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So eager to please!


I have intensely vivid dreams, sometimes. I did last night. I won’t bore you with them.

My mother, she insisted on telling me her dreams in great detail in the mornings. Oh, this was grim. When I tried to cut her off, she’d say, “no, no — here’s where it gets interesting!”

It never did. Other people’s dreams never do.

I have a theory about dreams. I think your brain rehearses all sorts of arbitrary imagery and rehearses arbitrary emotions simultaneously. So you get random scenarios jammed up with with random (sometimes profound) feelings.

The shovel that makes you feel guilty. The fish that frightens you. We won’t even touch inappropriately lusty dreams. These can feel hugely meaningful, and aren’t. That’s my theory, anyway. Ahem.


Anyway, at the dramatic conclusion of my final dream, I turned to my boss (an actual boss from many years ago) and shouted, “you have the aesthetic sensibilities of a sea monkey!” Which I think is rather good. “Brine shrimp” would probably be better, but hey. I was unconscious.

A friend of mine got taken in by that Sea Monkey ad. A very, very stupid friend. He must have got the temperature wrong or something, because all he got was a sad plastic castle full of smelly water. If you’ve ever wondered, here’s what healthy brine shrimp look like at five weeks old.


Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 8, 2018, 1:13 am

“We won’t even touch inappropriately lusty dreams.”

Like the early morning when I was canoodling with Randy Travis in the back seat of a red Cadillac convertible? And Husband had the nerve to wake me up to cook.his.breakfast. The great irony is that I know precisely ONE Randy Travis song—the same one everyone knows.

*red Cadillac convertible. How cliché is that?

Comment from thefritz
Time: February 8, 2018, 1:37 am

I ordered my Sea Monkeys from an ad in the back of ‘Grit’ magazine in 1967. I spent valuable bottle return money for those fucking brine shrimp that never did shit when I added water. Insult to injury…3 weeks later I got a letter from ‘Grit’ asking me if I wanted to sell the magazine door-to-door in my community. Bastards….

Comment from Armybrat
Time: February 8, 2018, 1:59 am

When my asthma gets out of hand I wind up taking prednisone. If you think you have vivid dreams now, take some prednisone. I swear I can taste colors when I’m on that shit.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: February 8, 2018, 2:30 am


I too ordered sea monkeys about the same time.
I named them…
There was
Jim, Andrew, Rod, Robert, Eric, Barack, Valerie, Lois, Hillary, Donna, Nancy, Chuck and they all grew up and did wonderful things!

Well no, not really, but since Sweasy was talking bout dreams.
I have to admit though the similarities between the named individuals and brine shrimp are amazing.

Actually as I recall I was very disappointed with the end result.
Sorta like now.

Comment from Pupster
Time: February 8, 2018, 2:39 am

Dreams are brain-farts.

The first time I tried to quit smoking I used Chantix, i had extremely vivid psychotic bloody dreams, like question your sanity in the morning type dreams. I stopped taking it and they stopped, still smoking.

The sleep aid melatonin gives me vivid but mostly happy dreams.

The only comic book ad I ever fell for was the one for the 6 foot tall floating ghost that followed you around, turned out to be a white balloon, a sheet of white plastic and a piece of fishing line.

I know, right?

Comment from Pupster
Time: February 8, 2018, 2:46 am

Bottom left corner:


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: February 8, 2018, 2:38 pm

I’ve been trying to use elements from my dreams in short stories. More than once the technique has worked out well. But usually I come floundering up from whatever world my sleeping mind has conjured and forget whatever great insight I had before I get to my coffeemaker.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 8, 2018, 4:19 pm

My take on dreams is that they are the result of your brain sweeping out the trash left behind from things you’ve thought about over a day but didn’t actually file into memory – your brain just looks a each bit of that trash before discarding all of it and the result is like splicing all the bits of film found on the floor of a news-reel film editing room together into a short film. The more coherent the dream, the more you were thinking of that one subject, subconsciously, of course …. Oh! Hi Deborah! 😉

I have only been able to capture one dream and turn it into anything. I remember that a classic looking devil was standing beside a fireplace and smoking a pipe; he was speaking in rhyme and being quite witty I thought.
I suddenly awakened and tried to write down what I could remember. In the morning the outline was clear enough that I spent a cold winter trying to turn into a rhyming story. It turned out being quite long had a lot of fun with it. Sadly I never really managed to capture the Devil’s wit though.

I still have the whole thing somewhere but only a few bits are still in my head.

Now doubt is a damn’d addictive spice
If you’ve tasted it once, you taste it twice
Soon you’ll sprinkle it on every word you hear
Coming from your lover’s lips toward your ear.
And the addiction never never stops
Oh no! You’ll lick up every drop
You’ll swallow a thousand tiny bitter pills
Even though you know they kill

Now man once fought the mastodon
Though it’s many millennia dead and gone
And there’s the giant crocodile
Monster king of Egypt’s Nile
And there are lions and tigers and jaguars
In various jungles near and far
But of all the creatures in the night
Of all the things that give us fright
Of all the things that scratch and claw
The most dangerous, dangerous! of them all
Is an angry woman, just five feet tall…

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: February 8, 2018, 4:45 pm

Here’s some new inks for you:https://colorverseink.com/product/list2.html?cate_no=58

Not sure how the two bottle ones work. I do like the
SCHRÖDINGER & CAT. Nice green… Some of the small paired bottles have glitter.

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: February 9, 2018, 3:28 am

@Some Vegetable. You nailed it. I’ve been lusting for a red Cadillac convertible since 1966.

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