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Any tips, you miserable cheerful bastards?

I’m not a morning person. Mostly, I’m a sulky, sullen sort of person first thing, though I’m occasionally a if you clink that spoon against that cup one more time I’ll rip your goddam head off kind of gal. Usually, it’s not an issue — nobody sees me for an hour at least, by which time I’ve pulled myself together into the adorable friendly creature you all know and love.

Well, Uncle B sees me early, but he tiptoes real good.

Here’s the thing: I’ve got to be at work an hour early tomorrow, with my boss, to learn from a very expensive engineer how to do something complicated on the computer. Worse: our clocks changed Sunday, so I’m an hour behind as it is. So that’s two hours sleep deficit already.

I’ve got a choice between getting up three hours earlier, but having my usual hour to get a grip on myself, or getting up two hours earlier but inflicting myself on the world rabies and all. Also, I’ll be real stupid.

Yes, yes…I’m going to bed early tonight. Any other ideas that don’t involve getting hopped up on goofballs? How *do* you cheerful bastards do it?

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: March 30, 2015, 10:12 pm

In general, when confronted with the (alleged) necessity for such early-arising horror, I’ve found the only useful remedy to be: 1) Speak – or otherwise-respond – to “external stimuli/communication(s)” as little as humanly possible, and 2) avoid direct eye-contact or any sort of direct confrontation with all entities (especially clock-faces or other timepieces, or animal/vegetable/mineral).

Go quietly about one’s absolutely-unavoidable activities, and diligently pursue a non-confrontational mode in all things…

After a few hours – all will be calm (if not actually “well”…)

Best of luck to you (and to that ‘spensive engineer – oh, and to your boss, as well); afraid you’re on your own on the exact-time-to-arise thingy.

Do let us all know how matters actually proceed.

 


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: March 30, 2015, 10:29 pm

Good luck with your session…not a morning person either.

 


Comment from LesterIII
Time: March 30, 2015, 11:17 pm

Many years ago, I was given the advice to start my day by consuming at *least* an 8oz glass of water in the first ten minutes upon waking. Since adopting this practice, I become fully awake faster, and my mood is much improved. I am a reformed 2 to 3 pots per day coffee-holic, and used to need an hour long period of concentrated ALONE TIME, or be venomous and foul-tempered to those around me. I now nurse a single 20oz mug from mid-morning through afternoon, never starting caffeine ’til an hour, usually more, after waking.

The water advice is some of the best I ever put into practice. ‘Primes the system’ as I was told. YMMV…

 


Comment from Armybrat
Time: March 30, 2015, 11:46 pm

I AM a morning person! But I’m usually in bed by 8. I am a sleepaholic. I get at least 10 hours a night and at least one weekend night will see me get 12 hours. I DON’T take kindly to having my sleep disturbed. My poor husband learned that very early on in our relationship. I am a “rip your head from it’s shoulders” kinda girl when my sleep is disrupted.

 


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: March 31, 2015, 12:00 am

Not at all a morning person. But I am an all night person, just don’t go to bed.

 


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: March 31, 2015, 12:00 am

Seems as though the difficulty is the approx. one hour period immediately after waking up. Simple solution: don’t go to sleep tonight. Go in to work, deal with the engineer, and go home early.

Either that or take an axe to work, murder them all, and then take a nap.

 


Comment from Jeff Gauch
Time: March 31, 2015, 12:08 am

I wake up wanting to set people on fire, but then again I go to sleep wanting to set people on fire, so maybe that makes me a morning person? Thanks to the Navy I’ve had plenty of practice waking up at unholy hours.

Keep the same routine. It will cost you an hour of sleep, but your routine will let the rest of your brain spool up as normal. You’re also going to need caffeine. Not just the normal amount, that’s your baseline. You need to add a cup or two to actually compensate for the lost sleep.

 


Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: March 31, 2015, 1:08 am

If your coffee can’t double as the river Styx, then you’re doing it wrong. My horns and tail won’t recede until I’ve sacrificed the blood of the coffee bean to my inner demons. I always have to get up an hour early in order to steel myself against the requirement to interact with the human species.

 


Comment from Deborah HH
Time: March 31, 2015, 1:47 am

On days when I have to toe the starting line early (metaphorically speaking), I ingest large amounts of protein and fat, modest amounts of carbs, and at least four cups of Caffeine. So: three eggs with cheese, buttered toast (but no honey/jelly), and coffee with milk and a little sugar. That will buy me at least five hours of quality work. And no mid-morning sweets either, or you will crash burn.

 


Comment from .
Time: March 31, 2015, 3:43 am

I launch a morning missile into resigned and extra patient wifosaurus and then all is well with the world.
She gets coffee and leftovers when I am already past the gates.

Not sure how the fimmel readership can relate if at all.

 


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 31, 2015, 4:11 am

The uncaffinated life is not worth contemplating.

 


Comment from Nina
Time: March 31, 2015, 6:48 am

I’m an early riser because my job requires me to be. I used to get up really early to run or hit the gym, but that stopped about 8 years ago now and I haven’t ever started back up. Nowadays, as I get older, I’m liking staying up later and getting up later, which I can do this week because it’s spring break and I’m off.

If I have to get up earlier than I like I just do it and drink Diet Coke. Hopefully what you’re doing is interesting enough to be worth the loss of sleep.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 31, 2015, 7:27 am

I’m up, I’M UP. Got to go in fifteen. Had one of them fatty yoghurts and a big glass of sweet tea. I should pass for human in a few minutes.

Thanks all.

 


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: March 31, 2015, 7:50 am

American Badgers are creatures of the night. We Lurk. We Pounce. We Devour.

 


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: March 31, 2015, 10:26 am

That is a cute illustration of a Sleepy Weasel, and her glass of Alka-Seltzer

 


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: March 31, 2015, 1:06 pm

“Wake up; get out of bed
Drag a comb across my head
Make my way downstairs and have cup
And looking up, I notice I am late…”

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 31, 2015, 2:55 pm

Must be a badger thing, cousin Scott. I’m an up all night kind of mustelid too.

Not grumpy in the mornings, though. I feel like death until the afternoon but rarely bite.

That comes later…

 


Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 31, 2015, 2:58 pm

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

 


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: March 31, 2015, 3:20 pm

Long ago, when pterodactyls soared above the earth and we only had 3 broadcast networks, I truly believed that if God had intended us to face mornings, He’d have arranged it so they occurred after 12 noon. I was a theatre major at the time, and all rehearsals were done in afternoon and evening, so I proclaimed I wasn’t a morning person. (Besides, I drank.)

Then I went to work: different shifts in radio, different shifts in driving a courier van, etc. Finally I settled into regular 8-5 employment. By that time I’d found that mornings were quiet and the roads were mostly clear, and the summer temps were lower. So yes, it’s possible for an evening person to become a morning one.

LesterIII, I may try the 8oz. of H20 method instead of coffee when I first get up.

 


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 31, 2015, 3:39 pm

Get drunk on cheap whiskey the night before, stay out till the bars close, stagger home in the snow. Four hours later, I’ll magically pop awake, & if I don’t have anything to eat I won’t throw up & can make it through the first few hours until lunch, & then make up some excuse about being in an airplane crash or something & skipping out on the rest of the day to put my head under the couch cushions & moan in agony.

 


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: March 31, 2015, 3:55 pm

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 31, 2015, 3:39 pm

Get drunk on cheap whiskey the night before, stay out till the bars close, stagger home in the snow. Four hours later, I’ll magically pop awake, & if I don’t have anything to eat I won’t throw up & can make it through the first few hours until lunch, & then make up some excuse about being in an airplane crash or something & skipping out on the rest of the day to put my head under the couch cushions & moan in agony.
*
*
And now you know why I stopped drinking.

 


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 31, 2015, 4:33 pm

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
–Frank Sinatra

 


Comment from mojo
Time: March 31, 2015, 5:29 pm

I loved swing shift. Get up at the crack of noon, work at 3, off at midnight to close the bars down.

 


Comment from Harry
Time: March 31, 2015, 6:08 pm

@Scott the Badger: “…a Sleepy Weasel, and her glass of Alka-Seltzer.”

Hmmm…it looked like a weak beer to me…

 


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: April 1, 2015, 5:16 am

Harry, as long as it lulls her to sleep…..

 

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