web analytics

Ook ook

Welp, there it is. My DNA results are just now dribbling in (it’ll be a few days before I have everything), but that’s the number I was waiting for. A bit below the European average of 2.7%, actually. Kind of disappointed. I’ve seen it reported as high as 3.5% in the genetic forums and I was hoping to be Neanderthal as hell.

Other than this, I only have my raw data. But that’s cool — you can take the raw data and upload it to tons of third party analyst programs — places like Nutrahacker, GEDmatch and Promethease — and they’ll sift it for all sorts of shit.

A lot of the results are very weak correlations (a 1.2-fold increase in the likelihood of somethingorother) and very preliminary connections, but they’re updating what they know all the time, so your results are fluid. It’s exciting.

They absolutely nailed the things I already know — eye color, hair color, skin color, high blood pressure, psoriasis. Male pattern baldness (sorry, bro). Many of the things I worried about don’t look as bad as I feared.

More ancestry analysis comes next. I’ll keep you posted.


Comment from Anonymous
Time: March 31, 2015, 9:57 pm

So is THIS group more “Neanderthal”:

Or are they an AA special, like so many of their ilk in West Pondia?

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 31, 2015, 10:09 pm

Mercury trine Saturn in the third house.

Badgers is sceptics…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: March 31, 2015, 10:18 pm

Um, by which I mean… I don’t doubt the numbers, just that I have grave misgivings about our ability to interpret them yet.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: March 31, 2015, 10:39 pm

I’m 48.30442% Piltdown, by volume.

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: April 1, 2015, 12:13 am

I’m a Cylon :+)

Comment from mojo
Time: April 1, 2015, 2:34 am

No Vikings? That seems unlikely somehow.

Comment from mojo
Time: April 1, 2015, 2:37 am

Badger: a code 3 billion bits long, in quadrature? What could possibly go wrong?

I is tres sceptical too.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 1, 2015, 3:02 am

This is the problem with religion – somebody gets a glimpse of a recognizable great truth, and everyone is amazed at his enlightenment. The problem is that very very few of those who obtain such bits of knowledge have the wisdom and courage to admit that this tiny bit of truth is all they have learned. No, most of them go on to build whole systems around this kernel, and the farther away from the original revealed filament the more likely to be bullshit it becomes. Still, there’s fame and money to be had from the process, so who can blame them? Besides it may be that if we can winnow out those small truths from any given religion and combine them with the small truths that other religions have found they will add up to something great.

Sadly, the religions of our day all call themselves “Science”. These genetic scientists have the ability to recognize and match up bits of code, but they want to believe they are finding acrostics hidden in the strings. Maybe they are finding some. Still, always remember that even Scientists don’t always know what they think they know. For more than 50 years it was settled science that humans have 48 Chromosomes. Then someone finally recounted them and had the courage to point out that there are really only 46. http://www.nature.com/scitable/content/The-chromosome-number-in-humans-a-brief-15575

TL/DR: This is still a new area of science and we should take their predictions with a grain of salt.

Comment from catnip
Time: April 1, 2015, 3:37 am

Durned wet blankets. I think that’s great, Swease. You’re in the 77th percentile of reported results–not low at all, really.

Couples should do this, if they plan to have children. For some, it would save them a lot of heartbreak.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: April 1, 2015, 3:54 am

“I was hoping to be Neanderthal as hell.”

What, so you’d have an excuse? 🙂

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 1, 2015, 12:22 pm

I had a 50/50 chance of inheriting a nasty disease from my mom. The test shows that I didn’t. Binary. Yes, no. Marker not there. Weasel not got it. Settled science.

You skeptical doody-heads can smooch posterior.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 1, 2015, 1:54 pm

Spoken like a true Neanderthal!

Comment from mojo
Time: April 1, 2015, 4:25 pm


(that’s my Jack Benny impersonation, by the way.)

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 1, 2015, 4:43 pm


Comment from Deborah HH
Time: April 1, 2015, 6:41 pm

Stoaty—I’m glad to know you dodged a bullet.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 1, 2015, 7:53 pm

I’ve been looking over my shoulder for it for a lot of years. It basically would’ve meant spending my end-of-life years hooked up to dialysis.

Comment from drew458
Time: April 1, 2015, 8:34 pm

Who knew Neanderthals lived so recently? 2.6%?

1 you 100%
2 parents 50%
4 gp 25%
8 ggp 12.5%
16 gggp 6.25%
32 ggggp 3.125%
64 gggggp 1.5625%
128 ggggggp 0.753125%

So 2.6% means one of your great-great-great-grandparents was 75% Neanderthal. On the English side, no doubt.

Comment from Nina
Time: April 1, 2015, 9:31 pm

I need to do this!

Comment from mojo
Time: April 2, 2015, 3:06 pm

Weas: female-linked recessive, kidneys?

(I had a friend)

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 2, 2015, 5:34 pm

Autosomal Dominant Polycystic Kidney Disease. But, dammit, I’ve just realized it was Autosomal Recessive Polycystic Kidney Disease that got ruled out entirely (in the recessive one, you need two copies of the gene). Now, I’m having to manually comb through SNPs to see if there’s evidence of the dominant type.

Boo. Mellow harshed.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 2, 2015, 5:40 pm

Well, I have five good SNPs for PKD and four neutral. I don’t know if that’s a definitive “I don’t have it” — I’ll have to ask around — but it’s a cheery sign.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny