web analytics

Daddy in his skivvies

This artwork isn’t mine, I just weaseled it up a little. It’s an old advertising gimmick from a German lingerie maker. You don’t want to know what I was searching for when this turned up.

But I don’t want to talk about George Washington’s underpants, I want to talk about his false teeth. For I have seen them with mine own eyes, before they were stolen out of the Smithsonian in 1976. Thought you’d like to know that.

Actually, he had several pairs (and none of them made of wood). He had trouble with his teeth all his life. By inauguration day, the Father of our Country had one natural tooth left in his head (and when that went, he gave it to the dentist who had made his best pair of store-bought teeth)(whose name was Greenwood, so maybe that’s how ‘wood’ got associated with the august gentleman’s gnashers).

By the time Gilbert Stuart painted the famous portrait, Washington’s dentures were a source of constant misery. By some accounts, that’s why his mouth is swollen. But I’ve also read that they were so godawful painful, he took them out and stuffed his mouth with cotton balls, and that’s why his mouth is swollen.

But I have also read that Stuart and Washington detested each other on sight and the former wasn’t all that worried about making the latter look good. The original was deliberately left unfinished so that thousands and thousands of unflattering copies could be made and spread across the land.

Poor old George Washington. He was a heartthrob in his day.

p.s. I added the hearts.


Comment from thefritz
Time: February 10, 2014, 10:22 pm

I’ve seen the set that is displayed at the museum in Mt. Vernon. Not a pleasant looking apparatus. A visit to Mt. Vernon is a must for any Patriot. Every time I go I learn something new about our first president. He was truly an extraordinary human. Some of the facts you learn there (which you never see in text books)convince me that the hand of God protected and guided him throughout his life. And I bet he’d wear those silky boxers if Martha had given them to him for Valentine’s day…

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 10, 2014, 10:30 pm

George Washington starred in the first movie about a cyborg from the future who tries to kill Sarah Connor.

Comment from crank
Time: February 11, 2014, 12:14 pm

Shirley Temple died.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: February 11, 2014, 2:02 pm

Confirmation on Shirley Temple; aka, Shirley Temple Black – died at approx. 11:00 P.M. last night at her home in California, aged 85.

Sad…guess maybe they finally needed a little song-and-dance star Someplace Else…

Comment from Brother Cavil, straight outta New Cap City
Time: February 11, 2014, 2:34 pm

Yikes. Last few Dead Pools have been…abbreviated.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 11, 2014, 3:26 pm

Not this one, Brother Cavil. Nobody had her this round.

Comment from Mojo
Time: February 11, 2014, 7:06 pm

WHICH Mt. Vernon? I’m confused.

And little Shirley has been reunited with old pal Stepinfetchit…

Comment from Deborah
Time: February 11, 2014, 9:10 pm

This will make you laugh—eventually.

Comment from thefritz
Time: February 11, 2014, 11:04 pm

Hey Mojo, I’m not aware of any other Mt. Vernon that housed our 1st prez other than the one in Virginia 17 miles south of DC.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: February 12, 2014, 4:58 pm

Deborah, you get an “A”, for “A”-musing…as does Tyler, the perpetrator of the “makeover”.

Ol’ George never looked better – at least not since he caught a cold and died!

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny