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But this one’s for reals

a tale of two hockey sticks

Click the graph for explanation. Not a deep thought — it hurts too much when I laugh — I was just farting around online, saw this and thought, “hey…that looks familiar!”

Comments


Comment from apotheosis
Time: September 24, 2008, 1:07 pm

#import wzl.h


Comment from apotheosis
Time: September 24, 2008, 1:22 pm

cool.

* Your score: 14
* Gender: Male
* Age range: 30-39
* Best score for your gender and age range: 0
* Highest score for your gender and age range: 1464

Apparently I discriminate between colors pretty well.

I expect that means the P.C. police will arrive shortly, so light a candle for me. :(


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 1:26 pm

You did better’n me. But, as you can tell by my blog, color is not really my thing.


Comment from Lemur King
Time: September 24, 2008, 4:15 pm

* Your score: 11
* Gender: Male
* Age range: 40-49
* Best score for your gender and age range: 0
* Highest score for your gender and age range: 1462

Huh. That’s some pretty cool stuff.

Are your eyes supposed to bleed afterward?


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:13 pm

OM freaking G!!! Did you folks get the latest quote form Alcee Hastings? “Anyone who hunts moose “don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks””!!!

Have you ever heard anything so damn ignorant from an “Elected Official”? Does this guy’s family tree have ANY branches?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:17 pm

Oh, yeah, SF. And check out the picture that goes with: Hillary back there all smiling and clapping.

Talk about the soft bigotry of low expectations! You can hear her thinking, “well, these people are just like that. No sense making a fuss!”

Check out the comments on the thread, too. Sheesh!


Comment from apotheosis
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:24 pm

Mr. Hastings has courageously tapped into the jugular of the global Bullwinkle/Sammy Davis Jr. conspiracy.


Comment from Allen
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:36 pm

Do y’all think these people have always been this mooseshit crazy all along? Or, is it a recent thing? What’s really scary is that if they have always been this crazy; they’ve been in charge of important stuff for years. That spooks me.

It’s got to the point that I don’t care about their politics anymore just that they be actually sane. I know we have some serious moon units on our side, but it looks like the Burros have a whole lot more of ‘em.


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:36 pm

Stoatie, that is what happens when too many moms and dads in the family were also cousins and siblings….. BLEH!!!

[img]http://thecornfieldonline.com/Smileys/corn/puketi7.gif[/img]


Comment from Allen
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:43 pm

Here you go Weasel, you can ride the Classic Skegness Seaside Donkeys when you get over there.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:46 pm

Heh heh. Weasel rationing. See? I have to wait until I’m home to YouTube. Did you see Shave My Weasel in the same batch? Not exactly BADGERBADGERBADGER or Bananaphone, but in the same genre.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 5:52 pm

You know, Allen, I’m beginning to wonder. I’ve been around the ‘net a long time, so I know there’s LOTS of stupid out there. Lots and lots…and the easier it is to get online, the more stupid there will be.

But I’m beginning to wonder how much of that stuff is astroturfing. The really big sites — CNN and the like — the comments are light-bendingly stupid. But they always reflect the current lefty talking points perfectly. How can so many people be borderline illiterate, but RIGHT ON TOP of the day’s Democratic message?

Okay, okay…I’m not much of a one for conspiracy theories. But we know some percentage of them aren’t for reals. And the pattern of misspellings and punctuation errors strike me as…exactly the way smartass city people think the plebes communicate with each other.


Comment from Allen
Time: September 24, 2008, 6:39 pm

Maybe some of it is coordinated, who knows for sure. I suspect a lot of it is ego. They believe themselves to be smart and hip, and when they see something that’s the next hot message they dive on it like a seagull on a hunk of bread.

Foul birds they are. Flying rats. Hey, instead of calling it astroturfing maybe we should call it seagulling. They’re always squawking, flying around in packs, and shitting all over the place. Fits ‘em to a tee.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 24, 2008, 6:41 pm

If the UK sites are any guide, quite a lot of commentary is astroturfing. Certainly, the BBC stuffs its vox pops and phone-ins to represent the Lefty POV and though the blogs over here aren’t as influential as yours, there is plenty of evidence that the party toerags not only read them but try to manipulate them, too.

Oh no! A badger doing politics!


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 6:56 pm

I don’t know about coordinated so much as just professionals taking an interest and pretending to be something else.

Like, Uncle B — remember that guy on the BBC boards we argued with years ago, and you Googled his name? He turned out to be some leftist professor at a public college. So, arguing politics on the internet on the taxpayer dime, basically.

Those boards were shit, too. I finally couldn’t take them any more.


Comment from Sigivald
Time: September 24, 2008, 7:48 pm

Aren’t these supposed to be comments for the “hockey stick graph” post, not the Obama Commemorative Coin post? (I think so, and that suggests maybe more separation between comments and next post would help?)

If the Dow chart was generated from un-published data using an algorithm that made random noise look like a hockey stick, it’d be a lot more like the Global Warming graph.

Now, assuming the Dow has too much relation to capitalism as such might be a different mistake…


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 24, 2008, 8:13 pm

What really gets me about the Alcee Hastings remark is that it doesn’t make any fucking sense. Seriously, wtf? Is he a vegan?


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 8:13 pm

These comments grew out of the Alcee Hastings link in the thread, I think. As long as people are talking to me, I don’t much care where the threads go. Fly away! Be free, little comment thread!

Interestingly, I discovered the Yahoo! stock market graph (where I pinched this) is logarithmic. It’s squeezed at the top and bottom — which does make sense, but this is an absolute linear graph.


Comment from Allen
Time: September 24, 2008, 8:31 pm

Oooo, wait a minute, are we supposed to stay on topic? I thought this was the ADD Retard Short Bus to Hell Site.

Minions on Trampolines: (bounce) (bounce)


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 8:44 pm

Damn right! I told you I had an official diagnosis of ADD, right? I didn’t know that until recently. I had a childhood diagnosis of “minimal cerebral dysfunction” which I thought meant “something is wrong, but we’re fucked if we know what.” But my friend the neurological nurse told me it was the original term for ADD.

I probably told you that already, but hey! I have ADD.


Comment from Allen
Time: September 24, 2008, 9:19 pm

That reminded me of something funny Weasel. Years ago my sister was a surgical nurse in a major neurological hospital. She used to wear a funny T-shirt.

“We do good head…”

Ooofff, I think it might be genetic.


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 24, 2008, 9:29 pm

In other news, my dog is a really needy bitch. She spends all evening coming to me and whining and barking (yes I took her for a walk, yes I fed her, yes she’s been out again since then). I have no idea what she wants; if I take her out, she just runs around the yard.

Maybe I should just get a pet snake instead.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 9:35 pm

That’s dogs for you.

Whereas my cat is a needy ice princess. Meow, meow. I go into the kitchen; backdoor is to the left, food bowl is to the right. What do you want, Princess? Meow, meow. Poised exactly between the two.

She sweet, but she’s stupid, this one.


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 24, 2008, 9:49 pm

Cats make me sneeze, but they also make me laugh. Especially when they chase lasers. That never gets old.

I can always send the dog back to my parents, but the house really did turn out to be too quiet when it was just me. I had hoped to add a husband, but that didn’t work out, so I got the dog instead. Easier to feed and less mess on the carpet, so it’s all good.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2008, 10:00 pm

Mrs P! What happened? The boy…what up?

I spent a few catless years between Andrew and Charlotte. It was awful, but I only take the cats the Cat Goddess sends me.


Comment from Jill
Time: September 24, 2008, 10:59 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEOAh9RDIfI&feature=related

Hey, don’t give me that look. I didn’t write the song.


Comment from Jill
Time: September 24, 2008, 11:00 pm

Mrs. Peel, maybe your dog just wanted you to sit on the couch with her and the two of you watch cartoons together.


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 24, 2008, 11:10 pm

Eh, he didn’t want to marry me, so I ended it. He said something about how he was “worried about the change it would make in [his] life.” (By which he meant, moving out of the city and giving up the swingin’ bachelor life [i.e., not having to "check in" with anyone, eating buffalo wings whenever he wants, playing Wii all night, etc. Because of course I would chain him in the basement every night and present him with a honey-do list every weekend and demand a written itinerary every morning].) I decided I deserved better than a man who thinks that marrying me would be the worst thing that ever happened to him. Which is actually kind of a breakthrough for me, because previously, I would have just accepted it and counted myself lucky.

(An actual conversation while I sat on my parents’ couch crying:
Mom: Are you sorry you made your choice?
Me: (between sobs) No. I’m just sorry he’s a dick.)

Jill, I gots no couch yet, and she’s not allowed on the furniture. Though she did try to put her paws on the table today because she wanted to get to her leash so badly. (She LOVES walks.) When she does stuff like that, I usually exclaim, “Pepper!?!” in a tone of peculiar horror, as if I am absolutely aghast that she would behave in such a way. It seems to work.


Comment from Jill
Time: September 24, 2008, 11:24 pm

Mrs. P, you’re better off without that loser. Believe me – been there, done that. More than once.

It seems like you and Miz Pepper are a match made in heaven.
She sounds sweet. Here’s a big ole hug for the two of you before I go off to Lala Land. (((hug)))


Comment from porknbean
Time: September 25, 2008, 12:04 am

Good for you Mrs. Peel. If he didn’t want to share in your goals, no use wasting your time.
I have an aunt who dated a guy for 20 years and it finally occurred to her, when she found out he never divorced his first wife, that he had no intention of marrying her. Then he dumped her.
Knew of another gal who was dating someone for 11 years, living together, and she whined and hoped that someday he would ask her to marry him. He finally did after 4 more years. Geez…


Comment from LemurKing
Time: September 25, 2008, 1:13 am

Mrs. Peel, by your sarcasm I get the feeling that it is abnormal for us men to be chained in the basement. So…. Cruel Wife really IS treating me cruelly? Damn damn damn. Crap. And here I thought her laughter was laughing with me.

Seriously, life is too short to hang around a guy who can’t get his shit together.

pnb – how the hell could your acquaintance date someone for 11 years who never did think “Hey, this is already a commitment, what is so unusual about making it official?” I just don’t understand. If I like someone I stick with ‘em. If I don’t, I move on. Pretty simple rule-book. Simplify, simplify, I always say. Or was that Thoreau? I know I read it in one of my comic books once last year. :)


Comment from Dawn
Time: September 25, 2008, 1:23 am

I love my husband. He endures so much of my crazy.

Someday your prince will come, MP. {{{hugs}}} from me too!


Comment from Muslihoon
Time: September 25, 2008, 1:55 am

Sorry to hear about the boy, Mrs. Peel. But you did right.

As a man: he was a jerk. Men are supposed to settle down. One cannot be “free” all one’s life, else one will grow old having done nothing worth remembering.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 25, 2008, 4:21 am

Okay, now I feel guilty that I’ve been stringing Uncle B along since 1995…


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: September 25, 2008, 7:39 am

Thanks, all. He’s not a bad person at all. He just isn’t ready to get married. And I am. So, that’s that.

Oooh, sounds like the Weas is a tease! ;-)


Comment from apotheosis
Time: September 25, 2008, 11:12 am

and present him with a honey-do list every weekend

Weekend honey-do lists are a fact of life. As men, we must accept them as such…but we don’t have to look forward to it. That’s not to say we should mope and whine about it, but don’t expect glee, either.

Unless it’s a really COOL list, like…

* Roof needs repair over kitchen, purchase new nail gun. Laser sight optional. While you’re there, pick up a new air compressor…pref. something powerful enough to require a slab foundation, dedicated infrastructure, and investment in carbon credits.

* Front brakes squealing on the minivan, might as well buy that hydraulic shop lift you wanted as well.

* Purchase & install home theater in den. Whatever you think is best, I trust your judgment.

* Aunt Ruby willed me her entire collection of porcelain cats and sad clown figurines, so please pick up a few extra boxes of .22 ammo from sporting goods.


Comment from Dawn
Time: September 25, 2008, 11:30 am

My husband’s honey do list is as follows.
1. Install cat door.

We bought the door in June. When that’s done we will add something new.

Waiting patiently, lest he call me a nag. I need a brighter light in my closet. Should I just hire someone?


Comment from apotheosis
Time: September 25, 2008, 11:44 am

Man solution: knock a hole in the closet wall to the outside, install cat door in hole. Two birds, one stone.


Comment from Stashiu3
Time: September 25, 2008, 11:49 am

Waiting patiently, lest he call me a nag.

Dawn, I’m fairly handy around the house and have replaced/repaired commodes (several, wifey always wanted new ones when we moved to a new assignment), installed hardwood floors (again, several), simple lighting (although electricity makes me a bit nervous), etc… Grew up in Detroit and spent many hours working on cars (Dad worked at Ford Motor Company).

I was completely baffled and defeated at installing a pet door for our dogs. We ended up having a guy from Lowe’s come out to do it (most reasonable price around here). That might not be the problem for your husband, but I thought I’d share that just in case.

Replacing a one-bulb fixture with a two-bulb fixture to get more light in your closet might be something he’s more comfortable with. If telling him that you heard “installing pet-doors sucks!!! and it’s worth getting someone else to install it to save on the aggravation” might help, do that. Changing the light fixture is much more likely to get done (at least around my house).

Hope that helps. :)


Comment from Jill
Time: September 25, 2008, 11:53 am

Imbibing too much weaseltease apt to keep a man awake all night.

Must be all the caffeine.

:)


Comment from porknbean
Time: September 25, 2008, 11:58 am

Dawn, yes.
We have a small bay window in the kitchen and have had a problem with some leakage near the corner. So husband’s dad came over and nailed some kind of flashing at the bottom so the water would roll away. Welllll…the water went under and got trapped. Now we have rot on that corner and may have to replace the door, not to mention replacing that part of the floor. Husband is not a ‘fixer’ of large things, father-n-law is but he ‘wings’ things as he goes with mixed results, so in most instances it is better to hire someone who knows what they are doing. The extra cost is worth it getting done properly in less time.


Comment from Dawn
Time: September 25, 2008, 12:10 pm

Okay, now I feel guilty that I’ve been stringing Uncle B along since 1995…

Badger, right now would be a good time to ask for anything. Your weasel’s feeling guilty…

…and distracted.

Thanks guys. We Dawn’s have subtle ways of nagging. Like posting to a blog where the good sir lurks. And asking for the cat door to be installed as a birthday present.


Comment from Stashiu3
Time: September 25, 2008, 12:21 pm

Like posting to a blog where the good sir lurks.

Doh! (note to self: no more advice for Dawn or man-card will be at risk!)


Comment from Allen
Time: September 25, 2008, 12:27 pm

Hah, I was always way ahead of my wife. She would casually mention something, and I would take note. Then I’d do it at the first opportunity. She never even got a chance to come up with to do lists. Drove her nuts.

Once in a while I would procrastiante, just to give her some nagging time. It’s healthy, having a good naaging session on occasion. :)


Comment from porknbean
Time: September 25, 2008, 2:17 pm

pnb – how the hell could your acquaintance date someone for 11 years who never did think “Hey, this is already a commitment, what is so unusual about making it official?” I just don’t understand.

Guess she made it too easy for him.

She was one of those ‘progressive Canadians’ who view marriage suspiciously. Until she got tired from wondering if he viewed her as ‘free milk’ or ‘the cow’…or something..but was afraid he would get spooked and leave if she confronted him on it.
No matter how progressives like to think they are above humanity, they can’t get away from DNA.


Comment from Lemur King
Time: September 25, 2008, 2:43 pm

It’s one thing to do it because that’s just how life worked out, but if you are avoiding because you have a serious issue about being serious? Might be time to examine. But you know what? Free country. Everybody is free to do it the way they want. Only one thing to keep in mind, don’t hurt somebody while doing it.

Strange for a guy, I know, but the whole “milk” and “cow” thing was funny for one telling and then it stopped being so entertaining. Am I getting old?

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