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Want to go

You see, Pratts Bottom and I have a history. When I first met him, Uncle B had a house in London and, a few years later, bought a small holiday flat on the coast. Whenever I came over, we’d more or less immediately pack up and head South.

I enjoyed that trip, in a way. It was neat watching the transition from urban to rural – which happens surprisingly quickly. Not too far from the urban nightmare that is modern London you find yourself among rolling hills and sheep.

One of the places we passed on the way was Pratts Bottom – or a signpost to it, anyway. And I always said, “please, can we stop and have tea in Pratts Bottom?” and then I’d laugh like a drain. Probably because I was jetlagged.

We never did have tea in Pratts Bottom and we probably never will. It’s a long way to go if you’re not going on to London.

Note it is in Orpington, where the excellent Orpington chicken originated. When I was first shopping for chickens, my first choice was buff orps. They are, however, gigantic. Gazing upon them and thinking of his garden, a tear formed in the corner of Uncle B’s eye.

That’s how I ended up with bantams. The chicken seller rather acidly said, “oh, I thought you were looking for real chickens.”


Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: February 23, 2023, 8:29 pm

“tea in Pratts Bottom?”

Is that along the same phonic humor as “Violets is never the answer!”

The experts are always willing to bully a newcomer, aren’t they !!!!!!!

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 23, 2023, 10:35 pm

I do like place names that make you chuckle, but my favorites are those that make you say, “Huh?” Near where I used to live in North Carolina was a town named Squirrel Level.

Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: February 23, 2023, 10:56 pm

@Uncle Al

Don’t blink as you pass through “Lizard Lick.” Even though it has a famous towing company, there is only one sign post in there designating the wide spot in the road as a settlement.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: February 24, 2023, 9:31 am

Speaking of chickens – is $75 for a 50lb bag of chicken feed a good price?

Somehow that doesn’t work as the phrase “that’s chicken feed” when it’s coming out of my wallet.

Comment from ExpressoBold Pureblood
Time: February 24, 2023, 12:40 pm


Check your Southern States Co-op:

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: February 24, 2023, 3:05 pm

Heh, so I should rush down to that store and buy 10 bags!

There must be leprechaun gold nuggets mixed in there, magically delicious.

Talk about these guys taking advantage (a Mafia loan would be cheaper) of the suburban sudden chicken fancy.
I suspected that was an outrageous price.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 24, 2023, 3:48 pm

@durned…check out what a bale of hay is going for.

Do youse guys follow Nick Freitas? He’s a conservative Virginia state legislator with a wicked sense of humor…anyhoo here’s his take on chicken math.

Comment from durnedyankee
Time: February 24, 2023, 4:31 pm

Chicken Math = Mrs D math.

I wish I had a dollar (inflation ya know) for every time Mrs D has seen a, presumably, loan animal of some sort, a horse, or a cow, or a dog, or a bird, and proclaimed it to be sad because they don’t have any “friends” and they must be lonely.

Dog math has worked that way for the last 40 years. We cannot have a lone pet of any sort, there must be at least 2, and if the 2 fail to play together in the prescribed manner, we must get another. Hence the ‘gay’ guinea pigs (humorous family story) who were NOT gay, and the ridiculous amount of money we spent having one fixed after we discovered “Abbott” was “Abigail” and Costello was a healthy heterosexual male.

Round bales? I’ve got three acres of field that I give the round bales away on in exchange for some guy I’ve never even met mowing and bailing it. I’m afraid to go look at the price.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: February 24, 2023, 5:29 pm

Last year, a 20 kilo bag of Marriage’s layers pellets was £9. This year, it’s £13.

I did manage to buy some tomatoes today, though.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: March 24, 2023, 9:03 pm

For those of you stateside looking for farm stuff, you might want to consider Farmers Business Network. FBN.com
Works in US and Canada.

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