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Let me just make a note of that


I promise you, I do not read, follow or subscribe to The Daily Undertaker. It’s just, I cannot find a more respectable website for this story: artist Nadine Jarvis, who makes stuff out of dead people. Bird houses, stuff like that.

Not unusual. Lots of people are making stuff with cremains. Vinyl records, cubic zirconia. We live in an age of wonders.

But Nadine’s special trick is, she makes pencils out of dead people. The graphite part in the middle, anyway. Each inscribed with your name and dates in gold, with an attractive wooden box.

My favorite thing, while I was banging around looking for a good website for this — several bloggers remarked on how many pencils you get. Something like 250. And how that made it easier to use them and not be precious about them. I’d imagine that would go something like this:

Person: “Oh my god! You had your mother’s remains made into pencils???”
Other person: “But there are so many of them!”

I don’t know if it’s a real production thing she’s actually doing, or just an arty one-off. She’s clearly lost control of nadinejarvis.com, which goes to a general directory of funeral goods. Plenty of people buzzing about it, though, so…art accomplished, I guess.



Comment from bds
Time: April 4, 2017, 9:39 pm

I like a lot of what they call art these days, but upwards of 95% of it just seems to be “hey, look at me, I made a cool thing.”

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: April 4, 2017, 10:52 pm

Uhhhhh….. wut?
It was the “Robert Louis Stevenson buried in Samoa” comment from yesterday, wasn’t it?

Comment from Niña
Time: April 4, 2017, 11:19 pm

I just told my daughter to not do this to me. She promised.

Comment from RimrockR
Time: April 4, 2017, 11:42 pm

I would rather be fashioned into a Sharpie to be a bit more permanent.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: April 5, 2017, 12:13 am

For a long time I wanted to be cremated. But in the past eight months I have been researching my genealogy, and I definitely want a casket and a headstone. I want my descendants to know where Grandmother Deborah is buried.

Comment from Bob B
Time: April 5, 2017, 1:18 am

I remember years ago hearing that some widow had a tantrum and threw her husband’s ashes in the fireplace while it was burning. Later, she pushed what was left out the fireplace cleanout and disposed of them. AND THEN SHE TOLD EVERYONE.
There was a very big to-do about that. Something about human remains.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: April 5, 2017, 1:32 am

Remember how in the old movies they would touch the lead of a pencil to their tongue before putting it to paper and writing? You couldnt do it with a Cremains #2.

Comment from Janna
Time: April 5, 2017, 5:27 am

Hang on, broke the lead, need to sharpen Grandpa.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 5, 2017, 5:35 am

Goodbye!!! I’ll be sure to write [with] you!

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: April 5, 2017, 12:31 pm

You’re in luck: the euro millions lottery rolled over to $76.8 million bucks for Friday.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: April 5, 2017, 4:51 pm


Hang on, broke the lead, need to sharpen Grandpa.

It seems hardly worth the effort.
Anything Grandpa ever said was pretty pointless.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: April 5, 2017, 6:11 pm

@Janna & Uncle Al (awesome pun btw…)
“Grandpa was sharp, till I wore him down drawing these pron anime pictures.”
“Hey! Let’s play tic-tac-toe with gramma and grampa!”
“Young man! Are you sharpening your great-grand-dad with my good kitchen knife?!”

I plan on being cremated.
Pencils? Geeze, a little dignity please, I want a viking longship funeral!

and…. how do they know which parts are YOU, and which parts are the cardboard box or coffin they stuck you in?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: April 5, 2017, 7:23 pm


…how do they know which parts are YOU, and which parts are the cardboard box or coffin they stuck you in?

That’s the Miracle of Transtubstantiation, my son.

Comment from LesterIII
Time: April 6, 2017, 11:11 am

I swear there is a “lead in his pencil” joke there, somewhere.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: April 6, 2017, 3:53 pm

@Uncle Al
Sure, on the last day there I’ll be, resurrected with half a foot of coffin attached to my back, I just know it.

“Oh, we’re sorry, hard to sort it all out. Happens now and again you see. Talk to St.Joseph over there. Used to be a carpenter, he’ll fix ya right up.”

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