth or something. How about guest posts? Any of you have something you’ve always wanted to tell the internet? I don’t have a big reach, but if you’ve been holding in some burning truths about stamp collecting or dressage, I’m willing to entertain the idea.

THURSDAY EDIT. The internet was quiet. Too quiet.

FRIDAY EDIT. Thanks for the input, y’all. I will probably publish my half-assed instance and whip it into shape in realtime. Because I just can’t get enough of my own incompetence. I won’t be deleting anything, just de-internetting it for now. We’ll see. Did I mention lazy? Good weekend!

Request for comments, that is. I went poking through my old content over the weekend. Twelve years and 3,500 posts and I don’t know how to begin to sanitize it of possible copyright infringements.

I don’t even know how to decide what’s infringing. Wildlife photographers and freelancers whose work gets picked up by the media are touchy as hell about their content, I know that. Fair enough; they get ripped off all the time and they’ve been sore about it for years.

But what about news images in wide circulation? Memes? How much do I have to change somebody else’s image to make it transformative? It would take forever to go back through, if I even knew what to wipe.

What I’m thinking is, I’ll start a new instance of WordPress in a new directory, switch over and just retire the old content entirely. My stuff has gotten pretty repetitious anyway, as I’ve exhausted the novelty of being in England.

But I think it would break my heart to shutter the blog completely, at least right away. I’d miss you guys; I really would. I’m sure viewership and participation will fall off a cliff if I switch to irregular vague-blogging, but I’m open to suggestions.

I surely can’t hang a whole blog off a Dead Pool, can I?

June 10, 2019 — 9:11 pm
Comments: 45

Disappearing the stupid

I’m thinking I will pull some images and insert this (or one like it) in their place. Prophylactically, you unnerstand.

And I may pull some old posts entirely while I’m at it. I’ve said some mighty dumb stuff in the last 15 years. Ordinarily, I would say I have a duty to live with all the dumb stuff I’ve ever said hung ’round my neck, but as long as I’m revisiting everything…I don’t think I can resist the temptation.

I’ll back it all up first. And the Wayback Machine will have most of it. They’ve taken a snapshot of this site 380 times so far. I don’t know if that’s just the top page or everything, but it hardly matters. The internet never forgets.

Well, seldom forgets. Uncle B and I have been internetting long enough that our earliest interactions appear to have fallen off a cliff, but I’m guessing there’s some geek somewhere with a punched tape backup of the entirety of USENET 1987.

Anyway, I figured I’d let you guys know. You have a stake, after all, as commenters.

Ah, don’t worry. It’ll turn out I’m way too lazy to revisit 3,431 posts. Have a good weekend!

June 7, 2019 — 9:03 pm
Comments: 6


Uncle B and me at the car wash today. Car was covered in bird poop. This is a very birdy place.

I got a sort of extortion email at work today. Five years ago on our website, we used a thumbnail-sized photo on a blogpost and…turns out some durned fool grabbed it from a stock photography site. The email was from an agent representing the stockhouse. It demanded £100.

I have a feeling I know how this works. They probably have some kind of bot that catalogues the client’s portfolio and then goes looking for images from it on the web. Running the company name through the internet, quite a few people on forums are calling it a scam. But from what I know of copyright law, it isn’t a scam, it’s just extremely ugly practice.

The thing about copyright law, there’s no statute of limitations. So we could ignore it and they probably would decide it isn’t worth pursuing in the courts, but it would always be hanging out there. And the fact we ignored it would count very much against us and we might owe their legal fees and stuff.

I’m getting legal advice. The question is, are there other problematic pictures from the wayback?


Most of them are mine, but I’ve gotten lazy and pinched images from the online. I’m thinking of going back and removing any picture I think might potentially be a problem. There are only….3,430 posts on the site.

Good weekend, y’all!

June 6, 2019 — 9:07 pm
Comments: 10